-
U11
Julius
heard
a
rumor
that
his
father,
grandfather
and
great-
grandfather had
all
walked
on
water
on
their
21st birthdays.
So,
on
his
21st birthday, Julius
and his good friend Brian headed out to the lake.
they did it, I can too!
When
Julius
and
Brian
arrived
at
the
lake,
they
rented
a
boat
and
began paddling. When
they got to the middle of the lake, Julius stepped
off the side of the boat ... and almost
drowned.
Furious
and
somewhat
shamed,
he
and
Brian
headed
for
home.
When Julius arrived back at the family
farm, he asked his grandmother
for an
explanation.
and his father, and his
father before him?
The feeble old
grandmother took Julius by the hands, looked into
his
eyes, and explained,
grandfather were born in January ...
you were born in July, dear.
U 12
Speed in the Supermarket
An
American housewife was pushing her basket of
shopping through
a supermarket with one
hand. With her other hand she was holding on to
her
small
children.
She
arrived
at
the
checkout
counter
and
thought:
Twenty seconds? Yes. A new
machine is helping customers in a hurry.
An electronic system
each
tin,
box
or
bottle.
These
little
lines
give
the
computer
all
the
information it needs --
the kind of product, the price and the tax. The
girl
at the counter simply moves the
groceries along in front of the
the
machine. And the bill is ready in no time.
Most people are very pleased with this
new idea. The machines
--
now
in
20
supermarkets
in
the
United
States
--
save
a
lot
of
time
and
money. And they don't
make as many mistakes as people. Some shoppers,
however, are complaining. They can't
read the price of the food on a tin
when all they can see is little black
and white lines. The prices are on the
shelves
but
they
want
them
on
each
tin.
Many
people
aren't
sure
that
machines are honest shopkeepers! The
new machines are very expensive.
But
everyone, even these worded shoppers, will be
happy if, in the end,
they bring food
prices down.
U13
Bill, Jim
and Scott were at a convention together and were
sharing a
large
suite
on
the
top
of
a
75-story
skyscraper.
After
a
long
day
of
meetings, they were
shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel
were
broken and they would have to
climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their
room.
Bill
said
to
Jim
and
Scott,
break
the
monotony
of
this
unpleasant task by
concentrating on something interesting, I'11 tell
jokes
for 25 flights, Jim can sing
songs for the next 25 flights and Scott can tell
sad stories for the rest of the
way.
At the 26th floor, Bill stopped
telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At
the 51st floor Jim stopped singing and
Scott began to tell sad stories.
“I
will tell my saddest story first,” he said. “I
left the room key in the
car!
”
Unit 10
After a
long two-week criminal trial in a high profile
bank robbery case,
the
jury
finally
ended
its14
hours
of
deliberations
and
entered
the
courtroom to deliver its verdict to the
judges.
The judge turned to the
jury foreman and asked,
a verdict in
this case?
for the bailiff to retrieve the verdict
slip from the foreman and deliver it to
him.
After the judge
read the verdict himself, he delivered the verdict
slip
back
to
his
bailiff
to
be
returned
to
the
foreman
and
instructed
the
foreman,
“we
find
the
defendant
NOT
GUILTY
of
all
four
counts
of
bank
robbery,”
stated
the
foreman.
The
family
and
friends
of
the
defendant
jumped for joy at
the sound of the
other
as
they
shouted
expressions
of
divine
gratitude.
The
defendant's
attorney
turned
to
his
client
and
asked,
what
do
you
think
about
that?
The
defendant
looked
around
the
courtroom
slowly
with
a
bewildered
look on his face and then turned to his defense
attorney and
said,
real
confused
here.
Does
this
mean
that
I
have
to
return
the
money?