英文读书笔记_19100字

英文读书笔记

_19100

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A singular notion dawned upon me

。

I doubted not

—

never

doubted

–

that if Mr

。

Reed had been alive he would have

treated me kindly; and now as I sat looking at the white bed and

overshadowed walls

–

occasionally also turning a fascinated

eye towards the dimly gleaming mirror

—

I began to recall what I

had heard of dead men troubled in their graves by the violation

of their last wishes revising the earth to punish the perjured and

avenge the oppressed; and I thought Mr

。

Reed

’

s spirit harassed

by the wrong of his sister

’

s child might quit its abode

—

whether

in the church vault or in the unknown world of the departed

–

and rise before me in this chamber

。

I wiped my tears and

hushed my sobs fearful lest any sign of violent grief might

waken a preternatural voice to comfort me or elicit from the

gloom some haloed face bending over me with strange pity

。

This idea consolatory in theory I felt would be terrible if

realized: with all my might I endeavored to stifle it

—

I

endeavored to be firm

。

Shaking my hair from my eyes I lifted

my head and tried to look boldly around the dark room; at this

moment a light gleamed on the wall

。

Was it I asked myself a

ray from the moon penetrating some aperture in the blind? No;

moonlight was still and this stirred; while I gazed it glided up to

the ceiling and quivered over my head

。

I can now conjecture

readily that this streak of light was in all likelihood a gleam

from a lantern carried by some one across the lawn; but then

prepared as my mind was for horror shaken as my nerves were

by agitation I thought the swift- darting beam was a herald of

some coming vision from another world

。

My heart beat thick

my head grew hot; a sound filled my ears which I deemed the

rushing of wings; something seemed near me; I was oppressed

suffocated: endurance broke down; I rushed to the door and

shook the lock in desperate effort

。

Steps came running along

the outer passage; the key turned Bessie and Abbot entered

。

P12

The next thing I remember is waking up with a feeling as if

I had had a frightful nightmare and seeing before me a terrible

red glare crossed with thick black bars

。

I heard voices too

speaking with a hollow sound and as if muffled by a rush of

wind or water agitation uncertainty and an all-predominating

sense of terror confused my faculties

。

Ere long I became aware

that some one was handling me; lifting me up and supporting

me in a sitting posture and that more tenderly than I had ever

been raised or upheld before

。

I rested my head against a pillow

or an arm and felt easy

。

In five minutes more the cloud of bewilderment dissolved:

I knew quite well that I was in my own bed and that the red

glare was the nursery fire

。

It was night: a candle burnt on the

table: Bessie stood at the bed-foot with a basin in her hand and a

gentleman sat in a chair near my pillow leaning over me

。

I felt an inexpressible relief a soothing conviction of

protection and security when I knew that there was a stranger in

the room and inpidual not belonging to Gateshead and not

related to Mrs

。

Reed

。

Turning from Bessie (though her

presence was far less obnoxious to me than that of Abbot for

instance would have been) I scrutinized the face of the

gentlemen: I knew him; it was Mr

。

Lloyd an apothecary

sometimes called in by Mrs

。

Reed when the servant were ailing:

for herself and the children she employed a physician

。

P14

Bessie had been down into the kitchen and she brought up

with her a tart on a certain brightly painted china plate whose

bird of paradise nestling in a wreath of convolvuli and rosebuds

had been wont to stir in me a most enthusiastic sense of

admiration and which plate I had often petitioned to be allowed

to take in my hand in order to examine it more closely but had

always hitherto been deemed unworthy such a privilege

。

This

precious vessel was now placed on my knee and I was cordially

invited to eat the circlet of delicate pastry upon it

。

Vain favour!

Coming like most other favours long deferred and often wished

for too late! I could not ear the tart: and the plumage of the bird

the tints of the flowers seemed strangely faded! I put both plate

and tart away

。

Bessie asked if I would have a book: the word

book acted as a transient stimulus and I begged her to fetch

Gulliver

’

s Travels from the library

。

This book I had again and

again perused with delight

。

I considered a narrative of facts and

discovered in it a vein of interest deeper than what I found in

fairy tales: for as to the elves having sought them in vain among

foxglove leaves and bells under mushrooms and beneath the

ground- ivy mantling old wallnooks I had at length make up my

mind to the sad truth that they were all gone out of England to

some savage country where the woods were wilder and thicker

and the population more scant; whereas Lilliputt and

Brobdingnag be

ing in my creed solid parts of the earth’s surface

I doubted not that I might one day by taking a long voyage see

with my own eyes the little fields houses and trees the

diminutive people the tiny cows sheep and birds of the one

realm; and the cornfields forest-high the mighty mastiffs the

monster cats the tower-like men and women of the other

。

Yet

when this cherished volume was now placed in my hands

—

when I turned over its leaves and sought in its marvelous

pictures the charm I had till now never failed to find

—

all was

eerie and dreary the faints were gaunt goblins the pigmies

malevolent and fearful imps Gulliver a most desolate wanderer

in most dread and dangerous regions

。

I closed the book which I

dared no longer peruse and put it on the table beside the untasted

tart

。

P16

The good apothecary appeared a little puzzled

。

I was

standing before him: he fixed his eyes on me very steadily: his

eyes were small and gray not very bright; but I dare say I should

think them shrewd now: he had a hard-featured yet

good-natured looking- face

。

Having considered me at leisure he

said

‘

what made you ill yesterday?

’

P20

From my discourse with Mr

。

Lloyd and from the above

reported conference between Bessie and Abbot I gathered

enough of hope to suffice as a movie for wishing to get well: a

change seemed near

—

I desired and waited it in silence

。

It

tarried however; days and weeks passed; I had regained my

normal state of health but no new allusion was made to the

subject over which I brooded

。

Mrs

。

Reed surveyed me at

times with a severe eye but seldom addressed me; since my

illness she had drawn a more marked line of separation than

ever between me and her own children appointing me a small

closet to sleep in by myself condemning me to take my meals

alone and pass all my time in the nursery while my cousins were

constantly in the drawing- room

。

Not a hint however did she

drop about sending me to school; still I felt an instinctive

certainty that she would not long endure me under the same roof

with her; for her glance now more than ever when turned on me

expressed and insuperable and rooted aversion

。

P21

Mrs

。

Reed was rather a stout woman; but on hearing this

strange and audacious declaration she ran nimbly up the stair

swept me like a whirlwind into the nursery and crushing me

down on the edge of my crib dared me in and emphatic voice to

rise from that place or utter one syllable during the remainder of

the day

。

“What would Uncle Reed say to you if he were alive? ”

was my scarcely voluntary demand

。

I say scarcely voluntary