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Family problems?
Two men, one American and an Indian
were sitting in a bar drinking shot
after shot.
The
Indian
man
said
to
the
American,
'You
know
my
parents
are
forcing
me
to get
married to this so called homely girl from a
village whom I
haven'teven met once.'
We call this arranged marriage. I don't want to
marry a
woman
whom I don't love... I told them that openly and
now have a hell
lot of family
problems.'
The
American
said,
Talking
about
love
marriages...
I'll
tell
you
my
story.
I
married
a
widow
whom
I
deeply
loved
and
dated
for
3
years.
'After
a
couple
of years, my father
fell in love with my step-daughter and married
her,
so
my
father
became
my
son-in-
law
and
I
became
my
father's
father-in-law.
Legally now my daughter is my mother
and my wife my grandmother.
More problems occurred when I had a
son. My son is my father's brother
and
so he is my uncle.
Situations
turned
worse
when
my
father
had
a
son.
Now
my
father's
son
i.e.
my
brother
is
my
grandson.
Ultimately,
I
have
become my
own
grand
father
and I am my own grandson.. And you say
you have family problems..
1.
Count to one
Hundred Before You Speak
In class,the teacher,with his back
leaning against the
stove,said to the
students,
speak,you should think and
count to at least 50,and for important matters to
100.
No sooner had the
teacher stopped talking than the students began to
count.
at last
all the students shouted together,
数到一百再说
课堂上，老师背靠火炉站着，对学生们说：
“
说话前要三思
，起码数到
50
，重要的事情
要数到一
百。
”
老
师的话音刚落，学生立刻从
“1”
开始数起来。最后一起喊：<
/p>
“98
，
99
，
100
！老师，您的
衣服着火了。
”
Advantage of Alcohol
In
order to prove the harmful effect of alcohol,the
teacher put a bug into a glass
filled
with
alcohol,soon the bug died. The
teacher asked a student,
The
student answered,
酒的好处
为了证明酒精对生物的危害，
老师把一只虫子放入装有酒精的杯子里，
< br>虫子很快就死了。
老师问一个学生：
“
< br>这说明了什么？
”
学生答道：
“
说明人多喝酒，就不会长虫子。<
/p>
”
ge
the Tortoise for the Wolf
Teacher:Some
students
are
becoming
you
remember
the
story
about
race
between the
hare and the
tortoise?Now,Xiaoming,will you please tell
us why the hare was
defeated
by the tortoise?
Xiaoming:Because the hare fell asleep.
Teacher:Absolutely
right!What should we do so that the hare won't
fall asleep?
Xiaoming:Exchange the tortoise for the
wolf.
把乌龟换成狼
老师：有些同学开始骄傲了，大家还记得龟兔赛跑的故事吗。
小明，你说说看，兔子为
什么输给乌龟？
小明：因为它睡觉了。
老师：对极了！我们应该怎么做才能让兔子不睡觉呢？
小明：把乌龟换成狼！
搞笑电脑问题大全：能帮我重启网络吗？
Computer
help
desks
are
used
to
fielding
oddball
requests
but
sometimes
the
questions
leave
even the best of them
stumped.
Such
as:
Or:
Then there was the questioner who
asked:
Robert Half
Technology, a provider of information technology
professionals
based in Menlo Park,
California,
asked
1,400
chief
information
officers
from
companies
across
the
United
States
to
come up
with the most baffling questions their help desks
or technical support teams
had ever
received. Among the
more unusual were:
--
--
--
--
--
Then
there
was
the
computer
user
who
confused
the
CD-ROM
drive
with
a
drink
holder
and
asked:
Katherine
Spencer
Lee,
executive
director
of
Robert
Half
Technology,
said
such
queries
were
a
test of the skills of the
help and technical support desks.
highlight the need for
technical support personnel
to also
demonstrate
patience, empathy and a
sense of humor,
帮用户解决电脑问题是电脑技术支持的主要职责，但有时用户提的问题甚至把
IT
精英们都
给难倒了。
比如：
“
为
什么我的无线鼠标没连在电脑上？
”
再如：
“
能帮我重启一下网络吗？
”
还有人会问
：
“
在哪能下载追踪
UFO
的软件？
”
总部位于加州门罗园的
“
罗伯特
1
/
2”IT
咨询公司日前对
美国各地的
1400
位公司
IT
主管进行了
一项调查，让他们列出公司的技术咨询或支持部门所遇到的
“
最难回答
”
的问题。其中包括：
“
电脑提示：请按任意键继续。这个任意键在哪？
”
“
你能将键盘按字母顺序重排吗？<
/p>
”
“
我女儿被锁在浴室了，你能开锁吗？
”
“
能不能帮我查查明年的天气预报？
”
“
能帮我在电脑上安装有线电视吗？
”
还有一位用户将光盘驱动器（
CD-
ROM
）与一种杯架混淆了，问曰：
“
怎么把电脑上的咖啡杯
架弄出来？
”
“
罗伯特
1
/
2”IT
咨询公司的执行官凯瑟琳<
/p>
?
斯宾塞
?
李说
，这些问题对于技术人员来说的确是
个考验。
她说：
“
技
术人员在解答这些问题时，一定要有耐心，要理解用户，还要有些幽默感。
”
?
Fresh Richer
A
fresh
richer
is
purchasing
coffin
in
the
store
for
the
death
．
A
person
asks
him
：“Which one is better？”He says：“Of
course the zinc1)
－
filled
is
more
durable2)
，
but
the
wooden
is
helpful
to
the
health
．”
新
贵
一个新
贵在墓葬品商店选购他死时要用的棺材，有人问他：“最好买哪一
种？”他说：“镀锌的
棺材当然比较耐用，但木制棺材有益于健康。”
NOTE
注释：
1. zinc n.
锌
vt.
涂锌于
.
2. durable adj.
持久的
,
耐用的
?
?
The
reds or the greens
？
Two
apples
up
in
a
tree
were
looking
down
on
the
world
．
The
first
apple
said
，“Look at all those
people fighting，
robbing
，
rioting
－－
no
one
seems
willing
to
get
along
with
his
fellow
man
．
Some
day
we
apples
will
be
the
only
ones
left
．
Then
we'll
rule
the
world
．”Replied
the
second
apple
，“Which of us －－
the
reds or the greens
？”
红的还是绿的？
树上的
两只苹果俯瞰着世界。
第一只苹果说：
“瞧瞧这些人吧，
争斗、
抢劫、
骚乱——似乎就没有人愿意与别
的人好好相处。总有一天，我们苹果就会成
为世上惟一的幸存者。
到那时我们就将统治世界。
”第二只苹果回答说：
“我
们中的哪些呢——红的还是绿的？”
本文无注释
?
?
You don’t have
to pay for lightning
Teacher
：
Who can
tell me the difference between lightning and
electricity
？
Student
：You don’
t have to pay for lightning.
闪电不用付钱
老师：谁能告诉我闪电与电的区别？
学生：闪电不用付钱。
本文无注释
?
H o n e s t y
A
man
who
is
driving
a
car
stopped
by
a
police
officer
．
The
following
exchange takes
place
．．．
Man
：
What's the pr
oblem
，
officer
？
Officer
：
You were
going at least
７５
in a
５５
zone
．
Man
：
N
o
，
sir
，
I was going
６５．
Wife
：
Oh
，
Harry
．
You were
going
８０．（
Man gives his wife
a dirty
look
．）
Officer
：
I'
m
also
going
to
give
you
a
ticket
for
your
broken
taillight
．
Man
：
Broken
taillight
？
I didn't know
about a broken taillight
。
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