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My Financial Career
by
Stephen Leacock
When I go into a bank I
get rattled. The clerks rattle me; the wickets
rattle me;
the sight of the money
rattles me; everything rattles me.
The
moment
I cross the threshold of a bank
and attempt to transact business
there,
I become an irresponsible idiot.
I knew
this beforehand, but my salary had been raised to
fifty dollars a month
and I felt that
the bank was the only place for it.
So
I shambled in and looked timidly round at the
clerks. I had an idea that a
person
about to open an account must needs consult the
manager.
I
went
up to
a wicket
marked
was
a tall,
cool
devil. The very sight of him rattled
me. My voice was sepulchral.
I
see
the
manager?
I
said,
and
added
solemnly,
I
don't
know
why I
said
The manager was a
grave, calm man. I held my fifty-six dollars
clutched in a
crumpled ball in my
pocket.
I
see
you,
I
asked,
I
didn't
want
to
say
again,
but
without it the thing
seemed self-evident.
The manager looked
at me in some alarm. He felt that I had an awful
secret to
reveal.
in the lock.
We both sat down and looked
at each other. I found no voice to speak.
He
had
gathered
from
my
mysterious
manner
that
I
was
a
detective.
I
knew
what he was thinking,
and it made me worse.
agency.
not
a
detective
at
all.
I
have
come
to
open
an
account.
I
intend
to
keep
all
my
money in
this bank.
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