-
Mulan
Guard: We're
under attack! Light the signal!
Guard: Now all of China knows you're
here.
Shan-Yu: Perfect.
General Li: Your Majesty,
the Huns have crossed our Northern border.
Chi Fu: Impossible! No one
can get through The Great Wall.
General Li: Shun-Yu is leading them.
We'll set up defenses around your
palace immediately.
Emperor: No! Send your troops to
protect my people. Chi Fu,
Chi Fu: Yes, your highness.
Emperor: Deliver
conscription notices throughout all the provinces.
Call up
reserves and as many new
recruits as possible.
General Li: Forgive me your Majesty,
but I believe my troops can stop him.
Emperor: I wont take any chances,
General. A single grain of rice can tip
the scale. One man may be the
difference between victory and defeat.
Mulan: Quiet and
demure...graceful...polite...[picking up some rice
with her
chopsticks and eating a
mouthful] delicate...refined...poised... [She sets
down her chopsticks and writes down a
final word on her right arm] punctual.
Aiya. Little brother. Little brother.
Lit-ahhh, there you are. Who's the smartest
doggie in the
world? Come on smart
boy, can you help me with my chores today?
Fa Zhou: Honorable
ancestors, please help Mulan impress the
matchmaker today.
Little
Brother: Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark.
Fa Zhou: Please, PLEASE, help her.
Mulan: Father I brought
your-- whoop! [Fa Zhou bumps into Mulan.
The cup falls to the ground and Fa Zhou
catches the teapot with the handle of
his cane]
Fa
Zhou: Mulan--
Mulan: I
brought a spare.
Fa Zhou:
Mulan--
Mulan: Remember,
the doctor said three cups of tea in the morning--
Fa Zhou: Mulan--
Mulan: And three at night.
Fa Zhou: Mulan, you should
already be in town. We're counting on you to up--
Mulan: -- uphold the
family honor. Don't worry father. I wont let you
down.
Wish me luck.
Fa Zhou: Hurry! I'm going to...pray
some more.
[Fa Zhou turns and walks
back into the temple]
Bath Lady: Fa Li, is your daughter
here yet?
The matchmaker is not a
patient woman.
Fa Li: Of
all days to be late. I should have prayed to the
ancestors for luck.
Grandma
Fa: How lucky can they be,they're dead. Besides,
I've got all the luck we'll need.
This
is your chance to prove yourself. Grandma Fa
covers her eyes steps into a busy street]
Fa Li: Grandma No!
Grandma Fa: Yep, this
cricket's a lucky one.
Fa
Li: Hai.
Mulan: I'm here.
What? But Mama I had to--
Fa Li: None of your e'xcuses. Now
let's get you cleaned up.
Bath Lady:
This is what you
give me to work with?
Well, honey, I've
seen worse.
We're gonna turn this sow's
ear Into a silk purse.
Mulan: It's freezing.
Fa Li: It would have been warm if you
were here on time.
Bath
Lady:
We'll have you
Washed
and dried
Primped and polished
till you glow with pride
Trust my recipe for
instant
bride
You'll bring honor to us all
Fa Li: Mulan, what's this?
Mulan: Ahh, notes, in case
I forget something?
Grandma
Fa: Here, hold this. We'll need more luck than I
thought.
Hair Dresser 1:
Wait and see
When we're
through
Hair Dresser 2:
Boys will gladly go to
war
for you
Hair Dresser 1:
With good fortune
Hair Dresser 2:
And a great
hairdo
Both:
You'll bring honor to us all
Fa Li and others:
A girl can bring her family
Great honor in one way
By
striking a good match
And this could be
the day
Dresser 1 [Dresser
1, Dresser 2, and Fa Li dress Mulan]:
Men want girls with good taste
Dresser 2:
Calm
Fa Li:
Obedient
Dresser 1:
Who
work fast-paced
Fa Li:
With good breeding
Dresser 2:
And a tiny waist
Mulan: huh.
All Three:
You'll bring
honor to us all
Chorus:
We all must serve our Emperor
Who guards us from the Huns
A man by bearing arms
A girl
by bearing sons
Make-up
Lady/Fa Li:
When we're through
you can't fail
Like a lotus
blossom
soft and pale
How
could any fellow
say
You'll
bring honor to us all
Fa
Li: There, you're ready.
Grandma Fa: Not yet! An apple for
serenity...A pendant for balance
Beads of jade for beauty
You
must proudly show it
Now add a cricket
just for luck
And even you can't blow
it
Mulan:
Ancestors
Hear my plea
Help me not to make a fool of me
And to not uproot my fam'ly tree
Keep my father standing tall
Maidens and Mulan:
Scarier than the undertaker
We are meeting our matchmaker
All Townspeople:
Destiny
Guard our girls
And our future
as it fast
unfurls
Please look kindly on
these cultured pearls
Each a
perfect porcelain doll
Maiden #1: Please bring honor to us
Maiden #2: Please bring honor to us
Maiden #3: Please bring honor to us
Maiden #4: Please bring honor to us
Mulan and Maidens: Please bring honor
to us all!
Matchmaker [looking at her clipboard]:
Fa Mulan
Mulan: Present.
Matchmaker: Speaking
without permission.
Mulan:
Oops.
Grandma Fa:
Who spit in her bean curd?
Matchmaker: Huh, Hmm, too
skinny. Hmph, not good for bearing sons.
Recite the final admonition.
Mulan: Mmm-Hmm. Ptu
Matchmaker: Well...
Mulan: Fulfill your duties
calmly and re...f--[looking at her
arm
with smeared writing] spectfully. Reflect before
you snack act. This shall bring you honor
and glory. Huh.
Matchmaker: Hmmm, this way. Now, pour
the tea. To please your future in-laws you must
demonstrate a sense of dignity and
refinement. You must also be poised.
Mulan: Um, pardon me.
Matchmaker: And silent!
Mulan: Could I just take
that back...one moment.
Matchmaker: Why you clumsy Wooo,
woooo, wooooooo, Ahhhhhhhhhhh
Grandma Fa: I think it's going well,
don't you?
Matchmaker: Put
it out! Put it out!
Put it out! You
are a disgrace!
You may look like a
bride, but you will never bring your family honor!
Mulan:
Look at
me
I will never pass for a perfect
bride Or a perfect daughter
Can it be
I'm not meant to play this part? Now I
see
That if I were to truly
To be myself
I would break
my
family's heart
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight
Back at me?
Why is my reflection someone
I don't know?
Somehow I
cannot hide
Who I am
Though
I've tried [Mulan bows to the ancestors]
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
When will
my reflection show
Who I am inside?
Fa Zhou: My, my, what
beautiful blossoms we have this year. But look,
this one's late. But, I'll
bet that
when it blooms, it will be the most beautiful of
all.
Mulan: What is it?
Fa Li: Mulan, stay inside.
Chi Fu: Citizens I bring
you a proclamation from the Imperial City: the
Huns have invaded China!
Townspeople: No!
Chi Fu: By order of the Emperor, one
man from every family must serve in the
Imperial Army. The Xiao family. The
Yi family.
Yi's Son: I
will serve the Emperor in my father's place.
Chi Fu: The Fa Family.
Mulan: No.
Fa Zhou: I am ready to serve the
Emperor.
Mulan: Father,
you can't go.
Fa Zhou:
Mulan!
Mulan: Please sir,
my father has already fought bravely--
Chi Fu: Silence! You would do well to
teach your daughter to hold her tongue
in a man's presence.
Fa Zhou: Mulan, you dishonor me.
Chi Fu: Report
tomorrow at the WuShu camp.
Fa Zhou: Yes, sir.
Chi Fu: The Chu family. The Wen
family.
The Chang family. The...
Mulan: You shouldn't have
to go.
Fa Li: Mulan!
Mulan: There are plenty of
young men to fight for China.
Fa Zhou: It is an honor to protect my
country and my family.
Mulan: So you'll die for honor!
Fa Zhou: I will DIE doing
what's right.
Mulan: But if
you--
Fa Zhou: I know my
place, it is time you learned yours.
Grandma Fa: Mulan is gone.
Fa Zhou: What? It can't be. Mulan!
No.
Fa Li: You must go
after her. She could be killed!
Fa Zhou: If I reveal her, she will be.
[Fa Zhou embraces Fa Li]
Grandma Fa: Ancestors, hear our
prayer: Watch over Mulan.
First Ancestor: Mushu, awaken!
Mushu: I live! So tell me
what mortal needs my protection Great Ancestor.
You just say the
word and I'm there.
First Ancestor: Mushu!
Mushu: Hey, let me say
something. Anybody who is foolish enough to
threaten
our family, vengeance will be
MINE. Hrrrrr.
First
Ancestor: Mushu! These are the family guardians.
They...
Mushu
[dejectedly]: Protect the family.
First Ancestor: And you, oh demoted
one.
Mushu: I...ring the
gong.
First Ancestor:
That's right, now, wake up the ancestors.
Mushu: One family reunion
coming right up. Okay people,
people
look alive, lets go! C'mon get up. Let's move it,
rise and shine.
You're way past the
beauty sleep thing now trust me!
Ancestor 1: I knew it, I knew it. That
Mulan was a trouble maker from the start.
Ancestor 3: Don't look at
me, she gets it from your side of the family.
Ancestor 2: She's just
trying to help her father.
Ancestor 4: But, if she is discovered,
Fa Zhou will be forever shamed.
Dishonor will come to the family. Traditional
values will disintegrate.
Ancestor 5: Not to mention they'll
lose the farm.
Ancestor 1:
My children never caused such trouble. They all
became
acupuncturists.
Ancestor 3: Well, We can't all be
acupuncturists.
Ancestor 6:
No, your great granddaughter had to be cross-
dresser!
Ancestor 7: Let a
guardian bring her back.
Ancestor 8: Yeah, awaken the most
cunning.
Ancestor 4: No,
the swiftest.
Ancestor 9:
No, send the wisest.
First
Ancestor: Silence! We must send the most
powerful of all
Mushu: Ho,
ho, heh, heh. Okay,okay, I get the drift, I'll go.
You all don't think I can do it.
Watch
this here. Ah, ha, Jump back, I'm prettyhot huh.
Don't make me have to singe nobody to
prove no point.
First
Ancestor: You had your chance to protect the Fa
family.
Ancestor 6: Your
mis-guidance led Fa Deng to disaster.
Fa Deng: Yeah, thanks a lot.
Mushu: And your point is?
First Ancestor: The point
is we will be sending a real dragon to retrieve
Mulan.
Mushu: What? But
I'm a real dragon.
First
Ancestor: You are not worthy of this spot. Now,
awaken the
Great Stone Dragon.
Mushu: So you'll get back
to me on the job thing.
Mushu: Just one chance is that too
much to ask? I mean, it's not like it'll kill ya.
Mushu: Yo rocky, wake up!
You gotta go fetch Mulan. C'mon boy, go get her,
go on, Come on.
Grrr, Grrrr. Hello,
helloooooo. Hello. Uh oh. Uh, Stoney,
Stooooneeey. Oh man, they're gonna
kill me!
First
Ancestor: Great Stone Dragon, have you awaken?
Mushu: Uhhh, Yes, I just
woke up. And I am the Great Stone Dragon, good
morning. I will go
forth and fetch
Mulan. Did, did I mention that I was the Great
Stone Dragon?
First
Ancestor: Go, The fate of the Fa Family rests in
your claws.
Mushu: Don't
even worry about it, I will not lose face.
Mushu [muffled]: Ow, my
elbow. Aw, aw, I know I twisted something.
That's just great. Now what? I'm
doomed! And all 'cause miss man decides to take
her little
drag show on the road.
Cri-Kee: Chirp, Chirp.
Mushu: Go get her?
What's the matter with you? After this great
stone
Humpty Dumpty mess, I'd have to
bring her home with a medal to get back in the
temple. Wait a minute, that's it! I
make Mulan a war hero, then they'll be
begging me to come back to work.
That's the master plan. Oh, you've gone and
done it now.
Cri-Kee: Chirp. Chirp Chirp Chirp.
Mushu: Hey, what makes you
think you're coming?
Cri-
Kee: Chirp, Chirp.
Mushu:
You're lucky? Ho, ho, heh. Do I look like a
sucker to you?
Cri-Kee:
Chirp. Chirp.
Mushu:
Whach' you mean loser? How 'bout I pop one of
your antenna's off and
throw it across
the yard. Then who's a loser, me or you?
Hun Long-Hair
Guy: Imperial scouts.
Scout #1: Shan-Yu.
Shan-Yu: Nice work,
gentlemen. You found the
Hun army.
Scout #2: The Emperor will
stop you.
Shan-Yu: Stop me?
He invited me. By building his wall, he
challenged my strength.
Well I'm here
to play his game . Go! Tell your emperor to send
his strongest armies. I'm
ready.
Shan-Yu: How many men does
it take to deliver a message.
Archer Guy: One.
Mulan: Okay, okay, how 'bout this?
Ahem, excuse me, where do I sign in? Hah, I see
you have
a sword. I have one too.
They're very manly and tough. I'm working on it.
Who am I fooling?
It's going to take a
miracle to get me into the army.
Mushu: Did I hear someone ask for a
miracle!? Let me hear you say aye!
Mulan: Ahhhhhh.
Mushu: That's close enough.
Mulan: Ghost.
Mushu: Get ready Mulan your serpentine
salvation is at hand. For I have
been
sent by your ancestors-- to guide you through your
masquerade. C'mon, you're gonna stay
you're gonna work. Heed my word, 'cause
if the army finds out that you are a girl, the
penalty is
death.
Mulan: Who are you?
Mushu: Who am I? Who am I? I am the
guardian of lost souls. I am the powerful, the
pleasurable, the indestructible Mushu!
Oh hah, hah, pretty hot, huh?
Mulan: Ah, my ancestors sent a little
lizard to help me?
Mushu:
Hey, dragon, dragon, not lizard. I don't do that
tongue thing
.
Mulan: You're uh...
Mushu: Intimidating? Awe inspiring ?
Mulan: Tiny.
Mushu: Of course. I'm travel size for
your
convenience. If I was my real
size, your cow here would die of fright. Down
Bessy. My powers
are beyond your
mortal imagination. For instance, my eyes can see
straight through your armor. Ow. All
right, that's it! Dishonor!
Dishonor
on your whole family. Make a note of this
Dishonor on you. Dishonor on your cow.
Dis-
Mulan:
Stop! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm just nervous.
I've never done this before.
Mushu: Then you're gonna have to trust
me. And don't you slap me no more, we
clear on that? . All right. Okey
dokey, let's get this show on the road. Cri-Kee,
get the bags
Let's move it heifer.
Mushu: Okay
this is it, time to show 'em your man walk.
Shoulders back, chest high, feet
apart, head up ...and strut 2, 3,
break it down, 2, 3 and work it, Beautiful isn't
it?
Mulan: They're
disgusting.
Mushu: No,
they're men. And you're going to have to act just
like them, so
pay attention.
Tattoo Soldier: Look, this
tattoo will protect me from harm.
Ling [laughing]: I hope you can get
your money back.
Mulan: I
don't think I can do this.
Mushu: It's all attitude. Be tough
like this guy here.
Yao:
What are you looking at?
Mushu: Punch him, it's how men say
'hello.'
Chien-Po: Oh Yao,
you made a friend.
Mushu:
Good, Now slap him on the behind, they like that.
Yao: Wu hoo hooooo. I'm
going to hit you so hard it'll make your ancestors
dizzy.
Chien-Po: Yao,
relax and chant with me.
Yaaaaaaa
Moouuuu Ahhhhhh Doooou Fuuuu Daaaaa.
Yao: Ya Mi Ah To Fu Da.
Chien-Po: Feel better?
Yao: Yeah. Aaaaa, you ain't worth my
time chicken boy.
Mushu:
Chicken boy!? Say that to my face ya
limp noodle
!
Yao: Oh, sorry Ling. Hey!
Ling: You're dead. Oh, there he goes.
Mulan: Hey guys.
General Li: The Huns have
struck here, here and here. I will take the main
troops up to
the Tung Shao Pass and
stop Shan-Yu before he destroys this village.
Chi Fu: Excellent
strategy, Sir. I do love surprises, Ha ha, ha,
ha.
General Li: You will
stay here and train the new recruits. When Chi Fu
believes you're ready,
you will join
us...Captain.
Shang:
Captain?
Chi Fu: Oh, this
is an enormous responsibility, General. Uh,
perhaps a soldier with more
experience--
General Li: Number one in his class,
extensive knowledge of training techniques, an
impressive
military lineage. I believe
Li Shang will do an excellent job.
Shang: Oh, I will. I wont let you
down. This is, I mean, I... yes sir.
General Li: Very good then. We'll
toast China's victory at the Imperial City. I'll
expect a full report in three weeks.
Chi Fu: And I wont leave
anything out.
Shang:
Captain Li Shang, Hmmm, leader of China's finest
troops. No, the greatest troops of all
time. Heh, heh, heh, heh.
Chi Fu: Most impressive.
General Li: Good luck Captain.
Shang: Good luck, Father.
Chi Fu: Day one.
Shang: Soldiers!
All Recruits: He started
it!
Shang: I don't need
anyone causing trouble in my camp!
Mulan: Sorry, Uhh, I mean, sorry you
had to see that. You know how it is
when you get those, uh manly urges and
you just have to kill something, fix things, uh,
cook
outdoors.
Shang: What's your name?
Mulan: Ahh, I, uhhh, I, uh--
Chi Fu: Your commanding
officer just asked you a question.
Mulan: Uhh, I've got a name. Huh.
And it's a boys name too.
Mushu: Ling, How 'bout Ling?
Mulan: His name's Ling.
Shang: I didn't ask for
his name. I asked for yours.
Mushu: Try, uh, ahh, Chu!
Mulan: Ah Chu.
Shang: Ah Chu?
Mushu: Gesundheit. He He,
I kill myself
.
Mulan Mushu.
Shang: Mushu?
Mulan: No.
Shang: Then what is it!
Mushu: Ping! Ping was my best friend
growing up!
Mulan: It's
Ping.
Shang: Ping.
Mushu: Of course Ping DID
steal my gir-
Mulan: Yes,
my name is Ping.
Shang:
Let me see your conscription notice. Fa Zhou,
*the* Fa Zhou?
Chi Fu: I
didn't know Fa Zhou had a son.
Mulan: Um, he...doesn't talk about me
much.
Chi Fu: I can see
why, the boy's an absolute lunatic.
Shang: Okay gentlemen, thanks to your
new friend Ping, you'll spend tonight picking up
every
single grain of rice. And
tomorrow, the real work begins.
Mushu: You know, we have to work on
your people skills.
Mushu:
All right, rise and shine sleeping beauty. C'mon
hup, hup,
hup. Get your clothes on.
Get ready. Got breakfast for ya.
Look, you get porridge, and it's happy to see
you. Hey,get outta there, you gonna
make people sick!
Mulan:
Am I late?
Mushu: No time
to talk. Now remember, it's your first day of
training so listen to your teacher
and
no fighting.
Play nice
with
the other kids, unless of course one of the other
kids wanna fight,
then you have to kick
the other kid's butt.
Mulan: But I don't wanna kick the
other kid's butt.
Mushu:
Don't talk with your mouth full. Now let's see
your war face.
I think my bunny
slippers just ran for cover. C'mon scare me,
girl!
Mulan: Rrrrrrr!
Mushu: Oh, that's my tough
looking warrior. That's what I'm talking about.
Now get out
there and make me proud.
Mushu: What do you mean
the troops just left?
Mulan: They what!?
Mushu: Wait, you forgot your sword.
My little baby off to destroy people.
Chi Fu: Order people, order!
Recruit #2: I'd like a pan
fried noodle.
Chien-Po:
Oh, oh, sweet and pungent shrimp.
Recruit #3: Moo goo gai pan
Chi Fu: That's not funny.
Ling: Looks like our new
friend slept in this morning. Hellooo Ping,Are you
hungry?
Yao: Yeah, 'cause
I owe you a knuckle sandwich.
All Soldiers: Yeah.
Shang: Soldiers! You will assemble
swiftly and silently every morning. Anyone who
acts otherwise will answer to me.
Yao: Ooooo, tough guy.
Shang: Yao. Thank you for
volunteering. Retrieve the arrow.
Yao: I'll get that arrow pretty boy.
And I'll do it with my shirt on.
Shang: One moment, you seem to be
missing something. This represents discipline
and this
represents strength. You need
both to reach the arrow.
Shang: We've got a long way to go.
Shang:Let's get down to
business--to defeat the Huns.