814 The One With The Secret Closet

814 The One With The Secret Closet

door.]

814

神秘的储藏室

怎么了？

[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe walks up to and knocks on Chandler and Monica’s

Monica:

(opens

the

door wearing

a robe,

but

leaves

the chain

on)

Hey, what’s

我把吉他落在你这儿了

.

好，没问题

.

up?

Phoebe:

Well, I left my guitar here again.

Monica:

Oh, okay. No problem.

Phoebe:

Okay. (Monica closes the door, gets the guitar, and then hands it out.)

Monica: Okay.

Phoebe: Oh.

Monica:

Here you go.

Phoebe:

Okay.

Monica: Okay.

好了，给你

.

什么？

你想聊会儿或干什么吗

?

？

你来的时机不对

.

你在和

Chandler...?

对

.

我能为你们弹上一曲吗

?

不

.

Phoebe:

Great! Umm…(Monica closes the door again and Phoebe knocks again.)

嗨

, Pheebs,

干吗呢

?

你问了一个有趣的问题

,

Monica:

What?!

Chandler Bing.

Phoebe:

So do you want to hang out or something?

Monica:

Phoebe! You kinda caught me at a bad time.

Phoebe:

Oh are you and Chandler…

Monica:

Yes! Exactly.

Phoebe:

Okay. Do you guys want me to play for you?

Monica:

(laughs) No. (Closes the door as Chandler walks up.)

Chandler:

Hey Pheebs, what’s up?

Phoebe:

You ask an intriguing question Chandler Bing.

噢

,

天哪

!

你在按摩

?

你从来都没有让我帮你按摩

.

Phoebe,

我可以解释

.

你说你讨厌按摩的

.

买邮票

.

拿干洗的衣服

.

别让

Phoebe

进来

.

进行多久了

?

(Chandler lets her into the apartment and reveals that Monica is getting a massage

这个

, Alexandra

已经

--

她有名字

?

from another woman.)

Phoebe:

Oh my God! You’re getting a massage! Yo

u never let me massage you!!

Phoebe,

别伤心

.

好吧

.

噢

,

太迟了

!

我走了

.

Monica:

Phoebe, I can explain!

Phoebe:

You told me you hate massages!

Chandler:

Buy stamps, pick up dry cleaning…

Don’t

let Phoebe in.

Phoebe:

I can’t believe this! How long as this been going on?

Monica:

Well umm, Alexandra has

been…

Phoebe:

Oh, it has a name?

Monica:

Phoebe, don’t get upset!

Phoebe:

Okay

—Oop!

Too

late!

I’m

leaving!

Come

on

Chandler

let’s

go!

(She

storms out.)

Chandler:

Well,

Phoebe

I

thought

I’d—(Off

Phoebe’s

look)—

Yeah,

what

the

hell. (Exits with Phoebe.)

Opening Credits

[Scene: Joey’s Bedroom, Joey is having a dream about Rachel giving birth with

him as the father.]

Joey:

Oh

okay,

okay!

One

more

push!

One

more

push!

Come

on

honey, we’re

来吧

, Chandler,

我们走

.

哦

,

我想我要

....

好吧

,

该死

.

再用力

.

来吧

,

我们快成功了

.

我很高兴我们之间有感情产生

,

我们就要有宝宝了

.

我爱你

.

我也爱你

.

我希望现在不是一个不适合的时间说

...

< br>...

但是你是我所遇到的最好的性伴侣

.

这在什么时候说都合适

.

好，来

.

用力，再用力

好了

.

你们漂亮的宝宝

.

恭喜

.

almost there! We’re almost there!

Rachel:

Oh Joey, I’m so happy things worked out for us that we’re having this

希望你做爸爸比做朋友更成功

!

baby together. I love you so much.

Joey:

Oh, I love you too.

Joey!

怎么了？

Rachel:

And I hope it’s not an inappropriate time to say this but, you’re the best

快来摸我的肚子

.

宝宝第一次在踢我

.

sex I ever had.

Joey:

That’s

always

appropriate!

(Back

to

the

matter

at

ha

nd)

Oh,

okay.

One

真的

?

more push! One more push!

是啊

.

(Finally, the baby is delivered and starts crying.)

Doctor:

Oh, here is your beautiful baby. Congratulations!

where the baby’s should

be.)

你知道吗？也许你

--

你最好走过来

.

哦，天那

.

(She

hands

the

baby

to

Joey

who

pulls

down

the

blanket

to

reveal

Ross’s face

我没有穿底裤

.

Ross:

(crying) I hope you’re a better father than you’re a friend!! (Cries again and

不可思议

!

喔，

她踢得真欢

.

Joey wakes up in horror.)

Rachel:

(bursts into the room) Joey! Joey!

Joey:

What? What’s going on?

她像

....

那个恼人的女足球队员是谁来着

?

Mia Hamm?

Rachel:

Come feel this! Come feel my belly!

Mia Hamm!

Joey:

Aaaah…

Rachel:

Joey! The baby is kicking for the first time! Will you please come feel

难以至信

.

this?!

Joey:

Really?!

Rachel: Yes!

提着床单

, Joe.

不好意思

.

嗨，宝贝

.

Bob

和

Faye Bing

送了我们结婚礼物

.

(Joey starts to get up but stops.)

Joey:

Oh, y’know what? Maybe uh, you…you should come to me. I’m a not, I’m

其实他们不喜欢我们

,

对吗

?

谁说

6

块钱不能买到漂亮的潘趣酒杯

?

not wearing any bottoms.

Rachel:

Oh, okay! (She goes over to him and he feels her belly.)

Joey:

Oh my, oh my God!

也许我们应该把它退回去

.

退到哪里

?

Rachel:

Aw,

it’s

unbelievable!

Wow!

She

is

kicking

so

much!

Oh,

she’s

like

大马路上

,

从阳台丢下去

?

umm…oh…who’s that kind of annoying girl soccer player?

何不找个地方放起来

?

Joey:

Mia Hamm?

Rachel:

Mia Hamm!

Joey:

Oh that’s amaz

ing. (Drops the sheet.)

Rachel:

(looking down) Oh- oh!! One hand on the sheet Joe!

Joey:

Whoa-hey-oh! Sorry!

放到那个储藏柜里

?

那是放罐装物品的

.

难道你忘了你从东方带回来的东西

?

那浴室旁边那个小房间呢

?

[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has opened another wedding present as

算了

.

我来吧

.

不

,

我来

.

Chandler enters.]

Chandler:

Hey babe.

你最好休息一下，让我也偶尔做些事

.

Monica:

Hi

honey.

We

just

got

a wedding

gift

from

Bob

and

Faye

Bing;

they

锁上了

.

你要帮我

.

为什么会锁上呢

?

don’t like us do they? (They gave them a pok

-a-dotted punch bowl.)

Chandler:

Who

says

you

can’t

get

a

nice

punch

bowl

for

under

six

bucks?

不为什么

.

我在里面放了些私人物品

.

Maybe we can take it back?

Monica:

No, it doesn’t say where it came from. Whe

re would we return it?

Chandler:

How about to the street say from the balcony?

Monica:

Why don’t we just find a place for it?

Chandler:

Okay. How about in that cabinet?

forgotten everything you learned at orientation?

Chandler:

How about the closet by the bathroom? (The secret green door by the

bathroom.)

Monica:

Oh, okay. Here, why don’t you let me do it?

我住在这里有段时间了

,

我从没有看见里面有什么啊

.

里面有什么

?

女性用品

.

让我觉得不安

!

里面没什么与你有关的

.

假如你爱我的话

,

就让它去吧

.

好吧

.

Monica:

No!

That’s

where

we

keep

the

canned

goods!

Have

you

completely

不要企图借口女性用品

Chandler:

Oh no-no-no, I will do

it. Honey, you have to learn to sit down and

谢谢

.

relax and let your husband take care of things once and awhile. (Tries the door.)

我爱你

.

It’s locked, you have to help me. Why is it locked?

Monica:

No reason. I-I keep private things in there.

inside that closet. What is, what is in there?

Monica:

Feminine stuff.

Chandler:

Don’t try to make me uncomfortable with feminine stuff!

你好

, Chandler.

天气真好

,

是吗

?

你

.

Alexandra

只是帮她按摩了三年而已

< br>.

假如

!

我是说

,

假如还有救

.

为什么不让我帮你按摩

?

Chandler:

Oh y’know, I’ve been living here a while and I’ve never seen what’s

假如能补救的话

,

Monica:

Chandler,

there

is

nothing

in

there

that

concerns

you! If

you

love

me

我有点多虑

.

you-

you’ll let it go.

Chandler: Fine.

Monica:

Thank you! (He tries the door again and Monica glares at him.)

Chandler:

(walking casually away) Love you.

Phoebe:

(entering) Hello Chandler, lovely day huh? (To Monica) You!

你是我的朋友

.

我必须裸体的

.

我们住在一起很多年了

我看过你裸体

.

那不同

.

我们是室友，

什么时候

?

Chandler:

Phoebe if it helps Alexandra has only been massaging Monica for like

我对人体很好奇

.

three years. (Phoebe rolls her eyes and walks away and Monica glares at him.) If!

你应该理解这多古怪啊

.

我可是专业的

I said,

我很不错的

.

Phoebe:

Why won’t you let me massage you?

Monica:

Well it’s…I mean I’d just—I’d be self

-

conscious. You’re my friend; I’d

假如你觉得不舒服，我们可以停啊

.

be naked.

Phoebe:

Monica! We lived together for years! I’ve seen you naked!

Monica:

That’s different, we were roommates! And when?!

给我一次机会

.

求你

?

假如这对你很重要

.

是很重要

.

假如你不能与人分享你 的厨艺，你会怎么

Phoebe:

I’m curious about the human body.

Monica:

Hey, come on Phoebe, you can understand why this would be weird for

想

?

或者说，

me.

Phoebe:

But

I’m

a

professional!

And

I’m

really

good!

Look,

if

you’re < /p>

如果

Ross

不能教我们龙的知识，他会 怎么

想

.

uncomfortable we can stop. Just give me a chance, okay. Please?

是恐龙

.

Monica:

Okay, if it means that much to you…

Phoebe:

It does! How would you feel if you couldn’t share your cooking? Or

-or

马铃薯

,

土豆

.

Ross,

宝宝在踢

.

im

agine how Ross would feel if he couldn’t teach us about dragons.

Monica:

Dinosaurs.

Phoebe:

Potato, potaato.

[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]

Ross:

Hey!

什么

?

真的

?

不是现在啦

.

尽管我们很喜欢你再来一次

.

什么时候

?

到底怎么了

?

昨晚

.

我去了

Joey

的房间

,

Joey:

Hey Ross! The baby’s kicking!

Ross:

What?! It is?! (He tries to

quickly remove his gloves, but runs into trouble

他在睡觉

.

and finally throws them off of his hands like a hockey player in a fight and grabs

没做梦

.

天

,

宝宝踢了

.

Rachel’s belly.)

Rachel:

It’s

not

kicking

right

now.

Although

we

would

love

to

see

you

do

多好

.

(Mimics him) that again.

Ross:

Hey, when- when was it kicking? What happened?

Rachel:

Last

night!

I

just

felt

it

and

I

went

into

Joey’s

room

and

he

was

sleeping…

Joey:

A dreamless sleep.

Ross:

My

God,

the

baby’s

kicking.

That’s

great.

Although

I…kinda

wish

I

-I

would’ve been there to feel the kicking for the first time y’know.

Joey:

Well I got stuff going on in here (Rubbing his belly) if you wanna feel.

Ross:

Look,

I-

I

don’t want

to

miss

anymore

baby

stuff.

So…Here.

Here’s

my

new

pager

number,

okay?

Anytime

anything

pregnancy

related

happens

use

it!

I’ll be there! Okay? I don’t care if it’s three in the morning and all you want is ice

cream.

Joey:

Wow! Can I get a copy of that?

真希望我当时在那里，

感受到这个第一次

.

假如你想感受什么，我这有

.

我不想再错过任何有关宝宝的事

.

这是我的传呼

.

任何时间，任何和怀孕有关的事情

,

发传呼给我

.

即使是夜里

点我也不介意

.

或者你想吃冰淇淋

.

我能抄一下吗

?

你盖好了

?

是的

.

好的，我们开始吧

.

[Scene:

Phoebe's

Apartment,

Monica

is

lying

on

the

massage

table

waiting

for

力道如何

?

刚好

.

哇哦

, Phoebe,

Phoebe.]

Phoebe:

(calling from her room) Are you under the sheet?

Monica: Yes.

(Phoebe turns on some music and grabs some oil.)

你真的很棒

.

显而易见

,

还是要谢谢你

.

这并不古怪

,

对不对

?

Phoebe:

(in a soothing voice) Great, let’s begin. (She starts the massage.) How’s

没错

.

the pressure?

Monica:

Nice! Wow Phoebe you are good!

Phoebe:

Stating the obvious, bu

t thank you. And it’s not weird is it.

Monica:

No. Ooohh…

Phoebe:

That’s right, you just enjoy.

Monica:

(in a sexy voice) Oh. Oh yeah! Ohhhhh! Ohh! Oh yeah!

对

,

你只需要享受它

.

哦

,

耶

!

哦

,

耶

!

好了

.

Oh,

天

, Phoebe!

就是这样

!

对

,

就是那里

!

我没有要开你的储藏室< /p>

,

我发誓

.

Phoebe:

(getting uncomfortable) Okay.

Monica:

Oh God Phoebe!! (Phoebe covers one ear.) Oh that’s it! That’s it! Right

Monica

把一切都弄的很妥当

,

there! Oh! (Tries to cover the other ear.) Ooooh-oooh-

ooooh… (Covers both ears

对吧

?

你在干吗

Monica

有一个秘密的储藏室

.

and continues the massage with her elbows.)

[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler has a box of keys and is trying them on

她不想让我看

.

为什么不

?

the secret closet when someone enters.]

Chandler:

I

wasn’t

trying

to

open

your

closet!

I

wasn’t

trying

to

open

your

我不知道

!

她藏了什么

?

closet! I swear! (Running into the kitchen and sees its Joey.)

Joey:

Whoa, Monica runs a pretty tight ship over here. What are you doing?

Chandler:

Monica has a secret close

t and she won’t let me see what’s in it.

Joey:

Why not?

不知道

.

我打赌里面是

Richard.

她为 什么要把

Richard

藏里面

?

突发奇想

...

Chandler:

I don’t know! What could she possibly be hiding

in here that I can’t

...

也许她正拿着她的蛋糕，而且正在吃

.

你就是 那个

“

蛋糕

”

see?!

Richard

就是那 个

“

而且

”

Joey:

I don’t know. Ooh, I bet it’s Richard.

或者

....

Chandler:

Why would Monica be keeping Richard in here?

Joey:

Well off

the top of my head uhh, maybe she’s having her cake and eating it

得了

.

too. You being the cake and Richard being the too. Or!

Chandler:

And here we go…

我曾看过一部电影里面有这样一道门

.

谁也不知道里面藏了什么

.

Joey:

I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was

最后当他们打开它的时候

,

behind it, and when they finally

got it open millions and millions and millions of

成千上万的虫子涌出来

...

bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Y’know it wouldn’t kill

...

他们吞噬着人肉

!

ya

to

respect

your wife’s

privacy!

(He

walks

away

and

into

his

apartment

and

尊重你老婆的隐私又不会杀了你

!

looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!

愚蠢的满屋子的虫

!

Rachel:

Joey. Joey, something feels weird and not good weird. I don’t—

Whoa!!

Joey,

有些事感觉很古怪，

而且是不好的那种

.

我没

--

(Winces in pain.)

Joey:

Oh

hey whoa-

whoa,

don’t worry.

Okay.

When my sisters

were

pregnant

我姐姐怀孕的时候

...

...

他们也曾有古怪的感觉，

they got every weird feeling in the book, it was always nothing.

Rachel:

Really?

Joey:

Absolutely.

But

, we’re gonna stop by the hospital just to be sure, okay? I’ll

page Ross on the way. Come on.

Rachel:

Okay. Oh God

< br>—

Ow!

—

Oo!

trust

me.

Okay.

Take

my

hand.

Here

we

go.

(Rachel

grabs

his

hand.)

Oww

crushing bones!

[Scene: The Hospital, Joey is in the waiting room as Rachel comes back out with

the doctor.]

可最后总是没事

.

真的

?

白分之百

.

但是我们还是要到医院确认一下，

Rach,

看着我

.

会好的

.

相信我

.

拉着我的手

.

我们走

.

骨头要碎啦

!

我们去医院正好

.

Joey:

Okay Rach- Rach-

Rach look at me, look at me, everything’s gonna be fine,

我来给

< br>Ross

留话

.

怎样？

Joey:

Hey! So?

Dr.

Long:

She’s

fine.

She’s

experiencing

Braxton

-Hicks

contractions,

mild

她很好

.

她是有点希氏阵痛

.

discomfort caused by contractions in the uterine wall.

Rachel:

Hmm,

mild

discomfort.

So I

take

it

you’ve

had

one

of

these

Braxton

子宫壁轻度不适

.

thingies?

Joey:

So but everything is normal.

Dr. Long:

Absolutely.

Joey:

And-

and there’s no danger to her and the baby?

轻度不适

?

你要不要试试这个阵痛

?

一切正常

?

是的

.