-
搞笑英语话剧剧本
《
荆珂刺秦王》
旁白
(Aside
)/
介绍
（
Introduction
< br>）
：
Long
ago
there
was
a
crazy
country,
in
this
crazy
country
there
were
some
crazy
people,
trying
to
show
the
crazy
history
by
crazy
ways.
Mr
Jingke
was
the
most
famous sword
搞笑英语话剧剧本《
荆珂刺秦王》
旁白
(Aside
)/
介绍（
Introduction
）：
Long
ago
there
was
a
crazy
country,
in this crazy
country there were some crazy people, trying to
show the
crazy history by crazy ways.
Mr Jingke was the most famous
swordsman
剑客
and
was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But
finally
he
failed. Do you
want to know what happened at that time? Okay,
next show
will tell you the truth.
Action I
太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：
Mirror,
mirror,
tell
me,
who
is
the
most pretty man in the world?
(
画外音：
It’s you, Prince Dan!
太子丹高
兴状
)
Thank
u
mirror!
（面对观众）
I’m
Prince
Dan,
the
magic
mirror
said
I am the most attractive man in the
world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous
guy,
I
feel
he
will
kill
me
if
mirror
told
him
the
truth.
I
am
so
scared.
So what can I do?
(
向幕里大叫
) Where is my
minister?
阿三
(
毕恭毕敬
) : Honey, I am coming.
太子丹：
I’ve
told
you
again
and
again
that
you
should
call
me
“my
most
beautifu
l
、
graceful
、
handsome
、
charming
、
cute
、
smart
and
dearest
Prince
Dan”!
阿三：
Sure, honey! I have a
good idea. We can find a hero to kill
YingZheng~~~
（作杀状）
太子：
Oh yeah~~~. What is the
most expensive commodity in this century?
< br>Talent!
（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，
人才！<
/p>
然后拍阿三肩膀，
做赞许状）
Good
idea! But who is the right candidate?
阿三：
After screening I have
two promising persons on hand. One is Miss
LiMoChou,
the
other
is
Mr
JinKe.
Tomorrow
they
will
PK
for
the
NO1
killer
of the world.
太子：
Well, show me the winner
as soon as possible, OK?
阿三：
Yes.
Action II
（《十面埋伏》中刘德华
&
金成武决斗
时的音乐）
荆轲
Are you Li mochou?
李莫愁
Yes.
荆轲
OK.
I’m
Jingke,
you
know,
I
will
let
you
know
I
am
the
king
of
the
killers’
world.
李莫愁
Are you
challenging me?
荆轲
Off course!
耸耸肩表示同意
莫愁
Come on!
音乐起
两人冲上前来
“
人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。。。
”
李莫愁倒地
荆轲大笑
李莫愁痛苦状：
What happened? Why
aren’t you hurt?
荆轲
: We don't need any reason
to win a person. Don't we? Do we?
（赢
一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）
李莫愁：
Momma
always
said:
is
like
a
box
of
chocolates,
Mochou.
You
never
know what you're gonna
get.
轲再次大笑
太子丹上（抱拳）：
How are you?
荆柯：
Fine, thank you, and you?
太子丹：
Oh my God! Could you
give me an innovative answer to “How are
you”?
荆柯：
Sure!
太子丹：
How are you?
荆柯：
Fine, thank you, and your
wife?
太子丹晕倒
荆柯：
Hey, man, I’m
kidding!
太子丹：
Oh,
I’m
kidding
too!
（毕恭毕敬）
May
I
have
your
name
card,
please?
荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着：
To be or not to be, that's a question.
阿三：
Hero
，
we need your help.
荆柯：
I am
busy now!
太子丹：
You can get a lot of
money.
荆柯：
I am very busy
now!
阿三：
IC, ID, IQ card?
荆柯：
I am very very busy now!
阿三
(
手指上场的美女，激动状
):
Look!
She
is
the
most
beautiful
girl
in
the
world. If you say O.K.,
she is yours.