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41. Hawaiian Highway
A man was walking along the
coast
and found a crystal
look
ed around and didn’t see
anyone,so,he opened it.
A
ghost appeared
and
gratefully
thanked the
man for letting him out of
the
container
.
The ghost
guaranteed
, for
your kindness I will grant you a wish,butonly one.
The
man thought
for a minute and said, well,I have always wanted
to go to Hawaii. I
hearthe
landscape
there is very
spectacular.
But
I
have never been able to because I’m afraid of
flying,and
cruises
make me dizzy. I
wish for a bridge to be
spanned
over the
ocean
,so
I can drive there for
wonderful
sightseeing
.
The
ghost was taken aback a bit, but after some
thought said, no,I can’t
grant you this
wish;think about the pilings needed to hold up the
highway,and how deep they
would have to
be to reach the bottom of the of all the steel
and
concrete
that would
be needed.I
’m sorry,you will
have to choose another wish.’
The man thought for a minute and
then told the giant, there is one other
thing tha
t I’m anxious to know. I would
like to be able to
understand women.
What makes them laugh and cry,why do they get
upset at us so easily,what
are their
true
desires
and
needs.
The ghost stared at
him and
blinked
a couple
times, so ,do you want two
lanes
or four.
42. Handwriting
Once there lived a
landlord
who was
fond of handwriting,but he didn’t put in a lot of
effort
to
do
his
exercises.
Everybody
sneered
at
his
bad
handwriting,and
the
landlord
himself
really
didn’t care.
One day in his
studio
,he happened to draft a beautiful
phrase and at once wrote it
down,indeed, there were
dragons
flying and snakes
dancing all over the paper. Then he ordered
his
nephew
to
copy
it.
When
beginning
to
copy,his
nephew
did
not
know
where
to
start
the
structure
.
The
young
man
had
to
take
the
manuscript
back
to
the
landlord
to
verify
.
Uncle,I
can’t
read
your
handwriting,please
tell
me
what
words
they
are.
The
landlord
read
the
objective
a
long
time,and
did
not
know
what
Chinese
characters
they
were,either.
Then
he
turned to blame his
nephew. W
hy didn’t you come
earlier
to ask me.I myself have
forgotten the
words which I’ve
written.
43.
T
hat can’t be my lamb
One
breezy
morning,two
men
were
walking
through
the
woods
and
came
upon
a
big
black,deep
hole. One man picked up a big
oval
rock and
tossed
it into the hole and stood listening
for the rock to hit bottom. There was
no sound. He turned to the other guy and said,it
means the
hole is very deep.
L
et’s throw a bigger rock in there and
listen for it to hit bottom.
The men
found
a bigger rock in there and listen
for it to hit bottom. The men found a bigger rock
and both picked
it up and
lugged
it to the hole and
dropped it in.
They
listened for some time and never heard a
sound.
Again,they
agreed
that
this
must
be
a
deep
hole,and
maybe
they
should
look
of
something
even bigger and throw into it .
One man
spotted
a
railroad tie nearby. They picked
up the
tie and lugged it to the hole. They tossed it
sound. All of a sudden,a lamb came flying
out of the woods,running like
the
rocket
,and flew past the
men and jumped straight into the hole.
The men were amazed.
About that time,and old farmer came out
of the woods and asked the
men if they
had seen a man told the farmer of the
incredible
incident
they had
just
witnessed
-they had just seen
this lamb fly out of the woods and run and leap
into the big hole.
The man asked the
farmer if this could have been his lamb.
The
old
farmer
gave
him
a
negative
answer,no,that
can’t
be
my
lamb?he
was
chained
to
a
railroad tie.
lawyer’s dog
A lawyer’s dog,running about
unleashed,swayed
into a
butcher shop,
snapped
at a
roast
and
ran
away before the butcher began to
pursue
him. T
he
butcher goes to lawyer’s tidy office and
asks,if
a
dog
running
unleashed
steals
a
lump
of
pork
from
my
store,
is
the
dog’s
owner
responsible for my loss. The lawyer
answers,absolutely. You have the sufficient
reasons to charge.
Then
you
owe
me
$$8.50.
Your
dog
was
loose
and
stole
a
roast
from
me
today.
The
lawyer,without a word,stiffly writes
the butcher a check for $$l days later the butcher
opens the mail and finds an envelope
from the lawyer:$$20 due for a legal
consultation,the receipt
attached
45. Hold the lantern
The
carpenter
,Mike,and
his
pregnant
wife
live
in
a
rural
area
in
the
west
of
England.
No
running water,no electricity, etc.
O
ne night,Mikes’
wife is
lying on a cushion and begins to deliver
the baby in their
dimcabin
. The local doctor
is there in
attendance
.
”
What
do you want me to
do,doctor
?
””
Hold the lantern,Mike.
Here it comes !
”
The doctor
delivers the child and holds it up
cautiously
for the proud
father to see.
“Mike,you’re
the proud father of a fine strapping
boy.
S
aints
be
praised,
i…
Before
Mike
kissed
the
boy
on
the
cheek
the
Doctor
interrupts,
“
wait
a
minute.
Hold
the
lantern,Mike.
”
Soon
the
doctor
delivers
the
next
child.
“You’ve
a
full
set
mow,Mike.A beautiful baby
daughter.
”
After a short
interval
,the doctor said
again, beyond your
imagination
,Mike,hold the
doctor delivers a third child. The doctor holds up
the
delicate
baby
for Mike’s
inspection
.
Doctor,asks
Mike,
“it’s a
miracle
. D
o you think it’s
the light
flame
that’s
attracting
them.
“
46. Friends
Sam
and
john
were
out
cutting
wood
when
john
slipped
down
and
cut
his
arm
off
by
his
retained
calm. He took the
precaution
against
bacterial
infection
,
wrapped
the arm in a
plastic
bag,and
took
the
arm
and
John
to
a
surgeon.
“
You
are
in
luck
”
,said
the
surgeon.
I
am
a
genuine
expert
in
re-attaching
limbs
.
Come
back
in
four
hours
when
I
have
completed
the
operation
.
So
Sam
returned
in
four
hours
and
the
surgeon
said,
”
I
did
it
faster
than
I
expected.
”
John
is
down
at
the
club.
Full
of
gratitude
to
the
genius
,
Sam
rushed down
to
the
club and was amazed to
see John playing darts.
A
few weeks later,Sam and John were cutting
wood again when John
accidentally
cut off his
conserved
the leg in a
plastic bag and took
it and John back
to the same surgeon.
“
Legs
are harder,
“
said the
surgeon,
“but I’ll see what I can
do
–
come
back
in
six
hours.
“
Sam
returned
in
six
hours
and
the
surgeon
said,
“
I
accomplish
early-
John’s playing
football.”
A few
weeks later,Sam and John were cutting wood
again,when
John accidentally cut off
his own head and
collapsed
.Sam put the head
in a plastic bag and took it
and
John’s
trunk
to the
surgeon,
confident
that the
skillful surgeon would do the are
really difficult to re-attach, the
surgeon
muttered
,
“but I’ll see what
I can do –
come back in 12
hours.
”
Sam
returned
in
12
hours.
“How
did
it
go
,Doc
?
”
he
asked.
A
tragedy
John
died,the
sympathetic
surgeon replied,he
suffocated
in the plastic
bag.
47. A stranger at night