律政俏佳人 剧本

Legally Blonde 2 script

Look, her first high-end retail shopping experience.

Her nanny tried to take her to Baby Gap...

but she'd just cry and cry.

She was a professional shopper at age three.

Oh, wow!

Remember when she was on the cover of

She had so much potential back then.

Look at her. She could have been a Playmate by now.

Hello! She's a lawyer.

-That's way better. -Why?

There she is!

You always said she has the perfect shaped head...

for a tiara!

Look at that slime dog!

It was so nice of you to make this for Elle's wedding shower.

I can't scrapbook worth a damn.

I took a class on it at community college.

-She got a

The day she passed her LSAT!

I swallowed some of that Silly String.

It wouldn't be the first time.

Look at that. Her first day at Harvard.

Unbelievable. Awesome.

The Bend and Snap!

I love that. I did it last night naked.

-You did not. -Yes. I busted a window.

Oh, my God, there's Bruiser's first highlights.

Is this the key to her first office at the firm?

Remember that Caribbean decor? It was genius.

Look, there she is with Congresswoman Rudd...

when they started the Harvard alumni women's event.

-Yeah. -That's two kick-ass women.

I like them. I really like them.

The first day they met! Emmett loves her already.

You can see it in his eyes.

Emmett and Elle.

They're truly Romeo and Juliet without the dying.

Paulette?

Oh, my God! Girls, I think it's her.

-Quick! Lights out! -OK!

Paulette?

I thought we were supposed to be at the movies by 9:00.

Surprise!

We got her!

Oh, my God! Margot, Serena, I cannot believe...

you guys flew all the way here!

-No biggie. -On the contrary.

It's a huge biggie. Thank you.

You guys are the best.

Speaking of biggies, can we see your ring again?

Not your Delta Nu ring, Elle.

You mean, this one?

Clarity between F.L. and V.V.S. Nice girdle diameter.

Cut impeccable. It's a keeper.

Thanks!

Oh, my gosh, it's from Emmett!

That's me and Emmett on Fenway baseball field.

It's his favorite place in the whole world.

I love snow globes.

I can hear the ocean.

Listen, honey, you're a full-time bride now...

so you'll need a whole new wardrobe.

I'm not quitting my job, you guys.

Do you guys remember that feeling we used to get...

during a really intense Spinning class?

That we feel so truly amazing about ourselves?

That's how I feel being a lawyer. I love it.

I have this huge annual review coming up...

so keep 'em crossed, girls.

Crossed!

Congratulations, you did it.

With three wrong answers, you've managed to undermine...

the entire foundation upon which our legal system's built.

And by the way...

it only took me two wrong answers.

Sweetie, you customized my ring? Again?

Emmett, you are never going to believe my news!

-What? -Fenway Park!

You, me, two rings, and one recently ordained umpire...

right on the entry field!

Infield. What are you talking about?

It turns out the starting pitcher for the Red Sox...

has an unfortunate unibrow problem.

He goes to Nadia, my waxer...

so the team pulled some strings with the site manager...

and we're getting married at Fenway!

Are you serious?

Are you sure this is what you want to do?

I can married anywhere and it wouldn't matter.

That's a lie.

I'm getting married under the Green Monster!

Yes!

And in just three months and four days!

Emmett, we have so much to talk about.

I want everybody who matters to us to be there.

Oh, my God! I almost forgot!

You want me to what?

You want me to what?

A biological birth parent search.

For your dog.

For my Chihuahua-American Bruiser Woods.

I found him abandoned years ago.

Miss, I'm the highest-paid, most sought after...

private investigator in the greater Boston area.

That's precisely why we came to you, Detective.

It is absolutely vital that we find Bruiser's mother pronto.

His father might be more difficult. You know dogs.

May I ask why?

Of course.

recommends a 4 to 6-week window for RSVPs...

and I can't send the invitation without an address.

And the sooner I get started on the calligraphy the better.

You want to send an invitation to your wedding...

to your dog's mother. And you're serious?

Detective, if I have to make room...

for my second cousin's vegan diet coach...

you better believe I'll make room for the mother...

of the one loving creature who's always been there for me.

In fact, I can't believe I haven't done this sooner!

I'm thinking the same thing.

-Elle! -Hi, Mr. Blaine.

-The client is thrilled. -Good!

How you seamlessly negotiated that deal?

-lt was simply magnifique. -Thank you.

Big staff meeting today, kiddo.

All right. I got my fingers crossed.

Milton, two shots, extra foam.

-Wow. Thanks, E.W. -No problem!

-Go get 'em today. -Thanks.

Soy for you, honey. No dairy.

That's right. Thank you. Your call list is endless.

-lt is? -We better get right on it.

Kevin, you shouldn't have!

I'm not sure they're giving me the promotion today.

It's just a widespread yet credible rumor.

It's from me and the girls.

Oh, right!

Now do me.

I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

-Me, too! -You do?

I had no idea I could be this happy...

without accruing credit card debt.

Already?

Well, Miss Woods, even the weird ones get cracked.

-You ready? -Yes!

Bruiser Woods...

meet your mom.

Bruiser...your cheekbones.

And it's all in there.

Good luck finding whatever it is you're looking for.

Oh, my God! She's a Bostonian!

Bruiser, we're here!

As your adoptive mother, I'm sure you're nervous...

about meeting your birth mother...

but hear her out, OK? I'm sure she had her reasons.

Bruiser, your mother lives at...

the top secret Versace think-tank!

I told you they had one!

No, ma'am.

Unless you have a pass, you cannot go up there.

Lucky I always keep it on me.

Hold on. It's right here.

There you go.

What is it?

It's my double platinum V.V.I.P. Versace...

Preferred Customer identification card.

Available only to those that've shopped on five continents.

If that fails to satisfy you, you can also contact...

Billy Dailey, head of customer relations.

You got the wrong VERSACE, lady.

Really? Donatella's not here?

Bruiser, where are you going?

Bruiser!

Ma'am!

Bruiser?

Get back here!

Where are you going?

Bruiser, I didn't know you were so athletic.

What is it?

Oh, my God!

You, come here!

Come on! Open this door immediately!

What are you doing here?

You have my dog's mom, and I need her right now!

Absolutely not. I'm not authorized to release...

any subjects from their containment units.

I'm not even allowed to have a key.

Swallow the thing one time, and all of a sudden...

you're the weird key swallower who can't be trusted.

I don't think you're understanding me.

I'm willing to pay for her.

These animals aren't for sale, ma'am.

They're the legal property of this facility.

What kind of facility is this?

Mr. Livermore, I'm so sorry!

Elle, this VERSACE is a cosmetic testing facility.

-Oh, no! -Bruiser's mom's a test subject.

I want her out of there immediately.

Animal test subjects can only be surrendered...

on a voluntary basis, and they're not volunteering.

After I get through with them, they'll be begging.

And I'm not just taking Bruiser's mom.

I'll bust all those dogs out of that doggie dungeon.

This VERSACE's owned by the C'est Magnifique Corporation!

That's fantastic!

Our law firm represents C'est Magnifique.

We can tell them to fix this.

I can't wait to take this to the partners.

But how are you going to convince them?

Presenting...

Abandoned at birth, I was on my own at an early age...

fighting for survival on the streets of Beverly Hills...

making his way down the boulevard of broken dreams,

turning tricks at Hollywood and Vine...

yet even when I found a loving mother...

I couldn't shake this nagging emptiness in my heart.

It was like a void. When I looked in the mirror...

who was it that was looking back at me?

This is Bruiser's question.

And in a way, aren't we all Bruisers?

I think yes. Thank you.

Ms. Woods, this is a law firm...

not an animal rights advocacy group.

We're lawyers. We have to fight for justice.

And this is definitely unjust.

In this case, the cost of beauty is way too high.

I can't believe I said that, but it's true.

What we fight for...

is our clients and their best interests.

But isn't doing the right thing in everybody's best interest?

I think you're confusing the right thing and the law.

You didn't think they were the same, did you?

Why don't we get back to business...

and discuss your very bright future?

Pardon me, I don't mean to interrupt...

but I just-- What you're saying is...

if C'est Magnifique follows the letter of the law...

even if it ends up hurting living beings...

we're just doing our job?

I'm sorry, Mr. Blaine...

I don't think I can work with people who believe that.

You know what? You're right.

Thank you, Mr. Blaine.

You shouldn't have to work with people who believe that.

Absolutely. I knew you would understand.

You're fired, Elle.

What?

We only have room for serious lawyers here.

Take the rest of the day to clear out your things.

But the secretarial pool already gave me a balloon.

Keep the balloon, if you wish.

Please, Emmett, just go away.

Why don't you come on out, sweetie?

I know Bruiser doesn't blame you.

But I'm all he has to speak for him in this world...

and I have completely failed him.

You know what I thought the first time I saw you?

No. I thought...

So...come on out and let's talk about it.

No.

We could go over some wedding details.

How about that? It revolves.

And it illuminates.

It's even got the Red Sox colors.

That's fantastic, honey!

Speaking of red socks...

you're not getting cold feet, are you?

About what?

How's it going to look? A Harvard law professor...

married to a lawyer who got fired from her first job.

Fired for something she believes in.

It's going to look like...

Thanks.

Holy crap!

It's gorgeous!

The material keeps falling apart.

No!

Amy, is something wrong?

You can't do a scallop trim on the outer hoop skirt.

The material's too delicate. It'll just fall apart.

But in two out of three home tests it held.

I am so sorry, Elle.

No biggie. I guess I don't need...

a scallop trim on the outer hoop skirt.

I'll be fine.

What is it that you said back when I couldn't...

fit into my white spandex pantsuit for my wedding?

If the fabric doesn't work with you...

don't work with it.

It's one of my favorite mantras.

That is so true, and I know the most perfect organza!

Or something really classy like...

Iike white leather!

I'll call the guy that did my car seats.

Wait...that's it.

Don't fight the fabric. Change it.

OK, but white leather?

If the law is what's keeping Bruiser's mother locked up...

I shouldn't be fighting it, I should be changing it.

Everybody, I'm going to make...

animal testing for cosmetics illegal!

I know that making a dog wear mascara and blush is wrong...

This isn't just about Bruiser's mom anymore...

this is about the fact that every day...

that I put on my Gold Goddess luminescent blush...

some poor little innocent animal might be suffering for it.

You don't realize how horrible something is...

until it happens to you personally.

Like breastfeeding.

And if I want to give a voice to Bruiser...

I have to go to the place that gave a voice to the people!

Oh, my God! The headquarters of

Better! Ladies...

I'm going to Washington!

D.C., here I come!

If anybody can handle this, it's you, honey.

I got a call from the Delta Nu 24-hour housing hotline.

Your apartment's all set.

-Great! -Elle!

Oh, my God! You look like the Fourth of July!

Makes me want a hot dog real bad.

Yeah, OK. You got to get going, honey.

OK.

-Elle, look at this. -What's that?

According to

your new boss is the best groomed woman in Washington.

Her beagle's name is Dolly Madison...

which is my grandma's stripper name.

Isn't that a good sign?

Oh, my gosh. A job with a brilliant congresswoman...

who's also a fellow Harvard alum.

You'll do great, Elle. It's destiny.

But isn't planning the wedding of the century...

and changing the law kind of hard?

Paulette, I taught Bruiser how to shop online.

I think I can handle Congress.

See ya.

Home sweet home. You ready?

OK.

Welcome to the Wellington, ma'am.

It's a thrill to be here!

Time to legislate!

No.

Too Nancy.

Too Hillary.

Too Monica.

Too perfect for words!

Hi!

Good morning, fellow public servants.

It's my first day.

Nice briefcase.

Huh? Thank you.

Hi!

Last item on our agenda--Elle Woods.

Personal Rudd hire, taking up a bill...

on animal testing in the cosmetic industry.

I'm sorry, Rudd's backing that?

Matter of conscience, whatever.

Who knows? Maybe it'll boost our female demographic.

The point is we're animal lovers now.

If this is so important to Rudd, shouldn't I be handling it?

No, Timothy, not when we have a woman...

who according to Rudd, is one of the shrewdest...

Iegal and political minds of our time.

Hello, patriots!

I don't think I've been this excited...

since Gucci became a publicly traded company.

Oh, my God, it's Capitol Barbie.

She's so shiny.

So where should I start?

Excuse me, sweetie?

Intern orientation is down the hall in Room 216.

That's before 217 and after 215.

Oh, my God! That is so sweet of you!

You think I'm an intern?

That anti- wrinkle all-salmon diet really works.

Who are you?

-I'm sorry-- -Elle Woods, welcome!

I haven't seen you since the alumni meeting!

-I know! How are you? -Good!

This is Elle Woods, everyone.

Basically me when I first came to D.C...

so make her feel at home.

You ready to hit the ground running?

Are these not my comfortable heels?

-Cute shoes. -Thank you. They are comfy.

Here's Bruiser. Welcome.

Oh, you little sugar!

Back her up, people.

This is the most collaborative bunch on the Hill...

So gather them together...

talk strategy as soon as you get settled in.

-And, Elle? -Yes?

-Welcome to Washington. -Thank you!

Okey-dokey.

I missed the part about where my office is.

The desk. Right here.

All righty. Then I'm going to need a glue gun...

some pinking shears, and five yards of grosgrain ribbon.

Yeah, that'll do it.

Well, look at you.

You can run your wedding coordinator business...

during all that legislative downtime.

Don't be silly, Grace.

This is to plan my own wedding to Emmett.

See, this is us. He had this made for me.

That's him, and that's me smiling.

Maybe he'll make one of you and me.

You'll be talking and I'll be throwing up.

Speaking of nuptials, wait till I tell...

the congresswoman that I was invited...

to John McCain's nephew's wedding.

He's really quite a sweet kid.

Tell me something, Timothy...

is it difficult for you to breathe with...

your mouth flat against your employer's butt?

I don't know, Grace. Is it difficult to see...

with your head in the Minority Whip's lap?

It was the distinguished gentlemen from lowa.

His wife had recently left him and we just talked.

Right. Because if you did

you should've gotten some legislation out of it.

How would you even know...

when you're busy chasing interns on a skateboard?

Excuse me? Who wants to talk animal testing?

Write a bill, Britney. I don't have a car!

Snap Cup time

Gather ye round

Friends and foes together

United and bound

Pass it to your neighbor

Instead of blowing up

And we'll find harmony and love

In the Snap Cup!

Don't tell me you don't know what a Snap Cup is?

OK, I'll explain it.

You are going to write down an anonymous praise note...

on a little warm fuzzy.

Warm fuzzy?

Yes. Compliments about your co-workers.

Just something nice.

Then you deposit them in the sacred vessel.

The Snap Cup is essential to any bipartisan environment.

Consider 1998 Spring Carnival.

The Delta Nus partnered with the Kappa Kappa Gammas...

on Project Kissing Booth. Big problems.

Go ahead, write.

So, a whole heated debate transpired...

over the whole tongue-no tongue policy.

I think you know what side the Kappas were on.

Anyway, it really helped us move past the conflict...

and I think it can help us today.

Let's just try this, OK?

Thank you, Reena. Thank you.

Thanks for that.

Thank you, Timothy.

So now, the Snap Cup mistress--me--recites.

Good, I got mine.

And, voil? snaps for Grace!

You see? Our first Snap Cup!

This is so exciting! I wonder what'll happen next?

All right, this is...

A riddle. That's so cool.

I love riddles.

Enough already.

Maybe we can do something actually worthwhile...

Iike attend the hearing of the committee...

you need to crack. I'll take you myself.

Thank you, Grace. That's very generous of you.

See, I think the Snap Cup really works.

Wow.

Good morning.

This is just like on C-SPAN except I'm not bored.

You're in the wrong room, sweetheart.

Intern orientation is in room...

216? Yes, I've heard. Thank you.

Hi, I'm Elle Woods. I'm not an intern.

Rob Cole. Me, neither.

I'm the new legislative aide to Congresswoman Rudd.

I'm an old congressman from Delaware.

I've been to Delaware! No sales tax. Good one, sir.

Committee is called to order.

Welcome to the special meeting of the...

Excuse me. Sorry.

Committee of Energy and Commerce.

Before we turn to our official agenda...

are there any introductory remarks?

Madam chairwoman...

Grace Rossiter, chief of staff...

Representative Rudd, Massachusetts.

As our newest legislative assistant...

will be spearheading a campaign under your committee...

I'm sure she'd love the floor.

Thus I yield to my colleague, the lady in hot pink.

You have the floor, lady in hot pink.

Me?

Would you care to more specifically identify yourself?

Oh, sure!

My name is Elle Woods, Boston by way of Bel Air.

And as my surname would suggest...

I am a passionate advocate for everything in nature...

and a contented citizen...

until my shorthaired Chihuahua, Bruiser...

brought me face-to-face with the animal testing issue.

You're out of order, Miss Woods.

This is a fuel efficiency hearing.

I don't see anything in the agenda about animal testing.

Will you yield the floor?

Absolutely. I'm almost done.

So, in conclusion, I just want to say...

that I am so excited about the day...

that I get to march up those grand Capitol steps...

and drop that very bill in the...

What's it called?

It's like a shiny, mahogany box thing?

The hopper.

Exactly! The hopper! How could I forget?

It's like a bunny. Perfect for animal testing.

And I want to let everybody know...

that I'm having a post- hopper tapas party.

I'm making sangria. It's really yummy.

My, my, how very interesting that all sounds.

It'll be fun.

However, the next time you consider...

attending a hearing over which I preside...don't!

Committee is called to order.

OK.

Welcome to the special meeting of the Committee...

of Energy and Commerce. For the record...

would the secretary please make note that...

Welcome to the Wellington, ma'am.

Seventeen-B?

You have a package.

Inside that box are the most perfect wedding shoes ever.

Both visually stunning and cleated.

And I won't be able to wear them...

since I obviously won't make the date...

for Emmett's fantasy baseball wedding...

given that I don't have a chance of getting...

those important congresspeople to co-sponsor my bill...

which I need to get a hearing to stop animal testing...

in order to reunite Bruiser with his mother...

in order to have them at my wedding...

in which I was going to wear...

the most perfect wedding shoes ever...

right inside that box.

They never covered this in the handbook.

They're something, all right.

You think?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Elle Woods, legislative aide...

to Congresswoman Rudd, Massachusetts.

Sid Post. Doorman.

That door.

All day I've felt like white, open-toed shoes after Labor Day.

I hate that feeling.

Whatever that means.

I better get going. If I'm going to pass a law...

I have to work up some plan of attack...

with the Committee of En and Ron or whatever.

Bye, Sid.

-Comm. -What'd you say?

It's called the Committee of Energy and Commerce.

Oh, yeah. Right. Thanks.

This is really important to me, Grace.

They wouldn't cover my nana's anti-itch cream...

which means she only has one free hand for bingo.

-lf I could get a hearing-- -Where's your bill, Reena?

The staff lawyers couldn't draft it for six weeks...

but if you could talk to the congressman's aide...

I could get on the agenda.

We pushed prescription drugs last term.

I have a lot of issues that come first.

Reena, if Grace finds herself otherwise prioritized...

maybe you could talk to this aide yourself.

Or better yet, directly to the congressman.

Don't you have something to alphabetize?

In fact, now that I think about it...

with Reena's clear passion for the project...

who better to write this bill than Reena?

Me?

It's like I always say--

Why let someone else do for you what you can do for yourself?

Except in the case of eyebrow maintenance.

We always say follow protocol.

It's worked for the past 200 years...

OK, Miss Snap Cup?

Stick it out with the lawyers. They'll get to you eventually.

This is the new congressmember roster.

Just a dollar.

Don't you believe in helping a guy out?

What I do believe in, sir...

is an honest day's work for an honest day's pay.

Not rewards for idleness.

-50 cents? -Leave me!

-Just a quarter. -Go bother someone else!

People here have no common courtesy.

Want to get a hearing for your bill?

Get Congresswoman Hauser. She needs a political makeover.

Sidney?

Who needs a what?

Hauser. Tough redhead on En and Comm.

If she can put her name on something warm and fuzzy...

something like puppies, that could do the trick.

Really? What if I showed Hauser the photos...

of what they're doing to these animals?

That'd work... with someone with a heart.

Hauser responds to facts, figures, and demographics.

You gotta do your homework.

How did you learn all this?

I have been stationed on the forefront...

of all major political and social scandals...

for the past 30 years.

You worked in the White House?

No, at the Wellington.

After Hauser, you'll need Stanford Marks...

Alabama Republican. A real hard-ass.

Sidney, you are, without a doubt...

the most useful person I've met in Washington.

Hauser's margin in the last election?

Four points. 52-48.

Hauser's chief?

Hall, Ted. 34, moderate, tough.

-Marks' aide? -Murphy. Conservative, tougher.

-I think you're ready. -Thank you, Sid.

For shizzle...my ezzle.

I borrowed this.

Excuse me!

Given the historical tendencies...

of the congresswoman's voting pool...

animal testing is the very issue your platform needs.

Which brings me to my demographic breakdown target.

Which brings us to the end of our time, but good stuff.

I'll bat it around with my colleagues.

I'm not done with my presentation.

-ls Friday good? -Absolutely.

The second one in November, and the line starts down there.

But wait! I won't be here in November.

I'm getting married.

If you insist Congressman Marks is unavailable...

perhaps you could look at...

my alternative testing economics incentive chart.

But it's pop-up.

I will read this homeowners legislation this weekend.

Five more minutes and I'm due in committee. Reena.

Well--

Reena's prescription drugs for the elderly amendment--

rejected during mark-up session.

Sorry, Nana.

-Where are we with the animals? -Still not on the calendar.

So we're nowhere. Grace, help Elle with this.

Let's get going. I'll see you all later.

Grace...

I think I can get a meeting with Hauser's aide.

Please. You could have 100 meetings...

and it still wouldn't matter.

This is Washington politics...

not warm fuzzies and kissing booths.

It takes savvy and street smarts.

I've seen thousands of polite, idealistic girls...

just like you traipse up and down this Hill...

and go home empty- handed with blisters on their feet.

Thank you, Grace.

You actually reminded me of something really important.

I came here to give my dog a voice...

and I'd forgotten about my own.

So you can do it the Washington way.

But I'm going to do it the Elle Woods way.

Time to get serious.

Time to get serious.

Subject--Congresswoman Libby Hauser.

Came of age in Post-War boom...

typified by 1951 Charles Jourdan stiletto heel.

Moving up to the Texan's head, which is red...

suspect chemical assistance. Must pursue.

Hit me, Post.

118 salons within a 10-mile radius...

broken down by color expertise...

and philosophical approach to hair maintenance and style.

I didn't know you could have a philosophy of hair.

Oh, yeah.

Maybe that's where I went wrong.

Go for Woods.

It's just as you suspected.

She's at a moderate conservative salon...

founded on the principles of Vidal.

In fact, it was one of our case studies...

Iast year at Hair University.

That was right before they flunked me.

Paulette, they weren't ready for your vision.

I know you'll make your mark hair-wise.

Sorry.

-You got a pen? -Yes.

It's at Constitution and 12th.

The Salon Bontempo.

Don't you just love a salon day?

Yes, so peaceful and quiet.

Makes it so much easier to talk that way.

They have rules about that here.

I know. That's why I called to make sure...

they used PETA-approved hair care products.

When you think about what they do to those animals--

Which is why I don't think about it.

Does the trick.

Excellent bobby pin handling.

Thank you, Frederic. Looks great.

Isn't it so comforting to see...

they use eco-friendly foil technology here?

Every planet needs a friend, that's what I always say.

If I wanted to talk about the emotional life of a rock...

you'd know it by now.

Until this day, I'd held the highest opinion...

of redheads as a fellow hair minority group.

I heard quite enough of your politics...

at the committee meeting, thank you very much.

When was the last time you wore the yellow tea rose?

I'm sorry? What did you just--

When was the last time you wore your yellow tea rose?

On the night of my initiation.

Wasn't the passing of the secret scented eternal flame...

of the goddess Delta Nu not the most moving experience?

Especially the part where we sipped...

from the secret pink chalice of sisterhood!

Yes!

Delta who?

Delta Nu!

Delta-Delta boo-gah-loo

Nu Nu Delta

Theta, Beta

Lambda, Mu

Ooh- aah, Delta Nu!

Libby Hauser, Texas. Planning a wedding?

That

Thank you.

Who is he? Zeta Lambda Nu, I hope.

Actually, I'm marrying outside the Greek system...

but he's totally letter-worthy.

But how is D.C. Elle- worthy?

I'm here to speak for those who can't speak for themselves.

How interesting.

It's more than interesting. It's practical.

Strictly a numbers game as far as you're concerned.

125,468--Number of people in your district with dog licenses.

12,762--The number of unemployed scientists...

with the skills to develop alternatives to animal testing.

And finally, 6285--the lD number of my dog's captive mother.

I'm not sure I followed all that...

but you got my attention.

If there's one thing I know how to do...

it's rinse and repeat. Shall we?

Excuse me, do you happen to have a--

-Get lost! -Excuse me, sir!

-Do you have a-- -No, I'm busy.

Sir, could I use a section of your newspaper?

We're late for your doggie spa appointment.

-Here you go. -Thank you, young lady.

No problem. What kind of world would this be...

if we didn't help each other out every once in a while?

Have a good day.