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Why on earth would you let them finger
paint before breakfast? It
’
s
my job to clean that up
now, so
it
’
s my call. Some
households reserved roles.
Let
’
s give this another
shot. Some old fame
was put out. You
want me back? It has to be something
you
’
re ingesting. Who
prepares your meals?
I understand
you
’
ve been having some
marital problems. And while some learn to forgive,
others
could not bring themselves to
forget their past. D got pregnant before I went to
jail. Z is your son,
isn
’
t he?
The
remarkable
thing
about
Danny
Farrell
was
that
he
had
only
been
a
paperboy
for
six
months,
and in that time, he had become the enemy of every
woman on Wisteria Lane.
If there
was
a
puddle
on
someone
’
s
property,
he
found
it.
If
a
new
rosebush
had
just
been
planted,
he
destroyed it. If a cat was enjoying a
moment in the sun, he ended it. People wondered if
Danny
would ever change. They should
have talked to Susan Mayer. She could have told
them obnoxious
boys tend to become
obnoxious men, just like the one she had been
married to. Karl, I see you.
Just stop
right there. What are you doing?
I’
m just getting the paper.
That
’
s
Edie
’
s paper, and this
is Edie
’
s house.
Do we have to do this now? I
haven
’
t had my coffee yet.
Did you spend the night
with Edie?
Susie, just calm down. You are forbidden from ever
seeing her again. Do you hear me?
Forbidden! We
’
re
divorced. You can
’
t tell me
who I can date. I live on this street. Your
daughter
lives
on
this
street.
I
will
not
have
you
flaunting
your
sexcapades
in
front
of
us.
Sexcapades?
Forbidden!
I
would
love
to
continue
this,
but
it
’
s
time
for
breakfast,
and
Edie
is
making
me
a
frittata. I
just bet she is. I gotta to tell you. Now is not a
good time, Danny. You
’
re a
month behind
in your payments.
I’
ll take care of it, I
promise. My dad says, if you read something and
don
’
t pay
for it,
that
’
s the same as stealing.
Can we talk about this later? I just found out my
ex is dating my
neighbor, and I really
ticked off. Save it! I provide you a service, and
I deserve to be paid for that
service.
Yes, the women of Wisteria Lane believe Danny
Farrell to be the enemy. Deadbeat! They
also believed the enemy of my enemy is
my friend.
Beautiful lawns,
spacious homes, happy families, these are the
hallmarks of suburbia, but if
you look
beneath the veneer of gracious living,
you
’
ll see a battle raging
----a battle for control.
You
see
the
combatants
everywhere
engaged
in
their
routine
skirmishes.
Go
out
here.
Fighting
fiercely to have
domination over the world around them, all the
while knowing it
’
s a battle
they
’
ll
lose.
Just stick that anywhere.
I’
ll take care of it.
It
’
s really piling up.
Don
’
t worry. I have a
system.
Really? Yeah, every two days, I
clean. Two days. Yeah, I let the mess accumulate
for two days,
and then I clean until
it
’
s sparking, and then, the
cycle starts all over again. And why have I never
the
sparking
part?
Well,
because
by
the
time
you
get
home
from
work,
the
boys
have
messed
everything up again.
See? That
’
s what I would
call a flaw in the system. What are you doing? I
think
I’
m asking
you to clean the house. Because it sounds to me
like you
’
re criticizing me.
I’
m
not saying it
has to be sparking. How many times did I come home
to a mass and I never said a
word?
Please, don
’
t take this the
wrong way. I think you are doing a terrific job,
but let
’
s be clear.
When you came home, it was to clutter.
I mean, come on, this is more than that.
Look at him, just chatting
away. So inconsiderate. Phyllis,
we
’
ve only been waiting her
for
two minutes. I told you when we
left the house that I needed to eat. I have a low
blood sugar. Do
you
wanna
see
me
keel
over?
No,
in
theory.
Here
you
are.
By
the
way,
I
heard
about
you
husband
’
s
passing.
I’
m so sorry. D was
one of my favorite customers, truly.
That
’
s very sweet of
you.
I’
m not just
being polite. How are you feeling?
We
’
re holding up as best we
can under the
circumstances.
I’
m sorry. This is
Rex
’
s mother, Phyllis.
I’
m so sorry about your son.
You know,
the
hardest
thing
is
to
lose
a
child.
I
can
’
t
even
imagine.
Come
on,
Phyllis.
Let
’
s
get
you
something
to eat. We had no warning. I was doing dishes when
I got the call. Phyllis, there are
people waiting, so come on. Excuse me.
I’
m so sorry, but my son
just passed away. I mean I was
telling
p here. My life is over. My life is over.
This
is
ridiculous,
you
know
that? Pen.
Don
’
t
you
think
I
have
better
things
to
do
than
to
bring
your checks every day, checks that I could be
signing at home? This one
’
s
dry. You know,
taking away my access to
our account, that
’
s just
vindictive. Do you know how long it takes me to
schlep out here to this hellhole?
Exactly. It
’
s the only I can
guarantee you
’
ll come and
visit me.
That
’
s
ridiculous. You
’
re my
husband. I love you. Obviously, I would come
visit. I thought it was
obvious that
when
you love someone,
you
wouldn
’
t have an affair.
I was wrong,
wasn
’
t
I?
I’
m
getting
really
tired
of
this
song,
Carlos.
Isn
’
t
it
about
time
you
forgave
me?
You
want
my
forgiveness, you got it. My trust that
you
’
re gonna have to earn.
Be careful, Carlos. Up until now,
I’
ve been really lonely in
that big bed of ours, but when
you
’
re rude to me, it makes
me wanna be
not so lonely. Comments
like that are exactly why
you
’
ll never again have
access to my money.
Why
all
rich
men
are
jerks?
The
same
reason
all
beautiful
women
are
bitches.
So
same
time
tomorrow?
What
do you mean, you know? I mean, I know. What are
you saying, that your father actually
told you he was gonna be having a one
night stand with Edie Britt? This
wasn
’
t a one night stand.
He
’
s been going
out with Ms. Britt for a few months now. How could
you not tell me that? We
share
everything. That
’
s what
we
’
re known for.
That
’
s our thing. Because I
knew you
’
d wig out.
Besides,
haven
’
t
you
always
told
me
to
respect
people
’
s
privacy?
Oh,
I’
ve
never
applied
that
concept to your
father
’
s sex life. And you
know it. Are you done? I have not even begun
ripping
into Edie Britt yet. Oh, that
peroxide vulture. Just know as sure as I am
standing here that went
after
your dad just to tick me off.
Wrong again. What? He asked her out.
You lie. It
’
s true. He
called her for a date six months ago.
The day after my birthday party. The one at the
piano bar?
What is it? Your father just
came over that day and told me some stuff. You
know some stuff that I
haven
’
t and
can
’
t tell you. Wait.
Whatever happened to
“
we
share everything
”
?
Isn
’
t that our thing,
what we
’
re known
for? Actually, I think what
we
’
re known for is sharing
clothes. I think that
’
s our
thing.
Why does he keep doing that? He knows
it
’
s annoying.
He
’
s just trying to get to
us. Yeah,
well,
it
’
s working. Knock it off,
down here, du you hear what
I’
m saying? Sit down! You
know we
don
’
t
talk to him. That
’
s part of
his punishment. How can you just sit there hour
after hour and
listen that? Well,
that
’
s part of mine.
Carlos, what is this big
emergency? I had to cancel my hair appointment
with E today. What
is it?
I’
m completely freaked out.
Why? There
’
s this guy, his
name is R and he
’
s been
saying some
stuff to me, and
I’
m getting worried. You and
your macho pride. Just tell him
you
’
re flattered, but
you don
’
t swing
that way. He
’
s not hitting
on me, you idiot, he
’
s
threatening me. Really? How? He
said
he
’
s gonna beat me up unless
I come up with some money. Well, how much money?
$$7,000.
Keep your voice down! Why would
he think you have that kind of money? Because
yesterday, in
a visiting room filled
with criminals, my wife referred to me as a rich
man. That
’
s why I needed
you to bring the checkbook.
He
’
s actually willing to
take a check? You
’
re gonna
take the money to
his girlfriend and if
she doesn
’
t get it by
tomorrow,
I’
m screwed. I
think this is a mistake. If we
give in
to extortion, the guy
’
s just
gonna keep coming back for more money.
What choice do I
have?
You
’
re a strong guy. You
went to college on an athletic scholarship, for
god sakes. Yeah, it
was for golf.
You have all my pants.
Yeah, I know. Come on in. I thought when I took my
stuff back to my
house I go everything.
Oh, it
’
s fine.
They
’
re in the garage. So
how have you been doing?
I’
m
good.
I got a question for you. Sure,
what is it? Where are we now? Where are we?
We
’
re not moving in
together and
we
’
re not broken up, so
where are we? I
don
’
t know. Since
the guy
who held me
hostage
turned out to be your son, I think logic dictates
that I should move on. The problem is
I’
m
crazy about
you. So
I’
m thinking we
should keep it casual. What the hell does that
mean, exactly,
casual? I
don
’
t think
there
’
s anything wrong with
us seeing a movie once in a while. A movie. Is
that it? Jogging?
There
’
s no law against
jogging. Anything else? Shopping.
That
’
s casual.
That
’
s
fun.
Anything
else
we
can
do?
Anything
at
all?
Mmm,
brunch.
Brunch
would
be
nice.
Sounds
good to me.
All
I
can
do
is
take
it
one day
at
a
time.
Thanks
so
much
for
calling. Who
was
that?
Oh,
someone named AH. My electrician? Why
were you on the phone sobbing to my electrician?
He
called to offer you his condolences.
Then why didn
’
t you put me
on? We got to talking, and then
he
had
to
go.
He
had
some
very
beautiful
things
to
say
about
Rex.
Don
’
t
you
worry
about
dehydration? Are you saying that I am
too emotional?
I’
m saying
that even Italians take a break
now and
again. My son is dead,
I’
m
grieving. So am I, but no one would ever know it
with your
incessant caterwauling.
People want to know what
I’
m
doing, but the minute they ask, you jump
into
the
spotlight
and
they
forget
all
about
me.
I
need
consoling
too,
Phyllis.
Have
you
ever
thought of that?
I’
m sorry. It
won
’
t happen again. Of
course, if you didn
’
t
constantly suppress your
emotions,
people wouldn
’
t forget to
console you. Excuse me? Well,
it
’
s true.
You
’
re stoic to the
point of being cold. I am not cold; I
just don
’
t like public
displays of emotion. Well,
that
’
s fine.
But
people wonder why they
haven
’
t seen you cry. I
mean, some people actually wonder if you
truly mourn Rex. People have said that?
A few, yes.
Excuse me,
I’
m looking for R. Hi, are
you Rita? Yeah, who are you?
I’
m Gabrielle Solis. Our
husbands
are
roommates
at
the
prison.
R
and
I
aren
’
t
married.
I
see,
your
boyfriend
asked
my
husband
to give this to you. It
’
s a
sort of favor. It
’
s all
there. $$7,000. Son of a bitch!
Don
’
t even
think
about it. Is there a problem? Let me ask you a
problem? This might seem kind of weird, but
what do you think of my breasts? Excuse
me? I mean, how do they look to you?
They
’
re nice.
Thank you. I like them, too.
You
’
re right. That was
weird. You have no idea what this money is for,
do you? You seem to have everything you
need. R wants me to get a boob job. He wants them
bigger. He
’
s
obsessed with huge breasts. So are you gonna do
it? I told them if he came up with
the
cash, I would. I just never thought the mourn
would actually come up with it. Now that
it
’
s any
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