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02
[Leonard]: Here we go, pad
Thai, no peanuts.
[Howard]: But does it
have peanut oil?
[Leonard]:
I’m not sure. Everyone keep an eye on
Howard in case he starts to swell up.
[Sheldon]:
Since it’s not
bee season, you can use my epinephrine.
[Raj]: Are there any chopsticks?
[Sheldon]: No need chopsticks. This is
Thai food.
[Leonard]: Here we go.
[Sheldon]: Thailand has had the fork
since the latter half of the 19
century
.
Interestingly
, they don’t put the fork
in their
mouth, they use it to put the
food on a spoon which then goes into their mouth.
[Leonard]: Ask him for a napkin. I dare
you.
I’ll get it.
[Howard]: Do I look puffy? I feel
puffy.
[Penny]: Hey, Leonard. Am I
interrupting?
[Sheldon]:
You’re not swelling, Howard.
[Howard]: No, no, look at my
fing
ers, they’re like Vienna
sausages.
[Penny]: Sounds
like you have company.
[Leonard]:
They’re not going anywhere.
So, you’re coming home from work,
that’s great. How was work?
[Penny]:
Well, you know,
it’s a cheesecake factory. People order cheesecake
and I
bring it to them.
[Leonard]: So you kind of act like a
carbohydrate delivery system.
[Penny]:
Yeah, call it whatever you want, I get minimum
wage. I was wondering if you could help me out
with something?
I’m having some
furniture delivered tomorrow and I may not be
here, so…
[Howard]:
Haven’t you ever been told how
beautiful you are in flawless Russian?
[Penny]:
No, I
haven’t.
[Howard]: Get used
to it.
[Penny]:
Yeah, I
probably won’t.
Hey, Sheldon.
Hey
, Raj. Still not talking to me, huh?
[Sheldon]:
Don’t take it
personally, it’s his pathology. He can’t talk to
women.
[Howard]:
He can’t talk to attractive women, or
in your case, a cheesecake
-scented
goddess.
[Leonard]:
So
there’s gonna be some furniture
delivered?
[Penny]:
Yeah, if it gets here and I’m not
h
ere, could you just sign for it and
have them put it in my apartment?
[Leonard]: No problem.
[Penny]: Great.
Here’s my
spa
re key. Thank you.
[Leonard]:
Penny wait, if
you don’t have any other plans, do you want to
join us for Thai food and a superman
movi
e
marathon?
[Penny]: A marathon? How many superman
movies are there?
[Sheldon]:
You’re kidding, right?
[Penny]: I do like the one where Lois
Lane falls from the helicopter and superman
swooshes down and catches her.
Which one was that?
[Sheldon]: One. You realize that scene
was rife with scientific inaccuracy
[Penny]:
Yes, I know, men
can’t fly.
[Sheldon]:
No, let’s assume that they
can.
Lois Lane is falling, accelerating
at an initial rate of 32 feet per second per
second.
Superman
swoops
down
to
save
her
by
reaching
out
two
arms
of
steel.
Miss
Lane,
who
is
now
traveling
at approximately 120 miles an hour hits them and
is immediately sliced into three equal pieces.
[Leonard]: Unless superman matches her
speed and decelerates.
[Sheldon]:
In
what
space,
sir?
She’s
two
feet
above
the
ground.
Frankly,
if
he
really
loved
her,
he’d
let
her
hit
the
pavement. It’d be a more
merciful death.
[Leonard]:
Excuse me, your entire argument is
predicated on the assumption that superman’s
flight is a feat of strength.
[Sheldon]:
Are you listening
to yourself? It is well established that his
flight is a feat of strength……
th
[Howard]: And how does he
fly at night?
[Penny]: I'm just gonna
go wash up.
[Leonard]: I have 2600
comic books in there. I challenge you to find a
single re
ference to…
[Sheldon]: Challenge accepted.
We’re locked out.
[Raj]: Also, the pretty girl left.
[Leonard]:
Ok. Her
apartment’s on the fourth floor but the elevator’s
broken, so… you’re just gonna be done?
Okay, cool, thanks.
I guess
we’ll
just bring it up ourselves.
[Sheldon]: I hardly think so.
[Leonard]: Why not?
[Sheldon]:
Well, we don’t
have a dolly or lifting belts or any measurable
upper
-body strength.
[Leonard]:
We don’t need
strength, we’re physicists. We are the
intellectual descendants of Archime
des.
Give me a fulcrum and a
level and I can move the earth. It’s just a matter
of… I don’t have this.
[Sheldon]: Archimedes would be so
proud.
[Leonard]: Do you have any
ideas?
[Sheldon]: Yes, but they all
involve a green lantern and a power ring.
[Leonard]:
Easy…easy…Now
we’ve got an inclined plane. The force required to
lift is reduced by the sine of the angle of
the stairs call it 30 degrees, so,
about half.
[Sheldon]:
Exactly half.
[Leonard]:
Let’s push.
See,
it’s moving, this is easy. It’s all in
th
e math.
[Sheldon]:
What’s your formula for the corner?
[Leonard]: What? Oh, yeah,
no problem. Just come up here, help me pull and
turn.
[Sheldon]: You do
understand that our efforts here will in no way
increase the odds of you having sexual congress
with
this woman.
[Leonard]:
Men do things for women without excepting sex.
[Sheldon]: Those would be men who just
had sex.
[Leonard]:
I’m
doing this to be a good neighbor. In any case,
there’s no way it could lower the odds.
Almost there, almost
there……
[Sheldon]: Great
Caesar’s ghost, look at this
place.
[Leonard]: So Penny
is a little messy
.
[Sheldon]: A little messy? This is
chaos. Excuse me, explain to me an organizational
system where a tray of flatware on a
couch is valid.
I’m just
inferring this is a co
uch because the
evidence suggests the coffee table is having a
tiny
garage sale.
[Leonard]:
Did it ever occur to you that not everyone has the
compulsive need to sort, organize and label the
entire world
around them? Well, they
don’t.
Hard as it may be for
you to believe, most people don’t sort
their breakfast
cereal numerically by
fiber content.
[Sheldon]:
Excuse me, but I think we’ve both found
that helpful at times.
[Leonard]: Come on, we should go.
[Sheldon]: Hang on.
[Leonard]: What are you doing?
[Sheldon]:
I’m straightening
up.
[Leonard]: Sheldon, this
is not your home.
[Sheldon]:
This is not anyone’s home. This is a
swirling vortex of entropy.
[Leonard]:
When the
transvestite lived here, you didn’t care how he
kept the place.
[Sheldon]:
Because it w
as immaculate. I mean, you
opened that man’s closet, it was left to right
evening gowns, cocktail
dresses, then
his police uniforms.
[Leonard]: What
were you doing in his closet?
[Sheldon]: I helped him run some cable
for a web cam.