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短篇英语笑话
10
则
带翻译
①
Goldfish
金鱼
Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
Stan: In the bathroom
。
Fred: But what will you do when you
want to take a bath?
Stan:
Blindfold
（蒙眼睛）
them!
======================
=============================================
斯丹：我赢了
92
条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？
斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？
斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！
②
The Revenge
欺骗的代价
Old Farmer
Johnson was dying. The family was standing around
his bed. With a low voice he said
to
his wife:
after you.
horse de
al!
====================================
===============================
老农约翰逊就要
死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说：
“
我死后
，我想你嫁
给农夫琼斯。
”
妻子说：
“
不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。
”
约翰逊：
“
但我希望你这么
做。
”
妻子：
“<
/p>
为什么？
”
约翰逊：
< br>“
因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。
”
③
I think that I'm a chicken
我想我是一只鸡
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a
chicken.
Psychiatrist: How
long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
===========================
========================================
精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？
病人：我认为我是一只鸡。
精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？
病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。
④
How do I get
the gum out
我怎么把口香糖取出来
Distributing
chewing
gum
to
the
passengers,
the stewardess
explained
it
was
to
keep
their
ears
from
popping.
When
the
plane
landed,
one
of
the
passengers
rushed
up
to
her
and
said,
meeting my wife right away.
How do I get the gum out from my ears?
=======================================
============================
当空中小姐给乘客们发
口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后，
一位乘客跑到这位空
中小姐面前，
说道：
“
我马上就要见
到我妻子了。
我怎么才能把口香糖
从耳朵里面取出来呢？
”
⑤
Where Am I
我在哪儿
An Englishman lost his way while he was
driving in the countryside. He saw a farmer
working in
the field nearby, so he went
nearer in his car and asked the
farmer,
where I am?
es,
<
/p>
========================================
=========================
一个英国人在乡下开车时迷了
路，
他看见一个农民正在附近的地里干活。
于是他就把车开过<
/p>
去问那位农民：
“
劳驾，您能告诉我我现
在这是在哪儿吗？
” “
可以。
”
农夫奇怪地看了看他，
然后说道：
“
你现在在你的车子里，先生。
”
⑥
Why
do
you
never
phone
me?
你为什么不给我打电话？
Mrs
Harris
lives
in
a
small
village.
Her
husband
is
dead,
but
she
has
one
son.
He
is
twe
nty-one
and
his
name
is
Geoff.
He
worked
in
the
shop
in
the
village
and
lived
with
his
mother,
but
then
he
got
work
in
a
town
and
went
ant
lived
there.
Its
name
was
Greensea.
It
was
quite
a
long
way
from
his
mother's
village,
and
she
was
not
happy
about
this,
bu
t
Geoff
said,
isn't
any
good
work
for
me
in
the
country,
Mother,
and
I
can
get
a
lot
of
money
in
Greensea
and
send
you
some
every
week.
Mrs
Harris
was
very
angry
la
st
Sunday.
She
got
in
a
train
and
went
to
her
son's
house
in
Greensea.
Then
she
said
to
him,
why
do
you
never
phone
me?
Geoff
laughed.
Mother
he
said,
haven't
got
a
phone.
she
answered,
haven't,
but
YOU'VE
got
one!
=========================================
=============================
我会告诉你这篇没有中文翻译吗。。。
⑦
The
Same
Action
Yields
the
Same
Result
相同的投资相同的结果
A
couple
of
hunters
chartered
a
small
plane
to
fly
them
to
a
forest,
and
made
an
appoint
ment
with
the
pilot
to
come
back
and
fetch
them
in
about
two
weeks.
At
the
end
of
the
two
weeks,
they
had
shot
a
lot
of
animals
that
they
wanted
to
load
onto
the
plane.
But
the
pilot
said,
plane
won't
be
able
to
take
more
than
one
wild
buffalo.
You'll
have
to
leave
the
others
behind.
Then
the
hunters
protested,
saying,
last
year,
another
pil
ot
with
the
same
airplane
let
us
take
two
buffalos
and
some
other
animals
in
the
plane
a
s
well.
So
the
new
pilot
thought
about
it.
He
was
a
little
bit
skeptical,
but
finally
he
sai
d,
since
you
did
it
last
year,
I
guess
this
year
we
can
do
it
again.
Then
he
loaded
the
two
buffalos
and
a
few
other
animals
in,
and
the
plane
took
off.
Five
minutes
later,
it
crashed
in
a
neighboring
area.
The
three
men
climbed
out
and
looked
around,
and
one
hunter
said
to
the
other,
do
you
think
we
are
now?
The
second
one
surveyed
t
he
area
and
said,
think
we're
about
one
mile
to
the
left
of
the
place
we
crashed
last
y
ear.
==================================================
====================
有两个猎人包机前往一座森林，
到了以后，
他们和飞行员约定好两周后来接。
两
周后，
他们
射了许多动物，而且打算把这些动物全部搬上那架小
飞机，可是飞行员说：
“
这架飞机除了
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