-
Part One: Unnecessary Words
All
authorities
on
the style
of
English
prose
agree
that
good
writing
is
concise.
Careful
writers say what
they mean in as few words as possible.
Vigorous writing is concise.
A
sentence should contain no
unnecessary words, a paragraph
no
unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a
drawing should have no unnecessary lines
and a machine no unnecessary parts.
It
follows
that
any
words
which
perform
no
useful
function
in
the
sentence
—
that
is
,
which add
nothing to the
meaning
—
should be edited
out.
Almost
every
text
that
has
been
translated
into
English
from
Chinese(
or
that
has
been
written
directly
in
English
by
a
native
speaker
of
Chinese)
contains
unnecessary words.
Draft
translations are commonly full of them,
and even polished final versions are seldom free
of them.
Read anything that has been
published in English for foreign
readers
—
a magazine article,
a
news story
, an
advertisement, a government
report
—
and you are likely to
find superfluous words.
Read even the
shortest
of English
texts
—
the label on a food
product , a billboard on
Chang
’
an ,
the
company
name
on
the
front
of
a
building
—
and
,
if
you
are
on
the
alert
to recognize
them,
chances are that you
will find words that could and should have been
omitted. Unnecessary words
are the
hallmark of Chinglish.
Unnecessary
words
can
be
any
part
of
speech
—
nouns,
verbs,
adjectives,
adverbs,
prepositions,
articles, and so on. In the following chapters we
shall consider the most important
types, starting with unnecessary nouns
and verbs, which often go hand in hand.
I .Unnecessary Nouns and
V
erbs
Nouns
Most
unnecessary nouns in Chinglish appear not alone
but in short phrases, combined with
articles
and
prepositions.
When
you
eliminate
the
nouns
,
you
eliminate
the
articles
and
prepositions as well.
Many of these nouns are easy to
recognize. They are plainly redundant because
their sense
is already included or
implied in some other element of the sentence.
Here are a few examples (A)
with
suggested revisions (B)and comments in brackets.
加快经济改革步伐
A: to
accelerate the pace of economic reform
B: to accelerate economic reform
(To accelerate = to
increase the pace of )
农业获得大丰收
A: There
have been good harvests in agriculture.
B: There have been good harvests.
[
“
Harvest
”<
/p>
implies agriculture: there are no
harvests in industry.]
城乡人民生活水平持续上升。
A:
Living standards for the people in both urban and
rural areas continued to rise.
B:
Living standards in both urban and rural areas
continued to rise.
【
The
notion of living standards applies only to
people.
】
这些困难从本质上说是暂时的。
A
：
These hardships are temporary in
nature.
B:
These hardships are
temporary
.
[Any adjectives
describes the
“
nature
”
or
“
character
”
of the noun
it modifies . To say that
1
hardships
are
“
temporary
in
nature
”
is
like
saying
that
the
Chinese
flag
is
red
in color
”
or
that
pandas
are few
in number.”
]
我国未来的经济发展在很大程度上有赖于
……
A
：
The development
of our economy in the future will, to a large
extent, depend on
…
B: The development of our economy will,
to a large extent, depend
on
…
[ The future
tense of the verb(will depend) is sufficient to
express futurity.]
我们应采取一系列措施来保证
……
A: we should adopt a series of measures
to ensure that
…
.
B: we should adopt measures to ensure
that
…
.
[Here the
plural form of
“
measures
”
covers the sense of a
< br>“
series
”
]
Other
unnecessary
nouns(or
gerunds)
may
be
less
easy
to
identify.
Nevertheless,
a
little
thought will reveal
that they add nothing to the meaning of the
sentence. When they are deleted,
the
sense is not diminished, only clarified. Some
examples:
在实现农业机械化和电气化后
……
A
：
following the
realization of mechanization and electrification
of agriculture
B
：
following the
of mechanization and electrification of
agriculture
必须加强国防建设。
A: It is essential to
strengthen the building of national defense.
B: It is essential to strengthen
national defense.
这些构成了努力实现过渡时期的伟大任务的重要条件。
A: These constitute important
conditions in striving for the fulfillment of the
general task in
the transitional
period.
B: These are important
conditions for fulfilling the general task in the
transition period.
当时，东北的形势仍然是敌强我弱。
A: At that time the situation in
northeast China was still one where the enemy was
stronger
than the people's forces .
B: At that time the enemy was still
stronger than the people's forces in northeast
China.
[
particularly dangerous
noun. Not only is it generally unnecessary, but it
drags other unnecessary elements after
it (in this instance,
解决问题的关键在于削减开支。
A: The key to the solution lies in the
curtailment of expenditure.
B: The solution is to curtail ( or. cut
back on) expenditure.
[
it often leads
to further unnecessary complications (here,
党内民主是已详细讨论过的问题。
A: Inner-Party democracy is a subject
that has been discussed in detail.
B:
Inner-Party democracy has been discussed in
detail.
Category nouns
There
is one type of noun that deserves special mention,
because it is the commonest
unnecessary
word in Chinglish. This is the general noun that
serves only to introduce a specific
noun( or gerund) to follow
:
“
a serious mistake in the work of
planning.
计划工作中的错误。
In such constructions, the first noun
announces the category of the second; in this
case, it
tells readers that
“
planning
”
falls
into the category of
“
work
”
. That is something they
already
know. Accordingly, the first
nouns should be deleted a serious mistake in
planning.
2
Other examples
:
促进和平统一事业
A
:
promoting the cause of peaceful
reunification
B:
promoting peaceful reunification
经济领域的改革
A:
reforms in the sphere of
the economy
B:
reforms in the economy (or economic
reforms)
保证双方之间的亲密合作关系
A
to ensure a relationship
of close cooperation
between
…
.
B to
ensure close cooperation
between
…
我们必须反对铺张浪费的行为。
A:
We must oppose the practice of extravagance
B: We must oppose extravagance.
这些原则适应于处理中外关系中的所有情况
A: These principles apply to all cases
of relations between China and other countries.
B: These principles apply to relations
between China and all other countries.
这种情况，加上价格不稳定的因素，引起
…
.
A: This, coupled with the factor of
price instability, caused
…
.
B: This, coupled with price
instability, caused
…
.
Whatever function the
category noun serves in Chinese, in English it is
generally useless.
All it adds to the
sentence is weight without substance.
Verbs
Like unnecessary nouns,
most unnecessary verbs in Chinglish occur in
phrases. Usually they
are combined with
nouns(plus the inevitable articles and
prepositions that nouns bring with them).
These phrases are of two principal
types:
1. Unnecessary verbs plus noun
2. Unnecessary verb plus unnecessary
noun plus third word
we shall look at
first one and then the other.
1.
+noun
The commonest type is a phrase like
“
we must make an improvement
in our work.
”
Here
the verb(make) is a weak, colorless,
all-purpose word having no very specific meaning
of its own,
while the real action is
expressed in the noun (improvement).
Since
the
verb
is
not
contributing
anything
to
the sense,
it
can
be
edited
out.
“
We
must
improve
our work.
”
The
basic
pattern
is
+noun.
Both
translators
and
polishers
tend
to
overlook
constructions
of
this
sort,
because
they
are
grammatically
correct
and
because
—
precisely
—
everyone
is
so
accustomed
to
them.
Once
you
became
alert
to
the
pattern,
however, it is easy enough to eliminate
the unnecessary words by substituting plain verbs.
我们想在一夜之间完成整个社会的变革是不可能的。
A
：
It is
impossible for us to accomplish the transformation
of the whole society overnight.
3