-
读后续写专练四
In 2013,I was
struggling.I was diagnosed with morbid obesity(
病态性肥
胖
).Even though I
exercised regularly and went on a diet, I couldn't
lose
weight. Meanwhile, I faced a
reduction in pay and financial hardship for
numerous
challenges
forced
me
to
reevaluate
my
opportunities. Therefore,
great changes to my life began to unfold.
I began investing more in my family
than I had in the past. My son
had
started
playing
hockey,
which
was
a
fairly
new
sport
in
our
Midwestern city. I saw an opportunity
to have an athletic bond with my
son,
so I picked up my own hockey stick and started
playing with him.
Then
I
was
presented
with
the
opportunity
to
have
bariatric
surgery(
减重手术
).
I
was
actually
a
very
active
person.
I
was
always
working out. As a former marathon
runner, I never stopped running long
distances. Playing sports has always
been a part of my life. Regardless of
the exercise, I still struggled with my
weight; it was in my DNA. I just
wanted
something to
make
it
a little
easier.
Hopefully,
bariatric surgery
was the answer.
As
for
my
career,
after
a nationwide
search
and
sending out many
resumes,
I
received
several
offers,
but
none
seemed
just
right
until
an
opportunity
came
with
a
job offer in
southern
California.
This
was
just
one
month after my surgery,I headed west and prepared
to take advantage
of my new life. There
I worked in the University of Southern California
as
a
teaching
assistant.I
had
always
wanted
to
attend
graduated
school,
but I always put it
off in order to pour myself into my job. Then I
caught
the
opportunity
to
study
and
applied
for
the
Executive
Master
of
Leadership
program.
I
was
accepted!
I
was
so
honored
by
the
opportunity.
Paragraph 1
Apart
from
my
work
and
study,I
used
the
opportunity
for
multi-tasks.
_
_________________________________________________<
/p>
________________________________________
___________________
____________________
_______________________________________
__________________________________________________
_________
______________________________
____________________________
Paragraph
2
I joined the hockey team while
studying at university.
____________
__________________________________________
_________________
______________________
_____________________________________
__
__________________________________________________
_______
________________________________
___________________________
____________
_______________________________________________
读后续写专练四
文章分析和写作指导
1.
主旨大意。
这篇文章主要叙述的是主人公“我”的遭遇。在
2013
年
，
“我”被诊断为病态性肥胖，即便是“我”经常运动也不能减重，
同时，
“我”的工作遇到问题，经济困难。面对一系列的挫折，
“我”
积极面对，
“我”开始和“我”儿子一起进行曲棍球
练习，也做了减
重手术，同时，练习马拉松跑步，同时获得一份大学的助教工作，而
且还攻读研究生学位。
2.
续写思路。
原文介绍了在
“我”
遇到困难之后从事了一系列的活动，<
/p>
段首语第一段介绍说除了工作和学习，
“我”还利用机会做“我”
的
多项任务。第二段段首语介绍说“我”参加了曲棍球队，同时在大学
< br>学习。因此，结合前文，第一段内容应该是“我”的工作学习以及马
拉松运动等活
动的情况。第二段应该是“我”的曲棍球和儿子的曲棍
球训练情况以及“我”在大学的学
习情况。从原文“我”们可以的得
知，在面对困难的时候，
“我
”是积极面对的，因此，努力必定有收
获，在文章的结尾可以描写“我”的成就。
3.
写作风格。
注意语言、动作、心理、情感等细节描绘。尝试使用动
词、形容
词、定语从句、名词性从句、状语从句、非谓语动词以及被
动语态来刻画人物的语言、动
作、心理、神态以及环境氛围。注意运
用恰当的代词、逻辑衔接词把句子连接成文。
4.
评分标准
。
读后续写
5
档作文的评分标准有：<
/p>
（
1
）
与所给短
文融合
度高，与所提供的各段落开头语衔接合理。
（
2
）内容丰富，故事情节
合理，逻辑清晰。
（
3
）所使用语法结构和词汇丰富、准确，可
能有些
许错误，但完全不影响意思表达。
（
4
）有效地使用了语句间的连接成
分，所续写短文结构紧凑
。
重点词汇：
challenge
v.
挑战
gradually
adv.
逐渐地
decrease
v.
下降
meanwhile
adv.
与此同时
intelligence
n.
聪明
diligence
n.
勤奋
promote
v.
升职
financial
adj.
金融的
relationship
n.
关系
tighten
v.
使
..
.
牢固
professional
adj.
专业的
eventually
adv.
最终
various
adj.
各种各样的
possess
v.
拥有
persistence
n.
坚持
hardship
n.
艰难
pursue
v.
追寻
重点短语：
to
one
’
s delight
令某人高兴的是
spare no
effort to do
不遗余力做某事
apart
from
除
...
之
外还有
regard sb. as
把某人看做
重点句型：
not
only...,but also...
不仅，而且
It
is...that...
强调句
as long
as...
引导的条件状语从句
Paragraph 1
Apart
from
my
work
and
study,I
used
the
opportunity
for
multi-
tasks.
To
my
delight
,marathon
games
were
often
held
in
the
city,
which
was
a
good
opportunity
for
me
to
challenge
more
of
myself
.
(
对作者的多项活动之一马拉松进行描写
)
In
order
to
better