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Tennis
—I’m
saying
goodbye
How do you leave behind the
only life you’ve ever known? How do you
walk away from the courts you’ve
trained on since you were a little girl,
the game that you
love
—
one which brought you
untold tears and
unspeakable
joys
—
a sport where you found
a family, along with fans
who rallied
behind you for more than 28 years?
I’m
new to this, so please forgive me.
Tennis
—I’m
saying goodbye.
Before we get to the end, though, let
me start at the beginning. The
first
time I remember seeing a tennis court, my father
was playing on
it. I was four years old
in Sochi, Russia
—
so small
that my tiny legs were
dangling off the
bench I was sitting on. So small that the racket I
picked
up next to me was twice my size.
When I was six, I traveled across the
globe to Florida with my
father. The
whole world seemed gigantic back then. The
airplane, the
airport, the wide expanse
of America: Everything was
enormous
—
as was
my parents’ sacrifice.
When I first started playing, the girls
on the other side of the net
were
always older, taller, and stronger; the tennis
greats I watched on TV
seemed
untouchable and out of reach. But little by
little, with every day
of practice on
the court, this almost mythical world became more
and
more real.
The first
courts I ever played on were uneven concrete with
faded
lines. Over time, they became
muddy clay and the most gorgeous,
manicured grass your feet could ever
step upon. But never in my wildest
dreams did I think
I’d ever
win on the sport’s biggest stages—
and
on
every surface.
1
Wimbledon seemed like a
good place to start. I was a naive
17-year-
old, still
collecting stamps, and didn’t understand the
magnitude
of my victory until I was
older
—
and
I’m
glad
I
didn’t.
My edge, though, was never about
feeling superior to other players.
It
was about feeling like I was on the verge of
falling off a cliff
—
which
is why I constantly returned to the
court to figure out how to keep
climbing.
The U.S. Open
showed me how to overcome distractions and
expectations. If you couldn’t handle
the commotion of New York—well,
the
airport was almost
next
-
door.
Dosvidanya
The
Australian Open took me to a place that had never
been a part
of me before
—to
an extreme confidence that some people call being
“in
the zone.”
I
really can’t explain it—
but
it was a good place to be.
The clay at
the French Open exposed virtually all my
weaknesses
—
for
starters, my inability to slide on
it
—
and forced me to
overcome them. Twice. That felt good.
These courts revealed my true essence.
Behind the photo shoots and
the pretty
tennis dresses, they exposed my
imperfections
—
every wrinkle,
every drop of sweat. They tested my
character, my will, my ability to
channel my raw emotions into a place
where they worked for me instead
of
against me. Between their lines, my
vulnerabilities felt safe. How
lucky am
I to have found a kind of ground on which I felt
so exposed and
yet so comfortable?
One of the keys to my success was that
I never looked back
and I never looked
forward. I believed that if I kept grinding and
grinding, I could push myself to an
incredible place. But there is no
mastering
tennis
—
you must simply keep
heeding the demands of the
2
court while trying to
quiet those incessant thoughts in the back of your
mind:
Did you do
enough
—
and
more
—
to prepare for your
next opponent?
You’ve taken a few days
off—your body’s losing that edge.
That extra slice of pizza? Better make
up for it with a great morning
session.
Listening to this voice so intimately,
anticipating its every ebb and
flow, is
also how I accepted those final signals when they
came.
One of them came last August at
the U.S. Open. Behind closed
doors,
thirty minutes before taking the court, I had a
procedure to numb
my shoulder to get
through the match. Shoulder injuries are nothing
new
for me
—
over
time my tendons have frayed like a string.
I’ve had
multiple
surgeries
—
once in 2008;
another procedure last
year
—
and
spent
countless months in physical therapy. Just
stepping onto the court
that day felt
like a final victory, when of course it should
have been
merely the first step toward
victory. I share this not to garner pity, but to
paint my new reality: My body had
become a distraction.
Throughout my
career,
“
Is it worth
it?
”
was never even a
question
—
in the
end, it always was. My mental fortitude has always
been my strongest weapon. Even if my
opponent was physically stronger,
more
confident
—
even just plain
better
—
I could, and did,
persevere.
I’ve never really felt
compelled to speak about work, or effort, or
grit
—
every
athlete understands the unspoken sacrifices they
must make
to succeed. But as I embark
on my next chapter, I want anyone who
dreams of excelling in anything to know
that doubt and judgment are
inevitable:
You will fail hundreds of times, and the world
will watch you.
Accept it. Trust
yourself. I promise that you will prevail.
3
In giving my
life to tennis, tennis gave me a life.
I’ll miss it
everyday.
I’ll miss the training and my daily
routine: Waking up at dawn,
lacing my
left shoe before my right, and closing the court’s
gate
before I hit my first ball of the
day.
I’ll miss my team, my
coaches.
I’ll
miss the moments sitting with my father
on the practice court bench. The
handshakes
—
win or
lose
—
and the athletes,
whether they knew it or not,
who pushed
me to be my best.
Looking back now, I
realize that tennis has been my mountain. My
path has been filled with valleys and
detours, but the views from its peak
were incredible. After 28 years and
five Grand Slam titles, though,
I’m
ready to scale another
mountain
—
to compete on a
different type of
terrain.
That relent
less chase for
victories, though? That won’t ever
diminish. No matter what lies ahead, I
will apply the same focus, the
same
work ethic, and all of the lessons
I’ve
learned along the way.
In
the meantime, there are a few simple things
I’m really looking
forward
to: A sense of stillness with my family. Lingering
over a
morning cup of coffee.
Unexpected weekend getaways. Workouts
of my choice (hello, dance class!).
Tennis showed me the
world
—
and it showed me what
I was made
of. It’s how
I
tested myself and how I measured my growth. And so
in
whatever I might choose for my next
chapter, my next mountain,
I’ll still
be pushing.
I’ll still be
climbing.
I’ll still be
growing.
4
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