-
搞笑
5
人英语剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
演员表：
西门吹雪
叶孤城
花满楼
king
旁白
道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。
第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠
旁白：
A quiet
village is covered with white snow .
Birds are dancing in the
cold .
A man is
walking along the street ,step by step .
Wind is coming
in silence.
Another mysterious man approaches .
Y
与
X
相遇．
X
：
oH
,I am sorry to knock you !
Y:Haha, Nevermindbaybay.
X:Excuseme
，
whoareyouonearth?
couldyoutellmeyourname?
Y:ha ha
,Iwon
’
tchangemyname!
nomatterwhathappens.
I
’
mthemostfamous-------
YeGucheng.
Whoareyou?
X:Iamximenchuixue.
Y
惊讶
:Ar, ximenchui
xue?
X:Yes,whatiswrong?
Y:Iheardthatyou
arethebestingMartialArts?
X:Great, youknowme !
Y
抱腿：
Please,
please
??
Don
’
tkillme!
letmeyougo!
X:No, Imustkillyou !
Y:Idon''''''''''''''''re
aeighty-year-oldmotheandathree-yearold
sontobelookedafterbyme!
X:Noway!
Becausewearefightingnow!youknow?
Y
突然站起冷冷的说：
Don''''''''''''''''t forceme!
X:Pardon!
(Y
拿出一袋牛奶
)
X
抢过牛奶
:milk,
verygood! Ilikedrinkingit. howdoyouknowthat?
Y:pleasedrinkit!
X
喝完牛奶
:Thanks,
ha,ha
Y:Doyoustillwanttokillme?
X:Sure, must! milkismilk.
Y(
恼怒
+
冷酷
):Verygood!
verygood! Ihopeyouwillnotforgetwhatyousaid!?
X:I
’
msureIwon
’
t!
Y:Imustgiveyoua
lesson!IfIdon''''''''''''''''tbeatyourthistime, yo
u
’
llneverbehaveproperly!3-2-
1-0!
X
捂着肚子，蹲下：
Oach,Oach !
Y
大笑：
H
aHa
??
X
可怜状
:
help! help! Whereisthewashroom?
Y:What ?
X:Toliet?
Y:What ?
X:The
“
WC
”
?
Y:Oh,I see ,goa
longthisstreetandturnrightwhenyouseeacorssingroad!
X:Thanks,byebye.
Y
掏出纸屑吹
:Thisisgenuirnesnow!
H:Stop!Protectingtheenvironmentisabasicobli
gation!
Y:Whoareyou?
H:Hua---man----lou!
Haveyouseenximenchuixue?
Y:Yes, hewasbeatenbymeandisin
“
WC
”
now,ha
??
H
惊讶<
/p>
:Nowyouarethebestintheworld!
Y:Youareright!
H:Teriffic!youaretheonemyki
nglookingfor! doyouwantjoininus?
Y:Yes,It
’
sverygood.
H:Ok, followme,
Let
’
sgotoseemyking!
Y:Ok,Let
’
s go!
第二幕：无间道
H:Mydearest !
letmeintroduce yeguchengtoyou!
（指
Y
）
thisisyegucheng.
K:sitdownplese, yegucheng.
H
走
到
Y
前
，《
婚
礼
进
行
曲
》
起
，
H
神
甫
状
:Yegucheng!
Doyouwanttofollowmykingno
matterwhathappenssuchascold headache,sair and
aids?
Y:
Yes,Ido.
K:
Huamanlou, come .
puttheringonhisfinger!
（音乐停）
X
唱着上
:Onlyyou
??
(
看到戒子
) thisringshouldbemine!
K:Butwhoareyou?
whyshoulditbelongyou?
Y
急切
: king! dearki
ng!Imustgonow,mybrotherislookingforme!huoxi(
维语再见
)
K:huoxi? Whatdoesthatmean?
ItisnotEnglish, isn
’
t it ?
Y:How
clever
??
X
冷酷
:yegucheng!
comehere!Iwanttotellyousomething!
Y
抱
X
的腿
:oldbrother ! Forgiveme!
X:Forgiveme?
Why?
Y:
Oncetherewasachangebeforeme,Ilostit.
Ifthegodgivemeantherchance,
I
’
lltellyou
“
I
love
you
”
,Iftheremustbea limited
period,Ihopeitisthousandyear!
X:Youshall cheat me!all you
did are wrong!how can youtell thelady
’<
/p>
s
“
WC
”
!
Y:Il
ikegoinglady
’
s WC .I
< br>??
I
??
Ithinktha
tyoulikewhatIlike.(
Ｙ又拿出一袋牛奶
)
X: m-i-
l-k?haha,
ayixidailu!(
我爱你的意思
)
K:
ayixidailu?What
’
sthemeaning?
whyIalsocan
’
tunderstandyou?
X:Youarestupid!
Itmeans
“
I love
you
”
.
K:Don
’
t
saythat
“
you love
me
”
. I
’
llkillyouforyousayingdirtywordtome!
X:What?
(
侧耳装着听不到
) You---kill----
me?come, come
?
(
Ｘ上
去抓住
K)
K:Fuckyou. Imustkillyou!
X:Howcanyoukillme?
haha
??