-
经典英文笑话集锦
(
双语对照
< br>)
经典英文笑话集锦
(
双语对照
)
A man goes to
church and starts talking to God. He says:
dollars to you?
years to
you?
and God says
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话
.
他问
:
主啊
,
一百万美元对你意味着多少
?
上帝回答
:
一便
士
.
男子又问
:
那一百万年呢
?
上帝说
:
一秒钟
.
最后男子请求道
:
上帝
,
我能得到一便士
吗
?
上帝回答
:
过一秒钟
.
Four best friends met
at the hospital since their wives were giving
births to their
babies.
The
nurse
comes
up
to
the
first
man
and
says,
you
got
twins.
The
man
said
strange,
I'm
the
manager
of
Minnesota
Twins.
After
awhile
the
nurse
comes
up
to
the
second
man
and
says,
you
got
triplets.
Man
was
like
strange
I
worked
as
a
director
for
the
musketeers.
the hotel
jumping all over the place, cursing God
and banging his head on the wall. They asked
him what's wrong and he answered,
四个好朋友在医院里碰面了
,
他们的妻子正在生产
.
护士过来对第一个男人
说
:
恭喜
,
你
得
了双胞胎
.
男人说
< br>:
多奇怪呀
,
我是明尼苏达双子
队的经理
.
过了一会儿
,
护士过来对第二个
男人说
:
恭喜
,
你得了三胞胎
.
男人很喜欢
:
嗯
,
又巧了
.
我是
3M
公司的董事
.
最后
,
护士跑来
对第三个男人说
:
恭喜
,
你得了
2
对双胞胎
.
男人很开心地说
:
真令人啼笑皆非
,
我为四季宾馆
工作
.
他们三个都很高兴
,
但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁
,
咒骂上帝并用头撞墙
.
他们问他
有什么不对劲
,
他回答道
:
什么不对劲
?
我可是在七喜公司工作呀
!
呵呵
,
一个比一个
效率高
.
Osama Bin
Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking
down the street
when they saw a golden
lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and
said,
grant each one a wish that’s 3
together.
will be a farmer so I want the
soil in Canada to be forever
fertile.
magic words and the wish came
true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall
around
Afghanistan
the
genie
said
the
magic
words
and
again
the
wish
came
true.
President Bush said
thick
and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and
nothing can get out.
said,” Wow! That’s
a big bridge...Fill it with water!!!
拉登
,
一加
拿大人还有布什总统走在大街上看到一盏金色的灯
.
他们擦了擦
灯出现了一个
精灵
.
精灵说
:
我要满足你们每人一个愿望总共三个
.
加拿大人说
:
我是个父亲我儿子将成为
农夫
,
因此我想让加拿大的土地永远肥沃
.
精灵说了咒语愿望实现了
.
拉登看了很惊奇
,
他希望
有座
城墙围绕阿富汗
.
精灵又说了咒语愿望又实现了
.
布什总统问
:
精灵请告诉我
关于这座墙
- 1 -
经典英文笑话集锦
(
双语对照
)
的事情
.
精灵回答
:
墙厚
50
英尺
,
高
500
英尺
,
因而里面的任何东西出不来外面的任何东西进
不去
.
布什总统说
:
哇
!<
/p>
那是座大桥耶
...
注满水
!!!
My Baby Swallowed a
Bullet
Young Mother:
Doctor:
Notes
1. to swallow a
bullet:
吞下一颗子弹
2.
to point at:
对
...
瞄准
个中意味自己体会吧
:)
Allybaby
Once two hunters went hunting in the
forest. One of them suddenly fell down by
accident. He showed the whites of his
eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The
other hunter soon took out his mobile
phone to call the emergency center for help.
The operator said calmly:
the
operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the
phone and next he heard the
hunter
asking:
两个猎人进森林里
打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一个猎
人赶紧拿出手机拨通
紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说：
“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死
< br>亡。
”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：
“第二步怎办？”
fool_fox
标题：
I'm the boss
内容：
The boss was complaining
in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't
getting any respect. Later that morning
he went to a local card and novelty shop and
bought
a
small
sign
that
read,
the
Boss
He
then
taped
it
to
his
office
that
day when he returned from lunch, he found that
someone had taped a
note to the sign
that said.
note:staff
meeting:
员工会议
再来一个：
Wife's picture
A businessman enters a tavern, sits
down at the bar, and orders a double martini
on the rocks.
After he
finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt
pocket, then he orders the
bartender to
prepare another double martini. After he finishes
that one, he again
peeks
inside
his
shirt
pocket
and
orders
the
bartender
to
bring
another
double
martini.
The bartender says,
to tell
me why you look inside your shirt pocket before
you order a refill.
The customer
replies,
good, then I know it's time to
go home.
- 2 -
经典
英文笑话集锦
(
双语对照
)
note:tavern
酒馆
,
客栈
martini
马提尼酒
peek/pi;k/
n.
一瞥
,
匆忙看过
v.
偷看
本
文
地
址
:/w_show/38/w_,
转
载
请
保
留
(
)
1.A man goes to church and starts
talking to God. He says:
million
dollars to you?
what is a million years
to you?
< br>一男子进入教堂和上帝对话
.
他问
:
主啊
,
一百万美元对你意味着多
少
?
上帝回
答
:
一便士
.
男子又问
< br>:
那一百万年呢
?
上帝说
:
一秒钟
.
最后男子
请求道
:
上帝
,
我能得到一便士吗
?
上帝回答
:
过一秒钟
.
Bin Laden, a
Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the
street when they saw a golden lamp.
They rubbed it and a genie came out and
said,
er.
a father
and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in
Canada to be forever
fertile.
looked amazed so he
wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie
said the
magic words and again the wish
came true. President Bush said
me more
about this wall,
nothing can get in and
nothing can get out.
a big bridge...Fill
it with water!!!
拉登
,
一加拿大人还有布什总统走在大街上看到一盏金色的
灯
.
他们擦了擦灯出现
了一个精灵
.
精灵说
:
我要满
足你们每人一个愿望总共三个
.
加拿大人说
:
我是个
父亲我儿子将成为农夫
,
因此我想让加拿大的土地永远肥沃
.
精
灵说了咒语愿望
实现了
.
拉登看了很惊
奇
,
他希望有座城墙围绕阿富汗
.
精灵又说了咒语愿望又实
现了
.
布什总统问
:
精灵请告诉我关于这座墙的事情
.
精灵回答
:
墙厚
50
英尺
,
高
500
英尺
,
因而里面的任何东西出不来外面的任何东西进不去
.
布什总统说
:
哇
!
那
是座大桥耶
...
注满水
< br>!!!
two hunters went
hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell
down
by accident. He showed the whites
of his eyes and seemed to have ceased
breathing. The other hunter soon took
out his mobile phone to call the
emergency center for help. The operator
said calmly:
sure that he is already
dead.
other end of the phone and next he
heard the hunter
asking:
next?
- 3 -
经典英文笑话集锦
(
双语对照
)
两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个
猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另
一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。
接线员沉着地说：
“
第一步，要先确
定
你的朋友已经死亡。
”
于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然
后听到那猎人
接着问：
“
第二步怎办？
”
me take it down
An elephant said to a mouse
,
useless thing that Ihave e ver seen
.
I
know.
为我所用
一头大象对一只小老鼠说：
“
你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的
东西。
”
“
请再说一遍，让我把它记下来。
”
老鼠说。
“
我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。
ng Flower In Rain
Tom:Why doyou have that watering can?
Dan:I'm going
to water the flowers.
Tom:But it'd raining.
Dan:That's OK.I'm wear-ing
my raincoat.
雨天浇花
汤姆：你拿喷壶做什么？
丹：我要去浇花。
汤姆：可是，在下雨呀！
丹：没关系，我穿着雨衣呢！
How are you?
(
怎么是你？）
How old are
you?
（怎么老是你？）
Money is not everything. There's
Mastercard & Visa.
钞票不是万能的<
/p>
,
有时还需要信用卡
.
One should love
animals. They are so tasty.
每个人都应该热爱动物
,
因为它们很好吃
.
- 4 -
经典英文笑话集锦
(
双语对照
)
Save water. Shower with
your girlfriend.
要节约用水
,
尽量和女友一起洗澡
.
Love the
neighbor. But don't get caught.
要用心去爱你的邻居
,
不过不要让她的老公知道
.
Behind every successful man, there is a
woman. And behind every
unsuccessful
man, there are two.
每个成功男人的
背后
,
都有一个女人
.
每个不成功男人的背后
,
都有两
个
.
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
life.
再快乐的单身汉迟早也
会结婚
,
幸福不是永久的嘛
.
The wise never
marry, And when they marry they become otherwise.
聪明人都是未婚的
,
结婚的人很难再聪明起来
.
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
成功是一个相关名词
,
他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚（联
系）
.
Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.
不要等明天交不上差再找借口
,
今天就要找好
.
Love is photogenic. It
needs darkness to develop.
爱情就象照片
,
需要大量的暗房时间来培养
.
（老外也保守，要摸黑办
事，哈哈）
Children in backseats cause
accidents. Accidents in backseats cause
children.
后排座位上的小孩会生出意外
,
后排座位上的意外会生出小孩
.
- 5
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