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1. Smile

The one-

second tip for when you’re feeling nervous and unconfident

is simply to smile! You don’t just smile because you are happy and

confident

–

you can smile to make yourself feel better. The act of

smiling is so strongly

associated with positive feelings that it’s

almost impossible to feel bad while smiling.

Smiling is much more then just a facial expression. The simple act of

smiling releases feel-good endorphins, improves circulation to the

face, makes you feel good about yourself in general and can

definitely increase your self confidence. … you will also appear

more confident to others while you’re smiling.

2. Make eye contact

As well as smiling, meet the eyes of other people in the room. Give

them your smile; you’ll al

most certainly get one back, and being

smiled at is a great self-confidence boost. Like smiling, eye contact

shows people that you’re confident. Staring at your shoes or at the

table reinforces your feelings of self- doubt and shyness. This tip is

particularly useful for work-related situations

–

make eye contact

with interviewers, or with the audience for your presentation:

Eye contact helps take the fear away from the speaker by getting the

audience closer to him. Stress is mainly a result of being with the

unknown and uncontrollable. Eye contact gives the speaker a picture

of the reality that is the audience. It also helps in getting the

attention of the audience.

3. Change your inner voice

Most of us have a critical inner voice that tells us we’re stupid,

not good enough, that we’re too fat, thin, loud, quiet… Being able

to change that inner voice is key to feeling self-confident on the

inside, which will help you project your confidence to the world.

Make your inner voice a supportive friend who knows you fully but

also recognizes your talents and gifts, and wants you to make the

best of yourself.

You still want to be able to hear the message, so don’t make it so

chilled and laid back that you never take any notice of it. You can

even choose 2, 3 or as many voices as you want for different

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occasions. Your voice should always support you, always be helpful,

never aggressive and it never puts you down.

4. Forget other people’s standards

Whatever the situation that’s causing you a crisis of self

-

confidence, you can help yourself immeasurably by holding yourself to

your own standards alone. Other people have different values from you,

and however hard you try, you’ll never please everyone all of the

time. Don’t worry that people will think you’re too overweight,

underweight, too feckless, too boring, too frugal, too frivolous …

hold yourself to your standards, not some imagined standards

belonging to others. And remember that commonly-held values and

standards vary from society to society: you don’t have to accep

t

them just because the people around you do.

People’s values define what they want personally, but morals define

what the society around those people want for them. Certain behaviors

are considered to be desirable by a given society, while others are

considered to be undesirable. For the most part, however, morals are

not written in stone, or proclaimed by God above, but instead reflect

local sensibilities. Different societies have different ideas about

what is acceptable and not acceptable.

5. Make the most of your appearance

Even if you’ve only got a minute or two, duck into the bathroom to

make sure you’re looking your best. Brushing your hair, giving your

face a good wash, retouching your makeup, straightening your collar,

checking you’ve not got a bit of parsley stuck between your teeth …

all of these can make the difference between feeling confident in

your physical appearance and feeling anxious about an imagined flaw.

Perfect your physical appearance: There’s no denying that one’s

grooming plays a crucial role in building confidence. Although we

know what’s on the inside is what truly counts, your physical

appearance will be the first to create an impression.

6. Pray or meditate briefly

If you believe in a higher power, whether God, or another spiritual

force, it can be a real boost to self- confidence to say a silent

prayer. (You could also meditate instead of praying.) This helps you

to take a step back from your immediate situation, to see the wider

picture and to seek help from something or someone greater than

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yourself. This is a Christian prayer, but you could write something

similar that fits your own religious beliefs or spiritual tradition:

Dear God, thank you that you love and accept me as I am … please

help me to do the same … and help me to g

row to become the person

you want me to be so that my God-confidence and self-confidence will

increase greatly

—

all for the glory of your name and not mine. Thank

you for hearing and answering my prayer. Amen.

7. Reframe

If something unexpected happens, i

t’s easy to let it knock your

fledgling self-confidence. Perhaps you spill your drink on someone,

you arrive late for the big meeting because of traffic problems, or

someone who you wanted to speak to gives you a cold brush- off. Try to

“reframe” the situat

ion; put it in the best possible light: often,

events are only negative because of the meaning we attach to them.

8. Find the next step

Keep your self-confidence up by taking gradual steps forwards, rather

than freezing when faced with what seems like a giant leap. If

you’re not sure what to do, look for one simple step that you can

take to make progress. That might mean making eye contact at a party,

introducing yourself to a stranger, breaking the ice in a meeting, or

asking a question of your interviewers that shows your knowledge of

their industry and company.

Start taking action even if you don’t have a clear idea of what

needs to be done. Start moving towards your goal. Make corrections

later.

9. Speak slowly

An easy tip for both seeming and being more self-confidence is to

speak slowly. If you gabble, you’ll end up feeling worse as you know

you’re being unclear to your audience or to the person you’re in a

conversation with. Speaking slowly gives you the chance to think

about what you’re going to say next. If you’re giving a talk or

presentation, pause at the end of phrases and sentences to help your

audience take in what you’ve said.

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