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1. “I feel like we're moving too
fast.”
我觉得咱们发展太快了。
If a
person says this and then suggests slowing down a
little bit (maybe
seeing/texting
each
other
less
during
the
week
or
whatever)
then
they
are
probably
reacting
accordingly
to
things
getting
serious
more
quickly
than
they'd
like.
Fine!
Understandable!
If
a
person
says
this
and
then
suggests
no
longer
seeing
each
other
at all
(or [ugh] “taking a break”) then they've realized
that they are no longer
interested in
this budding relationship but would rather end on
infuriatingly
open-ended terms than
risk confrontation.
如果一个人说这句话，并希望节奏慢一些<
/p>
（比如见面或者发信息的次数少一些等等），
那么
很可能是他不愿意你们的关系发展这么快。好吧！
可以理解！
< br>如果有人这么说，并且建议双
方不要见面了（或者说，
“
休息一下”）
，那么他们应该是已经意识到对这段感情不再感兴
趣，希望能顺其自然地结束，不用冒着面对面分手的风险。
2. “I don't want to hurt
you.”
我不想伤害你。
This one is baffling because there
exists a vast middle ground between
“being in
a relationship and
hurting someone” and “not being in a relationship
and not
hurting
someone.”
Part
of
it
is
“being
in
a
relationship
and
not
hurting
someone”!
So
it's
strange
that
the
person
using
this
line
thinks
that
the
person
being
dumped
doesn't understand
this? No one who hears this feels grateful for
their feelings
being spared. They might
feel grateful for avoiding dating a turd.
这个比较麻烦，
因为在“谈恋爱伤害对方”
和“不在一起不伤害对方”
之间有一个巨大的
灰色地带。因为也可以“在一起但不伤害对方” 啊！所以那些说这句
台词的人，难道意识
不到被甩的那一方不明白这个道理么？没有哪个被甩的人会因为听到
这句话对你的体贴感
激涕零。他们只会庆幸没有继续跟渣人浪费时间。
< br>
3. “I'm not looking for a
relationship.”
我现在还不想谈恋爱。
On its
own, this is a completely valid statement. Not
everyone is looking for a
relationship,
and sometimes people who are both looking for
relationships are
actually
looking
for
different
ones!
Different
strokes,
you
know?
But
it
is
without
a doubt the worst kind of person who
says they aren't looking for a relationship,
allows the other person to walk away
feeling like they experienced an honest and
amicable parting of ways with a decent
human whom they will think of fondly, and
then announces their new relationship
on Facebook three days later.
从这句话本身来说，
这完全是一个有效的声明。
不是每个人都想恋爱，
有时候那些寻求恋情
的只是在找不同的玩伴而已！
不
同的刺激，
懂了么？毫无疑问，
这种说自己不想谈恋爱的人，<
/p>
往往会让其他人觉得他们正跟无比喜欢的绅士经历了真诚和平的分手，
结果三天后又在社交
网络公布了自己的新恋情。
4. “I'm just so fucked up right
now.”
我现在心力憔悴。
Hahaha OK, one second, because our eyes
will literally never stop rolling. Sure,
maybe
it's
true.
Maybe
this
person
is
“so
fucked
up.”
But
first
of
all,
WHO
ISN'T?
And second of all,
maybe stop? “So fucked up” isn't a fixed trait (or
even, if
we're being honest, actually a
trait at all). It's like the person who says, “I
know I'm
late all the time,
but that's just me!” An acknowledgment isn't the
end
of
the
conversation.
Being
late
all
the
time
is
rude.
This
statement
means
nothing.
Stop doing it.
哈哈，好，一秒钟休息，我们
的眼睛从来不会停止转动。当然，也许这是真的。也许这个人
真的“心力交瘁”，
但首先，
谁不是这样呢？其次，
能停下来么？
“心力交瘁”不是一个可
以修复的特征。
就好像一个人说“我知
道我每次都迟到，
但这就是我！
坦白不能让事情了结，
每次都迟到就是不礼貌的表现。这种说辞无济于事。所以省省吧。
5. “I don't deserve you.”
我配不上你。
This one
is so sneakily manipulative, because it seems like
it's about how you, as
the person being
dropped, are an
untouchable
god among men (which, maybe you are!)
but
in
reality
it's
about
how
the
other
person
is
working
through
a
martyr
complex.
It might even lead
to the most absurd of scenarios, in which the
dumpee actually
comforts the dumper! We
would never condemn insecurity, but if a person is
truly
interested in pursuing a
relationship with someone who intimidates them,
they’ll
just do what everyone else does
(i.e., lie about how smart/funny/interesting they
are until they reach a level of comfort
at which they can drop it).
这句话其实暗含玄机，<
/p>
这看起来说的是你——被甩的人——是多么的遥不可及，
如神般存
在
（也许你真的是这样！）
但实际上，
只是别人用来脱身的妙招罢了。这还可能会出现最荒唐
的情景，
被抛弃的人反过来安慰抛弃者！
我们从来不会怪责无安全感，
但
如果一个人真的认
真去追求那个让他魂牵梦绕的另一半，他们做的和一般人无差（比如，
把自己夸的多聪明
/
有趣
/
有意思，直到他们觉得火候已到才会展现出真实模样。）
6. “I'm just really busy right
now.”
我现在太忙了。
Nobody who was ever genuinely
interested in someone, and in carrying out a
relationship
with
that
person,
lost
interest
because
he
or
she
had
too
many
meetings
that
week.
“I'm
too
busy”
is
an
often
aggravating,
self
-important
way
of
expressing
something
that
isn't
wrong
or
illegitimate
to
feel
—
if
you'd
rather
not
spend
any
of your free time with someone, that's
OK and good to know. But that's about the
person, not about the other
obligations. Also: Literally everyone thinks
they're
really busy right now.
< br>没有一个真正喜欢别人并且发展着一段恋情的人，
会因为这周有太多会议而对
TA
失去兴趣。
“我太忙了”就是用这种恼
人且自尊自大的方式来表达事情没出问题，
感觉没有变化——如
果你空闲时间都不愿意和某人相处，
没问题，
知道更好。
这毕竟跟人有关，
而非别的因素所
迫。另外：
每个人都会觉得自己现在很忙啊。
7. “I'm just
bad at this stuff.”
我不擅长处理感情的事。
This
is one of many self-pitying breakup cliches that
sound like admissions of
personal
failure, but aren't
—
a close cousin of “I'm so fucked up
right now,”
“I'm just bad at this
stuff” romanticizes flaws like inability to
communicate,
manage one's time, and
treat other people with respect. It's one thing to
realize
you've got some things you want
to work on, alone, but it's another to use that
recognition
as
a
free
pass
to
flail
around
helplessly.
Being
“bad
at
stuff”
isn't
just
about
the
person
who
says
it
—
it
also
affects
the
person
who
has
to
deal
with
it.
分手的时候这算是最常听见的陈词滥调之一，
好像是对自己人生失败的一种总结，
实际不是
—
—这句话的姊妹篇就是“我现在真的心力交瘁”，“我不擅长处理感情问题” 把那些不
善交际、
无法合理安排时间、
不懂尊重别人等等缺点给美化了。
意识到自己有想做的事情是
一回事，
同
时，
把这句话当成是可以不负责任的说辞是另外一回事。
“不擅
长处理感情”
已
经跟说这话的人无关了——也会影响那个跟你在一起的人啊。
8. “I still care about you.”
我还是关心你的。
This
one
very
much
DEPENDS,
of
course,
but
saying
TOO
many
nice
or
seemingly
romantic
things during a
breakup can be confusing. Compliments don't soften
the blow, they
twist
the
knife.
If
you
extoll
the
other
person's
virtues
for
too
long,
in
too
much
depth, they're bound to wonder why,
then, you don't want to be together. It's
obviously
OK
to
hope
you
can
make
peace
with
an
ex,
but
don't
throw
out
the
“I
still
care
about
you”
line
just
because
you
think
it'll
make
a
breakup
easier
to
swallow.
这句话要分情况，
当然，
在分手的时候说太多好听的话或者浪漫的话会让人误会。
赞美也无
法缓解分手之痛，
赞美只是把
刀弄的没有那么锋利罢了。
如果你一直大肆赞美对方，
对方不<
/p>
禁会想为什么你不愿意在一起了呢。当然你跟前任做朋友也完全没问题，但不要丢下诸如<
/p>
“我还是关心你的”
这样的话，哪怕你觉得这话说出来能减轻分手的痛苦。
9.
“I just wish we'd met a few years from
now.”
我真希望我们早几年遇到就好了。
And
we
wish
teleportation
were
real,
and
that
it
was
eating
brownies
and
not
celery
that
burned
more
calories
than
those
ingested,
and
that
Lance
Bass
had
been
allowed
to go to space. But
what would the world be like if any of those
things were true?
We will never know!!!
Just like we don't know what it means to wish
“we'd met a
few
years from
now.” Why are you so convinced you'll have your
shit together by
then? That seems
overly optimistic.
我们也希望能瞬间移动，
吃布朗宁的时候会消耗而非吸收更多的卡路里，
兰斯·贝斯被允许
< br>进入太空。
如果我们希望的都能实现，
这个世界会变成什
么模样？我们永远也不会知道！
就
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