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简单英语演讲稿带翻译
(
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)
blonde’s
appendicitis
-
金发美女的阑
尾炎
a
blonde
has
sharp
pains
in
her
side.
the
doctor
examines
her
and
says,
“you
have
acute appendicitis.”
the
blonde
says,
“that’s
sweet,
doc,
but i
came here to get medical help.”
一个金发美女的腹部侧面感到剧<
/p>
痛。医生检查之后告诉他：
“
你得了急性
阑尾炎。
”
金发美女说：
“
您真贴心，医生，但
是我是来求医的。
”
< br>
little
johnny...
finding
jesus
小强尼
-
寻找耶稣
a sunday school teacher is concerned
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that his students might be a little
confused
about jesus, so he asks his
class, “where is
jesus
today?”steven
raises
his
hand
and
says, “he’s in
heaven.”mary answers, “he’s
in
my
heart.”little
johnny
waves
his
hand
furiously
and
blurts
out,
“he’s
in
our
bathroom!”the surprised teacher asks
little
johnny
how
he
knows
this.”well,”
little
johnny
says,
“every
morning,
my
father
gets
up,
bangs
on
the
bathroom
door
and
yells
‘jesus christ, are you still in there?!’”
一名主日学校的老师担心他的学生们有
可能对耶稣感到困惑，于是他问他的学
生们：
“
耶稣今天在哪里？
< br>”
斯蒂芬举起
他的手，说道：
“
他在天堂。
”
玛丽回答：
“
他在我心里。
”
小强尼用
力挥了挥手，
脱口而出：
“
他在我们浴
室里！
”
大吃一
惊的老师问小强尼他怎
么知道这个。
“
这
个嘛，
”
小强尼说：
“
每天早上，
我父亲
起床后，都会敲浴室的门喊着
?
基督
-
耶
稣，你还在里面啊？
?”
little
johnny...
know
it
all
小强尼什
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么都知道
little
johnny
asks
his
mother
her
age.s
he
replies,
“gentlemen
don’t
ask
ladies
that
question.”johnny
then
asks
his
mother
how
much
she
his
mother
replies,
“gentlemen
don’t
ask
ladies
that
question.”the
boy
then
asks,
“why
did
daddy
leave
you?”to
this,
the
mother says, “you shouldn’t ask that,”
and
sends him to his the way, johnny
trips
over
his
mother’s
purse.
when
he
picks
it
up,
her
driver’s
license
falls
runs
back
into
the
room.
“i
know all
about you now. you are 36 years
old,
weigh 127 pounds and daddy left you
because you got an ‘f’ in sex!”
< br>小强尼问他
母亲的年龄是多少。她回答道：
“
绅士们
是不会问女士们这个问题的。
”
于是强尼
问他母亲她的体重是多少。他的母亲再
一
次回答：
“
绅士们是不会问女士们这个
问题的。
”
于是这孩纸问：
“
为什么爸爸
离开了你？
”
对于这个问题，这位母亲
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说：
“
你不应该问这个问题。
”
然后把他
送回他自己的房间。在走的时候，强尼<
/p>
被他母亲的钱包绊倒。当他把钱包捡起
来的时候，她的驾照掉了出
来。强尼跑
回母亲的房间说：
“
现在关
于你的问题我
都知道答案了。
你
36<
/p>
岁了，
体重
127
磅，
还有爸爸离开你的原因是因为你在
sex
上的考评是
f
！
”
little
johnny...
definite
definition
小
强尼
-
肯定的定义
the
preschool
teacher
says,
“we’re
going to do
vocabulary today. who can use
the
word
‘definitely’
in
a
sentence?”mary
raises
her
hand
and
exclaims,
“me
me
me!”the
teacher
says,
“go
ahead,
what’s
the
sentence?mary
replies,
“the
sky
is
definitely
blue.”“that’s
good,
mary,”
says
the teacher, “but the sky can also be
gray
or
white.”sam
raises
his
hand
and
states,
“grass is definitely green.”the teacher
says,
“that’s good, sam, but grass can
be brown,
too.”little johnny
raises his hand and asks,
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“do farts have
lumps in them?”
the teacher says, “no johnny, why do
you ask that?”little johnny replies,
“well, i
definitely sh*t my pants.”
幼儿园老师说：
“
我们今天要做词汇题了。
谁能在句子里
运用
“
肯定
”
这个词？
”
< br>玛丽举了手大声
说：
“
我我我！
”
老师说：
“
你说吧，什么
句子？
”
玛丽回答：
“
天空肯定是蓝蓝
的。
”“
回答得不错，玛丽
”
老师点评
道：
“
但天空也可能是灰色或者白色的。
”
山
姆举手说道：
“
草地肯定是绿色的。
”
老
师说
：
“
回答得不错，山姆，但是草地也
可
能是棕色的。
”
小强尼举手问道：
“<
/p>
屁
会结成块儿吗？
”
老师说：
“
不会的，强
尼，你为什
么问这个问题？
”
小强尼回
答：
“
好吧，
我
“
肯定
”
大便在裤裆里了。
”
经同意转载自：
we are the world ,we are
the future
someone
said
“we
are
reading
the
first
verse
of
the
first
chapter
of
a
book,
whose
pages
are
infinite”.
i
don
’
t
know
who
wrote
these
words,
but
i
’
ve
always
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liked
them
as
a
reminder
that
the
future
can
be
anything
we
want
it
to
be.
we
are
all
in
the
position
of
the
farmers.
if
we
plant a good seed ,we reap a good
harvest.
if
we
plant
nothing
at
all,
we
harvest
nothing at all.
we
are
young.
“how
to
spend
the
youth?”
it
is
a
meaningful
question.
to
answer it, first i have to ask “what do
you
understand
by
the
word
youth?”
youth
is
not a
time of life, it
’
s a state
of mind. it
’
s
not
a
matter
of
rosy
cheeks,
red
lips
or
supple
knees. it
’
s the matter of
the will. it
’
s the freshneof
the deep spring of life.
a poet said “to see a world in a grain
of
sand,
and
a
heaven
in
a
wild
flower,
hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
and
eternity in an hour. several days
ago, i had
a chance to listen to a
lecture. i learnt a lot
there.
i
’
d like to share it with
all of you.
let
’
s
show
our
right
palms.
we
can
see
three
lines
that
show
how
our
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and life is. i
have a short line of life.
what
about
yours?
i
wondered
whether
we
could
see
our
future
in
this
way.
well, let
’
s make a fist.
where is our
future?
where
is
our
love,
career,
and
life?
tell ,
it is in our hands. it is held in
ourselves.
we
all
want
the
future
to
be
better
than
the past.
but the future can
go better
itself.
don
’
t cry because it is
over, smile
because it happened. from
the past, we
’
ve
learnt
that
the
life
is
tough,
but
we
are
tougher. we
’
ve
learnt that we can
’
t choose
how
we
feel,
but
we
can
choose
what
about
it. failure doesn
’
t mean you
don
’
t
have it, it
does mean you should do it in a
different
way.
failure
doesn
’
t
mean
you
should
give up, it does mean you must try
harder.
as
what
i
said
at
the
beginning,
“we
are
reading
the
first
verse
of
the
first
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/p>
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chapter
of
a
book,
whose
pages
are
infinite”. the past has gone. nothing
we do
will change it. but the future is
in front of
us. believe that what we
give to the world,
the world will give
to
us. and from today
on,
let
’
s be the owners of
ourselves, and
speak
out
“we
are
the
world,
we
are
the
future.”
世界是我们的，未来是我们的
一些人说
“
我们正在读一本无穷的
书中的第一章的第一节。
”
我不知道谁写
了这些话，但是我一直很喜欢它，因为
它提醒了
我，
我们能够创造我们想要的未来。
我们都是农夫。如果我们播下好的
种子，我们将会丰收。如果我们的种子
很差，有很多草籽，收割
的将是无用的
庄稼。如果我们什么也不播种，什么收
获也没有。
我们是
年轻的。
“
怎样度过青春？
”
这是个有意义的问题。为了去回答它，
我首先要问
“
从‘青春’这个词中你能理
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解到什么？
”
青春不是人生的一个时
期，而是精神的一种状态。青春不是桃
面、丹唇、柔膝，而是深
沉的意志，
。青
春是生命的深泉在涌流
.
一位诗人说
< br>“
从一粒沙看世界，
从一
朵花看
天堂，把无限放在你的手掌，永
恒在一刹那里收藏
”
。几天前，我有了一
个听讲座的机会，从中我学到了很多东
西。现在，我想把这些与大家共享。让
我们伸出右手，我们可以看到手掌中的<
/p>
展示我们的爱，事业和生活的三条线。
我在生活方面这条线很短，
那你们的
呢？我想知道我们是否可以用这种办法
去看我们的未来
。好的，让我们一起握
拳。我们的未来在哪儿？我们的爱、事
业
和生活在哪儿？告诉我！是的，它们
就在我们的手中。它们被我们自己掌握
着。
我们所有人都希望未来能比过去更
美好，但是未来能自己变得更好。不要
因为结束而哭泣，微笑吧，为你的曾经
拥有。从过去来看，生活是艰苦
的，但
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我们是
更坚强。我们知道我们不能选择
感觉，
但是我们能选择和它相关
的东西。
失败并不意味着你不拥有成功，它只意
味着你应该用另
一种方式去做这件事。
失败并不意味着你应该放弃，只意味着
你
应该更加努力。
正如我在前面所说的
“
我们正在读
一本无穷的书中的第一章的第一节。
”
过
< br>去的已经过去，无论我们无力改变，但
是未来却在我们前方。
相信
“
我们给了世
界什么，世界也
将给我们
”
。并且从今天
起，让我们一
起做我们自己的主人，一
起大声说出
“
世界是我们的，
未来是我们
的。
”
简单的英语寓言故事带翻译：小马
过河
the simple
english fable
：
a little horse
crossing the river
there
are
an
old
horse
and
a
little
horse on a farm. one day the old horse
asks
the little horse to send the wheat
to the mill.
the little horse is very
happy. he carries the
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