父母有说“不”的权力吗？

The Power of Parents Who Say 'No'

父母有说“不”的权力吗？

I grew up in an affluent area. Most kids owned multiple Cabbage Patch dolls

and Gear bags and pairs of Jordache jeans (not to mention the beloved Atari

2600). I certainly had enough, but it felt like all of my peers possessed more. I

wanted

Benetton

sweaters

and

a

cool

bike.

I

wanted

to

take

trips

to

Mexico

over Christmas break and come back with a bronze tan. I wanted to impress

people with a fancy car, not the red Datsun 510 parked in our driveway.

我在富人区长大，

那里的孩子差不多都有 好几个椰菜娃娃、

好几个户外装备包和

好几条

< br>Jordache

牌子的牛仔裤（更不用说让人爱不释手的雅达利

2600

游戏机

了）

。我的东 西当然不算少，但我还是觉得别的孩子比我东西多。我想要一件贝

纳通毛衣和一辆很酷的 自行车，我想在圣诞节去墨西哥玩，把全身晒成古铜色。

我还想要一辆惊艳四邻的炫酷轿 车，而不是停在我家车道上的那辆红色

Datsun

510

。

As

I

got

older,

I

didn't

merely

crave

material

items-I

wanted

freedom.

On

weekends, my friends' parents left them alone in their apartments while they

went elsewhere. I was never left unattended until I went to college. My friends

had no curfew. I had to be home by midnight. Plus, my mom watched me like

a hawk.

随着年龄渐长，

我就 不再只追求物质上的东西，

我还想要自由。

我的朋友们每到

周末就有机会在父母外出的时候单独在家，可我在上大学以前从没有“独守空

房”的时候。我的朋友多晚回家都没事，我必须在晚上

12

点前到家，还有，我

妈妈看管我像看管犯人一样。

As a teenager, I felt humiliated, uncool, and angry. Why couldn't my mom just

be like the other parents? In my world, one was popular if she had the right

haircut

and

could

stay

out

late.

My

mom,

however,

refused

to

budge.

She

stuck to her guns, and I begrudged her throughout my adolescence.

我那时候青春年少，觉得自己没面子，是个土妞，我感到很生气。为什么我妈就

不能 像别人父母那样呢？在我眼里，

如果一个女孩子发型正点，

能在 外面待到很

晚才回家，

她就会很受欢迎。

但我妈在这点上拒绝让步，

不容半点讨价还价的余

地，这让我 在整个青春期都十分记恨她。

Fast-forward some 25 years. Now I'm the parent and I get to decide the rules.

Do I buy Uggs for my preschooler? Should my fifth grader get the new iPhone

5? Will I allow my daughter to walk home from school with the other kids? Is

she old enough to roam the mall solo? < /p>

看看

25

年后的我，有了自己的孩子，成 了定规矩的人了。我会给没上学的孩子

买

Ugg

雪地靴吗？我会给上五年级的孩子买新款

iPhone 5

吗？我会让自己女儿

和其他同学一起从学校走回家吗？她到了可以独自一人逛商场的 年龄了吗？

It isn't especially hard for my husband and I to decide what we think are the

right

choices

for

our

children.

No,

the

challenge

is

having

to

deal

with

the

unhappy

child

when

he/she

doesn't

get

what

he/she

wants,

especially

when

the other kids do.

我和丈夫都觉得，让 我们决定哪些事情孩子该做，哪些不该做，这不太难。难就

难在自己孩子想要的东西得不 到，别的孩子却能得到，孩子不高兴了怎么办？

As a parent, this battle has been going on a long time. In her pre-school class,

several

of

my

daughter's

little

friends

wore

Ugg

boots.

When

I

got

a

hand-me-down knock-off pair, my daughter turned up her nose. 'These aren't

Uggs, ' she snapped. '

为人父母的我们很早就遇到了这种情况。

在女儿上学前，

她 的几个幼儿园小朋友

都穿着

Ugg

的靴 子。当我拿回家一双山寨版的旧靴子时，女儿十分不屑，恼怒