-
119 The One Where the Monkey
Gets Away
[Scene: Central
Perk, Rachel is talking to a customer.]
Rachel:
Okay,
okay,
I
checked.
We
have:
Earl
Grey,
English
Breakfast,
Cinnamon Stick,
Camomile, Mint Medley, Blackberry, and.. oh, wait,
there's one more, um.. Lemon Soother.
You're not the guy that asked
for the
tea, are you? (Guy shakes his head) Okay.
Opening Credits
[Scene:
Central Perk, Monica enters with some mail.]
Monica:
Mail call, Rachel
Green, bunk seven.
Rachel:
Thank you. (Examines it) Oh, cool! Free sample of
coffee!
Monica:
Oh good!
'Cause where else would we get any?
Rachel:
Oh. Right. ...Oh
great.
Monica:
What is it?
Rachel:
Country club
newsletter. My mother sends me the engagement
notices
for
'insp
iration.'
Oh
my
God!
Oh
my
God,
it's
Barry
and
Mindy!
Monica:
Barry who you
almost...?
Rachel:
Barry who
I almost.
Monica:
And Mindy,
your maid of...?
Rachel:
Mindy, my maid of. Oh!
Monica:
(Takes it) That's
Mindy? Wow, she is pretty. (Sees Rachel's
look) Lucky. To have had a friend like
you.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's,
Rachel and Ross are eating Chinese.]
Ross:
Marcel.
Bring
me
the
rice,
c'mon.
Bring
me
the
rice,
c'mon.
Good
boy.
Good
boy.
C'mere,
gimme
the
rice.
(Marcel
brings
the
rice)
Thank
you,
good
boy.
Well,
I
see
he's
finally
mastered
the
difference
between
'bring me the' and 'pee in the'.
(Rachel ignores him) 'Bring me the'
and- Rach?
Rachel: What?
Ross: Hi.
Rachel:
Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, this is so stupid! I mean, I
gave Barry
up, right? I should be happy
for them! I am, I'm happy for them.
Ross:
Really.
Rachel:
No. Oh, oh, I guess
it would be different if I were- with
somebody.
Ross:
Whoah,
uh,
what
happened
to,
uh,
'Forget
relationships!
I'm
done
with
men!' The whole, uh, penis embargo?
Rachel:
Oh, I don't know. I
guess it's not about no guys, it's about
the
right
guy,
y'know?
I
mean,
with
Barry,
it
was
safe
and
it
was
easy,
but there was no heat. With Paolo,
that's all there was, was heat!
And it
was just this raw, animal, sexual...
Ross:
Wait-wait. I, I got
it. I was there.
Rachel:
Well, I mean, do you think you can ever have both?
Y'know?
Someone who's like, who's like
your best friend, but then also can
make your toes curl?
Ross:
Yes.
Yes.
Yes!
Yes,
I
really
do!
In
fact,
it's
funny,
very
often,
someone
who
you
wouldn't
think
could-could
curl
your
toes,
might
just
119
猴子被送走
我刚看过了
我们有伯爵茶，英式早餐茶
肉桂茶，菊花茶薄荷茶，黑莓茶
还有，让我想一下，哦…柠檬派
你不是那个要喝茶的人对吧
?
瑞秋，你有信
谢谢
酷，免费试喝的咖啡
太好了
因为在哪儿还有免费的咖啡
?
太好了
那是什么
?
乡村俱乐部的每日公报
我妈寄来通知有人要订婚了
噢
,
我的天
!
是巴瑞和明蒂
巴瑞，你几乎
...
巴瑞，我几乎
...
明蒂，你的伴娘
明蒂，我的伴娘
我看看
那是明蒂
?
真漂亮
她真幸运…
有你这样的朋友
马修，拿饭给我，快…
真乖，谢谢
他终于能分辨”拿来”
和”尿在”的差别了
瑞秋
,
怎么啦
?
抱歉，我真是太笨了
是我不要巴瑞的
我应该为他们高兴
我真为他们高兴
真的
?
不
如果我和别人在一起就不同了
你不是说要忘了那段感情
不再和男人在一起
厌恶男人吗
?
我不知道
我想这不是没有男人的问题
而是合适男人的问题
和巴瑞在一起安全自在
没有激情
和保罗在一起就充满激情
be the one who...
(Enter the
other four)
Monica: Hi.
Ross:
...Gets interrupted.
Hi!
Rachel:
Hi, how was the
movie?
Monica:
Wonderful!
Phoebe:
So good!
Joey:
Suck-fest.
Chandler:
Toootal chick-
flick.
Phoebe:
I-I'm
sorry
it
wasn't
one
of
those
movies
with,
like,
y'know,
guns and bombs and,
like, buses going really fast...
Joey:
Hey, I don't need
violence to enjoy a movie. Just so long as
there's a little nudity.
Monica:
There was nudity!
Joey:
I meant
female
nudity. Alright? I
don't need to see Lou Grant
frolicking.
Monica and Phoebe:
Hugh!
Hugh Grant!
Ross:
Alright,
I've gotta go. C'mon, Marcel! C'mon! We're gonna
go
take a bath. Yes we are, aren't we?
Yes, we are.
Chandler:
They're still just friends, right?
Rachel:
(To Marcel) And I
will see you tomorrow!
Ross:
That's right, you're gonna spend tomorrow at Aunt
Rachel's,
aren't you.
Monica:
Oh, hang on, hang
on. Does Aunt Monica get a say in this?
Ross:
'Pwease, Aunt Monica,
pwease?' Oh, unclench. You're not even
gonna be there.
[Scene:
Joe-G's Pizza, the guys are there.]
Chandler:
I can't believe we
are even having this discussion.
Joey:
I agree. I'm, like, in
disb
elief.
Chandler:
I mean, don't you
think if things were gonna happen with
Rachel, they would've happened already?
Ross:
I'm
telling
you,
she
said
she's
looking
for
a
relationship
with
someone exactly like me.
Joey:
She really said that?
Ross:
Well, I added the
'exactly like me' part... But she said she's
looking for someone, and someone is
gonna
be there tonight.
Joey:
'Tonight' tonight?
Ross:
Well, I think it's
perfect. Y'know, it's just gonna be the two
of us, she spent all day taking care of
my monkey...
Chandler:
I
can't remember the last time I got a girl to take
care
of my monkey.
Ross:
Anyway, I figured
after work I'd go pick up a bottle of wine,
go over there and, uh, try to woo her.
Chandler:
Hey, y'know what
you should do? You should t
ake her back
to the 1890's, when that phrase was
last used.
[Scene:
Monica
and
Rachel's,
Rachel
is
taking
care
of
Marcel
and
they
are
watching a soap opera.]
Rachel:
Now,
now
the
one
in
the
feather
boa,
that's
Dr.
Francis.
Now,
如野兽般原始的性爱
好了，我懂，
我看过你们两个在一起的样子
你认为我能两者同时拥有吗
?
找到一个能当知己
又能让我感受到激情的人
?
是呀
,
我也这么认为
.
其实说来好笑
时常你认为无法让你感受到激情的人
却是…
被打断了
电影如何
?
很不错
很不错
逊毙了
根本是小妞们看的嘛
真遗撼这不是枪林弹雨
公车速度奇快的那种电影
暴力并不能吸引我
只要有裸体镜头我就满足了
那电影也有裸体镜头
我是指女生的裸体镜头
我不爱看卢葛兰的春宫
休葛兰
我得走了
走吧，马修，快
我们去洗澡
对不对
?
对
他们只是朋友吗
?
明天见
对，你明天要到瑞秋阿姨家
等等，摩阿姨能说句话吗
?
摩阿姨请说
别紧张了，你不会在这儿的
我无法相信我们竟在讨论此事
我同意，我也无法相信
你不认为
如果你和瑞秋会爱情产生的话
还会一直拖到现在吗
?
告诉你，她说她在寻找像我这样的人
她真的这样说
?
”像我这样”是我自己加的
她说她在寻找某人
而此人今晚就会出现
今天晚上
?
这样最好不过了
因为只有我们两个
she
used
to
be
a
man.
Okay,
now
look,
see,
there's
Raven.
We
hate
her.
We're
glad
she's
dying.
Okay-
(Marcel
pushes
down
a
cushion
to
reveal
a
shoe)
Wh-
wh-
Marcel,
are
you
playing
with
Monica's
shoes?
You
know
you're
not supposed to pl- whoah. Marcel, did you poo in
the shoe?
(Takes the shoe into the
kitchen) Marcel, bad monkey! Oh! Oh! (She
notices the newsletter and taps the
contents of the shoes onto it,
then
folds it shut) Sorry, Barry. Little engagement
gift. I'm sure
you didn't register for
that. (She leaves the apartment holding the
newsletter
at
arm's
length.
However,
she
leaves
the
door
open.
Marcel
runs
out in the opposite direction. There is a shot
from the TV and
Rachel runs back in)
Who died? Who died? Roll him over! Oh, c'mon,
roll him over! Oh...! Well, we know it
wasn't Dexter, right Marcel?
Because-
(Looks
down
and
notices
he
is
missing)
Marcel?
Marc-
(Notices
the open door)
[Time lapse.
Now everyone but Ross and Phoebe is back at Monica
and
Rachel's.]
Joey:
How could you lose
him?
Rachel:
I don't know.
We were watching TV, and then he pooped in
Monica's shoe-
Monica:
Wait. He pooped in
my shoe? Which one?
Rachel:
I don't know. The left one.
Monica:
Which ones?
Rachel:
Oh. Oh,
those little clunky Amish things you think go with
everything.
Phoebe:
(Entering) Hey.
All:
Hi.
Phoebe:
Whoah, ooh, why is
the air in here so negative?
Chandler:
Rachel lost
Marcel.
Phoebe:
Oh no, how?
Monica:
He- he pooped in my
shoe.
Phoebe:
Which one?
Monica:
Those cute little
black ones I wear all the time.
Phoebe:
No, which
one
? The right or left?
'Cause the left one is
lucky...
Rachel:
C'mon, you guys,
what're we gonna do, what're we gonna do?
Joey:
Alright
alright.
You're
a
monkey.
You're
loose
in
the
city.
Where
do
you go?
Chandler:
Okay,
it's
his
first
time
out,
so
he's
probably
gonna
wanna
do
some
of
the
touristy
things.
I'll
go
to
Cats
,
you
go
to
the
Russian
Tea Room
.
Rachel:
Oh, my, God, c'mon,
you guys! He's gonna be home any minute!
He's gonna kill me!
Monica:
Okay, we'll start
with the building. You guys take the first
and second floor, Phoebe and I'll take
third and fourth.
Rachel:
Well, what'm I gonna do? What'm I gonna do?
Monica:
Okay, you stay here,
and just wait by the phone. Spray
Lysol
in my shoe, and wait for Ross to kill
you.
(They all leave)
她整天都在照顾我的猴子
我早已忘记哪个女人照顾过我的猴子
总之下班后我要去买瓶酒
去向她”示爱”
知道你该怎么做吗
?
带她回到用”示爱”的十九世纪去
如果你继续这样
我发誓这星期内
你就可以和这个浑蛋结束
围羽毛围巾的是法博土
她曾是个男人
出现了蕾文
我们讨厌她
真高兴她就快死了
什么
?
马修，想玩摩妮卡的鞋吗
?
你不能玩…
马修，你在鞋里大便
?
天啊，坏猴子
抱歉，巴瑞，订婚礼物
我相信你没登记
谁死了
?
翻过去
不是崔斯勒
马修
?
因为…马修…
你怎会把它弄丢了呢<
/p>
?
天晓得
我正在看电视
它在摩妮卡的鞋内大便
它在我的鞋里大便
?
我不知道，左脚
哪一双
?
搭配什么都好看的阿米许鞋
为何一片愁云惨雾
?
瑞秋把马修弄丢了
不会吧，怎么丢的
?
它在我鞋里大便
哪个
?
我常穿的那只黑鞋
是哪一只
?
左脚还右脚
?
因为左脚是幸运鞋
大家快想办法
我们该怎么办
?
有了，如果你是只猴子
迷失在大城市时
你会去哪儿
?
这是它第一次出门
所以大概和一般游客一样
我去百老汇找
.
Rachel:
Anybody wanna trade?
Oh...
[Cut to a hallway in the
building, Monica and Phoebe are knocking on
a door. Mr. Heckles emerges.]
Mr. Heckles:
Whaddyou want?
Monica:
Mr. Heckles, our
friend lost a monkey. Have you seen it?
Mr. Heckles:
I left a
Belgian waffle out here, did you take it?
Monica: No!
Phoebe:
Why would you leave
your Belgian waffle in the hall?
Mr.
Heckles:
I wasn't ready for it.
Monica:
A monkey. Have you
seen a monkey?
Mr. Heckles:
Saw Regis Philbin once...
Phoebe:
Okay, thank you, Mr.
Heckles. (They move off)
Mr.
Heckles:
You owe me a waffle.
[Cut to Monica and Rachel's.]
Rachel:
(On the phone) Okay,
he's a, he's a black capuchian monkey
with
a
white
face...
(Enter
Ross)
...with,
with
Russian
dressing
and,
and
pickles on the side. Okay. Thanks.
Ross:
Hey. How did, uh,
how'd it go today?
Rachel:
Great! It went great. Really great. Hey, is that
wine?
Ross:
Yeah. You, uh,
you want some?
Rachel:
Oh, I
would love some. But y'know what? Y'know what?
Let's
not drink it here. I'm feeling
kinda crazy. You wanna go to Newark?
Ross:
Uh, okay, yeah, we
could do
that, but before we
head off to
the
murder capital of the North-East, I
was, uh, kinda wanting to run
something
by
you.
Y'know
how
we
were,
uh,
y'know,
talking
before
about,
uh, relationships and
stuff? (Uncorks the wine) Well-
Rachel:
Oh God, Ross, I
cannot do this.
Ross:
Okay,
quick and painful. (Starts to cork the wine)
Rachel:
Oh God... Okay.
Alright. Alright. Okay. Ross, please don't
hate me.
Ross:
Oh, what? What-what?
Rachel:
Y'know Marcel?
Ross:
...Yeah?
Rachel:
Well, I
kind of... I kind of lost him.
[Cut to
outside the window, with Ross reacting with
disbelief. The
shot pans back until we
see Marcel sitting on the window ledge.]
Commercial Break
[Scene:
Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Ross:
(Angry) I- I- I ca- I
can't believe this. I mean, all I asked
you to do was keep him in the
apartment.
Rachel:
I know, I
know, I'm sorry-
Ross:
No,
y'know what, I guess it's partially my fault.
Y'know, I
shouldn't've, uh, asked you
to start off with a monkey. I should've
started you off with like a pen or a
pencil.
Rachel:
(Tearfully)
Ross, I'm doing everything that I can, I've got
everybody looking for him, and I- (Door
buzzer goes and she runs to
get it) Oh!
Who is it?
Intercom:
Animal
Control.
你去俄罗斯茶坊
.
别再闹了
他马上就会回家
他不会饶过我的
我们从这栋公寓开始找起
你们找一楼和二楼
菲此和我找三楼和四楼
我该怎么办
?
你留在家里等电话
在我鞋内啧芳香剂
顺便等罗斯回来杀你
有人要交换吗
?
干嘛
?
哈先生
我们朋友遗失了一只猴子
你有看见吗
?
我放了威化饼在这儿
是不是你拿了
?
不
!
你怎会放威化饼在走廊
?
我还不想吃
你有看见猴子吗
?
我见到过一次”理
吉斯菲邦”
（著名电视
节目主持人）
谢谢你，哈先生
你们欠我威化饼
他是一只白脸的黑卷尾猴
加俄国酱外加腌黄瓜
好，谢谢
今天过得如何
?
很好啊
很好啊
真的很不错
< br>.
那是酒吗
?
是的
,
想喝吗
?
可是我们别在这儿喝
我感觉有点疯狂
我们去纽华克好吗
?
什么
?
当然可以去
前往这东北犯罪首府
我有些话想说
我们曾谈过感情的问题
罗斯，我受不了了
你回绝得倒是很快嘛
好吧，罗斯，别恨我
到底是什么
?
马修它…
我把它…弄丢了
我真不敢相信
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