英语美文欣赏(带翻译)

Friends or 'Enemies?'

When I was younger, my Dad used to tell me:

At the time, I didn't agree. I thought: I can crack a good joke, I know how to shoot a hoop, and I'm a cheerful person (but not

in an annoying way). What kind of boy wouldn't want to be around that kind of girl?

Turns out, my Dad was right. Not to be all

actively looking for an exclusively platonic relationship with a woman they find sexually attractive. This of course is not a

revolutionary concept. In fact, it seems pretty natural to me.

Now, I will be the first to say that it is really and truly the most wonderful thing in the world if the attraction is mutual. But

the

Powers

That

Be

seem

to

like

to

play

these

complicated

little

mating

games

with

humans

where

the

guy

we

want

to

re-enact

scenes

from

9?

Weeks

with

sees

our

attractiveness

level

as

akin

to

that

of

a

discarded

dishcloth,

and

the

most

physical we could see ourselves being with the guy who actually likes us is a game of ping pong over an especially long table.

All of which means that someone usually ends up getting rejected.

I'm sure I'm not alone when I say I have struggled with the scenario where I am not interested in a man romantically, but I

want to keep him as a friend because he is funny and I enjoy his company, or he has shown himself to be that rare specimen

known as

Rather than string him along and give him hope, I feel compelled to somehow communicate to him sooner rather than later

that

we'll

just

be

staying

friends,

nothing

more.

Otherwise,

I

think

I

am

being

unfair

to

him.

Why

should

he

waste

his

romantic stamina on me when there are loads of other single women out there who might fall instantly in love with him?

The thing is, it can sometimes be tricky to reject a man and keep him as a friend. If the operation is not executed carefully,

you may end up creating a

It requires a certain amount of skill to be able to turn down a man's sexual advances or romantic gestures and then get him to

agree to meet you for blueberry pancakes the following weekend and chat about the latest Woody Allen film. Some men aren't

satisfied with just that. I'm not clear why. What's so bad about friendship? Everyone needs buddies. But I've seen men react

poorly or simply fall off the face of the earth. I get it -- their feelings are hurt. None of us likes getting rejected. But in my

experience, some men find it especially soul-crushing.

I am only bringing all of this up because I recently had to go through this scenario again. I had spent some time cultivating a

friendship with a man who, in my defense, I thought was gay. So I didn't see the harm in him buying me the occasional falafel,

or accepting an invitation to see a film with him. Isn't that what friends are for? But a mutual friend shed light on his sexual

orientation (straight) and suggested that his intentions -- and attentions -- weren't platonic. He had never

but now it was all crystal clear -- that explains the way he had looked at me that time the tahini sauce dribbled down my chin!

Since he had clearly been too timid to express his feelings, I thought I would be clever this time and subtly mention the dates I

had been going on, focusing on the one guy I was kind of keen on, so that he would know that I was

petting

and

those

sorts

of

activities,

but

that

I

was

available

for

things

like

roller

skating,

falafel-eating

and

shooting

the

breeze. Doesn't that sound nice? That way, he would known not to try to lean in for a kiss, and I wouldn't have to pull the

Stevie Wonder dance and dodge him went he went for it. It was like pre-rejection, yet I was sparing his feelings because he

didn't even have to put himself out there! I really thought I was being brilliant.

It backfired, of course. Said man ended up sending me an email rant accusing me of being insensitive by talking about other

men when he had

that? I think in his mind we were dating. In my mind, he was my new gay BFF. In the end, I got mad at him for getting mad at

me, and now the friendship has ended.

And I have created yet another

Look, I have also tried the direct thing:

made his intentions clear, and in my experience, they either cope okay (though rarely do I feel much enthusiasm for friendship

after that), or they really don't cope well. I also tried the thing where you make them think they are rejecting you, but it gets

quite confusing and only works if the guy isn't very sharp, and why would I -- or you -- be hanging out with someone not that

sharp in the first place?

As we all remember, Billy Crystal's character says men and women can't be friends in When Harry Met Sally because the sex

stuff

gets

in

the

way.

I

do

have

single,

male,

heterosexual

friends

with

whom

I

have

an

easy,

non-romantic

rapport,

but

I

honestly don't know if they would walk away if I was sprawled naked on a bed calling out to them. I may not be everybody's

cup

of

tea,

but

sometimes,

I

wonder

if

they

wonder.

And

they

may

wonder

if

I

wonder.

If

so,

I

hope

they'll

keep

it

to

1

themselves.

被拒后：朋友亦或敌人？

那时我并不以为然，认为凭自己的幽默诙谐，灌篮娴熟，开朗活泼的性格，又有那一个男孩不 喜欢在这样的女孩

身边呢？

但结果证明父亲是对的。对此不需要太自恋（

Samantha

Brick

，自由专栏女作家曾写过为什么女人恨我等文章，< /p>

有英版芙蓉姐姐之称）

，但以我的经验来说，单身异性恋男士在他 们认为极具吸引力的女性身上并不想只是寻求一份

简单的柏拉图式的关系。当然这一概念 并没有什么开创性，事实上在我看来再自然不过了。

首先我要说的是两情相悦的确是世界上最为美妙事。

但上帝却好似很 喜欢玩这种复杂的配对游戏，

要么是通过九

个半周的交往后，< /p>

我们想与之确定关系的男孩认为我们的吸引力指数同丢弃的抹布不相上下，

要么就是我们对中意我

们的男孩不起化学反应，两人总是像隔着一长长的桌台打 乒乓球一般。结果都是以另一方被拒而告终。

有些异性我虽然不想和他交往，但很想和他做朋友，因为他幽默诙谐，有他陪在身边我会很开 心

,

或者他友好善

良并且为人真诚（这 一类人可是稀缺性品种）

，或者是他不是每隔一句便提起他的理疗师。我敢说这种情形你 也经历

过吧。

我认为有必要对他说明白我们之间只会是朋友这种关系这么简单，

仅 此而已。

说这些话宜早不宜晚，

而不是将他

带在身边给他希望。不然对他来说是不公平的。外面那么多单身女性，她们或许会对他一见钟情，为什么要让 他白白

浪费精力放在我身上呢？

但有时在拒绝一位男士后要想和他保持朋友关系，

这种情况颇为棘手 。

如果处理不当，

结果是你可能会结下梁子。

< br>

要想拒绝异性的追求或是一些暧昧 举动，

同时还要让他同意下一周他依然可以和你会面，

边品尝蓝 莓煎饼边谈论

伍迪艾伦执导的电影，这的确需要一定的技巧。有些男士对此不以为意。我 不清楚他们的原因，做朋友难道不好吗？

每个人都有自己的朋友呀。

但是我确实见到有些男性在被拒绝后反应很糟糕，

有的甚至好似在地球蒸发了一样再 也没

见到他的面。我明白

--

他们受伤 了。没有人喜欢被别人拒绝。根据我的经验甚至有些男士认为被拒让人精神崩溃。

提起这些是因为最近我就遇到了这种情况。前段时间我和位异 性发展着朋友关系，我起初一直以为他是同性恋。

所以他时不时给我买三明治，