英语笑话集锦

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

他赢了

汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？

约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？

约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,

kid bit me,

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈 问，

“发生了什么事？”

“一个男孩咬了我一口，

”伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。

“他走到哪里我都能认出他，

”伊凡 说。

“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。

”

A

Good Boy

Little

Robert

asked

his

mother

for

two

cents.

did

you

do

with

the

money

I

gave

you

yesterday?

ou're

a

good

boy,

said

the

mother

proudly.

are

two cents more.

But

why

are

you so

interested in the old woman?

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，

”他回 答说。

“你真是个好孩子，

”妈妈骄 傲地说。

“再给你两

分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣 呢？”

“她是个卖糖果的。

”

Drunk

One

day,

a father

and

his

little

son were

going

home.

At

this

age,

the

boy was

interested

in

all

kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked,

'Drunk',

dad?

my

son,

his

father

replied,

there

are

standing

two

policemen.

If

I

regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.

醉酒

一天，

父亲与小儿子一道回家。

这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，

老是有提

不完的问题。

他向父亲发问道：

“爸爸，

‘醉’字是什么意思？”

“唔，

”

父亲回答说，

“ 你瞧那儿站着两个警察。

如果我把他们看成了四个，

那么我就算 醉了。

”

“可是，

爸爸，

”

孩子说，

“那儿只有一个警察呀！

”

Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The

little

boy

of

the

family

left

the

room

quietly

for

a

moment

and

returned with

a

piece

of cheese

which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said:

ou

must

have

better

eyes

than

your

mother, sonny.

Where

did

you find

the

cheese?

the

rat-trap, sir,

好客

< /p>

由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，

家里没有奶酪了，

于是女主人向大家表示歉意。

这家的小男孩悄

悄地离开了屋 子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。

客

人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：

“孩子，