牛津上海版优质中考冲刺基础讲义8--教师版

Use the following points as a guide. (

短文必须包含以下要点

)

?

What

’

s your view on happiness?

?

Do you agree with the saying,

“Money

is happiness.

”?

( give two reasons )

?

How do our students find happiness in our study and life

？

中文提纲：

1.

Beginning

开心对我们来说很重要

2. Main body

说明观点：认同金钱就等于开心吗？

发现开心方法

原因

开心不能用钱买

即使穷人也有开心

取得成就

父母，朋友关爱

帮助别人

3.

Ending

我们要保持开心

英文提纲：

1.

Beginning

：

it is widely accepted that...plays an important part in

our life

2.

Main body

：

Main reasons

Happiness can't be bought with money.

A poor person who gets lots of love is always happy

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Solutions

3.

Ending: Believe it

or not, if you try to find happiness, happiness will be always around you.

批注：让学生先用 中文说下大致思路，然后列在纸上。再把中文翻译成英语，翻译时用尽一切

好词好句。然 后就能成形为一篇英语提纲。最后把英语提纲进行拼接，一篇好文章就出

炉啦。

整理后范文：

It

is widely accepted

that happiness

plays an important part in

our daily life. It's everywhere if

you try to find the beauty around you. There is a saying

but I don't think so.

First

,

happiness can't be bought with money.

Secondly,

a poor person

who gets

lots of love

is always happy. Although I don't have much money, I still have a happy life because I

have parents

who always take care of me,

friends

who always help me

and teachers

who always

encourage me. It's

fun to play with friends.

It's

cheerful to make progress and get good marks.

It's

happy to help others. Believe it or not, if you try to find happiness, happiness will be always around

you.

Although I don't have much money, I still have a happy life because I

Help others

have parents who always take care of me, friends who always help

W

hat

’

s more

…

. It's cheerful to make progress and get good marks.

me and teachers who always encourage me.

例

2

：

Suppose your class is running for new monitor, you take part in this campaign and want to

succeed. Please write an article to let more students support you. Write a passage of at least 60 words

(

假设你们班竞选班长，你 参加了本次竞选并且希望成功，现在请写一封竞选信，让更多的学

生支持你，不少于

60

个词，标点符号不占格。

)

（

注意：短文中不得出现考生的姓名 、校名及其他相关信息，否则不予评分。）

Use the following points as a guide. (

短文必须包含以下要点

)

?

Why can you be qualified as monitor?

?

What can you do for the class? (give at least two examples)

批注：此部分只需要列提纲，让学生通过 练习更加清楚提纲是怎样练成的

Warm-hearted, optimistic

Be ready to help others/be only too pleased to help others

为班级能做什

Study group/ catch up with others/

Organize colorful and varied after-activities /enrich our

school life/

Help to relax/

meet students’ needs

3

Ending:

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Hope that you can vote for me, and I’m sure to live up to your expectations.

四、写作具体思路方法

1

．话题整合：

旅游（个人兴趣类）

my hobby/a trip with my family/my plan/My weekend

学习类（最好的学习方法）

study brings me happiness/The most boring subject

科技环保类（水资源保护）

computer have changed my life/water resource

个人经历类（考试 失败

/

最难忘的事情

/

毕业感言

/

我和她）

frie nds /the first time I failed

感恩，抒情类（未来２ 个月打算

/

毕业话语）

My dream

2.

合理正确使用模版：

一个模板原创者使用超高分；

一个模板十几个人使用高分；

一个模板几百个人使用平庸；

批注： 阅卷教师不会因为使用模版直接扣分，但是如果模版句子很流畅，非模版句子很差，老

师 就可以以句子逻辑链接问题扣分

3.

关注高分范文的共性

:

用词多样性：

An increasing number of students…

避免单一句型：

Ｉ

am Tony. I am a boy. I

am sixteen…

连接词，逻辑清晰：

For instance, therefore,

besides…

亮点句型：

never fail to< /p>

，

there

’

s no doubt that

…

4.

一定要真正学会使用语法，避免输出时出错

:

There are many things I hate to do, such as:

reading

boring books

go

to bed early and so on. I

hate to read boring books

because

I think

it spend me much time, so

I don’t like to read them. I hate

to go to bed early because I want to watch more TV, I

want play

more computer games.

5.

语料库的事先储备

:

? Travelling can broaden my horizon, cultivate my interest,

can enrich my life.

?I would like to extend my deepest appreciation towards those who ……

?In order to improve my English, I read English newspapers, watch CCTV English channel and listen

to some English songs. Some steps should be taken ….

五、学法提炼

（一）写作步骤：

1.

审题目：要认真审题，看到考题后，先不要急于动笔，要仔细看清题目要求的内容。

< br>

在自己的头脑中构思出一个框架或画面，确定短文的中心思想，不要匆匆下笔， 看

懂题意，根据提供的资料和信息来审题。审题要审格式、体裁、人物关系、故事情

节、主体时态、活动时间、地点等。

2.

圈要点：防止遗漏要点。要点是给分的一个重要因素。为了防止写作过程中遗漏要点，同 学

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们要充分发挥自己的观察力，把情景中给出的各个要点逐条列出。

3.

列提纲：为写作做好准备。根据文章要点短文的中心思 想将主要句型、关键词语记下，形成提纲。

4.

定基调：定出时态、人称、顺序、开头、结尾。

5.

写全文

（二）知识收获

1

．清楚知道作文评分要求和规则。

2.

学会在作文完成后进行“五查”：查主题，查语法，查 标点，查表达，查拼写。

（三）

方法总结

1.

掌握写作基本步骤：审题目，圈要点，写全文，定基调，列提纲，写全文。

2.

了解写作的难点，避免失分。

要合理正确使用模版，用词多样性，避免单一句型，连接词，逻辑清晰，有亮点句型。< /p>

（四）技巧提炼

1.

学会利用列出提纲来帮助优化作文。首先，列出中文提纲 ，然后通过用词用句进行翻译，使

其成为一片英文提纲，再通过加入连词，首尾句组合成 一篇中考作文。

2.

在完成一篇文章后，需要进行检查，避免语法错误。

作文练习

Writing

Directions:

Write an English composition in 120-150 words according to the instructions given below

in Chinese.

请根据下面的图表，结合你个人的经历，谈谈你的看法。

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张雪：

Here is a vivid but thought-provoking chart showing a widespread scene in our everyday life that

people tend to way too value a stuff before or after they have it while in a sharp contrast they pay

much less attention to it when they have it.

Ridiculous and ironic as it seems, it is often the case, which reminds me of my personal experience.

Once I wanted a guitar so much that I even begged my mom monthly to buy one for me. I made a

promise to her that I would behave myself for the whole semester as long as she agreed. After then I

tried my utmost to get straight A’s and my mom eventually bought me a guitar. It goes without saying

that I become so mad at it that I couldn’t stand putting it down. But two weeks later, I w

as kind of

addicted to the badminton and hardly put my fingers on it. It soon got dirt on it. It was not until my

younger sister accidentally broke it down that I realized that it represented my music dream and it

mattered a lot to me. And it was also too late.

But such stories was never unique. As a famous saying goes: “ I leave uncultivated today, was

precisely yesterday perishes tomorrow which person of the body implored.” We should always bear in

mind that the present moment is the one thing that matters.

评分：

10+10+5=25

点评： 词汇和内容上都无可挑剔，语法上也没有错误，围绕主题展开的经历叙述上也很流畅自

然 ，因此满分。

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陶静雯：

What can be mirrored from the image is a common phenomenon in our life that only by losing can

people know the value of something while when they possess it, they deprecate the worth. It is a

common issue existing in human nature, and I am no exception.

Losing and gaining seem to be the everlasting event that is unavoidable and irresistible. Though still

remembering the day that spent dressing up the dolls, playing hide and seek and establishing the house

by paper and glue, I am always struggling to gr

ow up but forgetting the passing time won’t come back.

However much I desire to return to those golden days free of worry and concern, gone are them.

Therefore, the old would say cherish the childhood or the time you live in because it is the best time

you have but not until now did I realize why, because in no case did the treasured time return again,

neither did the friends.

Hence, it is merciless that people learn about that truth that only losing can know the value, while it is

also merciful that we can comprehend this truth and pass it to the next generation. Whatever ups and

downs or turns and twists, let’s embrace the moment and cherish everything we obtain because maybe

next moment we will lose it and know the worth of it.

评分：

7+8+4=19

分

点评：

首先，内容方面，围绕主题展开，结合自己的亲身经历讲述 得到与失去的不同感受。

其次，语言方面运用的词汇和句型非常出彩。

最后，在文章结构方面，符合总分总结构。

王胜男：

As is evidently demonstrated in the histogram, the value of something is so high when you have

is, which is the same consequence after you lose it,while, to our surprise, when you have it, the

emphasis it plays is at a great discount. Despite the abstract bar graph, it is not difficult to understand.

Taking my experience as an example,I had been dreaming of being admitted into an ideal

university when I was still a senior high school student, so that I took pains to study hard, expecting to

achieve the target one day in the near future. I often imagined what kind of life I will live on the

campus more than once. But hardly had I was informed that my dream come true when I felt relived

and got rid of hout three years of diligence,neglecting food and sleep,I assumed that it

was time to amuse myself as reward. Instead of attending class on time,I became a customary lazy pig

who buried in bed sleeping, reading novels or playing computer games to kill time. After being absent

from courses for nearly a term, I failed in the final exam in the way that was expected. What’s worse, I

was likely to be expelled from school due to my improper behavior. I couldn’t help inqui

ring

myself :Wasn’t it the ideal school you longed for? Why didn’t you treasure your achievement? What

were you thinking about? It was the big mistake that made me find myself back.

There is no doubt that almost everyone may face the same situation that what we chase with

efforts will appear not so significant the moment we acquire it. Only a few people are likely to cherish

the hard-earned accomplishment, whether friendship or marriage. No matter what circumstance you

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may confront, just bear in mind that keeping to your original intention leads you to the final success.

评分：

9+8+4=21

评语：文章 内容充实，语言优美，句式多变，情感丰富。作者从自身出发，描述了自己的心路

历程， 真实生动。语言上使用了各类从句，非谓语动词，倒装句，很值得学生模仿。

李香香

It is universally acknowledged that before and after we have something, the happiness of having

something is much greater than when we have it. In Chinese, we have an poem described this

phenomenon: we tend to feel it common at that time. The so-called that time is the time when we own

the things we want, and at that time, we tend not to place great value on them.

Such things happen in our daily life. I still can remember that I dreamed of owning a beautiful big

bear when I was a little girl. So desperate was I that I couldn’t help watching it through the showcase

every time I passed by the store. Finally, I owned it as my birthday gift from mom. I was so happy and

kept it as my company every night. but gradually, it was valued as something common as my pillow

and I began to become unsatisfied with it because of its taking up my bed. At last, my little cousin

showed his interest to it and take it away with mom’s permission. When I came back, I realized that I

had lost my bear forever and I began to recall the happiness when I first owned it, a sudden depression

drowned me.

The unavailable fruits seem to be the most delicious, the anxiety of owing it drives us to struggle

for it, but when we get it, the happiness are discounted, and not until we lost it did we begin to cherish

it. It is the normality of life and most unhappiness are caused by it, do not forget the original aspiration

and cherish all the thing and people around us from now on. Life should be left no regret.

评分：

9+9+4=22

点评：内容 上，主次鲜明，非常的完整流畅，个人案例描述的生动具体，语言上，高级词汇

的灵活运 用，多样句式的自由变换，给文章增色不少，少许的语法错误还需要注意，非常值得

学习 模仿的范文。

汤康新：

According to the graph, the value of something, whether before you have it or after you lose it, is

higher than that of when you have it, which reveals a common phenomenon that most of us don’t

cherish what we have got but eagerly want to possess what we don’t have.

Take myself for example, every time I saw others wear some beautiful clothes and shoes, I was

anxious to buy the same one and thought their clothes quiet charming and fascinating. But after I

bought them at high prices and dressed myself, I felt them not as beautiful as what I expected before.

Besides, there is another case I want to share. When I was a middle school student, I had a good friend

and we were always together. Maybe we didn’t know the true meaning of friendship for that age. Later

we broke down due to some unhappy things. But now the friendship between her and me is one of the

most memorable things in my mind and I always miss her when I am depressed or lonely.

In short, appreciate what you have: the people, the opportunities, the materials possessions. Be

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