2016TED演讲：更好对话的10种方式英文加中文翻译

All

right

,I

want

to

see

a

show

of

hands:how

many

of

you

have,unfriended

someone

on

Facebook

because

they

said

something

offensive

about

politics

or

religon,childcare

food?

And

how many of you know at least one person that you avoid because you just don't want to talk to

them?You know,it used to be that in order to have a polite conversation we just had to follow the

advice

of

Henry

Higgins

in

Fair

Lady.

Stick

to

the

weather

and

your

these

days,with climate change and anti- vaxxing,those su

bject… are not safe this world that

we live in, this world in which every conversation has the potential to devolve into an argument,

where our politicians can't speak to one another and where even the most trivial of issues have

someone fighting both passionately for it and against it,it's not Research did a study

of 10000 American adults,and they found that at this moment,we are more popularized,we are

more

divided,than

we

ever

have

been

in

're

less

likely

to

compromise,which

means

we're not listening to each we make decisions about where to live,who to marry and

even who our friends are going to be,based on what we already ,that means we're

not listening to each other.A conversation requires a balance between talking and listening,and

somewhere

along

the

way,we

lost

that

,part

of

that

is

due

to

smartphones that you all either have in your hands or close enough that you could grab them

really ing to Pew Research,about a third of American teenagers send more than a

hundred text a many of them,almost most of them, are more likely to text their friends

than they are to talk to them face to 's this great piece in The was written by

a high school teacher named Paul Barnwell.

And

he

gave

his

kids

a

communication

wanted

to

teach

them

how

to

speak

in

a

specific subject without using he said this

conversational

competence

might

be

the

single

most

overlooked

skill

we

fail

to

teach.

Kids

spend

hours

each

day

engaging

with

ideas

and

each

other

through

screens,but

rarely

do

they

have

an

opportunity

to

hone

their

interpersonal

communication

mingt

should

like

a

funny question,but we have to ask ourselves:Is there any 21st-century skill more important than

being

able

to

sustain

coherent,confident

conversation?Now,I

make

my

living

talking

to

people:Nobel

Prize

winners,truck

drivers,billionaires,kindergarten

teachers,head

of

state,plumbers.I talk to people that I like.I talk to people that I don't like.I talk to some people

that I disagree with deeply on a personal I still have a great conversation with

I'd like to spend the next 10 minutes or so teaching you how to talk and how to of

you

have

already

hear

a

lot

of

advice

on

this,things

like

look

the

person

in

the

eye,think

of

interesting

topics

to

discuss

in

advance,look,nod

and

smile

to

show

that

you're

paying

attention,repeat back what you just heard or summarize it .So I want you to forget all of is

is

no reason

to

learn

how

to

show

you're

paying

attention

if

you

are

in

fact

paying

,I actually use the exact same skills as a professional interviewer that I do in regular

,I'm going to teach you how to interview people, and that's actually going to help you learn

how

to

be

better

to

have

a

conversation

without

wasting

your

time,without getting bored ,and,please God,without offending 've all had really great

've had them know what it's kind of conversation where you

walk away feeling engaged and inspired,or where you feel like you've made a real connection or

you've been perfectly is no reason why most of your interactions can't be like

I

have 10

basic rules.I'm

going

to

walk you

through

all

of

them,but

honestly,if you

just

choose one of them and master it,you'll already enjoy better conversations.

Number 1:Don't I don't mean just set down your cell phone or your tablet or

your car keys or whatever is in you hand.I mean, be in that 't think about

your argument you had with your 't think about what you're going to have for

you want to get out of the conversation,get out of the conversation,but don't be half in it and half

out of it .

Number 2:Don't you want to state your opinion without any opportunity for

response or argument or pushback or growth,write a ,there's a reall good reason why I

don't

allow

pundits

on

my

show

:Because

they're

really

they're

conservative,they're

going

to

hate

Obama

and

food

stamps

and

they're

liberal,the're

going

to

hate

big

banks

and

oil

corporations

and

Dick

y

pre

you

don't

want

to

be

like

need to enter every conversation assuming that you have something to famed

therapist Peck said that true listening requires a setting aside of sometimes

that means setting aside your personal said that sensing this acceptance,the speaker

will become less and less vulnerable and more and more likely to open up the inner recesses of

his

or

her

mind

to

the

,assume

that

you

have

something

to

Nye:

is an expert in something.

Number

3:Use

open-ended

this

case,take

a

cue

from

your

questions with who, what,when ,where,why or you put in a complicated question,you're

going to get a simple answer I ask you,

most powerful word in that sentence,which is

wasn't.

you

angry?

was

very

angry.

them

describe

're

the

ones

that

asking

them

things

like,

was

that

like?

did

that

feel?

then

they

might

have

to

stop

for

a

moment

and

think

about

it,and

you're

going

to

get

a

much

more

interesting respone.

Number 4:Go with the means thoughts will come into your mind,and you need to

let them go out of your 've heared interviews often in which a guest is talking for several

minutes

and

then

the

host

comes

back

in

and

asks

a

question

which

sees

like

it

comes

out

of

nowhere,or

it's

already

been

means

the

host

probably

stopped

listening

two

minutes

ago

because

he

thought

of

this

really

clever

question,and

he

was

just

bound

and

determined to say we do the exact same 're sitting there having a conversation

with someone,and then we remember that time that we met Hugh Jackman in a coffee

we stop s and ideas are going to come to need to let them come and let

them go.

Number 5:If you don't know,say that you don't people on the radio,especially on

NPR,are mucn more aware that they're going on the record,and so they're more careful about

what they claim to be an expert in and what they claim to know for on the side

of should not be cheap.

Number

6:Don't

equate

your

experience

with

they're

talking

about

having

lost

a

family

member,don't

start

talking

about

the

time

you

lost

a

family

they're

talking

about the trouble they're having at work,don't tell them about how much you hate your 's

not

the

is

never

the

experiences

are ,more

importantly,it

is

not

about

don't

need

to

take

that

moment

to

prove

how

amazing

you

are

or

how

much

you've dy asked Stephen Hawking once what his IQ was,and he said,

who brag about their IQs are loser.

Number 7:Try not to repeat 's condescending,and it's really boring,and we tend to

do it a ally in work conversations or in conversations with our kids,we have a point to

make,so we just keep rephrasing it over and 't do that.

Number 8:Stay

out

of

the y,people

don't care

about

the

years,the

names,the

dates,allthose details that you're struggling to come up with in your don't

they care about is care about what you're like,what you have in forget the

them out.

Number 9:This is not the last one,but it is the most important .I cannot tell you

how many really important poeple have said that listening is perhaps the most,the number one

most important skill that you could said,and I'm paraphrasing,

open,you're

not

learning.

Calvin

Coolidge

said,

man

evet

listened

his

way

out

of

a

job.

control.I don't have to hear anything I'm not interested in.I'm the center of attention.I can bolster

my own there's another reason:We get average person talks at about

225 words per minute,but we can listen at up to 500 words per our minds are filling in

those

other 275

look,I

know,

it

takes

effort and

energy

to

actually

pay attention

to

someone,but if you can't do that,you're not in a 're just two people shouting out

barely related sentences in the same have to listen to one n Covey said

it very said,

the intent to reply.

One more rule,Number 10,and it's this one:Be brief.A good conversation is like a miniskirt

；

short

enough

to

retain

interest,but

long

enough

to

cover

the

subject-My

of

this

boils

down to the same basic concept,and it is this one:Be interested in other know,I grew

up with a very famous grandfather,and there was kind of a ritual in my would come

over

to

talk

to

my

grandparents,and

after

they

would

leave,my

mother

would

come

over

to

us,and she'd say,

the

mayor

of

won

a

Pulitzer

's

a

Russian

ballet

dancer.

I

kind

of

grew up assuming everyone has some hidden,amazing thing about honestly, I think it's

what makes me a better host.I keep my mouth shut as often as I possibly can,I keep my mind

open,and

I'm

always

prepared

to

be

amazed,and

I'm

never

do

the

same

out, talk to people,listen to people,and,most importantly,be prepared to be amazed.

我 想让大家举手示意一下

:

有多少人曾经在社交网络上拉黑过好友 ，因为他们发表过关

于政治、宗教、

儿童权益、

或者食物等不恰当的言论？有多少人之前有一个不想见的人，

因

为你就是不想和对方说话。

要知道在过去想要进行一 段礼貌的交谈，我们只要遵守亨利

·

希金斯在《窈窕淑女》中< /p>

的忠告

:

谈论天气和你的健康状况就行了 ，

但这些年随着气候变化以及反对疫苗运动的开展，

这招也不怎 么管用了。

因此在我们生活的这个世界，

每一次交谈都有可能发展为争辩。

政客无法彼此交流，

再< /p>

鸡毛蒜皮的小事都有人群情激昂的赞成或反对

:

< br>这太不正常了。

皮尤研究中心对一万名美国成年人做了 一次调查，

发现我们现在的偏激程度、

我们的立

场鲜明程度，比历史上任何时期都要高。

我们越来越不倾向于妥协，这意味着我们没有倾听彼此。

我们做的各种决定

:

选择生活在何处、与谁 结婚、甚至和谁交朋友，都只基于我们已经