Screw you small mood 滚蛋吧,小情绪

TED Speech:

滚蛋吧，小情绪

演讲思路

:

通过讲述孤独、失败、被拒对人的影响，呼吁人们关注心理健康

1.

首先讲述儿童生活时期自己对较大饼干的偏爱，

的偏爱，并以一个小男孩摔倒擦伤 后的处理措施加以验证。

2.

以读博 期间一次跟哥哥打电话的经历，讲述孤独使人误认为周围人不关心自己，从而不愿

主动与 他们交流。

3.

以幼儿园小朋友玩玩 具的例子讲述一次失败后，若人们相信自己无法成功，便容易放弃尝

试，从而永远无法成 功。

4.

以自己和朋友驾车被警察拦 截的例子论证：人一旦形成某个想法便难以改变。

5.

以一个女同事离婚后初次约会被拒后内心变化，

讲述人们当自尊受挫后 更倾向于自我损害

自尊。

6.

以哥哥肿瘤治疗期间我的心态变化，

讲述人们遇到不好的事情时能够通 过转移注意力的方

式走出阴影。

7.

描绘了对人人心理健康世界美好的憧憬，呼吁大家关注心理健康，并提供了若干小建议。

?

Take action when you lonely

?

Change your responses to failure

?

Protect your self-esteem

?

Battle negative thinking

Screw You Small Mood

I

grew

up

with

my

identical

twin,

who

was

an

incredibly

loving

brother. Now one thing about being a twin is it makes you an expert at

spotting

favoritism.

If

his

cookie

was

even

slightly

bigger

than

my

cookie, I had questions.

And clearly, I wasn

’

t starving. When I became a

psychologist, I began to notice

favoritism of a different kind

. And that

is

how much more we value the body than we do the mind

. I spent 9

years

at

university

earning

my

doctorate

in

psychology

and

I

can

’

t

tell

you

how

many

people

look

at

my

business

card

and

say

“

Oh,

a

psychologist, so not a real doctor

”

as if it should say that on my card. This

favoritism we show the body over the mind, I see it everywhere.

I

recently

was

at

a

friend

’

s

house

and

their

5-year-old

boy

was

getting ready for bed. He was stand on a stool by the sink brushing his

teeth, when he slipped, and scratched his leg on the stool when he fell. He

cried

for

a

minute, but then

he

got

back up, got back on

the stool,

and

reached out for a box of Band-Aids to put one on his cut. Now, this kid

could barely tie his shoelaces, but he knew you have to cover a cut, so it

doesn

’

t become infected, and you have to care for your teeth by brushing

them twice a day.

We

all

know

how

to

maintain

our

physical

hygiene

and

how

to

practice dental hygiene, right? We

’

ve known it since we were 5 years old.

But what do we know about maintaining our psychological health? Well,

nothing.

What

do

we

teach

our

children

about

emotional

hygiene?

Nothing. How is it we spend more taking care of our teeth than we do our

minds? Why is it our physical health is so much more important than our

psychological health?

You know, we sustain psychological injuries even more often we do

physical ones, injuries like failure or rejection or loneliness. And they can

also

get

worse

if

we

ignore

them

and

they

can

impact

our

lives

in

dramatic

ways.

And

yet,

even

though

there

are

scientifically

proven

techniques we could use to treat these kinds of psychological injuries. We

don

’

t. It doesn

’

t even occur to us that we should.

“

Oh, you are feeling

depressed.

Just

shake

it

off,

it

’

s

all

in

your

head.

”

Can

you

imagine

saying that to someone with a broken leg

“

Oh, walk it off; it

’

s all in

your

legs

”

.

It

’

s

time

we

closed

the

gap

between

our

physical

and

psychological health. It

’

s time we made them more equal, more like

twins.

Speaking of which, my brother is also a he isn

’

t a

real doctor,

ether.

We

didn

’

t

study

together,

though.

In

fact, the

hardest

thing I

’

ve ever done in my life is move across the Atlantic to New York

City to get my doctorate in psychology. We were apart then for the first

time in our lives, and the separation was brutal for both of us. But while

he remained among family and friends, I was alone in a new country. We

missed

each

other

terribly,

but

the

international

phone

calls were

really

expensive then, and we could only afford to speak for 5 minutes a week.

When

our

birthday

rolled

around,

and

it

was

the

first

we

wouldn

’

t

be

spending together. We decided to splurge, at that week we would talk for

10 minutes. I spent the morning pacing around the room, waiting him to

call, and waiting and waiting, but the phone didn

’

t ring. Given the time

difference, I assumed

“

OK, he

’

s out with friends, he will call later.

”

,

there were no cellphones then. But he didn

’

t. And I began to realize that

after being away for over ten months he no longer missed me the way I

missed him. I knew he would call in the morning, but that night was one

of the saddest and longest nights of my life. I woke up the next morning, I

glanced

at

the

phone,

and

I

realized

I

had

kicked

it

off

the

hoof

when

pacing the day before. I stumbled off the bed. I put the phone back on the

receiver, and it rang a second later, and it was my brother, and, boy, was

he pissed. It was saddest and longest night of his life as I tried

to explain to what happened, but he said

“

I don

’

t understand, if you saw

I

wasn

’

t

calling

you

why

didn

’

t

you

just

pick

up

the

phone

and

call

me.

”

He was didn

’

t I call him? I didn

’

t have an answer then,

but I do today. And it

’

s a simple one:

Loneliness

.

Loneliness creates a

deep

psychological

wound,

one

that

distorts

our

perceptions

and

scrambles our thinking. It makes us believe that those around us care

much

less

than

they

actually

do.

It

makes

up

afraid

to

reach

out

because

why

set

yourself

up

for

rejection

and

headache

and

when

your

heart

is

already

aching

more

than

you

can

stand.

I

was

in

the

grips of real loneliness back then. I was surrounded by people all day, so

it never occurred to me. But loneliness is defined purely subjectively. It

depends solely on whether you feel emotionally or socially disconnected

from those around you. And I did.

There

’

s

a

lot

of

research

on

loneliness

and

all

of

it

is

horrifying.

Loneliness

won

’

t

just

make

you

miserable,

it

will

kill

you

.

I

’

m

not

kidding. Chronic loneliness increases your likelihood of an early death by

14

percent.

Loneliness

causes

high

blood

pressure,high

cholesterol.

It

even

suppress

the

functioning

of

your

immune

system,

making

you

vulnerable

to

all

kinds of

illnesses

and diseases.

In

fact,

scientists

have

included that taken together, chronic loneliness poses as significant a risk

for

your

long- term

health

and

longevity

as

cigarette

smoking.

Now

cigarette

packs

come

with

warnings

“

this

may

kill

you

”

,

but

loneliness doesn

’

t

. And that

’

s why

it

’

s so important we prioritize our

psychological health that we practice emotional hygiene.

Because

you

can

’

t

treat

a

psychological

wound

if

you

don

’

t

even

know

you

’

re

injured

.

Loneliness is not the only psychological wound that distorts our

perceptions and misleads us. Failure does that as well.

I once visited a

day-care center, where I saw three toddlers play with identical plastic toys.

You

had

to

slide

the

red

button

and

a

cute

doggie

would

pop

out.

One

little girl tried pulling the purple button then pushing it, and then she just

sat back and look at the box, with her lower lips trembling. The little boy

next

to

her

watched

this

happen,

then

turned

to

his

box

and

burst

into

tears

without

even

touching

it.

Meanwhile,

another

little

girl

tried

everything

she

could

think

of

until

she

slid

the

red

button

,

the

cute

doggie popped out and she squealed with delight. So three toddlers with

identical plastic toys but with very different reactions to failure. The first

two toddlers were perfectly capable of sliding a red button, the only thing

prevented

them

from

succeeding

was

that

their

mind

tricked

them

into

believing they could not.