The modest proposal及其译文

The modest proposal

It is a melancholy object to those who walk through this great town or

travel in the country, when they see the streets, the roads, and cabin

doors, crowded with beggars of

the female sex, followed by three, four

,

or

six

children, all in

rags and importuning every

passenger

for

an

alms. These mothers, instead of being able to work for their honest

livelihood,

are

forced

to

employ

all

their

time

in

strolling

to

beg

sustenance for their helpless infants: who as they grow up either turn

thieves for want of work, or leave their dear native country to fight for

the Pretender in Spain, or sell themselves to the Barbadoes.

I

think

it

is

agreed

by

all

parties

that

this

prodigious

number

of

children in the arms, or on the backs, or at the heels of their mothers,

and frequently of

their fathers,

is in

the present deplorable state

of

the

kingdom a very great additional grievance; and, therefore, whoever

could find out a fair

, cheap, and easy method of making these children

sound, useful members of the commonwealth, would deserve so well

of the public as to have his statue set up for a preserver of the nation.

But my intention is very far from being confined

to provide only for the

children of professed beggars; it is of a much greater extent, and shall

take in the whole number of infants at a certain age who are born of

parents in effect as little able to support them as those who demand

our charity in the streets.

”

I

have

been

assured

by

a

very

knowing

American

of

my

acquaintance

in

London,

that

a

young

healthy

child

well

nursed

is

at

a

year

old

a

most

delicious,

nourishing,

and

wholesome

food,

whether

stewed,

roasted,

baked,

or

boiled ...

”

As to my own part, having turned my thoughts for many years upon

this important subject, and maturely weighed the several schemes of

other projectors, I have always found them grossly mistaken in the

computation.

It is

true,

a

child just

dropped from

its

dam

may

be

supported by her milk for a solar year

, with little other nourishment;

at most not above the value of 2s., which the mother may certainly

get, or the value in scraps, by her lawful occupation of begging; and it

is exactly at one year old that I propose to provide for them in such a

manner as instead of being a charge upon their parents or the parish,

or wanting food and raiment for the rest of their lives, they shall on

the contrary contribute to the feeding, and partly to the clothing, of

many thousands.

There is likewise another great advantage in my scheme, that it will

prevent those voluntary abortions, and that horrid practice of women

murdering

their

bastard

children,

alas!

too

frequent

among

us!

sacrificing the poor innocent babes I doubt more to avoid the expense

than the shame, which would move tears and pity in the most savage

and inhuman breast.

The

number

of

souls

in

this

kingdom

being

usually

reckoned

one

million and

a half, of these I calculate

there may be about

two hundred

thousand

couple

whose

wives

are

breeders;

from

which

number

I

subtract thirty thousand couples who are able to maintain their own

children, although I apprehend there cannot be so many, under the

present distresses of the kingdom; but this being granted, there will

remain an hundred and seventy thousand breeders. I again subtract

fifty thousand for those women who miscarry, or whose children die

by

accident

or

disease

within

the

year

.

There

only

remains

one

hundred and twenty thousand children of poor parents annually born.

The

question

therefore

is,

how

this

number

shall

be

reared

and

provided

for

,

which,

as

I

have

already

said,

under

the

present

situation of affairs, is utterly impossible by all the methods hitherto

proposed. For we can neither employ them in handicraft or agriculture;

we neither build houses (I mean in the country) nor cultivate land:

they can very seldom pick up a livelihood by stealing, till they arrive at

six

years old,

except

where they

are

of

towardly

parts,

although

I

confess they

learn

the

rudiments

much

earlier

,

during

which

time,

they can however be properly looked upon only as probationers, as I

have been informed by a principal gentleman in the county of Cavan,

who protested to me that he never knew above one or two instances

under the age of six, even in a part of the kingdom so renowned for

the quickest proficiency in that art.

I

am assured

by our

merchants, that a

boy

or

a

girl

before twelve

years old is no salable commodity; and even when they come to this

age

they

will

not

yield

above

three

pounds,

or

three

pounds

and

half- a-crown at most on the exchange; which cannot turn to account

either to the parents or kingdom, the charge of nutriment and rags

having been at least four times that value.

I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope

will not be liable to the least objection.

I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance

in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a

most

delicious,

nourishing,

and

wholesome

food,

whether

stewed,

roasted, baked,

or

boiled; and

I

make

no

doubt that it

will

equally

serve in a fricassee or a ragout.

I

do

therefore

humbly

offer

it

to

public

consideration

that

of

the

hundred

and

twenty

thousand

children

already

computed,

twenty

thousand may be reserved for breed, whereof only one-fourth part to

be males; which is more than we allow to sheep, black cattle or swine;

and

my

reason

is,

that

these

children

are

seldom

the

fruits

of

marriage,

a

circumstance

not

much

regarded

by

our

savages,

therefore one male will be sufficient to serve four females. That the

remaining hundred thousand may, at a year old, be offered in the sale

to the

persons

of

quality

and

fortune through the

kingdom; always

advising the mother to let them suck plentifully in the last month, so

as to render them plump and fat for a good table. A child will make

two dishes at an entertainment for friends; and when the family dines

alone,

the

fore

or

hind

quarter

will

make

a

reasonable

dish,

and

seasoned with a little pepper or salt will be very good boiled on the

fourth day, especially in winter

.

I have reckoned upon a medium that a child just

born will weigh 12

pounds,

and

in

a

solar

year

,

if

tolerably

nursed,

increaseth

to

28

pounds.

I grant this food will be somewhat dear

, and therefore very proper for

landlords, who, as they have already devoured most of the parents,

seem to have the best title to the children.

Infant's flesh will be in season throughout the year

, but more plentiful

in

March,

and

a

little

before

and

after;

for

we

are

told

by

a

grave

author

, an eminent

French

physician, that fish

being

a

prolific

diet,

there are more children born in Roman Catholic countries about nine

months after Lent than at any other season; therefore, reckoning a

year after Lent, the markets will be more glutted than usual, because

the number of popish infants is at least three to one in this kingdom:

and therefore it will have one other collateral advantage, by lessening

the number of papists among us.

I have already computed the charge of nursing a beggar's child (in

which

list

I

reckon

all

cottagers,

laborers,

and

four-fifths

of

the

farmers) to be about two shillings per annum, rags included; and I

believe no gentleman would repine to give ten shillings for the carcass

of a

good

fat

child,

which,

as

I

have

said,

will

make

four

dishes of

excellent nutritive meat, when he hath only some particular friend or

his own family to dine with him. Thus the squire will learn to be a good

landlord, and grow popular among his tenants; the mother will have

eight shillings net profit, and be fit for work till she produces another

child.

Those who are more thrifty (as I must confess the times require) may

flay

the

carcass;

the

skin

of

which

artificially

dressed

will

make

admirable gloves for ladies, and summer boots for fine gentlemen.

As to our city of Dublin, shambles may be appointed for this purpose

in the most convenient parts of it, and butchers we may be assured

will not be wanting; although I rather recommend buying the children

alive, and dressing them hot from the knife, as we do roasting pigs.

A very worthy person, a true lover of his country, and whose virtues I

highly

esteem,

was

lately

pleased

in

discoursing

on

this

matter

to

offer a refinement upon my scheme. He said that many gentlemen of

this kingdom, having of late destroyed their deer

, he conceived that

the want of venison might be well supplied by the bodies of young lads

and maidens, not exceeding fourteen years of age nor under twelve;

so great a number of both sexes in every country being now ready to

starve for want of work and service; and these to be disposed of by

their parents, if alive, or otherwise by their nearest relations. But with

due deference to so excellent a friend and so deserving a patriot, I

cannot

be

altogether

in

his

sentiments;

for

as

to

the

males,

my

American acquaintance assured me, from frequent experience, that

their flesh was generally

tough and lean,

like

that of

our schoolboys by

continual exercise, and their taste disagreeable; and to fatten them

would not answer the charge. Then as to the females, it would, I think,

with humble submission be a loss to the public, because they soon

would become breeders themselves; and besides, it is not improbable

that some scrupulous people might be apt to censure such a practice

(although

indeed

very

unjustly),

as

a little

bordering

upon

cruelty;

which, I confess, hath always been with me the strongest objection

against any project, however so well intended.

But in order to justify my friend, he confessed that this expedient was

put into his head by the famous Psalmanazar

, a native of the island

Formosa, who came from thence to London above twenty years ago,

and in conversation told my friend,

that in his country when any young

person happened to be put to death, the executioner sold the carcass

to persons of quality as a prime dainty; and that in his time the body

of a plump girl of fifteen, who was crucified for an attempt to poison

the emperor

, was

sold to his imperial majesty's prime minister of state,

and other great mandarins of the court, in joints from the gibbet, at

four hundred crowns. Neither indeed can I deny

, that if the same use

were made of several plump young girls in this town, who without one

single groat to their fortunes cannot stir abroad without a chair

, and

appear

at

playhouse and

assemblies in

foreign

fineries

which

they

never will pay for

, the kingdom would not be the worse.

Some persons of a desponding spirit are in great concern about that

vast number of poor people, who are aged, diseased, or maimed, and

I have been desired to employ my thoughts what course may be taken

to ease the nation of so grievous an encumbrance. But I am not in the

least pain upon that matter

, because it is very well known that they

are

every

day

dying

and

rotting

by

cold and

famine,

and filth

and

vermin, as fast as can be reasonably expected. And as to the young

laborers, they are now in as hopeful a condition; they cannot get work,

and consequently pine away for want of nourishment, to a degree that

if at any time they are accidentally hired to common labor

, they have

not strength to perform it; and thus the country and themselves are