英语写作的笑话之四

英语写作的笑话之四

46/ The Best Answer

A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the

question:

only save one painting, which one would you carry out?

The winning reply was:

47/Moses & Jesus

A burglar breaks into a house. He sees a CD player that he

wants

so

he

takes

it.

Then

he

hears

a

voice

is

watching

you

He

looks

around

with

his

flashlight

wandering

was that?” He spots some $$ on a

table

and

ta

kes

it......Once

again

he

hears

a

voice

“J

esus

is

watching you

voice came from. He spots a birdcage with a parrot in it! He

goes over and asks “Was that your voice?

Yes

then

says

your

name?”

It

says

oses

The

burglar says “What kind of person names his bird

Moses??

The

parrot

replies

same

person

that

names

his

Rottweiler ‘J

esus

’

48/ Skinny Dipping

One day Jimmy went down to the pond for a dip, but before

he could dive in he spied his teacher, Mrs. Smith, emerging

from

nude

bathing.

When

Mrs.

Smith

saw

Jimmy,

she

grabbed

the

nearest

object

-

which

happened

to

be

an

old

wooden box - and held it in front of her.

thinking that box has a bottom on it!

49/ The Bait

A man and his wife were on a holiday. They went for a sail.

Unfortunately the wife fell overboard and was drowned. The

man asked the pier-master to let him know if her body was

found.

Two

weeks

later

he

received

a

wire

saying:

recovered yesterday covered with crabs. Send instructions.

The

man

sent

a

wire

back

saying,

crabs,

send

the

money; reset bait.

50/ Chaude and Cold

A patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom

and got scalded.

faucet marked C gave me boiling water.

should know that if you live in Montreal.

marked C.

Montreal is a bilingual city.

51/ You Can Marry Any One of Them

One

day

a

girl

brings

home

her

boyfriend

and

tells

her

father

she

wants

to

marry

him.

After

talking

to

him

for

a

while, he tells his daughter she can't do it because he's her

half

brother.

The

same

problem

happens

again

four

more

times! The girl starts to get pissed off. She goes to her mom

and says,

Dad's

been

going

around

laying

every

maiden

in

the

town

and

now

I

can't

marry

any

of

the

five

guys

I

like

because

they have turned out to be my half brothers!!!

Her mom replies,

one of them you want, he isn't really your dad.

52/ Free Advice?

A

doctor

and

a

lawyer

were

talking

at

a

party.

Their

conversation

was

constantly

interrupted

by

people

describing

their

ailments

and

asking

the

doctor

for

free

medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor

asked

the

lawyer,

do

you

do

to

stop

people

from

asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?

give

it

to

them,

replied

the

lawyer,

then

I

send

them a bill.