高风险-royole
山西省永济市涑北中学高三英语复习：英文小幽默
2
A lady was walking down the street to
work. She saw a parrot on a
perch[
栖木
] in front
of a pet
（宠物）
store.
The
parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really
ugly.”
Well, the lady was
furious[
暴怒的
]! She stormed
past the store to her work.
On
the
way
home
she
saw
the
same
parrot
and
it
said
to
her,
“Hey
lady,
you
are
really
ugly.”
She was incredibly ticked[愤怒
] now.
The next day the same parrot again said
to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.”
The lady was so ticked that
she went into the store and said that she would
sue[
起诉
]
the store
and kill the bird. The store manager apologized
（道歉）
profusely[
十分慷慨地<
/p>
]
and
promised
（保证）
he would make
sure the parrot wouldn't say it again.
When the lady
walked
past the store that
day
after work, the p
arrot called to her,
“Hey
lady.”
She
paused and said, ”Yes?”
The
bird said, “You know.”
Daddy, How Much Do You Make an Hour?
With a timid[
羞怯的
]
voice
（声音，语气）
and
idolizing[
崇拜偶像
]
eyes
，
the little boy
greeted
（问）his
father
as
he
returned
from
work,
“Daddy,
how
much
do
you
make
an
hour?”
Greatly surprised, but
giving his boy a glaring[
耀眼的] look, the
father said, “Look,
son, not even your
mother knows that. Don't
bother
（打扰）
me now, I'm
tired
（累，疲
劳的）.”
“But Daddy, just tell me please! How
much do you make an hour?” the boy insisted.
The
father
finally
（最后）
gave
up
（
give
up
放弃）and
replied,
“Twenty
dollars
per
hour.”
“Okay, Daddy. Could you
loan（贷款）
me ten dollars?”
the boy asked.
Showing
restlessness
（不安）
and
positively disturbed
（被激怒）
,
the father yelled
（大
喊）—“So
that
was the reason you asked how much
I earn
（挣）
, right? Go to
sleep and
don't bother me
anymore!”
It was already dark and the father felt
guilty
（愧疚）
as he
meditated
（思考，冥想）
on what he
had said. Maybe, he thought, his son wanted to buy
something. So the father
went to his
son's room.
“Are you asleep, son?”
asked the father.
“No,
Daddy. Why?” replied the boy,
partially
asleep
（睡眼惺忪）
.
“Here's the money you asked
for earlier（早些时候，刚才）,” the father said.
“Thank
Daddy!”
rejoiced（喜乐）
the son, putting his hand
under his pillow
（枕头）
and
pulling out some money. “Now I have twenty
dollars!” the boy said to his father,
who
was
gazing
（凝视）
at
his
son,
confused
at
（对。疑惑）what
his
son
just
said.
“Daddy,
coul
d you
sell me one hour of your time?”
snake
（有毒的）
?
The cat and mouse
Mrs
Brown
went
to
visit
one
of
her
friend
and
carried
a
small
box
with
holes
（洞）
punched
（针扎）
in the
top
（顶部）
.
answered Mrs
Brown.
dreaming
about
（做梦梦到）
mice
at night
and I'm so
scared
（害怕）
! This cat is to
catch them.
（假想）
,<
/p>
evolution
The
lecturer
（讲师）
on
evolution
（进化论）
had
been
going
on
for
nearly
（接近）
two
hours.
then he started
again, and said he:
question ---
if
we
had
tails like a
baboon
（狒狒）
, where are
they?
（风险，冒险）
an
answer,
（磨
掉）
sitting here so long.
Improvement
（进步）
One student to another:
（进展如
何）
?
I
used
to
（曾经）
be
one
who
couldn't
understand
the
English
men,
and
now
it's
the
English men who can't understand
me.
The
Reason
（理由）
of Being Late
Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for
school every morning?
Johnny: Every
time I come to
the
corner
（拐角）
, a
guidepost
（路牌）
says, 'School
-- Go
Slow'.
When Do People Talk Least?
Student A: When do people talk
least
（最少）
?
Student B: In February.
Student A: Why?
Student B:
Because February is the shortest month of a year.
The plural
Form
（复数形式）
of
Teacher: What is the plural of man,
Tom?
Tom: Men.
Teacher:
Good. And the plural of child?
Tom:
Twins.
The insane asylum
Late
one
night
at
the
insane
asylum
(
疯人院）
one
< br>inmate
（
病人）
shou
ted
（
喊）
,
am
Napoleon!
Another one said,
The first inmate said,
Just
then, a voice from another room shouted,
高风险-royole
高风险-royole
高风险-royole
高风险-royole
高风险-royole
高风险-royole
高风险-royole
高风险-royole
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