CONVERSATION AS COMMUNICATION

Insults

are

ineffective.

If

you

call

people

names,

then

they

are

unlikely

to

actually

listen

to what you have to say; in the short term you may feel some relief at

off your chest

are not addressing it. This is common sense. There are two implications. Firstly, even

under

pressure,

you

have

to

remember

this.

Secondly,

what

you

consider

fair

comment

may be insulting to

another

- and the same problem emerges.

Before

you

say

anything

, stop, establish what you want as the outcome, plan how to achieve this,

and then speak.

Finally, if

you are going to criticise or discipline someone, always

assume that

you

have misunderstood the situation and ask questions first which check the facts. This

simple courtesy will save you from much embarrassment.

Seeking Information

There are two ways of phrasing any question: one way (the closed question) is likely

to lead to a simple grunt in reply (yes, no, maybe), the second way (the open question)

will hand over the speaking role to someone else and force them to say something a

little more informative.

Suppose you conduct a review of a recently finished (?) project with Gretchen and it

goes something like this:

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

Before

your

fingers

start

twitching

to

place

themselves

around

Gretchen's

neck,

consider

that

your

questions

are

not

actually

helping

the

flow

of

information.

The

same flow of questions in an

open

format would be: what is left to do of project X,

what about the documentation, when will that be completely finished? Try answering

Yes or No to those questions.

Open questions are extremely easy to formulate. You establish in your own mind the

topic/aim of the question and then you start the sentence with the words:

WHAT - WHEN - WHICH - WHY - WHERE -

HOW

Let others speak

Of course, there is more to a conversation (managed or otherwise) than the flow of

information. You may also have to win that information by winning the attention and

confidence of the other person. There are many forms of flattery - the most effective

is to give people your interest. To get Gretchen to give you all her knowledge, you

must

give

her

all

your

attention;

talk

to

her

about

her

view

on

the

subject.

Ask

questions: what do you think about that idea, have you ever met this problem before,

how would you tackle this situation?

Silence is effective - and much under-used. People are nervous of silence and try to

fill it. You can use this if you are seeking information. You ask the question, you lean

back,

the

person

answers,

you

nod

and

smile,

you

keep

quiet,

and

the

person

continues with more detail simply to fill your silence.

To finish

At

the

end

of

a

conversation,

you

have

to

give

people

a

clear

understanding

of

the

outcome. For instance, if there has been a decision, restate it clearly (just to be sure)

in

terms

of

what

should

happen

and

by

when;

if

you

have

been

asking

questions,

summarize the significant (for you) aspects of what you have learnt.

MEETING MANAGEMENT - PREPARATION

In any organization,

flow of information. They act as a mechanism for gathering together resources from

many sources and pooling then towards a common objective. They are disliked and

mocked because they are usually futile, boring, time-wasting, dull, and inconvenient

with nothing for most people to do

except doodle while some opinionated has-been

extols the virtues of his/her last great (misunderstood) idea. Your challenge is to break

this mould and to make your meetings effective. As with every other managed activity,

meetings

should

be

planned

beforehand,

monitored

during

for

effectiveness,

and

reviewed afterwards for improving their management.

A

meeting

is

the

ultimate

form

of

managed

conversation;

as

a

manager,

you

can

organize

the

information

and

structure

of

the

meeting

to

support

the

effective

communication

of

the

participants.

Some

of

the

ideas

below

may

seem

a

little

too

precise

for

an

easy

going,

relaxed,

semi-informal

team

atmosphere

-

but

if

you

manage to gain a reputation for holding decisive, effective meetings, then people will

value

this

efficiency

and

to

prepare

professionally

so

that

their

contribution

will

be

heard.

Should you cancel?

As with

all conversations,

you must first ask:

is

it worth

your time?

If the meeting

involves

the

interchange

of

views

and

the

communication

of

the

current

status

of

related projects, then you should be generous with your time. But you should always

consider canceling a meeting which has little tangible value.

Who should attend?

You must be strict. A meeting loses its effectiveness if too many people are involved:

so if someone has no useful function, explain this and suggest that they do not come.

Notice,

they

may

disagree

with

your

assessment,

in

which

case

they

should

attend

(since

they

may

know

something

you

do

not);

however,

most

people

are

only

too

happy to be released from yet another meeting.

How long?

It may seem difficult to predict the length of a discussion - but you must. Discussions

tend to fill the available time which means that if the meeting is open-ended, it will

drift

on

forever.

You

should

stipulate

a

time

for

the

end

of

the

meeting

so

that

everyone knows, and everyone can plan the rest of their day with confidence.

It is wise to make this expectation known to everyone involved well in advance and to

remind

them

at

the

beginning

of

the

meeting.

There

is

often

a

tendency

to

view

meetings as a little relaxation since no one person has to be active throughout. You

can

redress

this

view

by

stressing

the

time-scale

and

thus

forcing

the

pace

of

the

discussion:

If

some

unexpected

point

arises

during

the

meeting

then

realize

that

since

it

is

unexpected: 1)

you might not have the right people present, 2) those there may not

have the necessary information, and 3) a little thought might save a lot of discussion.

If the new discussion looks likely to be more than a few moments, stop it and deal

with the agreed agenda. The new topic should then be dealt with at another

meeting.

Agenda

The purpose of an agenda is

to inform

participants

of the subject

of the meeting in

advance,

and

to

structure

the

discussion

at

the

meeting

itself.

To

inform

people

beforehand, and to solicit ideas, you should circulate a draft agenda and ask for notice

of

any

other

business.

Still

before

the

meeting,

you

should

then

send

the

revised

agenda

with

enough

time

for

people

to

prepare

their

contributions.

If

you

know

in

advance

that

a

particular

participant

either

needs

information

or

will

be

providing

information, then make this

explicitly

clear so that there is no confusion.

The

agenda

states

the

purpose

of

each

section

of

the

meeting.

There

will

be

an

outcome

from

each

section.

If

that

outcome

is

so

complex

that

it

can

not

be