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英语幽默小故事
10
篇
英语幽默小故事
10
篇
Midway
Tactics
Three competing store owners rented
adjoining shops in a mall. Observers
waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on
the right put up huge signs saying,
Bargains!
The store on
the left raised bigger signs proclaiming,
The
owner in the middle then prepared a large sign
that simply stated,
中间战术
三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻
的店铺。
旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：
“
大减<
/p>
价
!”“
特便宜
!”
左
边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，
声称：
“
大砍价
!”“
大
折扣
< br>!”
2
中间的
商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写
着：
“
入口处
”
。
Very Pleased to Meet You
During World
War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in
the army. Joan
Phillips was one of
them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met
a lot of men,
officers and
soldiers.
One evening she met Captain Humphreys
at a dance. He said to her,
abroad
tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write
to each other.
agreed, and they wrote
for several months.
Then his letters stopped,
but she received one from another officer, telling
her
that he had been wounded and was in
a certain army hospital in England.
Joan went there
and said to the matron,
Humphreys.
3
<
/p>
在第二次世界大战中，
有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。
琼
.
飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工
作，当然遇
到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。
一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉
弗雷斯。他对她说，
“
我明天就要出国，但如果我们能够相互写
信，我会很高
兴。
”
琼同意了，于是他
们几个月里一直通着信。
后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告
诉她，他受伤了，
住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。
琼到了医院，她对护士长说，
“
我来看
望军官汉弗雷
斯。
”
“
这里只
有亲属可以探望病人。
”
护士长说。
“
噢，是
的，
”
琼说，
“
我是他的妹妹。
”
“
很高兴认识你，
< br>”
护士长说，
“
我是他的母亲。
”
Two
Soldiers
4
Two
soldiers were in camp. The fi
rst one‘s
name was George, and the second
one‘s
name was Bill. George said,
Bill?
Bill said,
Then George
said,
orge
wrote his letter.
Then he put it in the envelope and said,
Bill gave him one.
Then Bill got
up and went to the door, so George said to him,
out?
Bill Said,
George said,
George looked
at the envelope of his letter and answered,
girl-
friend‘s
address?
军营里有二名士兵，
一个叫乔治，
一个叫比尔。
乔治问：
“
比尔，你有信纸、信封吗
?
”
比尔说：
“
有。
”
然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。
5
乔治又说：
“
我还没有笔呢。
”
比尔又把自己的笔给
了他。
乔治开始写信。
写完后把信放进信封里，
又问：
“
比
尔，你有邮票吗
?”
比尔给了他一张。
这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔
治问：
“
你要出去
吗
< br>?”
比尔说：
“
是的。
”
随即打开了门。
乔治说：
“
请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信
箱里，还
有
...”
他停住了。
“
你还要什么
?”
比尔问。
乔治看着信封说：
“
你女朋友的地址是
-
?”<
/p>
Five Months Older
The Second
World War had begun, and John wanted to join the
army, but he was
only 16 years old, and
boys were allowed to join only if they were over
18. So when
the army doctor examined
him, he said that he was 18.
6
But John‘s brother had
joined the army a few days before,
and
the same doctor
had examined him too.
This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family
name, so
when he saw John‘s papers, he
was surprised.
than I am.
大五个月
第二次世界大战开始了，
约翰想参军，
可他只有十六岁，
当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检
时，他说他已经十八岁了。
可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他
做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约
翰的表格时，感
到非常惊奇。
< br>“
你多大了
?”
军医问。
“
十八，长官。
”
约翰说。
7
“
可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双
胞胎吗
?”
约翰脸红了，说：
“
哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大
五个月。
”
West Point
My father,
brother and I visited West Point to see a football
game between Army
and Boston College.
Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets
in neatly
pressed uniforms. Several
visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose
for
photographs,
One middle-aged
couple approached a very attractive female cadet
and asked
her to pose for a picture.
They explained,
by not coming to West
Point.
< br>父亲、
哥哥和我到西点军校去观看一场陆军与波士顿大
学
之间的橄榄球赛。开始之前，我们到处转了转，碰到许
多穿着整齐制服的学员。几名游客
问新兵是否愿意摆出军
姿来让他们摄。
“
好让我们的儿子知道，如果他到西点军
校来学习会得到什么。
”
8
一对中年夫妇走近一名非常漂亮的
女学员，问她是否
愿意摆个姿势照相。他们解释说：
“
我们想让儿子知道他
没来西点军校错过了什么。
”
(6)Present for
Girlfriend
At a jewelry store, a young man bought
an expensive locket as a present for his
girlfriend.
The customer
thought for a moment, and then said,
engrave it ‘To my
one
and only love‘. That way, if we ever
break up, I can use it
again.
送给女友的礼物
在一家珠宝店里，一位年轻人买了一个贵重的小金盒作
为送给女友的礼物。
“
要我把她的名字刻在上
面吗
?”
珠宝
商问道。
那名顾客想了一会儿，
然后说道：
“
不
--
在上面刻
‘
给
< br>我唯一的爱
’
。这样，如果我们闹崩了，我还可以再用到
它。
”
Be Careful What You Wish
For
9