英语小笑话大全

英语小笑话大全

1

、

He Won Tommy: How is your little brother Johnny Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

Tommy: Thats too bad. How did that happen Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the

window and he won.

他赢了

汤姆约翰尼你小弟弟好吗

约翰尼他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

汤姆真糟糕怎

么回事儿

约翰尼我们做游戏看谁能把身子探出窗外最远他赢了。

2

、

I

Have

His

Ear

in

My

Pocket

Ivan

came

home

with

a

bloody

nose

and

his

mother

asked

What

happened

A

kid bit me replied Ivan.

Would you

recognize

him if

you

saw him again

asked

his mother.

Id

know

him any where said Ivan. I have his ear in my pocket.

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血 回到家

里

。

他妈妈问

< br>“发生了什么事”

“一个男孩咬了我一口”

伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗”

妈妈问。

“他

走到哪里我都能认出他”伊凡说。

“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。

”

3

、

A Good Boy Little Robert

asked

his mother

for two cents. What

did

you do

with

the

money

I gave

you

yesterday

I

gave

it

to

a

poor

old

woman

he

answered.

Youre

a

good

boy

said

the

mother

proudly.

Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman She is the one who sells

the

candy.

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了”

“我给了 一个可怜的老太婆”

他回答说。

“你 真是个好孩子”妈妈骄傲地说。

“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢 ”

“她是个卖糖果的。”

4

、

Drunk

One

day

a

father

and

his

little

son

were

going

home.

At

this

age

the

boy

was

interested

in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now he asked Whats the meaning of the

word Drunk dad Well my son his father replied look there are standing two policemen. If I regard

the two policemen as four then I am drunk. But dad the boy said theres only ONE policeman

醉

酒

一天父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄老是有提不完的问题 。

他

向父亲发问道“爸爸‘醉’字是什么意思”

“唔孩子”父亲回答说“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他

们看成了四个那么我就算醉了。

”

“可是爸爸

”孩子说“那儿只有一个警察呀”

5

、

Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without

any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with

a piece of cheese which he laid on the guests plate. The visitor smiled put the cheese into his

mouth and then said: You must have better eyes than your mother sonny. Where did you find the

cheese In the rat-trap sir replied the boy.

好客

< br>由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时家里没有奶酪了于是女主

人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男 孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿他拿着一片奶酪回到房间把奶酪放在客

人的盘子里。< /p>

客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说

“孩子你 的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。

你在哪里找到的奶酪”

捕鼠夹上先生。

”那小男孩说。

6

、

Nest and Hair My sister a primary school teacher was informed by one of her pupils that a

bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom. What kind of bird my sister asked.

I didnt see the bird ma am only the nest replied the child. Then can you give us a description

of the nest my sister encouraged her . Well maam it just resembles your hair. Notes: 1 inform

v.

告诉

2 nest n.

窝巢

3 description n.

描述

4 encourage v.

鼓励

5 resemble v.

相似类似

7

、

鸟窝与头发

< br>我姐姐是一位小学老师。

一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外

的树上垒了个窝。

“是

什么鸟呢”我姐姐问她。

“我没看到鸟儿老师只看到鸟窝。

”那孩子回答说。

< br>

“那么你能给我们描述一下

这个鸟巢吗”我姐姐鼓励她 道。

“哦老师就像你的头发一样。”

Ive Just Bitten My Tongue Are we

poisonous the young snake asked his mother. Yes dear she replied - Why do you ask Cause Ive just

bitten my tongue Notes: 1 poisonous adj.

有毒的

2 Cause Ive just bitten my tongue

因为我刚咬了

自己的舌头。

句中

Cause

是

Because

的缩略形式。

8

、我刚咬破自己的舌头

“我们有毒吗”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。

< br>“是的亲爱的”她回答说“你问这个

干什么”

“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”

A Woman Who Fell It was rush hour and I was dashing to

a

train

in

New

York

Citys

Grand

Central

Terminal -

As

I

neared

the

gate

a

plump

middle- aged

woman

sprinted up from behind lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her

momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her however she had scrambled up.

Gaining her composure she winked at me and said Do you always have beautiful women failing at

your feet 9

、摔倒的女人

上下班高峰期我匆匆 奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口一位肥胖的

中年妇女从后面冲过来没想到在 平滑的大理石地面上失了脚仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我

正准备扶她她却 自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下对我挤了一下眉说道“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗”

10

、

Q: Whats the difference between a monkey and a flea A: A monkey can have fleas but a flea

cant

have

monkeys.

猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢你可能会直接的 想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢那

就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤而跳蚤身上却不能有猴 子。这个答案很有意思吧

11

、

Q: How can you most irritate a farmer A: By treading on his corn

是谷物他肯定会生气的而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡 眼他会更生气。

Corn

既可以表示

“ 玉米

/

谷物”

也有

“鸡

眼”的意思。

12

、

Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world A: The snail. It carries its house on its

back.