Why we have too few women leaders

Why we have too few women leaders

So

for

any

of

us

in

this

room

today,

let's

start

out

by

admitting

we're lucky. We don't live in the world our mothers lived in,

our

grandmothers

lived

in,

where

career

choices

for

women

were

so limited. And if you're in this room today, most of us grew

up in a world where we had basic civil rights. And amazingly,

we

still

live

in

a

world

where

some

women

don't

have

them.

But

all

that

aside,

we

still

have

a

problem,

and

it's

a

real

problem.

And the problem is this: women are not making it to the top

of any profession anywhere in the world. The numbers tell the

story quite clearly. 190 heads of state -- nine are women. Of

all

the

people

in

parliament

in

the

world,

13

percent

are

women.

In

the

corporate

sector,

women

at

the

top,

C-level

jobs,

board

seats

--

tops

out

at

15,

16

percent.

The

numbers

have

not

moved

since 2002 and are going in the wrong direction. And even in

the non-profit world, a world we sometimes think of as being

led by more women, women at the top: 20 percent.

We also have another problem, which is that women face harder

choices

between

professional

success

and

personal

fulfillment.

A recent study in the U.S. showed that, of married senior

managers, two-thirds of the married men had children

and only

one-third

of

the

married

women

had

children.

A

couple

of

years

ago, I was in New York, and I was pitching a deal, and I was

in one of those fancy New York private equity offices you can

picture. And I'm in the meeting -- it's about a three-hour

meeting -- and two hours in, there kind of needs to be that

bio

break,

and

everyone

stands

up,

and

the

partner

running

the

meeting starts looking really embarrassed. And I realized he

doesn't

know

where

the

women's

room

is

in

his

office.

So

I

start

looking around for moving boxes, figuring

they

just moved in,

but I don't see any. And so I said,

this

office?

And

he

said,

we've

been

here

about

a

year.

And I said,

have pitched a deal in this office in a year?

at me, and he said,

had to go to the bathroom.

So the question is, how are we going to fix this? How do we

change

these

numbers

at

the

top?

How

do

we

make

this

different?

I

want

to

start

out

by

saying,

I

talk

about

this

--

about

keeping

women in the workforce -- because I really think that's the

answer.

In

the

high-income

part

of

our

workforce,

in

the

people

who

end

up

at

the

top

--

Fortune

500

CEO

jobs,

or

the

equivalent

in other industries -- the problem, I am convinced, is that

women are dropping out. Now people talk about this a lot, and

they talk about things like flex time and mentoring and

programs companies should have to train women. I want to talk

about none of that today -- even though that's all really

important. Today I want to focus on what we can do as

individuals. What are the messages

we need

to tell ourselves?

What

are

the

messages

we

tell

the

women

that

work

with

and

for

us? What are the messages we tell our daughters?

Now at the outset, I want to be very clear that this speech

comes

with

no

judgments.

I

don't

have

the

right

answer;

I

don't

even have it for myself. I left San Francisco, where I live,

on

Monday,

and

I

was

getting

on

the

plane

for

this conference.

And my daughter, who's three, when I dropped her off at

preschool, did that whole hugging the leg, crying,

don't get on the plane,

sometimes.

I

know

no

women,

whether

they're

at

home,

or

whether

they're in the workforce, that don't feel that sometimes. So

I'm

not

saying

that

staying

in

the

workforce

is

the

right

thing

for everyone.

My talk today is about

what the messages are if you do want

to stay in the workforce. And I think there are

three

. One,

sit at the table. Two, make your partner a real partner. And

three -- don't leave before you leave.

Number one: sit at the

table. Just a couple weeks ago at Facebook, we hosted a very

senior

government

official,

and

he

came

in

to

meet

with

senior

execs from around Silicon Valley. And everyone kind of sat at

the table. And then he had these two women who were traveling

with him who were pretty senior in his department. And I kind

of

said

to

them,

at

the

table.

Come

on,

sit

at

the

table.

And they sat on the side of the room. When I was in college

my senior year, I took a course called European Intellectual

History.

Don't

you

love

that

kind

of

thing

from

college.

I

wish

I could do that now. And I took it with my roommate, Carrie,

who was then a brilliant literary student -- and went on to

be

a

brilliant

literary

scholar

--

and

my

brother

--

smart

guy,

but a water polo playing pre-med, who was a sophomore.

The

three

of

us

take

this

class

together.

And

then

Carrie

reads

all the books in the original Greek and Latin -- goes to all

the lectures -- I

read all the books in English and go to most

of

the

lectures.

My

brother

is

kind

of

busy;

he

reads

one

book

of 12 and goes to a couple of lectures, marches himself up to

our

room

a

couple

days

before

the

exam

to get

himself

tutored.

The three of us go to the exam together, and we sit down. And

we sit there for three hours -- and our little blue notebooks

--

yes,

I'm

that

old.

And

we

walk

out,

and

we

look

at

each

other,

and we say,

like I didn't really draw out the main point on the Hegelian

dialectic.

connected John Locke's theory of property with the

philosophers

that

follow.

And

my

brother

says,

got

the

top

grade in the class.

don't know anything.

The

problem

with

these

stories

is

that

they

show

what

the

data

shows: women systematically underestimate their own

abilities. If you test men and women, and you ask them

questions on totally objective criteria like GPA's, men get

it wrong slightly high, and women get it wrong slightly low.

Women

do

not

negotiate

for

themselves

in

the

workforce.

A

study

in the last two years of people entering the workforce out of

college showed that 57 percent of boys entering -- or men, I

guess -- are negotiating their first salary, and only seven

percent of women. And most importantly, men attribute their

success

to

themselves,

and

women

attribute

it

to

other

external

factors. If you ask men why they did a good job, they'll say,

women why they did a good job, what they'll say is someone

helped

them,

they

got

lucky,

they

worked

really

hard. Why

does

this matter? Boy, it matters a lot because no one gets to the

corner office by sitting on the side, not at the table. And

no

one

gets

the

promotion

if

they

don't

think

they

deserve

their

success, or they don't even understand their own success.

I wish the answer were easy. I wish I could just go tell all

the

young

women

I

work

with,

all

these

fabulous

women,

in

yourself

and

negotiate

for

yourself.

Own

your

own

success.

I

wish

I

could

tell

that

to

my

daughter.

But

it's

not

that

simple.

Because what the data shows, above all else, is one thing --

which

is

that success

and

likability

are

positively

correlated

for men and negatively correlated for women. And everyone's

nodding, because we all know this to be true.

There's a really good study that shows this really well.

There's

a

famous

Harvard

Business

School

study

on

a

woman

named

Heidi Roizen. And she's an operator in a company in Silicon

Valley, and she uses her contacts to become a very successful

venture capitalist. In 2002 -- not so long ago -- a professor

who was then at Columbia University took that case and made

it Howard Roizen. And he gave case out -- both of them -- to

two groups of students. He changed exactly one word: Heidi to

Howard.

But

that

one

word

made

a

really

big

difference.

He

then

surveyed

the

students.

And

the

good

news

was

the

students,

both

men

and

women,

thought

Heidi

and

Howard

were

equally

competent,

and that's good. The bad news was that everyone liked Howard.

He's a great guy, you want to work for him, you want to spend

the

day

fishing

with

him.

But

Heidi?

Not

so

sure.

She's

a

little

out for herself. She's a little political. You're not sure

you'd want to work for her. This is the complication. We have

to tell our daughters and our colleagues, we have to tell

ourselves

to

believe

we

got

the

A,

to

reach

for

the

promotion,

to sit at the table. And we have to do it in a world where,

for them, there are sacrifices they will make for that, even

though for their brothers, there are not.

The saddest thing about all of this is that it's really hard

to

remember

this.

And

I'm

about

to

tell

a

story

which

is

truly

embarrassing for me, but I think important. I gave this talk

at Facebook not so long ago to about a hundred employees. And

a couple hours later, there was a young woman who works there

sitting outside my little desk, and she wanted to talk to me.

I said, okay, and she sat down, and we talked. And she said,

hand up.

giving

this

talk,

and

you

said

you

were

going

to

take

two

more

questions.

And

I

had

my

hand

up

with

lots

of

other

people,

and

you took two more questions. And I put my hand down, and I

noticed all the women put their hand down, and then you took

more questions, only from the men.

wow, if it's me -- who cares about this, obviously -- giving

this talk -- and during this talk, I can't even notice that

the men's hands are still raised, and the women's hands are

still

raised,

how

good

are

we

as

managers

of

our

companies

and

our organizations at seeing that the men are reaching for

opportunities more than women? We've got to get women to sit

at the table.

Message number two: make your partner a real partner. I've

become

convinced

that

we've

made

more

progress

in

the

workforce

than we have in the home. The data shows this very clearly.

If

a

woman

and

a

man

work

full-time

and

have

a

child,

the

woman

does

twice

the

amount

of

housework

the

man

does,

and

the

woman

does

three

times

the

amount

of

child

care

the

man

does.

So

she's

got three

jobs or

two jobs,

and

he's got

one. Who do

you think

drops out when someone needs to be home more? The causes of

this are really complicated, and I don't have time to go into

them. And I don't think Sunday football watching and general

laziness is the cause.

I think the cause is more complicated. I think, as a society,

we put more pressure on our boys to succeed that we do on our

girls.

I

know

men

that

stay

home

and

work

in

the

home

to

support

wives

with

careers

And

it's

hard. When

I

go

to

the

Mommy-and-Me

stuff and I see the father there, I notice that the other

mommies don't play with him. And that's a problem, because we

have

to

make

it

as

important

a

job --

because

it's

the

hardest

job in the world -- to

work inside the home for people of both

genders if we're going to even things out and let women stay

in

the

workforce.

(Applause)

Studies

show

that

households

with

equal earning and equal responsibility also have half the

divorce rate. And if that wasn't good enough motivation for

everyone

out

there,

they

also

have

more

--

how

shall

I

say

this

on this stage? -- they know each other more in the biblical

sense as well.

Message number three: don't leave before you leave. I think

there's

a

really

deep

irony

to

the

fact

that

actions

women

are

taking -- and I see this all the time -- with the objective

of

staying

in

the

workforce,

actually

lead

to

their

eventually

leaving.

Here's

what

happens:

We're

all

busy;

everyone's

busy;

a woman's busy. And she starts thinking about having a child.

And from the moment she starts thinking about having a child,

she starts thinking about making room for that child.

I going to fit this into everything else I'm doing?

literally

from

that

moment,

she

doesn't

raise

her

hand

anymore,

she doesn't look for a promotion, she doesn't take on the new

project, she doesn't say,

leaning

back.

The

problem

is

that

--

let's

say

she

got

pregnant

that day, that day -- nine months of pregnancy, three months

of maternity leave, six months to catch your breath --

fast-forward two years, more often -- and as I've seen it --

women start thinking about this way earlier -- when they get

engaged,

when

they

get

married,

when

they

start

thinking

about