-
知道
FML
什么意思吗？哈哈，能看完算你
NB
！
最近在有些论坛上经常会流传这么一个缩写
FML
，
可能很多人还不知道这到底是个什么
< br>意思是什么英文单词的缩写。
其实
FML
的意思是
Fuck My Life
，翻译成中文就是
我操蛋
的人生，通俗的说法就是中文的我操。其实起因是因为国外有个类似中国分享秘密
的网
站，上面都是网友写的自己生活中遇到的糗事或者操蛋的事情。现在给大家精选一些
让
大家一起乐乐！
Today, I received my passport in the
mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked
up my
birth certificate that I had sent
in with the application. Turns out my parents have
been
celebrating my birthday on the
wrong day for 16 years. FML
今天，我在邮箱里收到了我的护照
。他们把我的生日搞错了。然后我找到了我一起
送去申请护照的出生证明。结果我发现我
的父母
16
年来一直在错误的一天给我过生日。
FML
Today, I was sitting in class and I
fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing
sweatpants
and had an erection. My
teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She
thought it was my
phone. FML
今天，
我在上课的时候睡觉。我的
JJ
石更了，而且我穿的是很宽松的
裤子。我的老
师走了过来一把抓住了我的
JJ
< br>——
她以为那是我手机。
FML
Today, I heard my sister masturbating
in her room. I took the dog around the block to
get
out of the house, and I came back
to see her leaving her room. my electric
toothbrush in her
hand. FML
今天，我听见了我的姐姐在她的房
间里面
ZW
。为了逃出去，我带着狗出去遛了遛。
我回来的时候正巧碰见她出来，手里拿的东西是
——
我的电动牙刷。
FML
Today, this really
attractive woman that I've known for years told me
that when I can
have sex with her
standing up, she'll have sex with me. I'm confined
to a wheelchair. FML
今天，一个我认识了很久的很性感的女人跟我说，如果我能站
着和她做，她就和我
做。我残疾坐轮椅。
FML
Today, I was having sex with my
boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he
screamed
今天，
我在和我的男朋友
OOXX
。
当他要丢了的时候，
< br>他突然声嘶力竭地大喊
“
太棒
了
Brittany
！！
”
我的名字不是
ny
是他的妹妹。
FML
Today, my boss
called me into his office to show me the web site
of a potential business
partner. When
he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-
completed his search with his
recent
search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on
business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a
young guy. FML
今天，我老板叫我去他的办公室，要给我看一个可能成为我们
的商业伙伴的公司的
网站。当他在谷歌里面打
“Virgini
a”
这个词的时候，网站把他的搜索自动补完成了他最近
才搜索
过的词条
——“
小处男的菊花
”
。
我明天就要和他一起出差。
我是个年轻男人
。
FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend
to come over for dinner because I had some big
news. He
said he did too, and came
over. After stuffing his face full of food, he
broke up with me and
said he'd re-
enlisted into the marines, leaving in two weeks. I
was going to tell him i'm 9
weeks
pregnant. FML
今天，我让我男朋友来我家吃饭因为我有个大消息要告诉他。他说他也有个大消息
要告诉我。在他吃得差不多的时候，他说要和我分手因为他两个星期以后就要去海军陆
战队报道了。我准备告诉他我已经怀孕
9
个星期
了。
FML
Today, I found out that I'm
pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to
have a baby
for a while, and I was very
excited to tell him the news. When I opened his
office planning to
surprise him with
the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML
今天，
我发现我怀孕了。我已经和老公试了很长时间，所以我等不及要把这个好消
息告诉他。<
/p>
当我推开他的办公室的门准备给他一个惊喜时，
我看到他和一个男
的在亲热。
FML
Today, my daughter asked me
when was the first time I had sex. After I told
her 22 she
quickly shouted,
今天，我的女儿问我我是什么时候
破处的。当我告诉她是
22
岁时，她立马大喊道：
“
我赢喽！！
”
她今年才<
/p>
13
。
FML
/?563
还有很多很多，有兴趣，就贴吧！
< br>
[
本帖最后由
礼拜四
于
09-08-13 21:09
编辑
]
<
/p>
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3
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礼拜四
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2
楼
发表于
2009-8-13
19:19
Today, my husband of
9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that
he was only able to achieve erections
because I looked like a man. FML
今天，我结婚
9
年的老公告诉我说他是搞基的。他甚至还暗示
我说，
他和我在一起的时候能硬起来，
是因为我长得比较爷们。
FML
Today I noticed that my daughter was
making funny noises which
oddly
resembled sex sounds my wife makes. When I asked
her what she
was doing she said
on a business trip last night. FML
今天，
我发现我女儿在模仿很奇怪的、
听起来像我老婆在
OOXX
时发出的声音。
当我问她你在干嘛的时候她
说
“
我在学我妈咪昨晚的
声音
”
。我昨晚出差。
FML
Today, my wife is divorcing me because
she wants to party more
with her
friends alone. One year ago, I followed her to
Norway, where
her family lives. I left
my friends, family and job opportunities (which
were very good) in order to live with
her. Now I am shoveling shit on a
horse
farm. FML
今天，
我老婆要和我离婚因为她想和她的狐朋狗友们多玩一玩。
一年前，我跟着她来到了她老家挪威。我离开了我的朋友，家庭和
一份很
好的工作，
就是为了和她一起住。
现在我
TMD
在一个马场铲
马粪。
FML
Today, I got a call from the hospital
that my fiance was in the ER.
When I
arrived at the hospital they told me that he had a
heart attack
while having sex. FML
今天，
我接到一个电话说我的未婚夫被送进了急救室。当我赶
到急救室的时候，
他们告诉我说原因是他在和某人
OOXX
的时候心
脏病发作了。
FML
Today, my first girlfriend of over 3
years left me for another guy.
She said
she's looking for someone who can financially
provide for her
in the future. The dude
owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical
school. FML
今天，我交往了三年的女友离开了我找了个新男友。她的理由
是她需要找一个可靠的未来的经济后盾。没错那个哥们确实是有一
个卖手机的亭子。但是我就要在医学院就读了。
FML
Today, my
teacher demanded to talk to my dad because she
thought
he wasn't a good enough male
role model because i'd misbehaved. i told
her he had died of cancer in 2005. She
said that my lie was rude,
disgraceful,
and that i should be ashamed, then gave me a
detention. He
actually did die. FML
今天，
我老师要求和我爸谈话因为她认为我爸没给我起到一个
好的榜样作用。
< br>我告诉她我爸在
05
年就死于癌症。
结果她说我的谎
言很粗鲁，没人性，不害臊，然后把我留校了。我爸是真的死了。<
/p>
FML
Today, I had to make a family tree for
one of my classes. When I
was going
through it, I realized that both my parents have
the same last
name. So, I asked them
about it and they told me that they are second
cousins. FML
今天，我有个做张家庭族谱的作业。当我在做的时候，我意识
到我的父母的姓其实是一样的。所以我去问他们这是不是个巧合，
结果他们告诉我说他们实际上是表亲关系。
FML
Today, I bit my
boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my
mouth. Turns out I had just popped a
pimple on his neck. Into my
mouth. FML
今天，
我咬了一下我男友的脖子。我感觉到什么东西流到了我
嘴里。结果我发现我是把他脖子上
的一个大痘子咬破了。掉进了我
嘴里。
FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy for
the first time. We went to
Starbucks
and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we weere
joking
and having a good time.
Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and
said,
今天，
我第一次和这个男生出去约会。我们去了星巴克，聊着
天，很愉快。突然，他把他的手放
到我肚子上说：
“
不久之后，这里
就会
被我的种子灌满
”
。
FML
Today, I decided to take a nap. My
boyfriend gave me some
sleeping pills
but I decided last minute not to take them. I woke
up to my
boyfriend kissing my neck and
unbuttoning my shirt. Without opening
my eyes, I whispered
今天，我打算打个盹。我男朋友给了我一些安眠药但是我最后
没决定吃
。我迷迷糊糊地醒来的时候发现他在亲我的脖子，解开我
的衬衫。我闭着眼睛低语道：<
/p>
“
嗯
……
真是浪
漫。
”
他震惊道：
“
< br>啊。
你醒着呢？！
”FML
Today, I took the bus to work and a
sweet old lady got on after me
and sat
next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and
her head was on
my shoulder. Trying to
be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my
stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a
dead woman lie on me for 30
minutes.
FML
今天，我做公车去上班，后来旁边坐着个慈祥的老奶奶。公车
到一半的时候，她睡着了
，脑袋枕在了我的肩膀上。为了做个好青
年，我在我的车站到之前才轻轻地打算弄醒她。
实际上，这一路上
她根本没在睡觉。也就是说，我让一个死人在我身上躺了
30
分钟。
FML
Today, I
thought I heard my little sister playing on my
brand new
grand piano. Angry, I ran
downstairs to stop her. My parents were
having sex. On my piano. FML
今天，
我以为我听到了我的小妹妹在玩我的新的大钢琴。我十
分生气，跑下楼去制止她。结果我
发现声音的来源是我父母在我的
新钢琴上
OOXX
。
FML
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Davidoff_Pipe
(Thank
s
！
)
白金长老
3
楼
发表于
2009-8-13
19:37
看不懂
我还以为
FML =
福美来咧
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:<
/p>
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Apsaras
(
< br>爱太美，生
活太闷，谁能不折腾
)
支柱会员
4
楼
发表于
2009-8-13
19:41
还有好些呢，继续啊
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在不可名状的地方逗留
既非这里，也非彼处
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法克鱿
5
楼
发表于
2009-8-13
19:41
白银长老
soon, this
will be plump with my seed
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/p>
支持立体导航地图
奥迪全新
MMI
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太阳草
黄金长老
6
楼
发表于
2009-8-13
19:45
FML
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/p>
东风标致将产大嘴
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原型车为欧版
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每克木
7
楼
发表于
2009-8-13
19:51
白金长老
FUCK MY LIFE
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安迪
(
低调
的幸福无
处不在
)
本站元老
8
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发表于
2009-8-13
20:41
共同探讨灌水挣米挖宝
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奋斗