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小学英语简短笑话大全
篇一：
看笑话学英语笑话大全爆笑翻译
day
a
visitor
from
the
city
came
to
a
small
rural
area
to
drive
around
the
country
roads,
see
how
the
farms
looked,
and perhaps to
see how farmers
earned their living.
The
city man
saw a farmer in his yard,
holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it
so that the pig could eat apples from
an apple tree. The city man said
to the
farmer, I see that your pig likes apples, but isn
t that quite a
waste of time? The
farmer replied, What s time to a pig?
一天，有一个
城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，
在乡间路上开着车
，
想看看农庄是什么样子，
也
想看看农
夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地
上
，手中
抱着一头猪，
并把它举得高高的，
好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。
城里人对农夫说，
我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，
但是，
这不是很浪费
时间吗
?
那位农夫
回答说，
时
间对猪有什么意义
?
Looney Bin Late one night at the insane asylum
(
疯人院）
one
inmate
shouted,
I
am
Napole
on!”Another
one
sa
id,
How
do
you
know? The first inmate said, God told
me! Just then, a voice from
another
room shouted, I did not!
疯人院
一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个
病
人说：“我是拿破仑！”另一个说：“你怎么知道？”第一个人说：“上帝对我
说的！
”一会儿，
一个声音从另一个房间传来
：
“我没说！
”Notes:
（
1
）
Looney
(
俚语）
疯子
（
2
）
inm
ate
（
n.
同住者
,
同室者
(
特指在医院、<
/p>
监狱
)
）
（
3
）
insan
e
asylum
(
疯人院）
and
Running
Dan
is
teaching
his
son
how
to
box.
As
he
does
so,
he
left
his
friend,
This
is
a
tough
world,
so
I
’
m
teaching
my boy to fight.
Friend: But suppose he comes up against someone
much
bigger
than
he
is,
who
’
s
also
been
taught
how
to
box. Dan:
I
’
m
teaching
him how to run,
too.
拳击和赛跑
丹在教他的
儿子怎样拳击。他告诉他的朋
友：“这是一个粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的儿子怎么去拼
搏。” 朋友：“如
果他碰上的对手是一个比他高大，健壮而且也会拳击的人怎么办？”
丹：“我
也会教他怎么样赛跑呢。” NOTE come up against
遇到一个对手
against
表
示相对的相反的
warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his
inmates because every weekend on
Visitor
’
s Day, most of the
prisoners
had
family members and friends coming, but poor George
always sat alone
in
his
cell.
So
one
Visitor
’
s
Day,
the
warden
called
George
to
his
office
and
said, I notice you
’
ve never
had any visitors, George. Sympathetic,
he
put
his
hand
on
George
’
s
shoulder.
Tell
me,
don
’
t
you
have
any
friends
or
family? George
replied,
Oh,
sure
I
do,
Warden.
It
’
s
just that
they
’
re all in
here!
典狱长对狱中一位囚犯深感同情，因为每逢周末的探访日，
大多数囚犯都有家人或朋友来访，
但是可怜的乔治总是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚
室
中。
因此在一个探访日，典狱长把
乔治叫到办公室说：“乔治，我注意到从来
没有人来探望过你。
”他满怀同情地把手放在乔治的肩膀上：
“告诉我，
你没有
任何朋友或家人吗？”
乔治回答：“喔！当然有，典狱长，只不过他们全都在
这里面！”
man:
Why
didn
t
you
shout
for
help
when
you
were
robbed
of your watch? Man:
If I had opened my mouth, they d have found my
four
gold teeth. That would be much
worse.
警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么
不呼救呢？
男子：
要是我张口的话，
他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。
那就更糟了。
6.A
shoplifter
（商店扒手）
|was
caught
red-
handed
trying
to
steal
a
watch
from
a
jewelry
store.
Listen,
said
the
shoplifter,
I
know
you
don
t want any trouble either. What do you
say I just buy the watch, and we
forget
about this? The manager agreed and wrote up the
sales slip. The
crook
（骗子，坏蛋）
looked at the slip and said, This is a little more
than I intended to spend.
一
个小偷在一家珠宝店企图偷走一只手表的时候
被当场擒获。
“听
着，
”小偷说，
“我知道你们也不想惹麻烦。
< br>我把这只表买下，
然后我们就当什么也没发生，你看怎样？” 经理表示同意，然
后列了一张售货
单。
小偷看着单子说道：
“这比我最初的预算稍稍高了一点，
你们还有没有便宜
一点儿
东西。
suspicious-looking
man
drove
up
to
the
border,
where
he was greeted by
asentry
（哨兵）
. When the guard
looked in the trunk,
he was surprised
to find six sacks bulging at the
seams
（缝合线）
.
[
来
自我要看笑话
] What s
in here? he asked. Dirt, the driver
replied. Take them out, the guard
instructed. I want to check them.
Obliging, the man removed the bags, and
sure enough, each one of them
contained
nothing
but
dirt.
Reluctantly,
the
guard
let
him
go.
A
week
later
the man came back,
and once
again,
the sentry looked
in the
truck. What
s in the bags this time?
he asked. Dirt, more dirt. said the man. Not
believing him, the guard checked the
sacks and, once again, he found
nothing
but soil. The
same thing happened every
week for six
months, and
it finally became so frustrating to the
guard that he quit and became a
bartender
（酒保）
.
篇二：
小学英语笑话
小学英语笑话
1)TOM
S
EXCUSE
Teacher:
Tom,
why
are
you
late
for
school
every
day?
Tom:
Every
time
I
come
to
the
corner, a sign says,
School-Go Slow . DID YOUR DAD... 2)Tom call Jim s
name:
I
can
t
bear
such
a
foolish! and
Jim
say:
You
mother
could
(bear)!
附
:bear
有两重意思
:
生
和
忍受
这个笑话正是根据这点
. 4)A man goes to
church
and
starts
talking
to
God.
He
says:
God,
what
is
a
million
dollars
to you? and God
says:
A penny
,
then
the man
says: God, what
is a million
years to you?
and
God says: a
second
, then
the man says: God,
can I have
a
penny?
and
God
says
In
a
second
5)Mother
sent
Tommy
to
the
store
across
the
street
to
buy
a
good
box
of
Tommy
came
back,mother
asked
him,”Did
you
buy
a
good
box
of
matches?”
“Yes,Mum.”Tommy
replied,”I
have
tr
ied
them
all.”
—
1
—
6)Father:Uh,oh,I
think
I
just
made
an
illegal
right-hand turn. Susie:That is okay
,dad,the policeman behind you just
did
the
same
thing!
7)Little
Robert
asked
his
mother
for
tow
cents.”What
did you do with
the money I gave you yest
erday?” “I
gave it to a poor
old
woman,”he
answered.
“You
’
er
a
good
boy,”said
the
mother
proudly.”Here are tow cents
why
are you so interested in the
old
woman?”
“She
is
the
one
who
sells
the
candy.”
8)Ivan
came
home
with
a
bloody
nose
and
his
mother
asked,”What
happened?”
“A
kid
bit
me,”replied
Ivan.
“Would
you
recognize
him
if
you
sew
him
again?”asked
his
mot
her. “I’d
know
him any
where,”said Ivan.”I
have his ear in my
pocket.”
9)Teach
er: Here are two birds, one is a
swallow, the other is
sparrow. Now who
can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot
point out
but
I
know
the
answer.
Teacher:
Please
tell
us.
—
2
—
Student:
The
swallow
is
beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the
swallow.
两只鸟
老
师：
这儿
有两只鸟，
一只是麻雀。
谁能指出哪只是燕子，
哪只是麻雀吗？
学生：
我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的
就是麻雀，麻
雀旁边的就是燕子。
富婆牵狗散步，路遇乞丐。
富婆傲慢
的对乞丐说：“你管
我的狗叫声爸，我就给你一百元！”
乞丐说：“我要是叫十声呢？”富婆开心
答道：“那我就给一千！”
乞丐当即冲狗喊了十声爸，引得观者如云。
众目睽
睽下，富婆只得掏钱给乞丐。
乞丐接钱后，连声喊道：“谢谢妈！谢谢妈！
！”
和老婆在的士后排座坐着。
车快到的
时候，我问多少钱，司机说
18
元。
老婆
就翻包掏钱，
我兜里正好有零钱，
就掏出一张
20
元给司机。
顺口对一旁的老婆
说：“别找了！”
老婆还没反应，只听司机说了声：“谢谢啊！” 对面的小美
女饭量真小，
吃面真浪费，
扒拉两口就走人。
< br>—
3
—于是我正义的把那碗面倒给
路边看起来很饿的野猫。
一会，美女回来，手里拿着一瓶水
，一脸狐疑的看着
那个空碗！
小明呢，明天就要，但晚上却在看电视
小明妈妈就担心地问：书都
看完了吗？明天要考试啊
小明就爽快地回答：
妈，
我看完了。
小明妈妈就很开
心的赞扬小明：乖，那明天你
一定考得很好呢
小明哭着说：妈，我是说，
< br>?
妈，
我看，完了
?
。
你姓啥？
我姓魏
魏什么啊？
不为什么，我爸姓魏我就姓魏
5
岁的
女儿让老爸帮她做某事。老爸：“爸爸很累啦，你夸我两句吧，你夸我两句
我就又有劲了
。” 女儿：“老郑！”老爸：“哎！”
女儿：“你家妞妞长得可
真漂亮啊
一
个男人非常的怕老婆。一天
,
他老婆又当着客人的面和他吵了起
来
,
并打了他一耳光。为了面子
,
男子壮着胆子大吼:“你敢再打我一下?”他老婆毫
不犹豫地又打了
一下。男子看吓不住老婆
,
只得说:“既然你这么听话
,
我就饶你
一次吧。
”
—
4
—篇三
：
英语小笑话大全
英语小笑话大全
1
、
He
Won
Tommy:
How
is
your little brother Johnny Johnny: He is ill in
bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy:
Thats
too
bad.
How
did
that
happen
Johnny:
We
played
who
could
lean
furthest
out
of
the
window
and
he
won.
他赢了
汤姆约翰尼你小弟弟好吗
约
翰尼他害病卧床了。
他受了伤。
汤姆真糟糕怎么回事儿
约翰尼我们做
游戏看谁
能把身子探出窗外最远他赢了。
2
、
I
Have
His
Ear
in
My
Pocket
Ivan
came
home
with
a
bloody
nose
and
his
mother
asked
What
happened
A
kid
bit
me
replied
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