chapter 6 overcoming translationese

Chapter 6

Overcoming Translationese

克服翻译腔

1. Pedagogical translation (

教学翻译

)and translation pedagogy(

翻译教学

)

Pedagogical translation:

a

teaching/pedagogical

method;

teaching

language

through

translation;

e.g. so

?

that

如此??以至于??

T

ranslation pedagogy:

first

and

foremost

a

course;

training

and

improving

students’

translation

ability;

enabling

students to acquire ability to render services to the society.

Translationese is largely due to pedagogical translation, eg.

so… that…

2. Overcoming translationese:

1

）

Overcoming one-to one equivalent: (

克服语义对等一对一）

e.g

good soil

肥沃的土壤

;

good eggs

新鲜鸡蛋

;

good stories

有趣的故事

;

Good excuse

巧妙的托辞

The ticket is good for one month.

有效期

2) Changing from cohesion to coherence, i.e. from hypotactic to paratactic:

hypotactic: connecting language elements through cohesive devices;

paratactic

connecting through meaning.

As the snow begins to melt in the spring, everything begins to awaken.

当春天来临积雪消融的时候，万物开始苏醒。

Improved:

春天来临，积雪消融，万物开始苏醒。

While such honey-dew f

ell, such silence reigned, such gloaming gathered……

在这样蜜露降临，这样万籁俱寂，暮色渐浓的时候，??

Improved

：甘露洒落，万籁俱寂，暮色渐浓，??

We

guessed

what

the

students

at

West

Point

might

be

doing

as

we

passed;

the

institution

looked so mysteriously vast, twinkling in the gloaming, high up on the hills.

火车经过西点军校时，

西点军校位 于高高的山坡上，

在苍茫的暮色中闪闪烁烁，显得神秘而广大。

Once again, the idea worked so well that word got around…

这一招果然奏效，消息再一次不胫而走。

I had not gone a mile before I felt tired.

没有走到一英里路，我已经疲倦了。

3)

Overcoming

the

structure

of

the

English

sentence,

find

out

the

logical

relations

between the sentence components.

Business took me to town.

原译：公事把我带进了城里。

Improved

：我因公事进城去 了。

He would be a rash man who should venture to defy world public opinion and act arbitrarily.

如果有人胆敢 公然蔑视世界公众舆论而一意孤行

,

那他一定是个卤莽之徒。< /p>

Don’t you feel it strange that she should be so much ungrateful to Jack, who did so much for her

when she was in poverty?

杰克在她困难时帮了她那么多，她却对杰克如此忘恩负义，你不觉得 奇怪吗？

4) Don’ t seek formal correspondence. Understandin

g the ST thoroughly.

Our son must go to school. He must break out of the pot that holds us in.

我们的儿子一定要上学

,

一定要出人头地。

Don’t cough more than you can help.

能不咳，就不咳。

5) Don’t copy dictionary

.

37

I

believe

then

that

I

would

die

there,

and

I saw with

a

terrible

clarity

the

things

of

the

valley below.

那时， 我觉得我要死在那儿了，下面山谷里的景致看得异常清晰。

He stopped. It was a clear and obvious invitation, just as he remembered the same invitation once

before.

他停下来，这明显是邀请，他记得以前也有过同样的邀请。

6) Be careful with using pronouns:

English: more pronouns

Chinese: omit pronouns or repeat nouns.

《红楼梦》第十五回中的一段：

话说宝玉举目见北静王世荣??真好秀丽人物。

宝玉忙抢上前来参见。

世容忙从轿内

伸出手搀住，见 宝玉??面若桃花，目如点漆。北静王笑道：

“名不虚传，果然如宝似玉。

”

问：

“衔的那宝贝在哪里？”宝玉见问，连忙?? 取出，递与北静王细细地看了，又念了那

上头的字，因问：

“果 灵验否？”贾政忙道：

“??未曾试过。

”北静王亲自与宝玉带 上，又

携手问宝玉几岁，现读何书。宝玉一一答应。北静王见他语言清朗??又向贾政笑 道??

本段名词与代词的使用比例为

15

：

1

If a computer can be made complex enough, it can be as creative as we. If it could be made as

complex as a human brain, it could be the equivalent of a human brain and do whatever a human

brain can do.

如果电脑能造得足够复杂，

就能像我们人一样富于创造力，

如果电脑能造得像人脑一样复杂，

就能与人脑旗鼓相当，做人脑所能做的一切。

Health is above wealth, for this cannot give so much happiness as that.

健康比财富更重要，

因为财富不能像健康那样给人们带来幸福。

He hated failure; he had conquered it all his life, risen above it, and despised it in others.

他讨厌失败，他一生中曾战胜失败，超越失败，并且藐视别人的失败。

They are good questions, because they call

for thought-provoking answers.

这些问题问得好，要回答就得好好动一下脑筋。

7) Paying attention to the logic of translation:

避免逻辑混乱，不合情理

After all, all living creatures live by feeding on something else, whether it be plant or animal,

dead or alive.

所有动物毕竟都是靠吃别的东西来生存的

,

不管这些东西是植物还是动物

,

是死的还是活的。

Y

our abilities count, but the belief that you can succeed affects

whether or

not you will.”

??你将成功的信念将影响你是否成功。

你的能力固然重要，但有无必胜的信念将决定你是否成功。

8)

Asking two questions constantly:

Will Chinese people speak in this way?

if I say in this way, can Chinese people who don’t know English understand what if mean?

Will they think my language awkward and strange?

Principles in overcoming translationese:

observe the TL habits; compare the SL and TL to improve

proficiency in the use of TL.

Practice

：

1. He is so lazy and greedy that there is no way to get along with him.

2. At Eton the boys stand in cluster and lift their hats when their names are called.

3. Lulled by the gentle motion of the boat and soothed by the rippling waves music of the waves

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