trainers摩登家庭-season1第一集字母

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Claire :

Kids, breakfast! Kids? Phil, would you get them?

Phil

: Yeah, just a sec.

Claire :

Kids!

Phil :

That is so,..

Claire :

Okay...

Phil :

Kids, get down here!

Haley :

Why are you guys yelling at us, when we're way upstairs, just text me.

Claire :

Alright, That's not gonna happen, and, wow, you're not wearing that outfit.

Haley :

What's Wrong with it?

Claire :

Honey, do you have anything to say to your daughter... about her skirt?

Phil :

Sorry? Oh yeah, that looks really cute sweetheart!

Haley :

Thanks!

Claire :

No, it's way to short, people know you're a girl, you don't need to prove it to them.

Alex:

Luke got his head stuck in the banister again.

Phil :

I got it. Where's the baby oil?

Claire :

It's on our bedside tip... I Don't know, find it. Come on!

Claire :

I... was out of control growing up, there, you know, i said it. I...I, I just don't want my

kids

to

make

the

same

bad

mistakes

i

made.

If

Haley

never

would

exhibit

on

a

beach

in

Florida, half naked... I've done my job.

Phil :

Our job.

Claire :

Right... I've done our job.

Gloria :

Bravo Manny! Kick it! Kick it! Manny go! No! That was a penalty!

Jay :

Gloria, there Owen's six, Let's take it down a notch.

Gloria :

We're, very different. He's from the city. He has big business. I come from a small

village, very poor, but very very beautiful. It's the number one village in North-Columbia for

all the... what's the word?

Jay :

Murders.

Gloria :

Yes, the murders.

Gloria :

Manny, stop him! Stop him!

Boy : Dammit, manny!

a Mom :

Come on, coach! You've gotta take that kid out!

Gloria :

You wanna take him out? How about I take you out!?

Jay :

Honey, honey...

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Gloria :

Why don't you worry about your son! He's spend the first half with his hands in his

pants!

Josh :

I've wanted to tell her that for the last six weeks... I'm Josh, Ryan's dad.

Gloria :

Hi, I'm Gloria Pritchett... Manny's mother.

Josh :

Oh, this must be your dad.

Jay :

Her dad? Uh, no, no, that's funny. Actually no, I'm her husband! Don't be fooled by the...

Give me a second here.

Mitchell :

Who's the good girl? Who's that?

Old lady :

Oh, She's adorable!

Mitchell :

Oh, thank you!

Old lady

: Hey precious...

Mitchell :

Hello. Hi, hi. We've just adopted her from Vietnam and we're bringing her home

for the first time.

Man :

She's an angel. You and you're wife must be thrilled!

Cameron :

Sorry, sorry, sorry, Daddy needed snacks. Hi! So, what are we talking about?

Mitchell :

We have been together for... five, five years now? And we've decided we really

wanted to have a baby... so, we initially asked one of our lesbian friends to be a surrogate.

Cameron :

Then we figured, they are already mean enough. Can you imagine one of them

pregnant? No, thank you. Ekk...

Mitchell

:

You

saw

that

right?

Everybody

fondling

up

to

Lillian,

then

you

walk

on...

and

suddenly it's all

Cameron :

You are not giving a speech ... you gonna stuck with this people for the next five

hours!

Mitchell :

You're right, it's okay, I'm sorry.

Woman :

Honey, look at that baby with those creampuffs.

Mitchell :

Okay, excuse me. Excuse me, but this baby would have grown up in a crowded

orphanage if it wasn't for us creampuffs ... and you know what, to all of you who judge, hear

this, love knows no race...

Cameron :

Mitchell!

Mitchell :

... creed or gender and shame on you! You small minded, ignorant fe...

Cameron :

Mitchell!!

Mitchell :

What?

Cameron :

She's got the creampuffs.

Mitchell :

Oh!

Cameron :

We would like to pay for everyone's headsets.

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[MODERN FAMILY - SEASON 1 EPISODE 1]

Phil :

Buddy, why do you keep getting stuck like this?

Luke :

I thought I could get out this time.

Alex :

I'm just gonna say it... he needs to be checked by a specialist.

Phil :

There! Be free, Excalibur!

Haley :

I'm having a friend over today.

Claire :

Who?

Haley :

You don't know him.

Claire :

Him... Him?

Luke :

Oeh, a boy! You gonna kiss him?

Haley :

Shut up!

Phil :

Easy. Easy.

Alex:

You don't even...

Claire :

Luke, Alex, why don't you take it outside, okay?

Alex:

And do what?

Phil :

Fighting a son, it would be a nice change. I'm kidding!

Claire :

Haley! Who's the boy?

Haley :

His name is Dylan ... You know, I might as well just tell him not to come, because you

guys are just going to embarrass me again.

Claire :

Honey! Hang on a second, you're fifteen, it's the first time you've had a boy over. I

mean I'm bound to be a little surprised, but... We're not gonna embarrass you!

Phil :

I'm better go charge the camcorder. I'm kidding! Come on! Who are you talking to?

Phil :

I'm a cool dad. That's... that's my thang. I'm hype, I surf the web, I text. LOL, Laugh Out

Loud, OMG, Oh My God, WTF, Why The Face. You know, I know all the dances to High School

Musical, so...

Alex:

MOM! DAD!

Claire :

What happened?

Alex:

Luke just shot me!

Luke :

I didn't mean to!

Claire :

Are you okay?

Alex:

No, the little bitch shot me!

Claire :

Language!

Luke :

They're only plastic bb's! It was an accident!

Claire :

What did I tell you what happened if you got him a gun? Deal with this!

Phil :

Buddy... Uncool.

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Claire :

That's it? No, no, no, the agreement was that, if he shoots someone ... you shoot him.

Phil :

We were serious about that?

Claire :

Yes, we were and now you have to follow through.

Luke :

I'm so sorry!

Claire :

Liar. Go!

Phil :

But he's got a birthday party.

Alex:

What's more important here dad?

Claire :

You can shoot him afterwards, he'll be home at two.

Phil :

I can't shoot him at two, showing a house at two.

Alex:

What about three?

Claire :

No, he's at a soccer game at three, and then... Oh, we gotta leave for that dinner

thing in five. 4:15, you can shoot him at 4:15.

Phil :

Yeah, I guess that works for me.

Claire :

Phil

: Sorry dude, it's on the calendar

Luke :

Oh, come on!

Manny :

I'm quitting soccer, it is a game for children.

Gloria :

No, you're not quitting. You would have stopped that goal if you weren't staring at

that little girl.

Manny :

She is not a girl, She is a woman.

Jay :

You know Gloria, that blowup with that other mom, why do you have to do things like

that?

Gloria :

If someone says something about my family, I'm going to...

Jay :

I'm just ... saying you could take it down here a little bit, that's all.

Gloria :

Well yeah, coz' that's when you live down here ... but I live up here!

Jay :

You don't have to be so emotional all the time, that's all I'm saying! Manny, you're with

me on this, right?

Manny :

I wanna tell Brenda Feldman I love her.

Jay :

Oh, for God's sake.

Gloria :

Honey, she's 16.

Manny :

Oh, it's okay for you to take an older lover?

Jay :

Hey! Watch it!

Manny :

I want to go to the mall where she works. But first we need to get my white shirt,

the silk one.

Gloria :

Okay, if that's what you really want to do.

,.

Jay :

Seriously, not to be the evil stepdad, but if you put on a puffy white shirt and declare

your love for a 16 year old, you're gonna be swinging from the flagpole in your puffy white

underpants!

Manny :

Stop the car!

Gloria :

Where are you going? You see? You hurt his feelings.

Jay :

Well, if it toughens him up a little bit, then ... oh, jeez, he's picking flowers!

Gloria :

Manny is very passionate, just like his father. My first husband is very handsome but,

too crazy. It seemed like all what we did was, fight and make love, fight and make love, fight

and make love. One time, I'm not kidding you, we fell out the window together.

Jay

: Which one were you doing? I'm hearing this for the first time!

Mitchell

: This doesn't worry you? She barely slept in the plane, and she's still wide awake.

Cameron :

Oh, stop worrying!

Mitchell :

But Cam, That orphanage, it was all women. Maybe she can't fall asleep unless

she feels a woman's shape.

Cameron :

I guess that's possible.

Mitchell :

So, here.

Cameron :

What the hell is that suppose to mean?

Cameron :

Yes, I've gained a few extra pounds while we were expecting the baby... which

has been very difficult. But, apparently you're body does a nesting, very maternal, primal...

thing, were it retains nutrients. Some sort of molecular physiology thing. But that's science,

you can't, you can't fight it, so...

Mitchell :

I'm not saying anything.

Cameron :

You're saying everything.

Mitchell :

Count to three, one, t...

Cameron :

Three!

Mitchell :

Okay. Oh Cam!

Cameron :

Oh My God, do you love it?

Mitchell :

Yes, I... What the hell is that?

Cameron :

I had Andre do it when we we're gone.

Mitchell :

Is that us? With wings?

Cameron :

We're floating above her, always there to protect her.

Mitchell :

Well, that's reassuring, right Lily? Yeah, we tore you away from everything you

know but don't worry, things are normal here. You're fathers are floating fairies! Can you call

,.

Andre? Have him paint something a little less... gay? By the way, We need to stop having

friends with names like Andre.

Cameron :

Redheaded dad is angry daddy.

Mitchell :

No I'm not.

Cameron :

Yes, you are. Even Pepper pointed it out on the way home from the airport.

Mitchell :

Okay, that's another one, Pepper!

Cameron :

Okay, what's up?

Mitchell :

Alright, look... I ... I never told my family we were adopting a baby.

Cameron :

I know.

Mitchell :

You do?

Cameron :

Ya, And I don't blame you, I know your family. You tell them, they say something

judgmentally.

Mitchell :

Exactly!

Cameron :

You get mad.

Mitchell :

I know, and what's supposed to be nothing, but joyful suddenly turns into this

huge fight.

Cameron :

And who wants a big emotional scene like that?

Mitchell :

Thank you, I'm so relieved you understand.

Cameron :

I invited them over for dinner tonight.

Mitchell :

What?

Cameron :

I had to! This would have gone on forever. You're an avoider.

Mitchell :

No, no! Cam, I'm calling them now, I'm cancelling.

Cameron :

No, you're not! You're telling your family you've adopted a baby, tonight. And

you do have avoiding issues! Even Angelo said so.

Mitchell :

Are you really not hearing these things?

Haley :

Don't answer it, I'll get it!

Claire :

Hi! Hey, you must be Dylan.

Phil :

Hey, Dylan, yeah.

Claire :

: I'm Haley's mother.

Haley :

Hey, come on, let's go.

Claire :

Hang on one second. Dylan... You're still in High School?

Dylan :

Yeah, I

’

m a Senior.

Claire :

Phil, sweetie, honey. He is Dylan and he is a have to scare him.

Phil :

Let me meet this playa. Phil Dunphy, yo!