-
-Sheldon: In the winter, that seat is close
enough to the radiator to remain warm,
冬天的时候，这个地方离电暖器最近，很暖和，
and yet not so close as to cause
perspiration;
也不会很热到直流汗。
in the summer, it's directly in the
path of a cross-breeze created by opening windows
there,
and there.
夏天的时候，这里又
刚好可以吹过堂风，是来自这扇窗户和那扇的。
It
faces the television at an angle that is neither
direct, thus discouraging conversation,
而且坐这里看电视的角度，可以直接看，又不会影响谈话，
nor so far wide as to create a parallax
distortion.
不会太远，不至于造成脖子过分扭曲。
I could go on, but I think I've made my
point.
我可以继续，我想我已经说明白了。
别老记着
?
这能忘得掉吗
?
Forget?
You want me to forget?
我这脑子
啥东西忘得掉啊
!
This
mind does not forget.
从我妈给我断奶后
我就没忘掉过一件事
I
haven't forgotten a single thing since the day my
mother stopped breastfeeding me.
-
那天是周二
下着毛毛雨
-
好了
...
- It was a
drizzly Tuesday. - Okay...
你哭什么
Why are you
crying?
我哭我自己蠢啊
Because I'm stupid!
那也没理由哭啊
That's
no reason to cry.
人只有悲伤的时候才该哭
One
cries because one is sad.
比如说
其他人都太蠢我感到悲伤
For
example, I cry because others are stupid
所以我才哭
我和许多女生交往过
Well,I've dated plenty of women.
Joyce Kim
还有
Leslie
Winkle...
There was Joyce Kim...
Leslie Winkle...
通知牛津英语词典的编辑们
Notify the editors of the Oxford
English Dictionary.
许多
现在被重新定义为
两个<
/p>
The word
Sheldon
你是个聪明人
Sheldon,you are a smart guy.
-
你得知道
-
我是
聪明
人
- You must know... - I'm
要被归为
聪明人
<
/p>
我得去掉
60
点智商才行
I'd have to lose 60 IQ points to
be classified as
- Dr.
Gablehauser. - Dr. Koothrappali.
- Dr.
Gablehauser. - Dr. Hofstader.
- Dr.
Gablehauser. - Dr. Cooper.
- Dr.
Gablehauser. - tz.
我是硕士
I have a Master's degree.
谁不是
?
Who
doesn't?
多年来
我们一直潜心
试图探究他将如何繁衍后代
Over the years,we've formulated many
theories about how he might reproduce.
我主张的是有丝分裂
I'm an
advocate of mitosis.
什么
?
I'm sorry?
我相信
总有一天
当
Sheldon
吃到
一定量的泰国菜
I
believe one day Sheldon will eat an enormous
amount of Thai food
他就会分裂成两个
Sheldon
and split into two Sheldons.
另一方面
我在想
Sheldon
可能
是他这个物种的幼虫状态
On
the other hand,I think Sheldon might be the larval
form of his species,
有一天他会做茧
不出俩月
就破茧成蝶
and
someday he'll spin a cocoon and emerge two months
later with moth wings and an
exoskeleton.
Howard
电话在响
!
Howard,the phone is ringing!
我有个疯狂的主意
老妈
接电话如何
!
Here's a
crazy idea,Ma: Answer it!
你好
?
Hello?
好的
稍等
All right,hold on.
是你朋友
Leonard!
It's your friend,Leonard!
他想知道你为什么今天没去上学
!
He wants to know why you're not at
school today!
我不是去上学
老妈
我在大学就职
I don't
go to school,Ma. I work at a university.
那就是学校
!
快接电话
!
That's a
school! Now pick up the phone!
我谁都不想理
I don't
want to talk to anybody.
要我叫
Leonard
把你的家庭作业带来吗
?
Should I ask Leonard to bring over your
homework? !
我没什么家庭作业的
I
don't have homework.
我是个拥有工程学硕士的大爷们
I'm a grown man with a master's degree
in engineering!
抱歉
了不起先生
Excuse
me,Mr. Fancy-Pants.
想吃冰棒吗
?
Want me to get you a Popsicle?
樱桃味的
好吧
!
Cherry,please!
樱桃味的我吃了
只剩蔬菜味的了
I ate
the cherry. All that's left is green.
你让我真想自杀呀
You
make me want to kill myself.
< br>她是位女生，她也是位朋友，但她不是我的，请原谅我做这个动作，
女朋友
She's a girl. She's
a is not my-
please forgive me for
doing this--
哼
我不喜欢虫子
怎么啦
Yeah,well,I
don't like bugs,okay?
它们让我害怕
They
freak me out.
有趣
Interesting
你既怕虫子又怕女人
You're
afraid of insects and women.
瓢虫
[
英文
:
女士
+
虫
]<
/p>
还不得把你吓昏了
Ladybugs
must render you catatonic.
不然你怎么考试
How else
are you gonna study for the tests?
最好还要考试吗
There's
gonna be a test?
可不止一次考试
Test-sss.
Sheldon
我看到你在为
Smithsonian
So,Sheldon,I see you're organizing your
papers
傻冒儿博物馆赶论文呢
for the Smithsonian Museum of
Dumbassery.
在撤下
Leslie
Winkle
的永久展览前
那里没有多余的展厅
There
won't be any room until they get rid of the
permanent Leslie Winkle exhibit.
我和
Sheldon
谈过了
他也不好受
Um,I
talked to Sheldon and he feels terrible and he
agrees
他也觉得自己无理取闹
有些过分了
that he
was unreasonable and out of line.
真的
?
很好呀
Really? Well,that's great.
就给他道个小歉嘛
?
Yeah,so just apologize to him,okay?
那么
你和她
...
So,you
and her...
-
没啦
普通邻居而已
-
真的
?
- No,just
neighbors. - Really.
隔壁住着这样的妞儿
怎么都不行动啊
I don't
know how you live next door to that without doing
something about it.
其实
...
科学才是我的女神
Actually... science is my lady.
那年
是
1995
年
The year was 1995.
地点是
密西西比州首府
杰克逊
The place:
Jackson,Mississippi.
我坐了整整十个小时的汽车
Having spent ten hours on a bus,
途中甚至两次违反了我自己定下的规定
During which I had to twice violate my
personal rule
在行驶的车辆上
上了厕所
Against
relieving myself on board a moving vehicle...
等我终于到达
I finally
arrived
第四届美国南部星舰迷年度大会现场
At the fourth annual Dixie-Trek
convention
却发现我的偶像威尔
?
惠顿上别处玩去了
Only to find
that my idol Wil Wheaton decided he had
决定不过来帮我的超级英雄玩具签名了
Better things to do than to show up and
sign my Action Figure.
什么
What?
你背弃了我
威尔
?
惠顿
You betrayed me,Wil Wheaton.
现在
我的复仇来了
Now I
have my revenge.
No,no,I
understand.
要是我奶奶有个三长两短
Anything happened to my mee-maw,
我肯定成了伤心欲绝的小甜派
I'd be one inconsolable moon pie.
我得澄清一下
I should
clarify that statement By explaining that she
calls me
我这么说是因为
她叫我
小甜派
By explaining that she calls me
这跟我爸说的完全一样
That's exactly what my father said.
来看球赛吧
去看球赛吧
周复一周的
Week in and week out from the
time
从五岁直到我上大学
I was five until I went off to college.
人生当中最漫长的七年
Longest seven years of my life.
这里乱得简直毫无编制体系而言
I see no organizational system in here
whatsoever.
你周一穿什么内裤
Which panties do you wear on Mondays?
我不要内裤
I don't
need panties.
只要短裤和衬衫
I just need shorts and a shirt.
妈妈经常跟我说
My
mother always told me
一个人要穿干净内裤
one
should wear clean underpants
以防发生意外
in case
one is in an accident.
星星好漂漂啊
Stars are
pretty,aren't they?
在那高高的地方
Up above the world so high.
像天上的小钻石
Like
little diamonds in the sky.
太优美了
兄弟
That's
beautiful,dude.
你应该把这句话写下来
You should... you should write that
down
免得被人山寨了
before someone steals it.
How did you see it?
你说了不看的
You said
you wouldn't look.
不好意思
Sorry.
正如我所说
是英雄
就偷窥
As I told
you,the hero always peeks
你好
克瑞普克
Hello,
Kripke.
你此刻遭遇的经典恶作剧
This classic prank comes to you
来自恶意复仇的谢尔顿
?
库珀
from the malevolent mind of Sheldon
Cooper.
如果你想看看自己那张蠢蛋脸
If you'd like to see the look on your
stupid face,
这段视频即刻就会上传到
YouTube
this video is being instantly uploaded
to YouTube.
并感谢莱纳德
?
< br>霍夫斯塔德和拉杰
?
库萨帕里
Oh, and a hat tip to Leonard Hofstadter
and Raj Koothrappali
感谢他们在复仇大业中对我的支持与鼓励
for their support and encouragement in
this enterprise.
我计划逃回印度去
你呢
实验日志
第一篇
Research
journal, entry one.
我准备开展
I'm about to embark on one of
科学生涯中的巨大挑战之一
the
great challenges of my scientific career:
教佩妮物理学
teaching
Penny physics.
我称之为大猩猩工程
Please,please,I don't have
a lot of time.
听着
Ramona
总算打瞌睡了
你得帮我甩了她
Look,Ramona finally dozed off,and I
need you to help me get rid of her.
甩了她
?
怎么个甩法
?
Get rid
of her how?
我不知道
但显然我正处于某种关系中
I
don't know,but apparently I'm in some kind of
relationship,
而你似乎是终结这类关系的老手
and you seem to be an expert at ending
them.
你说什么
?
Excuse me?
我看见男人们一个接一个从这儿离开
倒是没见过再回来的
I see
man after man leaving this apartment never to
return.
Sheldon
你真的很宽宏大量
谢谢你
我很感激
Sheldon,this was big of you. Thank you.
I really appreciate it.
谢谢
Thank you.
-
晚安
Sheldon -
Penny...
- Good night,Sheldon. -
Penny...
-
啥
? -
你有一手
- Yes? -
Well played.
谢谢
Thank you.
但请记住
能力越大
责任越大
(
出自
)
Just rember: with great power comes
great responsibility.
明白
Understood.
不是厉害
是错误
我没有改我的状态呀
It's
not bold,it's a mistake. I didn't change my
status.
那是谁改的
?
Well,then who did?
我没的选择
他在她面前哭了
I had no
choice. He cried in front of her.
我明白
你这么做觉得自己很大方
但赠送礼物的基础原则是礼尚往来
I know you think you're being
generous,but the foundation of gift-giving is
reciprocity.
你不是给我一份礼物
You haven't given me a gift.
你给了我一份责任
You've
given me an obligation.
别太郁闷
Penny
一般新手都会犯这个错误
Don't feel bad,Penny,it's a classic
rookie mistake.
我和
Sheldon
过的第一个光明节
他吼了我八夜
My first
Hanukah with Sheldon,he yelled at me for eight
nights.
没事的
你用不着回赠礼物的
Now,hey,it's okay. You don't have to
get me anything in return.
我当然得回赠了
Of
course I do.
风俗的精髓就在于
我得去给你买份价值相当的礼物
The essence of the custom is that I now
have to go out and purchase for you a gift of
commensurate value
才能够代表你的礼物
所表达的相同的情意
and
representing the same perceived level of
friendship as that represented by the gift
you've given me.
怪不得每年这个时候
自杀率狂飙呀
It's no
wonder suicide rates skyrocket this time of year.
忘了这事吧
我不会送你礼物了
Okay,you know what? Forget it. I'm not
giving you a present.
不
太迟了
我看见了
No,it's too
late. I see it.
那个精灵贴纸上写着
赠
Sheldon
That elf
sticker says,
就是啊
看别人热闹最乐呵
I know.
It's funny when it's not happening to us.
Sheldon
我真的非常抱歉
Sheldon,I am very,very sorry.
不
我自找的
谁叫我出现在你生命里
又那么可爱
那么举足轻重呢
No. No,I
brought this on myself by being such an endearing
and important par
t of your
life.
我需要有人载我去卖场
I'm going to need a ride to the mall.
风水轮流转
我们该倒霉了
It's
happening to us.
< br>这在
Penny
压力很大的前提下才有用
That presupposes Penny is tense.
她了解你
她会压力很大的
咱不都是嘛
快买礼品篮吧
!
She
knows you. She's tense. We all are. Buy a
basket!
喔
太好了
Penny
你终于来交换礼物了
Ah,good,Penny,you're here to exchange
gifts.
你一定很高兴
因为我的回礼准备很周到哦
You'll be pleased to know I'm prepared
for whatever you have to offer.