英语舞台剧剧本,五到十分钟

《孔雀东南飞》（英文搞笑话剧）

——

金科

Wanders every five miles

焦仲卿

Johnny(J for short)

刘兰芝

Lunch(L for short)

焦母

Johnny

< br>’

s mother(JM for short)

刘母

Lunch’s

mother(LM for short)

太守之子

Mayor

’

s son(MS for short)

强

盗

Burglars(AB and C)

Prologue

(J

作被打状跑上台

,

内砸出一卷纸筒

,J

被

打中

,

狼狈不堪

)

J: Everybody says that

I’m hen pecked,

but

in fact,

I’m as strong as a tiger,(

小声

)while my

wife is WuSong.

(

指着上台处的门大声道

)I’m not afraid of

you!

< br>(

内砸出一脸盆

,

Ｊ接住当成盾 牌护着

头

)Then,

I’m afraid of whom?

My wife Lunch is the most famous woman

in the neighbor-hood. She is braver than me,

smarter than me and stronger than me. All this

I do not care.I only want her to be tender than

me. But she is not! Having a wife like this is

just like living in the hell!

As you see , people live around here all

said that I am not a man. Yes, I am not a man,

I am a handsome man.(

手撩头发做臭美状

)

(< /p>

内又砸出一卷纸筒

,

击中

J)

My God! Who can help me?(

下

)

Act1

(

序幕结束时

,JM

作窃听状

)

JM(

拄拐棍上

):I can!

(

对门内

)Lunch! Lunch! Where are you?

L(

扎着围裙

,

拿着锅铲

,

从门内跳出来

):I’m

here!

What’s

up mum?

JM:

I’ve told you again and again that you

should call me“

my most beautiful graceful

and dearest mother- in-

law”.

L: OK. My most beautiful graceful and

dearest mother-in-

law,what’sup?

（口气很不

情愿）

JM: Since you married my son you have

behaved so badly. You have been so rude, so

brusque,

so lazy……

L:

But……

JM:Never interrupt me!

L: Never interrupt me!

（手势）

Since I

married your son, that terrible Johnny

（语气重

点头）

, I have been working hard all day long,

cooking and washing. I have raised

（掰手指头

数）

ten soft hous and sof pigs and ducks and

chicken and……

JM: But all those you have done are not as

valuable as a grandson!

L(

生气地挥动着锅铲

):Oh, you want a

grandson,

don’t you?(

开始解围裙

)Go and ask

your son.

I’m leaving!(

,

扔在

JM

的

脸上

,

下

)

Act2

(LM

坐在台上打毛线

,L

拿着锅铲 上

)

L: Mum,

I’m back!

LM:

（惊讶睁大眼）

You are back? Why?

What happened?

L: I was kicked out by my most beautiful

graceful and dearest mother

–

in- law.

（怨愤抱

拳在胸前）

LM(

惊讶

,

但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神

情

):Se e!

（手指向兰芝）

I have already told

you!

（咳嗽两声）

When you insisted on

marrying that terrible Johnny,

（

咳）

I told you

that he is ugly stupid and poor, but you did not

listen to me. Look at

yourself……

（咳咳咳）

L: But,

mum……

（很委屈温声细语）

LM: Never interrupt me!

L: Mum,

I’m not interrupting you.

I just

want to tell you that you are always right OK?

And I’ll marry whom ever you want me to

LM(

大喜

):Nice girl!

（竖大拇指）

Just now,

I met the mayor`s son in the market. He

said:“If your daughter

h

aven’t been married,

I

really really want to marry her!”

Now you are

free again,

I’ll go and tell him.(

下

)