-
Do you think they have yesterday's Daily
News?
Why?
I just wanna
check my horoscope, see if it was right.
Oh,my God! Don't look now. Behind you
there's a guy...
...who can break our
hearts and plunge us into depression.
Where?
Come to mama.
He's coming. Be cool. Be cool. Be cool.
- Nice hat. - Thanks.
We
should do something. Whistle.
I'm not
whistling.
- Come on, do it! - No.
Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.
I can't believe you did that.
Why did I whoo- hoo?
Was I
hoping he'd turn around and say...
...
I wish there was
something we could do.
Hello.
Hello, coma guy.
Get up, you
Girl Scout! Up,up,up!
Phoebe, what are
you doing?
Maybe nobody's tried this.
I wish we at least knew his name.
Look at that face.
I mean,
even sleeping, he looks smart.
I doubt
he is a lawyer.
Yeah, but did you see
the dents in his knuckless?
That means
he's artistic.
Okay. He's a Lawyer who
teaches sculpting on the side.
And he
can dance.
And he's the kind of guy
who, when you're talking, he's listening...
... not saying,
... but
really wondering what you look like naked.
I wish all guys could be like him.
I know.
Are there no
conscious men in the city for you two?
He doesn't have anyone.
Yeah, we-we feel kinda of responsible.
I can't believe you said
I
don't even say
Oh, she's coming up.
She's coming up!
Folks, when we come
back
we'll be talking about her new
book, 'Euphoria Unbound':
the always
interesting Nora Tyler Bing.
You might
wanna put the kids to bed for this one
Y'know, we don't have to watch this.
Weekend At Bernie's is on
Showtime, HBO, and Cinemax.
No way, forget it.
C'mon,
she's your mom!
Exactly. Weekend at
Bernie 's
Dead guy getting hit in the
groin 20, 30 times.
Chandler, I gotta
tell you,
I love your mom's books! I
love her books!
I can't get on a plane
without one.
I mean, this is so cool.
Yeah, well, you wouldn't think it was
cool
if you're eleven years old
and all your friends are
passing around page 79 of
C'mon, Chandler, I love your mom.
I think she's a blast.
You
can say that because she's not your mom.
Oh, please. She's the
- Hi,
sweetie. - Bona sera
When did
- Last night. - Really?
So,
his plane didn't explode in a big ball of fire?
Just a dream I had.
But,
phew!
Hey hey hey! She's on.
Nora Bing.
Back to the book.
What is this about you being arrested
in London?
What is that all about?
Your mom was arrested?
I'm
busy beaming with pride.
This is kind
of embarrassing...
...but
occasionally,after I've been intimate with a
man...
Why would she say that's
embarrassing?
...I just get this
craving for kung pao chicken.
That's
too much information.
Alright, so now
you're doing this whole book tour thing,
how is that going?
Oh, fine.
I'm leaving for
New York tomorrow,
which I hate.
But I get to see my son,
who I love.
This is the way that I find
out.
Most moms use the phone.
Y'know, don't take this wrong,
I just don't see you as a mom somehow..
I don't mean that, I don't mean that
bad.
Oh, no. I'm a fabulous mom.
I bought my son his first condoms.
And then he burst into flames.
Let's see. Congress is debating a new
deficit- reduction bill.
The mayor
wants to raise subway fares again.
The
high today was 45.
And- oh, teams
played sports.
What about GIen?
He could be a GIen.
Nah...
not-not special enough.
How about
Agamemnon?
Way too special.
I'm famished. What do I want?
PIease, God, don't let it be kung pao
chicken.
You watched the show. What did
you think?
I think you need to come out
of your shell.
What is this dive?
Only you could've picked this place.
Come on. Shut up. It's fun.
Give me a hug.
Well, I think
we're ready for some tequila.
I know I
am.
Who's doing shots?
- Hit
me. - I'm in.
There you go. Ross?
I'm not really a shot-drinking kind of
guy.
Hi! Sorry- sorry we're late,
we, uh, kind of just, you know, lost
track of time.
But a man can change.
Anyone want me to appraise anything?
Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you,
I've read everything you've ever
written.
No, I mean it!
I
mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight,
all I wanted to do was become a writer.
Oh, please, honey, listen, if I can do
it, anybody can.
You just start with
half a dozen European cities...
...throw in thirty euphemisms for male
genitalia,
...and bam! You have got
yourself a book.
My mother, ladies and
gentlemen.
Yeah, any messages for room
226?
- You okay,slugger? - Oh,yeah. I'm
fine.
What is with you tonight?
Nothing. Nothing, nothing.
Okay,thank you.
It's the
Italian hand-licker, isn't it?
No. It's
the one he's licking.
She's supposed to
be with you.
You're good.
Oh, Ross, listen to me.
I
have sold 100 million copies of my books,
and you know why?
The girl
on the cover with her nipples showing?
No, because I know how to write men
that women fall in love with.
Believe me, I cannot sell a Paolo.
People will not turn 325 pages for a
Paolo.
Come on. The guy's a secondary
character.
y'know, complication you
eventually kill off.
When?
He's not a hero.
You know
who our hero is?
The guy on the cover
with his nipples showing?
No, it's you.
- Please. - No ,really.
Come on. You' re smart. You' re sexy.
- Right. - Yes, you are.
You
are gonna be fine, believe me.
I'll
just pee in the street.
Is Chandler
here?
- Yeah. - Come here.
Okay, uh, about last night,
um, Chandler.. you didn't tell...
Okay, 'cause I'm thinking- we don't
need to tell Chandler,
I mean, it was
just a kiss, right?
One kiss? No big
deal? Right?
- Right. No big deal. -
Okay.
In bizarro world.
You
broke the code.
- What code? - You
don't kiss your friend's mom.
Sisters
are okay. Maybe a hot- looking aunt.
But not a mom. Never a mom.
What are you guys doing out here?
uh.. Well, Joey and I had discussed
getting in an early morning racquetball
game.
But, um, apparently, somebody
overslept.
Yeah, well, you don't have
your racket.
No. No, I don't, because
it's being restrung.
Somebody was
supposed to bring me one.
Yeah, well
you didn't call and leave your grip size.
Okay, you guys spend waaaay too much
time together.
Okay, I'm scum, I'm
scum.
Ross, how could you let this
happen?
I don't know, God, I...
well, it's not like she's a regular
mom, y'know?
She's, she's 's....
You don't think my mom's sexy?
Well, not in the same way.
I'll have you know that Gloria
Tribbiani
was a handsome woman in her
day, alright?
You think it's easy
giving birth to seven children?
Okay, I
think we're getting into a weird area here.
What're you guys doing out here?
Well, not playing raquetball.
He forgot to leave his grip size.
He didn't get the goggles.
Well, sounds like you two have issues.
- Goodbye, baby. - Ciao, bela.
Do they wait for me to do this?
- So are you gonna tell him? - Why
would I tell him?
How about 'cause if
you don't, his mother might.
What are
you guys doing here?
Uhhhh.... he's not
even wearing a jockstrap.
What did I
ask?
What are you doing here?