-
顾客：小心，你的大拇指在我汤里了
服务员：别担心，先生，不是很烫！
A : Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup!
B: Don't worry Sir it's not that hot!
一个服务员给顾客拿来了牛排，大拇指在牛肉上。
“你疯了吗？”顾客喊到，“你的手在我的牛排上！”
“什么？”服务员说，“你想让它再掉地上？”
A
waiter
brings
the
customer
the
steak
he
ordered
with
his
thumb
over
the
meat.
A:Are you crazy?( yelled the customer
),with your hand on my steak?
(What
answers the waiter) You want it to fall on the
floor again?
服务员：茶或咖啡？先生。
第一个顾客：我要茶
第二个顾客：我也是茶——杯子要干净的！
服务员：两杯茶，哪个要干净的杯子？
B:(Waiter:) Tea or coffee gentlemen?
A:I'll have tea.
C:(2nd
customer:) Me too - and be sure the glass is
clean!
(Waiter exits returns)
B:(Waiter:) Two teas. Which one asked
for the clean glass?
创新句子：我坚持用干净杯子喝茶。
服务员，这只苍蝇在我汤里干什么？
看起来象是在仰泳，
A:Waiter what's this fly doing in my
soup?
Um looks to me to be backstroke
sir...
服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！
别担心，先生，面包里的蜘蛛会干掉它。
A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!
B:Don't worry sir the spider on the
breadroll will get 'em.
服务员，我汤里有只苍蝇！
不是，先生，那是蟑螂，苍蝇在你牛排里。
A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!
C:No sir that's a cockroach the fly is
on your steak.
服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！
别让别人看见，先生，要不别人都要。
A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!
B:Keep it down sir or they'll all be
wanting one.
服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！
我知道，先生，我们没有另收钱。
A:Waiter there's a fly in my soup!
C:Its OK Sir there's no extra charge!
服务员，汤里有只苍蝇！
对不起，先生，我弄走那三个时忘了这个。
A:Waiter there is a fly in my soup!
B:Sorry sir maybe I've
forgotten it when I removed the other three.
服务员，汤里有只死苍蝇！
是的，先生，是开水杀死了它们。
A:Waiter there's a dead fly in my soup!
C:Yes sir it's the hot water that kills
them.
话剧前半部分是荆珂刺秦王搞笑英语话剧剧本
（
Introduction
）
：
Long
ago
there
was
a
crazy
country,
in
this
crazy
country
there were some
crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by
crazy
ways. Mr Jingke was the most
famous swordsman and was sent to kill king
of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he
failed. Do
you want to know what
happened at that time? Okay, next show
will tell you the
I
太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：
Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the
most pretty man in the world?
(
画
外音：It’s you, Prince Dan!
太子丹高兴状
) Thank u mirror!
（面对观众）
I’m
Prince Dan,
the magic mirror said I am
the most attractive man in
the
world.
But
Ying
Zheng
is
a
jealous
guy,
I
feel
he
will
kill
me
if
mirror
told him the truth. I
am so scared. So what can I do?
(
向幕里大叫
) Where
is
my minister?
阿三
(
毕恭毕敬
) : Honey, I am coming.
太子丹：I’ve
told you
again
and
again that
you should call
me “my most
beautiful
、
gracefu
l
、
handsome
、
charming
、
cute
、
smart
and
dearest
Prince
Dan”!
阿三：
Sure, honey! I have a
good idea. We can find a hero to kill
YingZheng~~~
（作杀状）太子：
Oh
yeah~~~.
What
is
the
most
expensive
commodity
in
this
century?
Talent!
（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，
最好由观众来回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状）
Good idea!
But who is the
right candidate?
阿三：
After screening I have
two promising persons on hand. One is Miss
LiMoChou,
the
other
is
Mr
JinKe.
Tomorrow
they
will
PK
for
the
NO1
killer
of the world.
太子：
Well, show me the winner
as soon as possible, OK?
阿三：
II
（《十面埋伏》中刘德华
&
金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲
Are
you Li mochou?
李莫愁
Yes.
荆轲
OK. I’m
Jingke, you know, I will let you
know I
am the king of the killers’
world.李莫愁
Are you challenging me?
荆轲
Off course!
耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁
Come on!
音乐起两人冲上前来“人在
江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。
。。。”李莫愁倒地
荆轲大笑李莫愁痛苦状：
What
happened?
Why
aren’t
you
hurt?荆轲
:
We
don't
need any reason to win
a person. Don't we? Do we?
（赢一个人需要理由
么，不需要么，需要么？）李莫愁：
Momma
always
said:
is like
a
box
of
chocolates,
Mochou.
You
never
know
what
you're
gonna
get.
I
got
it,
Momma is right.
荆轲再次大笑太子丹上（抱拳）：
How are you?
荆柯：
Fine, thank you, and
you?
太子丹：
Oh my God! Could you
give me an
innovative answer to “How
are you”?
荆柯：
Sur
e!
太子丹：
How are you?
羊肉串和纳税人（英文小品）
Characters:
Mr. Shi,
Xiaofu, Dabao
Mr.
Shi:
Tax
is
the
major
source
of
the
fiscal
revenue.
There
is
an
evident
change
about the relationship between the tax collector
and taxpayer in
the
past
20
years.
Now,
the
tax
collector,
Xiaofu,
and
the
tax
payer
Dabao,
a
vendor selling Yangrouchuan will show you the very
change. The first
Act happened in
1980s.
Act I
(in Bazaar of
Beijing, sanlihe, 1980s)
Dabao:
Yangrouchuan
,
yangrouchuan,
eaten
one
,want
nine,
eaten
one,
want
nine.
Hi, Take my
yangrouchuan.(slipped, take it up, )
Xiaofu: Tax! Pay the tax!
Dabao: (change faces)
Taxi?
Where is the taxi? Here’s no taxi.
Xiaofu: Tax! T---A ---X!
Dabao: What’s the tax? I just know
taxi! Do you want me to call a taxi
for
you?
Taxi----! Taxi----!
Xiaofu: Enough! Are you the vendor?
Dabao: No , No, No, no! I 'm just have
a look. The vendor has gone to the
toilet.
Xiaofu: Not the
vendor ? Impossible! you 've been here for 2
hours.
Dabao: Really ? (Xiaofu: Yes,
of course.)
How do you know it?
Xiaofu: The window of my office is open
to here and I 've been looking
at you
for two hours.
Dabao: It’s a big bug!
Xiaofu: Oh. Don’t waste my
time! Please pay the tax
---- 10 Yuan!
Dabao: 10 yuan?! My god. I
had just earned 20 Yuan one day! 5 Yuan, ok?
Xiaofu: Don't cheat me, you've sold
more than 2 hundred ones.
Dabao:
6yuan, my dear sisiter.
7Yuan, my
lovely beauty.
Dabao: Not for you ,not
for me, let's split the difference. 8 yuan ,ok ?
Xiaofu: (looking around) All right ,a
deal. But no receipt.
(Dabao payed 8
yuan and Xiaofu left)
Dabao: What a
smart woman! Bad luck! I’m bankrupt. I have to
change my
place.
Hope I
would not meet her any more! Let’s go!
Act II
Mr. Shi: The next
scene happened
in
new century. China had been marching
in the way of the market economy for
twenty years more, in the new era
of
building the well-off society in an all-round way,
how do the vendor
regard tax as and how
is the tax collected? The scene will tell you.
Let’s enjoy it!
(In the market; Dabao in white clothes
,a board with
Dabao::
Yangrouchuan,
yangrouchuan.
Eaten
one,
want
nine.
Eaten
one,
want
nine.
Xiaofu: Hi,
Dabao: Hi.
Two: What a familiar face.
Two: It’s you!
Dabao: 10 years past, you are a still a
tax collector.
Xiaofu: 10 years past,
you still sell Yangrouchuan.
How is
your business?
Dabao: Everything is
OK!
10 years past, you are still
beautiful lady in Sanlihe of Beijing.
Xiaofu: 10 years past,
you
and your
Yangrouchuan look more
clean than 20
years before.
Dabao: Thank you. No SARS, no
dirtiness; Serve people, serve me.
Xiaofu: Great! Have you……
Dabao: Married? I ‘m not married; I’m
still single.
Xiaofu: Have
you claimed your tax this month?
Dabao: What? Taxi? Oh, tax! Of course.
I should pay the tax of 50 Yuan
this
month and I have claimed at the begin of this
month.
Xioafu: Your receipt, please.
Dabao: (shows the receipt )
Here you are, I have paid my tax in the
tax service center by computer.
Xiaofu: Great! What a good taxpayer you
are.
Dabao: Thank you. It is my
duty
. I’m proud of myself to pay the
tax for
our country.
Xiaofu: Yeah! The tax you paid is a
share of our country’s economy, and
you
do a lot for Olympics of Beijing!
Dabao: Let’s do it together! . It’s
said that, Don't ask what your
country
can
do
for
you
but
ask
what
you
can
do
for
your
country.
Just
like
me, sell Yangrouchuan,
and pay the Tax for ten years more.
Xiaofu: You 're the loveliest people in
new century!
Dabao: Thank you! And you
're the loveliest tax collector in new era!
X: Excuse me, and I have to go now.
Bye-bye.
D: A moment, are you free
tomorrow evening? Could I have a dinner with
you?
Xiaofu: Well, may I
have the company of my husband?
Dabao:
No, no, no problem. 6 o’clock in the evening,
Beichuanyuan, ok?
Xiaofu:
just a kidding. I have to go home now.(leaves)
Dabao, See you tomorrow.
Dabao: Hope to see you everyday.
The End
情景剧
第一幕：
Mary
，
Jane
，
and
Lily
在放学路上讨论下周是
Linda
的生日，讨论送什
么礼物给她。
A
是
Mary
，<
/p>
B
是
Jane
，
C
是
Lily
，
D
是
Linda
。
A: Hey,
Linda
’
s birthday dinner is
next week. Let
’
s think about
the gifts.
B: What about a hat?
A: Sounds good. Linda
doesn
’
t have a hat.
C: Emm... How about gloves?
It
’
s so
cold
（寒冷）
now.
B: But Linda has
gloves
（手套）
.
C:
Yes. You
’
re right.
A: OK. We can buy a hat for her.
C:
Let
’
s go to clothes shop
tomorrow
（明天）
.
第二幕：
Mary
和
Jane
相约第二天去商店给
Linda
买礼物，
发生在衣服店的情景。
W: Can I help you?
A:
Yes,please. I need a hat for school.
W:
OK. What color do you want?
A: Yellow
or red?