老友记台词(中英文对照)

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312 The One With All The Jealousy

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting ready for her first day.]

Rachel: (running in from her bedroom, wearing only a towel) Okay. Hey. Umm. Does

everybody hate these shoes?

Chandler: Oh yeah, but don't worry. I don't think anybody's gonna focus on that as

long as your wearing that towel dress.

Rachel: (to Ross) Tell him.

Ross: (to Chandler) It's her first day at this new job. Your not supposed to start

with her!

Chandler: All right, I suppose I can wait a day. Hey, what are you doing Friday?

Ross: Why?

Chandler:

I

need

you

to

come

to

this

bachelor

party

for

my

weird

cousin

Albert,

y'know

he's the botanist.

Ross: Oh God. Y'know, botanists are such geeks.

Chandler: Yeah. Is that a dinosaur tie?

Ross: Hmm? Oh, yeah. (he makes a growling sound)

Phoebe:

(entering,

with

about

20

purses

hanging

around

her

neck)

Morning.

Rach,

I'm

here with the purses!

Chandler: (to Phoebe) It must take you forever to find your keys.

Rachel: (running into the living room) Thank you, thank you, thank you, Pheebs.

Phoebe: Your welcome, oh please not the one with the turtles.

Rachel: No, no, no, no turtles scare me. I don't need that today.

Ross: Honey, just relax, it's gonna be fine. Hey, umm,. why don't I come down there

and I'll take you out to lunch?

Rachel: Oh honey, thank you, but Mark's taking me out.

Ross: Mark is that ah, the same Mark that helped you get the job?

Rachel:

Yeah,

it's

kinda

like

a

'good

luck

on

your

first

day'

sort

of

thing.

(to

Phoebe)

Is this actually a lunchbox?

Phoebe: Umm, no, it's a purse. And there's a thermos in it.

Rachel: Oh.

Chandler: (to Ross) Hey, so can you make it on Friday?

Ross: What? Oh yeah, yeah I think so. Why am I invited to this again?

Chandler:

Well

apparently

Albert

has

no

friends.

He's

very

excited

about

the

bachelor

party

though.

I

think

actually

the

only

reason

he's

getting

married

is

so

he

can

see

a stripper.

Phoebe:

A

stripper

at

a

bachelor

party,

that

is

so

clich?

Why

don't

you

get

a

magician?!

Chandler:

Well,

if

the

magician

can

open

my

beer

with

his

but

cheeks,

then

all

right.

Opening Credits

[Scene: Chandler

and

Joey's,

Ross and Chandler are entering,

Joey is on

the phone.]

Ross: She's having lunch with him. She's having lunch with him. And you should of

seen the hug she

gave him when

she got the job.

And, and, and, (to Joey) he's really

good looking. (Joey gives an enthusiastic thumbs up) What am I gonna do?

Chandler:

Don't

do

anything.

Keep

it

inside.

Learn

how

to

hide

your

feelings!

(pause)

Don't cry outloud.

Joey:

(hanging

up

the

phone)

Yes!

Guess

who's

in

an

audition

for

a

Broadway

musical?

Chandler: I want to say you but, that seems like such an easy answer.

Joey: It is me! It's a musical version of Tale of Two Cities. So I think I'm gonna

sing New York, New York, and ah, oh I left My Heart in San Francisco.

Ross: Ah Joey, I don't think you get to pick the cities.

Joey: What?

Ross: Mr. Dickens gets to pick 'em.

Joey: Who?

Chandler: I'll get you the Cliff Notes.

Joey: The what?

Chandler: The abridgment.

Joey: Oh, okay. (to Ross) The what?

[Scene: Rachel's office, Mark is training Rachel.]

Mark: ...and

the

style number, and the invoice number, and the shipping

date. Good.

Any questions so far?

Rachel: Yeah. What kind of discount do we get?

Mark: Twenty percent.

Rachel: Oh!! I love this job! (her phone rings) Wow! My first call.

Mark: Here, let me. (answers phone) Rachel Green's line, how may I help you?

Ross: (on phone) Hi, is Rachel there?

Mark: And who may I say is calling?

Ross: This is Ross?

Mark: Ross of.....

Ross: Of Ross and Rachel.

Mark: Oh hi. It's, it's Mark.

Ross: Oh hey, hey Mark.

Mark: Hey, hold on a second.

Ross: Okay.

Rachel: Hi honey!

Ross: Hi! What's ah, what's Mark doing answering your phone?

Rachel: Oh, he's just goofing around.

Ross: Ohhhhh yeah, that's, that's funny. Why ah, why isn't he goofing around in his

own office?

Rachel: Oh honey, this is his office too. I told you we're Joanna's two assistants.

Ross: Why does Joanna need two assistants, how, how lazy is she?

Rachel: Oh! Oh my God! What did I just do?

Ross: What?

Rachel: I think I just shipped 3,000 bras to personnel. Oh honey, I gotta go. (to

Mark) Mark, I need you!

Ross: Okay, bye-bye. (starts slamming the receiver down in anger.)

Rachel: Ow! Ross!!

Ross:

Oh,

oh,

I'm,

I'm,

I'm

sorry

sweetie,

I

was

just

trying

to

ah,

I'm

dialing

another

number. (hangs up)

[Scene:

The

Moondance

diner,

Monica

is

cleaning

up

with

one

of

the

waiters,

with

her

back turned to him she removes her fake breasts and hides them under her wig.]

Jeannine: (to Monica) All right, I just got changed in thirty seconds so you can be

alone with him. You'd better go for it.

Monica: Please, I'm not going for anything.

Jeannine: Well, if you don't, I will.

Monica: Would you please go?

Jeannine: Night Mon. Night Julio.

Julio: (to Jeannine) Adios.

(Monica starts wiping down the stools, as Julio follows along behind her replacing

the napkin holders.)

Monica: Look Julio, someone left their book here.

Julio: Ah actually, that is mine.

Monica: Oh yeah, what are you reading?

Julio: Flowers of Evil, by Beaudalire. Have you read it?

Monica: Have I read it? (pause) No, are you enjoying it?

Julio: I thought I would, but the translation's no good.

Monica:

Your

a

poet

and

don't

know

it.

(she

turns

away

and

makes

a

face

like

'I

can't

believe I just said that.')

Julio: Actually I ah, I am a poet.

Monica:

Oh,

then

you

do

know

it.

(pause)

So

um

what

kind

of

things

do

you

write

about?

Julio:

Things

that

move

me.

The,

the

shadow

of

a

tree,

a

child

laughing,

or

this

lip.

(points to her lip)

Monica: Mine? (points to her lower lip) Right here?

Julio: I can write an epic poem about this lip. (grabs her lower lip)

Monica: How would that go? (they kiss) Well, it didn't rhyme, but I liked it.

[Scene: Joey's audition.]

Joey:

(singing)

You've

got

to

pick

a

pocket

or

two.

Boyyyyssss,

(picks

a

handkerchief

from the pianist's pocket) you've got to pick a pocket or two..........

Director: Lovely, just lovely.

Joey: Really? Thanks.

Director: Listen Joey, we definitely want to see you for the callback on Saturday.

Joey: Excellent, I'll be there.

Director: Okay, and listen don't forget to bring your jazz shoes for the dance

audition.

Joey: Ahhh! My ah, my agent said it wasn't a dancing part.

Director: Joey, all the roles got to dance a little. But believe me with your dance

background it'll be a piece of cake.

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is reading Joey's resume.]

Chandler: ....three years of modern dance with Twila Tharp! Five years with the

American Ballet Theater?!

Joey:

Hey,

everybody

lies

on

their

resume,

okay.

I

wasn't

one

of

the

Zoom

Kids

either.

Phoebe: Well, can you dance at all?

Joey: Yeah, I can dance, y'know. (starts to dance really, really, really badly)

Chandler: Oh no, no, no, no.

Phoebe: (covering her mouth in shock) What, what is that?

Joey: Sure, it looks stupid now, there's no music playing.

(phone rings)

Chandler:

All

right,

I

have

to

get

that,

but

no-no.

(answering

phone)

Hello?

(listens)

(happily) Hi! Yeah listen, I'm, I'm in need of a stripper and I was told that you

do that. (listens) Let me ask you this, what, what do you do for the extra hundred?

(listens) So would I, would I have to provide the grapes?

Monica: (entering) Hi!

Phoebe: Oh, how was last night with Julio, senorita?

Monica: It was soo amazing, he is so sexy, and smart, which makes him even sexier.

Oh

gosh,

I

gotta

so

you

this.

Last

night,

we

were

fooling

around

and

he

stops

to

write

a poem.

Joey: Get out! I couldn't stop if a meteor hit me.

Chandler: Okay, we have our stripper. A miss Crystal Chandelier.

Joey: Well sure, you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be?

Monica: Anyway um, when he left he forgot to take the poem with him. Now, I am like

totally dense about poetry, but I think it's pretty good all right. Check it out.

(hands them the poem)

Joey: (reading) The Empty Vase. Translucent beauty...

Chandler: To yourself. (finishing) Hey- hey-hey, y'know what that's pretty good.

Monica: Oh good, I think so too. Pheebs?

Phoebe: Oh yeah.

Monica: Oh, I'm so glad you guys like it. Yay! All right I gotta go to work. (tries

to take the poem)

Joey: Whoa, I'm not done.

Monica: All right, just give it back to me when your done. See you guys.

Chandler: Bye-bye.

(Monica leaves)

Phoebe: Oh my God, oh my God! Poor Monica!

Chandler: What, what, what?!

Phoebe: What?! He was with her when he wrote this poem. Look, (reading) 'My vessel

so empty with nothing inside. Now that I've touched you, you seem emptier still.'

He thinks Monica is empty, she is the empty vase!

Chandler: You really think that is what he meant?

Phoebe: Oh, totally. Oh, God, oh, she seemed so happy too.

Joey: Done.

[Scene: Rachel's office, her desk is covered with stuff Ross has sent her.]

Mark: (reaching through the flowers) Do you have the, the Ralph Lauren file?

Rachel:

Oh,

yeah,

sure,

it's

umm...

(she

picks

up

this

bug

and

it

starts

to

play

the

theme from Love Story)

Mark: Wh-what's that?

Ross: It's from Ross, it's a love bug.

Mark: Wow! Somebody wants people to know you have a boyfriend.

Rachel:

Oh

no,

no-no-no,

that's

not,

not,

not,

what

he

is

doing.

He's

just,

he's

just

really romantic.

Man: (to Rachel) Ah, excuse me, are you Rachel Green?

Rachel: Yes.

Man: (being joined by the rest of the barbershop quartet) One, two, three...

Quartet:

(singing)

Congratulations

on

your

first

week

at

your

brand

new

job!

It

won't

be long before your the boss.

The Bass Barber: Omm-pah, omm-pah, omm-pah.

Quartet: (singing) And you know who will be there to support... you?! Your one and

only boyfriend...

The Bass Barber: It's nice to have a boyfriend.

Quartet: Your loyal loving boyfriend Ross..... Ross!

Commercial Break

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering the living room from her

bedroom.]

Ross: I'm hurt! I'm actually hurt, that you would think that I would send you any

of those things out of any thing other than love. Hurt! Hurt!

Rachel: All right Ross!! I get it!!

Ross: I mean my God...

Rachel: You're hurt!

Ross: ...can't, can't a guy send a barbershop quartet to his girlfriend's office

anymorrrrre!!

Rachel:

Oh,

please,

Ross

it

was

so

obvious!

It

was

like

you

were

marking

your

territory.

I mean you might have well have just come in and peed all around my desk!

Ross: I would never do that!

Rachel:

Look,

I

know

what's

going

on

here,

okay,

Mark

explained

it

all

to

me.

He

said

this is what you guys do.

Ross: Yeah well if, if, if Mark said that, than Mark's an idiot.

[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey are there.]

Joey: Mark's a genius!

Ross: Why?! How?! How is he a genius?

Chandler:

Look,

don't

you

see

what's

happening

here.

Instead

of

hitting

on

her

right

away,

he's

becoming

her

confidant.

Now

he's

gonna

be

the

guy

she

goes

too

to

complain

about you.

Ross: What am I going to do?

Chandler: Well, why don't you send her a musical bug, op, no you already did that.

All

right

look,

you're

going

to

have

to

go

there

yourself

now,

okay,

make

a

few

surprise

visits.

Ross: I don't know you guys.

Chandler:

All

right

fine,

don't

do

anything,

just

sit

here

and

talk

to

us,

meanwhile

she is talking to him about you. And he's being Mr. Joe Sensitive, and she starts

thinking 'Maybe this is the guy for me, because he understands me.'

Joey:

And

before

you

know

it,

she's

with

him.

And

you'll

be

all,

'Ohh,

man!'

And

he'll

be

all,

'Yes!'

And

us,

we'll

be

like,

'Wh- whoa,

dude.'

And

pretty

soon

you'll

be

like,

(sadly) 'Hhiii,' and, and, and, 'I can't go, Rachel and Mark might be there.' And

we'll be like, 'Man get over it, it's been four years!!'

Chandler: He paints quite a picture doesn't he?

[Scene: Rachel's office.]

Woman: (walking up to Mark) Here's the Shelly Siegal stuff from December.

Mark: (turning around) And wait, I've got something for you. (kisses her)

Woman: Mark!!

Mark: It's okay, Rachel knows.

Woman: Yeah, but even soo.

(Ross appears in the hallway just outside of Rachel's office.)

Mark: I can't help it, I'm just, I'm just crazy about you.

Rachel: Ohhh! That is soo sweet! (gets up to get herself a cup of coffee)

(Ross is eavesdropping in the hallway.)

Mark: Okay, okay look, I know I'm being Mr. Inappropriate today, but it's just so

tough, I mean see you walking around and I just wanna touch you and hold you, come

on no one's around, just, just kiss me.

(They start to kiss, and Ross rushes into the office to break it up.)

Ross: All right that's, that's it!! Get off her!

Mark: What is going on?

Ross: What's going on?! (throws the love bug at him) That's what's going on!!

Rachel: (now standing behind Ross) Ross!

(Ross finally looks at the woman kissing Mark.)

Ross: I have been down in your store for twenty minutes trying to get a tie! What

do I have

to

do

to

get some service?! (turns to Rachel) Hi Rach. (He's puts his

hand

on her shoulder and she knocks it away.)

[Scene: Joey's dance audition, Joey is warming up.]

Director: Ah Joey. Joey Tribbiani. Listen Joey, I got a problem, I just got a call

from my dance captain, he's having a relationship crisis and can't get out of Long

Island.

Joey: So, does that mean the audition is off?

Director: Listen Joey, seeing as you've got the most experience, I want you to take

these dancers and show them the combination.

Joey: What?!

Director: Aw come on Joey, it's easy. Y'know, it's hand, hand, head, head, (very

quickly,

Joey

watches

stunned)

up,

pas

de

bouree,

pas

de

bouree,

big

turn

here,

grand

sissone, sissone, sissone, slide back, step, step, step, and jazz hands!

Joey: It's ah, step-ity, step and jazz hands.

Director: Have fun.

Joey: Bye. (does the jazz hands)

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is tying a ribbon to a vase.]

Phoebe: (entering) Hey!

Monica: Hey.

Phoebe: What are you wrapping?

Monica: Oh-ho, look what I got Julio.

Phoebe: Yeah, it's a vase.

Monica: Yeah, just like the one in the poem.

Phoebe: Well not exactly like the one in the poem.

Monica: What do you mean?

Phoebe: Remember how you said you were really dense about poetry? Oh. (hugs her)

[Scene: The Moondance Diner.]

Monica: (to Julio) So! I'm just an empty vase, huh?

Julio: What?

Monica:

Y'know,

so

I

don't

read

as

many

important

books

as

you

do,

and

I

don't

write

trick poems that seem to be about one thing but are actually about something else.

And y'know what, I get excited about stupid stuff, like when I my People magazine

comes

on

Saturday,

and

the

new

Hold

Everything

catalog.

Y'know

but

that

does

not

mean

that I'm empty, I care about things. I care about my friends and family. You have

no right to make that kind of judgment about me.

Julio: Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Monica: You don't even know me...

Julio: Whoa, whoa, whoa, the poem is not about you.

Monica: What?

Julio: The Empty Vase is not about you. My baby, you make me so sad that you would

think this.

Monica: I'm sorry, my friend Phoebe...

Julio: No, it's about all women. Well, all American women. You feel better now?

Monica: (sarcastically) Oh yeah.

[Scene:

Joey's

audition,

the

director

has

returned

and

wants

to

see

the

combination.]

Director: All right, let's do it!

(The group does the same horrible dance that Joey did earlier in the show, except

they're all out of sync and they do the jazz hands at the end.)

Director: No, no, no. What was that?

Joey: I know, it was the best I could get out of them.

Director: Well, people!

Joey: People, people, people.

Director: Let's try it again, and this time let's watch everybody watch Joey. (to

Joey) Show 'em how it's done. (to the pianist) Count it off.

(The pianist starts to play, and Joey readies himself, and then runs out of the

audition.)

[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Rachel are there.]

Rachel: So ah, did you have fun at the bachelor party last night?

Chandler:

Oh

yeah,

yeah!

Look

what

I

got,

look

what

I

got.

(holds

up

a

pen)

See,

she's

fully dressed, right?

Rachel: Right.

Chandler:

And

then

you

click

it

and,

uh-oh,

she's

naked.

And

then,

and

then

you

click

it again and she's dressed. She's a business woman, she's walking down the street,

she's

window

shopping,

and

(clicks

pen)

whoa-whoa-whoa,

sh-she's

naked!

(Rachel

just

stares at him.)

Ross: (entering) Hi.

Rachel: Hello.

Chandler: Y'know what, I'm, I'm gonna spend some alone time with the pen.

Ross: (sits down next to her) I'm sorry, I was an idiot.

Rachel: A big idiot.

Ross: A big idiot. Just you have to realize is, this whole Mark thing is kinda hard

for me.

(Gunther is eavesdropping in the background.)

Rachel: Honey, why is it hard, I mean we've been together for almost a year now?

Ross: Well, I was with Carol for like eight years and I lost her. And now if it's

possible I think I love you even more. So, it's hard for me to believe that I'm not

gonna, well that someone else is not going to take you away.

Gunther: Let it be me! Let it be me!

Rachel:

Honey,

that's

very

sweet,

it

just

seems

to

me

though,

that

if

two

people

love

each other and trust each other, like we do, there's no reason to be jealous. (she

kisses him)

Ross: I gotta get going. Bye Chandler.

Chandler: Oh, okay Ross. Listen, this pen is kinda getting boring, so can you pick

me up some porn?

Rachel: Where ya going?

Ross: Oh, I've got to go pick up Ben, we've got a play date this afternoon.

Rachel: Ohh, with who?

Ross: Oh, just this woman that I met last night at the party.

Rachel: There was a woman at the... (realizes) The stripper?!

Ross: Yeah.

Rachel: You have a play date with a stripper?!

Chandler: Man, I gotta get a kid. (looks at the pen and starts laughing)

Ross: Ah, yeah, yeah. Umm, we started talking after she y'know, did her thing. And

it turns out she's got a boy about Ben's age, so we're taking them to a gym-boree

class. Why, is that okay?

Rachel: Sure, is she married?

Ross: Ahh, no.

Rachel: Oh. (starts shaking the sugar down in a packet really hard.)

Ross: Are you jealous?

Rachel: Noo, I y'know I don't see why she has to play with you, that's all. I mean

doesn't she have any y'know other stripper moms friends of her own?

Ross: You are totally jealous.

Rachel:

I'm

not

jealous.

All

right

this

is

about,

umm,

people

feeling

certain

things

y'know about strippers. And y'know, and um, I...

Ross: Honey, I love you too.

Rachel: Ugh. Wait, wait, wait.

Ross: What?

(She runs over and gives him a very passionate kiss.)

Ross: Huh.

Rachel:

(to

Chandler)

Well,

there's

a

kiss

that

he

won't

forget

for

a

couple

of

hours,

y'know.

Chandler:

Yeah.

Either

that,

or

you

just

turned

him

on

and

sent

him

off

to

a

stripper.

Closing Credits

[Scene: The Moondance Diner.]

Man: (entering) Is there a Julio here?

Julio: (to him) I am Julio.

(The rest of barbershop quartet enters, and joins him.)

Man: (singing) Mister Pretensous, (Monica stands up in the background) you think

there's no one finer, well but your poems are unpublished, and you work in a diner.

Quartet: Your no God's gift to women, that's all in your headdddd. You are just a

buttmunch.

Bass Singer: No one likes a buttmunch.

Quartet: And your also bad in bedd-edd-edd!.

(Monica waves at Julio.)

End

312

嫉妒

你们都觉得这双鞋很丑吗

?

对

别担心，没有人会注意的

只要你穿着那件浴巾装

你跟他说吧

这是她履新职的第一天

你不该一早就开她玩笑

好吧，我可以等到晚上再说

你星期五有节目吗

?

干嘛

?

你得来参加我的怪堂哥

艾勃特的告别单身派对

你知道，他是植物学家

老天

植物学家都神神经经的

那是恐龙领带吗

?

早安

瑞秋，我拿皮包来了

找钥匙就要找老半天吧

谢谢，菲比

不客气，拜托你用

这个乌龟包包

不，乌龟让我害怕

今天尤其不是时候

亲爱的，别紧张，没问题的

我过来跟你一起吃午饭吧

?

谢了，但马克要带我去吃饭

马克

?

就是那个帮你找工作的马克

对，算是祝我工作顺利

那是午餐盒吗

?

不，是皮包里面

还有个热水瓶

你星期五能来吗

?

什么

?

我想可以吧

可是你为什么要请我呢

?

显然艾勃特没有朋友

他对告别单身派对充满期待

我想他是为了看脱衣舞娘

才结婚的

请脱衣舞娘参加告别单身派对

你们真是老套

为什么不请魔术师

?

如果魔术师可以

用臀部给我开啤酒，那就行