-
格雷格
Greg
？
九月
September
格雷格
干嘛
Greg?
What?
格雷格
怎么了
Greg!
Huh? What?
怎么还在睡觉
快起来
What are you
doing? Get up!
爸妈叫你起床都一个小时了
Mom
and
Dad
have
been
calling
you
for
an
hour.
第一天上初中就打算迟到啊
You're
about
to
be
late
for
your
first
day
of
middle school.
什么
What?
天哪
怎么回事
Oh, geez!
How did that happen?
快点
妈都气疯了
Go, go, go!
Mom's about to flip out!
她先去车里等你
派我来叫你
She sent me
to get you while she waits in the
car!
你在干什么
怎么了
What are you
doing? What's going on?
准备去
...
Getting
ready for...
上学啊
...school.
发什么神经啊
下周才开学呢
Are
you
insane?
School
doesn't
start
till
next
这本是日记文学
不是流水帐
This is a
journal, not a diary.
我知道
封面上只写了
日记
两个字
Yeah, I know
what it says on the cover.
但当我妈出去买这玩意时
But
when my mom went out to buy this thing,
我特别叮嘱过她别买封面有
日记
两个字
的
I
specifically told her not to buy one that said
这再次证明了老妈是不会理解我这年纪的
少年
的
This
just
proves
Mom
doesn't
understand
anything about kids my age.
哈
娘们
Huh?
Sissy!
我同意在这上面写日记只是因为
The only reason I agreed to write in
this thing
is because
等我成为富翁
我就有更好的事情可做了
when
I'm
rich
and
famous
I'll
have
better
things to do
而不是整天回答一些愚蠢的问题
than
answer
people's
stupid
questions
all
day
week.
而且据我所知
凌晨点学校也不开门啊
And,
FYI,
school
doesn't
start
at
:
in
the
morning!
你把曼尼吵醒了
如果他不回去
...
You
woke
up
Manny.
And
if
he
doesn't
go
back
down...
早上好
Good
morning!
他不可能再睡着了
There is no way he is going back down.
我只想睡到早上点
I just
wanted to sleep till :.
奶子
回去睡吧
我来照顾他
Bubby!
Go
to bed. I got him.
格雷格
这么吵干吗
Greg,
what
are
you
doing
up
making
all
this
noise?
是罗德里克
是他把我叫起来的
It was
Rodrick! He woke me up!
他调了我的钟
He changed
my clock!
我发誓
他刚刚还
...
回去睡吧
But I swear,
he was just...
Go to bed.
这是什么味
都分不出来了
What is
that smell? I can't even identify it.
生日快乐
Happy
Birthday!
哇
好大的喷火器啊
Wow! Look
at the size of that flamethrower!
好了
首先
让我澄清一些事实
Okay,
first of all, let me get something
straight.
long.
格雷格里
跟我们说说你的童年
Gregory, tell us about your childhood!
你一直都是这样聪明英俊吗
Were
you always so smart and handsome?
这是我的日记
嘘
嘘
Here's my journal. Now, shoo, shoo.
那是我们的骄子
That's
our boy up there.
叫我如何拒绝他啊
Why did I ever say no to him?
老妈给我送来
Mom got me
this thing
让我写下进入初中时心中的感触
so
I
could
write
down
my
feelings
about
starting middle school.
但我会安然无事的
But I'm
gonna be fine.
我担心的是我最好的朋友
罗利·杰斐逊
It's
my
best
friend,
Rowley
Jefferson,
I'm
worried about.
他绝对不适合上初中
He's
definitely not middle school ready.
杰罗尼莫
Geronimo!
他不太明白什么叫做成长
He's
not quite clear on the concept of growing
up.
我想要只小狗
一只小猫
一个口香糖机
I want a
puppy, a kitty, a gumball machine...
但故事的主角是我
不是罗利
But anyway,
this is about me, not Rowley.
我早就知道了
后人会把我的一生拍成电影
I
always
figured
they'd
make
a
movie
about
my
life.
但没想到会从这里开拍
But I didn't think they'd start the
story here.
说真的
因为有人会想看一部
Because, seriously, who wants to see a
movie
about a kid
一个小屁孩身陷初中
跟一群呆瓜为伍的故
事呢
who's stuck in middle school with a
bunch of
morons?
天没洗澡了
闻闻我对你的爱
Three
days, no shower. Smell the love!
放开我
罗德里克
Let
me
go,
Rodrick!
得了
我们闹着玩玩
怎
么了
Come on. We're just having some fun,
right?
不
好吧
给我听着
弗兰克
格雷格
Frank?
Greg?
我觉得我在吃早饭
I think it's gross and undignified
旁边是他坐在便壶上
太恶心丢人了
that I
have to eat breakfast next to him on the
potty.
好吧
他现在还在练习上厕所
都是你害的
Okay,
well,
it's
your
fault
he's
still
potty
training.
别往下看
曼尼
Don't look
down, Manny.
便壶怪可不喜欢人看他哦
The
potty
monster
doesn't
like
it
when
you
look at
him.
我那是逗他玩呢
I
was just joking with him.
好的
给他个道歉的吻
我们要向前看
Okay. Kiss
him you're sorry and then let's get
a
move on.
还给我
住手
Give it back!
Stop!
感谢上帝
有齐拉格·古普塔
...so
thank God for Chirag Gupta.
是我的
住手
背包能给我吗
It's
mine!
Stop!
Can
I
have
the
backpack?
再跳高点
不是你们的
You
got
to
jump
higher.
It's
not
yours!
No,
okay. So, look.
妈妈让我告诉你一些有关初中的建议
Mom asked me to give you some advice
about
middle school.
其实很简单的
It's real
simple.
别跟别人说话
别看人家
哪儿也别去
Don't
talk
to
anyone.
Don't
look
at
anyone.
Don't go anywhere.
别坐下
别举手
别上厕所
Don't
sit
down.
Don't
raise
your
hand.
Don't
go to the bathroom.
别被人注意
别选错储物柜
别
...
Don't
get
noticed.
Don't
choose
the
wrong
locker. Don't...
真是对牛弹琴
Who am I
kidding?
反正不到明年你就会死
或是在家学习了
You'll be
dead or homeschooled by the end of
the
year, anyway.
还有
别让人看见你跟罗利在一起
And
don't be seen with Rowley.
曼尼
停下
妈
Manny, stop it!
Mom!
谢谢你的鸡蛋
妈
Thanks for the
eggs, Mom.
上学第一天别迟到
Can't be late for your first day of
school.
供你记录在案
我觉得初中可能是
Let
me
just
say
for
the
record
that
I
think
middle school may be
人类史上最蠢的主意
the
dumbest idea ever invented.
有像我这样还没开始发育的孩子
You
got
kids
like
me
who
haven't
hit
their
growth spurt yet
跟一天要刮两次胡子的大
猩猩生活在同一
屋檐下
mixed
in
with
gorillas
who
have
to
shave
twice a day.
还有少年犯和怪胎们
There's
juvenile delinquents and weirdos.
我比我们学
校
%
的都要聪明
I'm
smaller
than
about
%
of
the
kids
at
my
school...
在我和这些傻逼之间
他起到了卓越的缓冲
作用
He's an excellent buffer between me and
these
morons.
嘿
格雷格
Hey, Greg.
嘿
伙计
Hey, fella!
说真的
不知道今年夏天的孩子怎么了
Seriously,
I
don't
know
what
happened
to
these
kids over the summer.
发生过核泄露事件吗
Was
there a nuclear accident?
失控的科学实验吗
Science
experiment gone bad?
感谢上帝还有一些正常人
Thank God there are a few normal people
where
to
sit
on
your
first
day
of
middle
school.
一着不慎
One bad move
剩下的这一年你可能都会困在某个白痴旁
边
and you're stuck next to some idiot
for the rest
of the year.
格雷格
Greg!
还记得我说罗利不适合上初中吗
Remember
how
I
said
Rowley
wasn't
middle
school ready?
您看着吧
Well, there
you go.
你穿的是什么啊
What are you wearing?
我家人刚从危地马拉回来
这是我的毛毯
My family
just got back from Guatemala! It's
是好还是坏
Is
good or bad?
我觉得你在第位左右
I'd say
you're somewhere around the
mark.
我把自己定位在第或
I'd put myself around number
or .
我今年可能还会升上第一位呢
I
might even have a shot at the top spot by the
end of the year,
如果事情进展顺利的话
if
things go the way I think they will.
那谁是垫底的
Well,
who's at the bottom?
嘿
伙计们
想看看我的秘密雀斑吗
好了
把针线活放下
我们走
Come on, put
the knitting down! Let's go!
好了
大家伙儿
All right,
everybody.
我是马隆教练
我是你们的体育老师
I'm
Coach Malone and I am your gym teacher.
体育对我而言的重要程度
P.E.
Is as much a part of my life
与早上起床后要上厕所是一样的
as
waking up in the morning and going to the
bathroom.
我生活与呼吸的意义就是体育
I
live and breathe Physical Education.
谁同意我的话
?
Now,
who's with me?
要不这儿就会变成怪人表演了
or this place would be a total freak
show.
如果你像我一样区别对待
If you're as discriminating as I am,
初中的第一天
it can be
tough to figure out
选座位可能会困难
my
serape!
漂亮吧
Nice,
huh?
好的
同学们
我是弗林特女士
大家请坐好
All right,
class, I'm Mrs. Flint. Everybody take
your seats!
这是你上初中的第一天
Welcome to your first day of middle
school.
记住自己的座位
以后的每天你都会坐在这
儿
Remember
your
seats.
You'll
be
sitting
here
every day.
罗利
如果以受欢迎的程度
Rowley,
if
you
had
to
say
where
you
were
ranked
把人分成到位
in terms
of popularity from one to ,
你会把自己放在多少位啊
where
would you put yourself?
Hey, guys,
wanna see my secret freckle?
弗雷格里
因为不讲卫生
每月至少被送回
家一次
Fregley. Sent home for hygiene issues
at least
once a month.
看啊
上头还有根毛呢
Check it
out. It's got a hair in it!
那是什么色啊
What color
is that?
想帮我给它起个名字吗
You wanna help me name it?
好了女生们
站到一起
All right,
ladies! Gather around!
准备好找些乐趣了吗
Are you
ready to have some fun out there?
是的
Yeah!
太好了
All right,
outstanding!
我要把你们分成两队
So we're gonna divide you up into two
teams.
你们俩过来
你
你和你
这边
So
you
two,
over
here.
You,
you,
you,
this
way.
好的
你们仨来这边
Yeah, you
three, this side. Good.
你们是
T
恤队
You guys are going to be Shirts!
你们是光膀子队
And you
will be Skins.
为什么我们是光膀子队
真讨厌
Why are we
Skins? I hate this.
他只是想让我们这样的孩子难过罢了
I
just
don't
want
to
get
a
sunburn,
right,
Rowley?
我叫贝尔·
E
·巴顿
My name is Bell
E. Button.
你呢
What's yours?
好的
先玩个小游戏吧
我叫它角斗士
Okay,
let's start off with a little game I like to
call Gladiator.
我的
不
I got this one!
No!
拿着
Take that!
掩护我
Cover me!
天哪
Oh, God.
不妙
Not good!
我们永远也跑不过他们
We're
never
going
to
be
able
to
outrun
these
guys!
我们不必跑过他们
We
don't
have
to
outrun
them!
只要跑过齐拉
格就行
We just have to outrun
Chirag!
看看
看看
Take a look,
take a look, take a
look
街上的孩
子
At the kids on the street*
他们永远不会失手
*
* No, they never miss a beat **
他们永远不
会失手
*
* Never miss a beat **
他们永远不会失手
*
* Never miss a beat **
他们永远不会失手
*
* Never miss a beat **
他们永远不会失手
*
*
Never
miss
a
beat
*
他们看到我们了吗
不可能
Think
they
saw
us?
No
way.
他们只
注意那个瘸脚的孩子<
/p>
They were focused on getting
that kid with the
limp.
下课之前我们都藏在这儿
We'll hide here for the
rest of the
class
因为我
才不参加那比赛呢
because I'm not playing
that game.
这不公平
It's not fair.
他把所有的原始人都分在一组里
的
真野蛮
He's got all the Neanderthals on the
same team.
It's
barbaric!
完全的野蛮
It's completely barbaric.
这儿是
一片智慧的废
墟
This
place
is
an
intellectual
wasteland.
但是
要知道
能遇见一个对头脑
But, you
know, it's nice to meet
someone
比对
He's just trying to
make kids like us feel bad.
我们这样的孩子是什么意思
What
do you mean, kids like us?
我不想被晒伤
罗利
身体更感兴趣的同僚
是很好的
more
interested
in
his
mind
than
in
his
body.
女生们跳绳
你怎么躲起来了
You
girls
get
to
jump
rope.
What
are
you
doing
hiding?
避开痛苦
Avoiding
the
pain.
都是从初中开始的
知道
吗
It
all starts in middle school, you
know?
你已
经不是孩子了
大人们不再宠你
You're
not
a
kid
anymore.
The
coddling
has
stop
ped.
孩子们以智商高低被分隔开
笨的
受尽欺负
Kids
are
now
separated
by
intelligence.
The
weak
are
picked <
/p>
on.
还有你从幼儿园就认识
的女生
And girls you've known since
kindergarten
不
再跟你说话了
won't even talk to you
anymore.
好吧
听起来
你参破红尘了
Okay, well, sounds like
you
got it all
figured
out,
那继续看书吧
so
go
back
to
your
book.
这地方是名副其实
的候宰栏
This place is a glorified holding
pen.
上啊
快
冲啊
你们就是机器
All
the
way!
All
the
way!
You're
like
a
machine!
当你从小孩
It's
where
adults
put
you
尴尬地过渡为成人
的时候
大人就把你放在这儿
as you
make that awkward transition between
child and teenager
这样他们连看都不用看
你
一眼了
so they
don't even have to look at
you.
嗨
我
是安吉
Hi. I'm Angie.
好故事
我们要走了
Great
story. We're gonna go
now.
为什么
这里
可是好地方
Why? This is a good
spot.
完美的地方
It's
a
perfect
spot.
我在这里熬过了漫长的年
级
I survived all of the sixth grade here.
我非常希
望有一些志趣相投的同伴
And
I
would
enjoy
some
like-
minded
company
陪我走过年级
to
get
me
through
the
seventh.
那是口哨声吗
我觉得听到口哨声了
Is that
the whistle? I think I hear the
whistle.
我们得走了
We
need to go.
别卖弄了
好吗
No
showboating, all
right?
我们为啥要走
Why
are we leaving?
我们在空地上会被弄死
的
We could get killed out here in the
open!
把上
衣穿上
他们会以为我们跟他们是一组的
Put your shirt on. They'll think we're
on their
team.
再说了
被撞总比被人看见跟那个怪胎
在一起好
Besides,
getting
crushed
is
better
than
being
seen
with
that
freak
job.
相信我
社交自杀是
没的救的
Trust me, you can't recover from social
suicide.
我很久没和一个女孩说过话了
I never talked to a girl that long
before.
看啊
Check
that out.
那是奶酪么
Is
that cheese?
住手
Stop!
天啊
你差点
奶酪附体
< br>Good
God,
man!
You
almost
got
the
Cheese
Touch.
啥
奶酪附体
The
what?
The
Cheese
Touch.
无人
知晓哪时哪刻
Nobody knows
when or how,
但是某天奶酪就
神秘出现在柏油路上
but one day that cheese
mysteriously appeared
on the
blacktop.
没人知道它是谁的
Nobody
knew
who
it
belonged
to.
没人去摸
也没人把它捡起扔掉
Nobody
touched it. Nobody threw it
away.
所
以它就一直躺在那
And so there it
sat,
日益发霉发臭
growing more foul and powerful by the
day.
然
后有一天
一个叫戴伦·沃尔什的孩子
Then
one day, a kid named Darren Walsh
犯
了个弥天大错
made the biggest mistake of his
life.
戴伦碰了
那块奶酪
Darren
touched
the
cheese!
不
我没有
!
我只
是看了一眼罢了
!
是真的
!
No, I
didn't! I just looked at it!
Really!
戴伦被
奶酪附体了
Darren
had
the
Cheese
Touch!
这比核虱
子还
可怕
It was worse
than nuclear
cooties.
大家都不敢
靠近他
He became an outcast.
保护自己免受<
/p>
“奶酪附
体”的唯一办法
The only way to get rid of the Cheese
Touch
就是找到下家
把霉运传出去
was by
passing it on to someone else.
于是所
谓的奶酪附体风暴宣告开始
And so
began the Cheese Touch
Frenzy.
朋友
传给朋友
Friend turning on
friend.
哥哥传给妹妹
Brother turning on
sister.
大家都疯了
It
was
madness.
直到一个叫
迪特尔·穆勒的
德国交换生
Until
a
German
exchange
student
named
Dieter
Muller
took
it
away.
迪特尔被奶酪附
体了
!
Dieter has the Cheese
Touch!
奶酪附体了
?
Ze
Cheese Touch?
那是什么
?
Vat is it?
什么叫奶酪附体
Vat
does
it
mean,
ze
Cheese <
/p>
Touch??
可怜的
迪特尔
由于语言障碍无从得知真相
Sadly
for
Dieter,
that
fact
was
lost
in
translati
on.
不
!!!!!!
Nooooo
oooooooooo...!
谢天谢地
他带着被
附体
的身子
Thankfully,
he
moved
back
to
Dusseldorf
回
到了杜塞尔多夫
and
took
the
Cheese
Touch
with
him.
而奶酪
就一直呆在那
等着下一个倒霉蛋
And so the cheese sits, patiently
waiting for its
next
victim.
这地方真可怕
This is a terrible
place.
没门的
?
没有
No
doors?
None.
在上高中之前我再
也不拉屎了
I'm not
pooping until I'm in high school.
自助
餐厅可能是地球上最痛苦的场所
The
cafeteria,
possibly
the
cruellest
place
on
Earth.
但我打算坐他旁边
But
I
was
about
to
make
some
kid's
day
by
sitting next to
him.
这座位有人了
That
seat's saved.
谁啊
For who?
反正有人了
It's
saved.
这个座位也有人了
That one's saved,
too.
有人了
So not
happening..
有人了
Taken.
我们该去哪吃饭
Where are we supposed to
eat?
我想潮人都在
这出没
I guess this is where all the cool guys
hang out.
弗雷格里小时候一定把自己的头给撞傻了
Fregley must have bumped his head when
he
was little, like, really
hard.
好了好了
Okay,
okay,
我的第一天本可以更好的
so my first day could have gone
better,
但至少
不算寒碜
but
at
least
I
wasn't
humiliated.
嘿
格雷格
!
你要一起玩么
?
Hey,
Greg! You want to come over and
play?
他刚说啥
?
What
did he just say to
you?
我想我该走了
I
think
my
ride's
here.
嘿
伙计们
刚这哥们
对他说
Hey, guys. So this guy says to that guy
,
要一
起玩么
?
是啊
你们
要加入么
?
Yeah! Do you guys wanna play with
us?
你看
这就是问题所在
See?
This
is
the
problem.
现在我只能接受那
群白痴的辱骂
Right
now
I
have
to
take
abuse
from
these
morons.
但是年后
昆廷就是看我脸色行事了
But
in
years,
Quentin
here
will
be
working
for
me.
格雷格
别吵我鱿鱼
Greg,
please don't fire me.
我的确需要这份帮
你清扫狗屎的卑贱工作
I really need my
measly, pathetic job scooping
your
dog's poop.
无论怎样
我会考虑的
Whatever.
I'll think about it.
不不不
底下是香
草
上面是巧克力
No,
no,
no.
Vanilla
on
the
bottom
and
chocolate on the
top!
这怎么吃得下去
!
I
can't eat this!
玩
罗
利
玩
Rowley?
我
跟你说过多少次
了
I've told you, like, a billion times
that
咱这年
纪的要说
转悠
而不是
玩
guys our age say
明白
Oops.
说真的
如果你不愿听我的
就直说
Seriously, if
you're not gonna listen to me, just
tell me,
因为你再这么不注意
'cause if you pull another stunt like t
hat,
我们
此后的中学午餐都要坐在餐厅的地板上吃
了
we'll be stuck on
the cafeteria floor for the rest
of
middle school.
我在那发现了半根士力架
I found half a Snickers bar down
there.
我不该
坐在餐厅的最底层
I
can't
be
the
guy
who
eats
off
his
lap
in
the
cafeteria.
我现在应该是站在食物链的最顶层
I should be at the top of the food
chain by now.
有些东西变得很快
Something's got to change,
fast.
我妈妈告诉我
做我自己就好
大家会喜欢我的
My mom
told me to just be myself and people
would
like
me.
如果你是别人
那还能算是个
好建议
That
would
be
good
advice
if
you
were
somebody
else.
嘿
小老弟
Hey,
little
brother.
你还
和第一天上学时那样
受欺负么
Was
your first day as crappy as I said it would
be?
不
你错了
No. Not at
all. You were wrong.
已经好多了
...
更糟了
It was
actually better than I...
Worse.
你没有听我话
对不
You
didn't
listen
to
me,
did
you?
我叫你不要
聊天
到处乱转
看看怎么着
I
told
you
not
to
talk,
look
or
go
anywhere,
and
what
happened
?
他必须坐在地板上吃午
饭
He
had
to
eat
his
lunch
on
the
floor.
罗利
太好玩了
Rowley.
Per
fect.
如果没人想看你坐
在桌边吃饭
And if nobody wants you sitting at
their
table,
那他们怎么可能会找他的胖子好友呢
?
you
think
they
want
Chummy
Buttons
over
here?
我是对的
你在那根本活不下去
I was
right. You're not even gonna make it out
of there alive.
你能进入年鉴册的唯一机会就
是
The
only
chance
you
have
of
making
the
yearbook
is
学校当做纪念送给你
when
they dedicate it to your memory.
你想玩
疯狂巫师
么
?
So
you
wanna
play
Twisted
Wizard?
不
我有
个更好的主意
No.
I
have
a
better
idea.
如果他看到你在这
他会杀了你的
If he
catches you in here, he will kill
you.
我是
说真的杀了你
Literally,
kill
you.
别担心
只要音乐没停
咱
就没事
Don't
worry.
As
long
as
we
hear
the
music,
we're
okay.
我不知道罗德里克竟然喜欢机车
I
didn't
know
Rodrick
was
into
motorcycles.
是我发现的
发现什么
?
I
found
it.
Found
what?
在罗德里克<
/p>
的初中年鉴里看到的
Rodrick's
middle
school
yearbook.
这
东西说
明了一切
This
thing holds all the
answers.
罗利
这东西
就像本圣经
Rowley, this thing is like a
bible.
看到没
都是
记录像我这样的人的
See this? This is where a person like
me needs
to
be.
全班的最爱
The
class favorites.
他们是班里最棒的
They're
the
best
in
their
class.
这些人不是无
名氏
他们都是风云人物
These
people aren't nobodies. They're
famous.
他们不必担心在餐厅里没位子坐
They don't have to worry about getting
a seat
in the cafeteria,
either.
你看这个
有很多项我
都符合标准
Check this out. There's tons of things
I qualify
for.
前途无量
班草
班级小丑
Likely
To
Succeed,
Looking,
Clown.
他们应该现在就把我载入年
鉴册
They should just give that to me right
now.
你
必须要选那样么
Don't
you have to be funny
for that?
嘿
我们
可以竞选最佳伙伴
!
Hey! We could try for cutest
friends!
我是怎么
说的
如果你再跑到我的房间会怎样
What did I tell you would happen if you
ever
went in my room
again?
但是你的乐队还在排
练
But
your
band
is
still
playing.
那是贝斯独奏
小基佬
!
你懂音乐么
?
It's
the
bass
solo,
Turd
Burglar!
Don't
you
know
anything about
music?
我是过来拿鼓槌
的
Now, I came up here to get a new
drumstick,
格雷格
既然爸妈都不在家
and now,
Greg, since Mom and Dad are
gone,
那我就要杀了你
绝无虚言
I'm going to
kill you.
Literally, kill
yo
u!
我警
告过你的
I told
you.
等着挨揍吧
Beat
it.
好吧
但我还要说一句
!
Okay,
but
I
just
want
to
say
one
thing!
快跑
格雷格
快跑
什么
?
Run,
Greg,
run!
What?
放开我
胖河
马
!
Let go, Baby
Hippo!
你总要出来的
败家犬
!
You're
gonna
have
to
come
out
sometime,
loser!
我就在这等着
I'll wait here as long as it
takes.
然后
你就死
定了
And
then,
you're
dead.
暂停
罗德里克
我要
尿尿
Time out, Rodrick. I have to
pee.
没有暂停
只
有一死
!
No
time
outs.
Only
death!
但
我
憋
不
住
了
关我嘛事
But I really have to go.
Don't
care.
快
让开
我要尿出来了
Move over!
I'm dying.
抓到你了
!
Got you!
格雷格
你刚是不是把曼尼
...
Greg,
did
you
throw
Manny
off
his...<
/p>
你们在
搞什么
What
is
going
on?
是格雷格先惹事的
我只
是进来洗个澡
Greg
started
it.
I
just
came
in
here
to
take
a
shower.
他撒谎
!
他要杀了我
因为我进到他
房间了
!
He's lying! He was gonna kill me 'cause
I was
in his
room!
所以你就尿他身上
?
And so you peed on
him?
是的
不是
我是说
Yes. I mean, no. I
mean...
是的
Yes.
哇
有很多活动可以报名啊
Wow,
there's
a
lot
to
sign
up
for.
在很多方面
你一定是全班第一
You
could
be
class
favorite
in
a
bunch
of
things.
爵士舞
Jazz
dancing!
我们可以一起跳
We could do that one together!
怎么会有这些
活动的
太折腾人了
I
can't
believe
all
these
activities.
They're
all
so
much work.
放学后
上课前
周末
Staying
after
school,
meeting
before
school,
on
weekends.
这都是些什么课余活动
What
kind
of
extracurricular
activities
are
these?
让开
Out of my
way.
谁让你入学的
格雷格·哈夫
里
Who let you into this school, Greg
Heffley?
我
和你在想同一件事
帕蒂·费雷尔
I was
thinking the same thing about you, Patty
Farrell.
你听好了
格雷格·哈夫里
You
listen to me, Greg Heffley.
我正在竞选学
生会主席
我警告你
I'm
running
for
student
council
president
and
I'm
warning
you,
如果你敢捣乱
你就等着挨
揍吧
if you get in my way, I will beat you u
p,
就像
你在幼儿园和四年级那会一样
just like I did in kindergarten and
fourth grade.
四年级
?
那人真丑
Fourth
grade?
That
one
was
ugly.
她怎么了
我对她做什么了
What's
her problem? What did I ever do to
her?
帕蒂是个长了张老鼠脸的肥婆
Patty,
Patty
is
a
fatty,
has
a
face
just
like
a
ratty!
拜托
那多搞笑
她缺点幽默细胞
Come on,
that was pretty funny. She needs to
get
a sense of
humor.
而我要努力成为班级明
星
And
I
need
something
to
make
me
a
class
favorite.
什么班级明星
What
about
class
favorites?
你在说话前都不
打招呼的么
Don't you ever say hi or hello before
you start
talking?
嗨
嗨
Hi.
Hel
lo.
格雷格来这的唯一原因就
是希望能成为风云人物
Oh, Greg's only here because he
really wants
to be
something...
罗利
!
Rowley!
我真的很想击败这些人
I
was
just
saying
that
I
would
really
like
to
nail these
people
很明显
because
it's
so
obvious <
/p>
that
他们做这些活动
就是为了能进入
年鉴册
they're only doing these
activities to get in the
yearbook.
我喜欢你的观点
You know, I like your point of
view.
你应该参
与校报的制作
我们说的都是学生的心声
You
should sign up for the school paper. We're
the voice of the people.
不过学生
大部分都是
傻子
所以
严格来说
Well, the
people are mostly idiots, so I guess,
technically
speaking,
我们代表的是专门戏弄
别人的学生
we're
the
voice
of
the
people
making
fun
of
the people.
多谢
但我不能
Thanks, but I can't be on the paper
因为我将
来会接受很多采访
because I'm gonna be in the paper a
lot.
那会
产生利益冲突
So that would be a conflict of
interest.
你也是
傻子
我明白了
You're
the
people.
Got
it.
你现在相信我了么
那女人就是一疯子
Do
you
believe
me
now?
That
girl
is
crazy
town.
看
有摔跤活动
Look! They
have wrestling!
这就对了
我最会
摔跤了
That's it! I'm great at
wrestling.
我都看了几年
了
动作我都知道
I've
watched it for years, I know all the
moves.
打桩
Tombstone
piledriver
椅式重击
Chair shot.
韦德炸弹摔
Vader
Bomb.
哈夫里
!
哈夫里
!
哈夫里
!
哈
夫里
!
Heffley!
Heffley!
Heffley!
Heffley!
哈夫里
!
哈夫里
!
哈夫里
!
Heffley!
Heffley! Heffley!
这其中好像有什么
误会<
/p>
Okay.
Something
is
very
wrong
here.
在我看
来
这不像摔跤服
These
don't
look
like
wrestling
costumes
to
me.
欢迎来到摔跤社
未来的奥运选手们
Welcome
to wrestling, you future
Olympians!
为了确保第一天能进展顺利
So, just to make sure we all get off on
the right
foot
没人严重受伤
and nobody gets seriously injured,
我们会教你
们一些基本动作
we're
gonna
teach
you
a
few
basic
moves.
记
住
我们的宗旨就是学习运动
享受乐趣
!
Remember,
this is about learning the sport and
having fun!
好了
这不是比赛
All right.
It's not a competition
因为这里的每
个人对我来说都已是超级巨星
because
everyone here is already a superstar to
me.
布鲁尔教练
你能过来下么
Coach
Brewer,
can
you
step
over
here
for
a
moment,
帮个忙
谢谢
please,
give
me
a
hand?
Thanks.
这个动作
叫
快速摔倒
That's
known as a speed
takedown.
干得好
布
鲁尔教练
Nice
job,
Coach <
/p>
Brewer.
你能起来站我后面
么
Can you get up and come
behind
me?
然后把
手放我肩上方
来吧
Put one arm
over my shoulder? Let's go,
yeah.
起来
站后面
You
got
it,
walk
it
off,
come
on.
这叫作托臂
摔
That was known as the arm
drag.
大家给布鲁
尔教练鼓鼓掌
Let's
give
Coach
Brewer
a
hand,
everybody!
他没事
He's fine.
好的
哈夫里
Yeah,
Heffley.
打桩跟韦德炸弹摔呢
What
about
piledrivers
and
Vader
bombs?
那
是山寨摔跤
That is fake
wrestling.
这才是正版的摔跤
上
吧
This is real wrestling! Let's
go!
如果是我跟本
尼·威尔士摔
他会杀了我的
If I have
to wrestle Benny Wells, he'll kill
me!
上吧
开始
Let's move!
Come on!
好吧
为了公平起见
Okay,
to
keep
things
fair,
我会根据体型把你
们分成不同的
重量级
I've
divided
you
into
weight
categories
by
your size,
罗纳威犬来这边
so Rottweilers over
here.
牛头犬
你们待在这
儿
Bulldogs, you stay right
there.
还有两只
And we
got two
小吉娃娃
是的
Chihuahuas.
Yeah.
好头饰
Nice
head gear.
谢谢
我妈妈借给我的
Thanks.
My mom let me borrow it.
好的
看看
你有什么能耐
All right, let's see what you
got.
别担心
弗雷
格里
我会对你温柔的
Don't
worry,
Fregley,
I'll take it
easy on
you.
嘿
我还没准备好呢
Hey, I
wasn't ready!
没人给你计分
但这个放
倒又快又狠
弗雷格里
Nobody's
keeping score, but that was a sweet
speed takedown,
Fregley!
真好玩
格雷格·哈
夫里
This is fun, Greg
Heffley!
放开我
Get
off me!
弗雷格里
弗雷格里
弗雷格里
Fregley!
Fregley! Fregley!
吹哨子
快吹哨子
Blow the
whistle, blow the whistle!
好了
弗雷
格里
All right!
Fregley!
很出色
Outst
anding!
让我们
...
听听虽败
犹荣这方是
怎么说的
And
let's...Let's hear it for our other
winner.
耶
格雷格
Yay,
Greg!
我不能再输给弗雷格里了
I can't lose to Fregley again.
如果我被全校最
脑残的怪胎打败了
If I get beat by the weirdest kid in sc
hool,
更没
人会让我上桌吃饭了
nobody's ever gonna let me sit at their
table.
你
要怎么打败他
?
他好像有超人的力量
How
are
you
going
to
beat
him?
It's
like
he
had
superhuman
strength!
我不会去跟他打的
我这周要长重磅
I'm
not
gonna
beat
him.
I'm
gonna
gain
pounds
this
week
那我就能加入牛头犬那组
了<
/p>
so I can move up to the
Bulldog weight
class.
之后我就能跟你摔了
And then you and I can wrestle each
other.
准
备好了吗
Ready?
这次能换我向你扔吗
等等
Can I throw at you now?
Later.
你骑
得比我好
我扔得比你好
You're
better
at
riding
than
I
am,
and
I'm
a
better
thrower.
格雷格
给别人留点儿
Greg, save
some for everybody else,
honey.
不
行
我急着长块头呢
Can't. I
need to bulk up.
为什么
Why?
我觉得你现在的身材就很好看
I think your body looks beautiful just
the way
it
is.
我听说他摔跤给摔得很惨
I
heard he got his butt kicked at wrestling.
< br>现
在又发什么神经了
Now
what
is
wrong
with
you?
为什么要报名
参加不必须做的事
Why
would
you
sign
up
for
something
you
don't have
to do?
你报名摔跤
?
You
signed up for wrestling?
差不多吧
Kind
of.
在学校不能报名参加任何活动
You never sign up for anything at
school.
要低
调行事
You fly below the
radar.
以免引起别人的期望
That
way
you
never
raise
anyone's
expectations.
谢谢你的人生真谛
罗德里克
Thank
you,
Rodrick,
for
those
words
of
motivational
wisdom,
但也许这样来看待更好
but perhaps a better way to look at it
is
that
这
是学精某样东西的机会
it's a chance to learn to excel at
something.
在
学校学的东西
哪样不能自学啊
Well,
what could I learn at school that I can't
teach myself?
格雷格
我觉得这是好事
Well,
Greg, I think it's great
that
你能主动去
学习新的事物
you took the initiative to learn
something new.
这就像是培养责任感的第一步
This is like the first step to responsi
bility!
我老
板的儿子威尔当时比你还瘦
My boss's son Will was smaller
than
you,
但他
成功地练成了大块头
but he built himself up with the weight
s!
我们
可以给你买一样的健身器材
Yeah. We could get you the same
equipment.
你可以锻炼
摄入营养
心肺锻炼
You could
train, get the right nutrition,
cardio.
你可以像威尔一样变得身材一流
You'd be in tip-top shape just like
Will.
这只需
要大概
个月吧
And it would
only take, like, three
months.
个
月
?
是的
Three
months?
Yeah.
我还是靠多吃
饭好了
I'll
just
stick
to
eating.
不知道你把加重袋放
哪儿了<
/p>
哈夫里
Well, I don't know where you put it,
Heffley,
你重了磅
加入牛头犬小组了
but
you
gained
pounds
and
joined
the
Bulldog
class.
好耶
Yes.
我还以为你这周没长胖呢
I thought you didn't gain any weight
this week.
我妈的踝部加重袋
My
mom's
ankle
weights.
好了
牛头犬哈夫
里
见过你的新对手
All
right,
bulldog
Heffley.
Meet
your
new
opponent.
什么
这不是男子摔跤吗
What?
But
this
is
boys'
wrestling.
听
说过
教
育修正案第九条
吗
?(
保障女性权益
)
Ever hear of Title
IX?
她爸妈扬言要告我们
Her
parents threatened to
sue,
那你教教她
铁
血真汉子摔起跤来是怎样的
so you show her what it's like to
wrestle a real
live
boy.
快啊
等什么呢
真是胆小鬼
哈夫
里
Come
on!
What
you
waiting
for,
huh?
Don't
be
such a wuss, Heffley.
来吧
她是女生
我可以抓她哪儿啊
Make
your
move!
She's
a
girl!
Where
do
I
grab
her?
趴下吧
帕蒂
看
这儿
Stay
down!
Patty,
over
here!
放开我
现在能跟像样点的人摔了吧
Get
off
of
me!
Can
I
wrestle
somebody good
now?
女同胞们的重要一天
A
GREAT
DAY
FOR
WOMEN
看谁上校报
了
Well, look who's in the
paper.
格雷格
你出名
了
上头条了
Greg! You're
famous! Right on the front
page!
如果我放倒了她
那倒是很容易的一件事情
And
if I would have pinned her, which I could
have
done
easily,
但我会因为伤害女生而惹
麻烦的
you
know
I
would
have
gotten
in
trouble
for
hurting a
girl.
她为什么要摔跤啊
Why
does she even want to
wrestle?
谁知道呢
女孩真让人搞不懂
Who
knows? Girls are very
confusing.
就像今
天
我在走廊听到有人说
Like
today,
I
heard
someone
in
the
hallway
say
布莱斯·
安德森的屁股很可爱
那是什么
意思
that
Bryce
Anderson
has
a
cute
butt.
What
does
that
even
mean?
屁股怎么能可爱
不就
是个屁股吗
A butt can't be cute. It's a
butt.
我知道
但她们
是这么说的
I know, but that's what they were sayin
g.
不明
白我们这年纪的女孩
I don't see why girls our
age
为啥不能像正常
人一样说话
can't talk just like regular people.
那你现在要
怎么当全班最喜爱人物啊
So how are you gonna become a class
favorite
now?
两个字
打扮
那你要怎么做
Two
words.
Best
Dressed.
How
are
you going to do
that?
时尚太简单了
Fashion
is
easy.
穿衬衣系领带
小屁孩儿就
会震精的
You
wear
a
shirt
and
a
tie,
and
kids
are
impressed.
告诉你吧
这回一定妥妥儿的
I'm
telling
you,
this
is
gonna
work.*
汽车明
星也不如我
*
* I light 'em up before
the motor starts **
我
走得快
我停不下
*
* I go so fast that I could never stop
**
看我
的正脸
你不知我的能耐
*
*
Look
under
the
hood
but
you
don't
know
what I got **
我就是个祸害
宝贝
*
*
I'm a
moving
violation, baby
**
辣
辣
辣
*
*
Hot,
hot,
hot,
hot
*
我说了我要这么穿
我知道啊
I told you I was wearing this.
I
know!
我希望能跟你配起来
看他们啊
I wanted to
be matchers!
Check them
out!
格雷格和罗利坐在树上
Greg and Rowley sitting in a
tree
甜甜蜜蜜亲
嘴嘴
Kl-S-S-l-
N-G
先是爱
...
First
comes
love...
要知道
罗德里克对罗利
的评价可能是正确的
You
know,
maybe
Rodrick
was
right
about
Rowley.
也许我真
的需要个新朋友了
Maybe I do need a
new best
friend.
但我不能
就这么抛下他
But I can't just ditch
him.
我是说
如果别人有
更好的主意
我真想听一听
I
mean, if anybody has a better idea, I'd
love
to hear
it.
做自己棒极了
IT'S
AWESOME
TO
BE
ME
这所学校也跟
你的一样
< br>
In this school, much like your
own,
一个男孩
将要学会重要的一课
one boy is about to learn an important
lesson
那就是自我价值和自尊
about self-worth and
esteem.
真要吐死了
Gag
me
with
a
spoon.
他真不受欢迎
真不想
成为他
That guy is so unpopular, I'd hate to
be him.
为
什么大家都不喜欢我
Why doesn't anybody like
me?
也许是因为你
不知道
你自己是多么有才
Maybe
because
they
don't
know
how
awesome you really
are.
布鲁克·
布莱尼甘
你
怎么在这儿
Brock Branigan P.I.! What are you doing
here?
我来帮助这个孩子实现自己的价值
I'm here to solve the case of the boy
who just
needed
to
be
himself.
去表现吧
让他们看看
你有多棒
So
go
for
it!
Show
them
how
awesome
you
really are!
伙计们
喜欢霹雳舞吗
Hey, guys.
Do you like break
dancing?
跳得真
不赖
That
is
totally
rad!
太棒了
午饭时跟我们坐
吧
朋友
Wicked.
You
should
sit
with
us
at
lunch,
friend.
好极
Sweet!
做自己真的很棒
谢谢
布鲁克
It really is awesome to be me! Thanks,
Brock.
棒极了
AWESOME!
好的
我们来谈谈都学到了什
么
Okay.
Let's
talk
about
what
we've
learned.
不
知道别人怎样
反正我是有收获
I
don't
know
about
anyone
else,
but
I
know
what I
learned.
做我自己是很酷的
It is awesome to be
me.
罗利的毛病是他不够
像我
The
problem
with
Rowley
is
that
he's
not
enough
like
me.
我不能抛弃他
因为没有我
他会迷失的
I can't ditch him 'cause he'd be lost
without me.
但也许我能把他改造好
But
maybe
I
can
fix
him.
因为我就是这种良
师益友
Because that's the kind of friend I
am.
你在干
什么
What
are
you
doing?
改造你的着装
让你在
中学更受欢迎一些
Making
your
clothes
more
middle-school
friendly.
看这玩意
又幼稚又奇怪
Look at
this stuff. Too babyish and
weird.
这衣
服简直在说
直接打死我算了
To
o
don't
you
just
punch
me
now?
你
是什么啊
外国交流生吗
What are
you, a foreign exchange
student?
天
哪
这件还是烧掉算了
Oh, man.
This one we
burn.
那是我妈妈送我
的礼物
That was a present from my
mom.
那你妈是想
把你杀了
Well,
then
your
mom
is
trying
to
get
you
killed.
准备好
走
Ready?
Steady.
Go.
不不不
你就跟小矮人一
样
No,
no,
no.
You
look
like
one
of
the
Seven
Dwarfs.
只背一根带就够了
单肩背才酷
You only
need one strap. One strap is
cool.
但
总共有两根带啊
But
there's
two
straps.
如果只用一根带
那人
家设计两根带干吗
Why
would
they
put
on
two
straps
if
you're
only supposed to use
one?
因为做背包的人们
不酷
Because the guys who make backpacks
aren't
cool.
如果他们酷
就会少做一根的
If they
were cool, they'd give it one
strap,
就像
单肩背包的潮人那样
like the cool one-strap guys
do.
知道啥东西只
有一根带吗
机关枪
You know what
has one strap? Machine
guns.
还有什么
电吉它
You
know
what
else?
Electric
guitars.
还有呢
钱包
?
You know what
else?
Purses?
但乔什
很酷
罗利
乔什不酷
But Joshie
is cool.
Rowley, Joshie is
not
cool.
他是个假唱歌星
粉丝都是岁的女
娃
He's
a
lip-
synching
pop
star
whose
fans
are
eight-year-old
girls.
你是嫉妒
因为是我发现
他的
You're
just
jealous
that
I
was
the
one
who
discovered
him.
你打算听谁的
罗利
是我还
是乔什
Who are you gonna listen to, Rowley? Me
or
Joshie?
乔什说要尊重父母
跟随自己的梦想
Joshie says to respect your parents and
follow
your
dreams.
那乔什从小一定挨了不少打
Then
Joshie
must
get
beaten
up
a
lot.
你看起
< br>来都快跟我一样帅了
You actually
almost look as good as
me.
我是
不是妙手回春啊
Am I great at this or
what?
布莱斯·安德森来
了
酷一点
There's Bryce
Anderson. Just be cool.
嘿
布莱
斯
布莱斯
嗨
Hey,
Bryce.
Yeah,
hey,
Bryce!
屁股
真可爱
Cute
butt!
你真是让我不得安生
知道吗
You're
killing
me,
you
know
that?
听着
罗利
今晚是万圣节
Look,
Rowley,
tonight's
Halloween,
我们一年
中最喜欢的夜晚
our favorite night of the
year,
向我保证
你不
会穿得奇怪
so, just promise me you won't
wear,
做奇怪的
事或说奇怪的话
do or say anything
weird.
你玩我呢吧
?
You're
kidding
me,
right?
我妈妈想让我在
夜
里醒目一点
My mom
wanted me to be visible at
night.
别
被殒石打到吗
From
space?
我们去北边时路过几家人
So,
we'll
hit
a
few
houses
on
the
way
to
the
North Side
,
到北边再大肆玩
不给糖就捣乱
which
is
where
we'll
do
most
of
our
trick-or-
treating.
为什么要大老远去那儿啊
Why are we going all the way over
there?
有钱
人都住在那儿
It's
where
the
rich
people
live.
他们给每个孩
子两三块大糖
They
hand
out,
like,
two,
three
pieces
of
big
candy to each
kid.
不是糖豆之类的垃圾
Not
that
candy
corn <
/p>
crap.
那可是整条的星河
牛奶巧克力
和果仁饼干
I'm
talking
about
full-size
Milky
Ways
and
Nutter Butters.
再说
如果我们去得赶巧
Plus, if
we time it right,
富人们懒得开门了
rich people get tired of answering
their doors
会直接把装糖果的碗放在门外
and
just
leave
the
bowl
out.
我们就能清扫战
场了
We can clean up.
哇
你好走运
Wow, you're
lucky.
我妈早就不让我偷玩化妆
品了
My
mom
doesn't
let
me
play
with
makeup
anymore.
闭上鸟嘴
哥今晚有演出哦
Shut up,
tool. Loded Diper's got a gig
tonight.
嗯
Mmm.
要去北边啊
Going
to
the
North
Side,
huh?<
/p>
千万别靠近魔
鬼崇拜者森林
Takes
you
right
past
the
Devil
Worshiper
Woods.
魔鬼崇拜者森林
?
The
Devil
Worshiper
Woods?
你
们知道那个
传说吧
You know
about that story,
right?
现在的树林
所在的位置
以前是座房子
Well,
there
used
to
be
this
house
right
here
where
these
woods
are.<
/p>
因为里面发生过非人
的悲剧
They
had
to
tear
it
down
他们不得不把房子
拆掉了
because
what
happened
there
was
so
terrible.
那里发生过什么
What
happened
there?
很久以前
有两个小鬼
多大来着
Well,
a
long
time
ago,
two
kids
who
were,
I
don't
know,
也就是上初中吧
maybe
in
middle <
/p>
school,
他们在万圣节的晚
上去那
所房子要糖
they
trick-
or-treated
at
that
house
on
Halloween
night.
但房子里全是魔鬼崇拜者
But the house was full of devil worship
ers
他
们把那俩孩子放进超大的烤箱
who put the kids in these giant pizza
ovens.
把
他们烤熟
然后吃掉
And they
cooked them and they ate
them.
但他
们忘了关掉烤箱
But they forgot to turn off the
ovens.
所以房子
着火了
里面的人全烧死了
So the
house burned down with everyone in
it.
那树林是怎么出现的
How'd the trees get
there?
事后他们在那儿种
上了树
And then they planted
trees.
哦
Oh.
所以
每年的万圣节之夜
And to
this day, on Halloween night,
你仍然可
以听到魔鬼崇拜者们疯狂的笑声
you can
still hear the demonic laughter of the
devil
worshiper
ghosts
他们是在树林里漫步
寻找更多的孩子献祭
as they
roam the woods, looking for more kids
to sacrifice!
嘿
罗德里克
过来帮我一下
Hey,
Rodrick.
I
need
you
to
help
me
out.
Like...
你画眼线了吗
Are
you
wearing <
/p>
eyeliner?
不
给
糖
就
搞
乱
苏珊
Trick
or
treat.
Susan!
我管着开门
谢谢
I'm on door
duty!
Thank you.
奶子
Bubby!
妈妈
能让他别这么叫我吗
Mom,
can you tell him to stop calling me
that?
有人听到怎么办
What
if
somebody
hears
?
那他们就会知道他
有多爱你
Then they'll know how much he loves
you.
弗
兰克
弗兰克
宝贝
你能陪他们一起去吗
Frank,
Frank,
honey,
honey,
can
you
go
with
them?
不行
我得保卫房子
防止有人趁机搞
破坏
No,
I
can't.
I
got
to
guard
the
house
in
case