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Unit2
ng up
Children
培养孩子
Gerald Mosback
Vivienne Mosback
杰拉尔德
.
莫斯巴克
维维恩
.
莫斯巴克
It is generally
accepted that the experiences of the child in his
first years largely determine his
c
haracter and later personality. Every
experience teaches the child something and the
effects are c
umulative.
?Upbringing?
is normally
used to refer to the treatment and training of the
child withi
n the home. This is closely
related to the treatment and training of the child
in school, which is us
ually
distinguished by the term
?education?.
In a society
such as ours, both parents and teachers
are responsible for the opportunities
provided for the development of the child, so that
upbringi
ng and education are
interdependent.
一个人儿童时代的经
历在很大程度上决定了他的性格和未来的个性，
这一点是被大家所公认
< br>的。童年的每一段经历都会教给孩子一些有价值的东西，并且其效果与日俱增。
“培养”
常用来指孩子在家里所受到的待遇和训练；
与此相关的是孩子在学校里所受到的待遇和训练，
而后者通常用
“教育”这个术语来界定。在我们这个社会中，父母和老师都有责任为孩
子
的发展提供机会，这样就使培养和教育有一种相互依赖的关系。
The ideals and
practices of child rearing vary form culture to
culture. In general, the more rural t
he
community, the more uniform are the customs of
child upbringing. In more technologically
de
veloped societies, the period of
childhood and adolescence tends to be extended
over a long tim
e, resulting in more
opportunity for education and greater variety in
character development.
Early
upbringing in the home is naturally affected both
by the cultural pattern of the
community
and by the
parent?s
capabilities and
their aims and depends not only on upbringing and
educatio
n but also on the innate
abilities of the child. Wild differences of innate
intelligence and tempera
ment exist even
in children of the same family.
根据文化的差
异，抚养孩子的目的和方式也各不相同。一般来说，
越是在农村地区，抚养孩
子的习俗就越相似。
在科技更加发达的社会里，
孩
子的童年时代和少年时代可能会延长，
因
此他们受教育的机会就
会更多，个性的发展就更具多样化。
在家庭中的早期培养，
一方面受到所在社区文化模式的影响，
另一方面也受到父母的能
力和
培养目标的影响，
这一切不仅取决于培养和教育，
而且还取决于孩子的天性。
因此即使在同
样家庭
里长大的孩子，他们天生的智力和脾性也存在很大的差异。
Parents can ascertain what is normal
in physical, mental and social development, by
referring to
some of the many books
based on scientific knowledge in these areas, or
less reliably, since the s
ample is
smaller, by comparing notes with friends and
relatives who have children.
父母可以依据有关孩
子教育方面的科学知识，
或许有些是不可靠，
通过这些知识来了
解孩子
的体力和智力以及社会发展的正常状况。
家庭教育范围较
小，
父母还可以与有孩子的朋友和
亲戚交换看法。
Intelligent
parents, however, realize that the particular
setting of each family is unique, and the
can be on rigid general rules. They use
general information only as a guide in making
decisions an
d solving problems. For
example, they will need specific suggestions for
problems such as speech
defects or
backwardness in learning to walk or control of
bodily functions. In the more general
se
nse, though, problems of upbringing
are recognized to be problems of relationships
within the in
dividual family, the first
necessity being a secure emotional background with
parents who are unt
ied in their
attitude to their children.
然而聪明的父母意识到每
个家庭的背景各不相同，
因此就不应该循规蹈矩。
在决定和解决
问
题时，他们只能把一般规律作为指导。
譬如，在孩子有语言缺陷，学走路障碍或是身体器
官失控时，
父母就需要使用特殊的暗示来解决这些问题。
但从更加普遍的意义上来说，
培养
孩子的问题就是一个家庭内部的关系问题，
其
中首要前提是孩子与父母有稳固的情感，
他们
在对待孩子的态度
上必须一致。
All parents have
to solve the problems of freedom and discipline.
The younger the child, the mo
re readily
the mother gives in to his demands to avoid
disappointing him. She knows that if his
en
ergies are not given an outlet, her
child?s
continuing
development may be warped. An example
o
f this is the young
child?s
need to play with
the mud and sand and water. A child must be
allowed
to enjoy this
?messy?
but tactile stage of
discovery before he is ready to go no to the less
physica
l pleasures of toys and books.
Similarly, throughout life, each stage depends on
the satisfactory co
mpletion of the one
before.
所有的父母必须解决孩子的自由与纪律
的问题。
孩子越小，
母亲为了不令其感到失望，
就越
容易对孩子的要求作出让步。
因为她知道，
如果孩子的精力得不到发泄，
那么他持续稳定的
发展就会受到影响。小孩子喜欢玩泥巴，沙子和水就说明了这一点。在儿童乐于接受玩具、
书本这些脑力活动前，我们必须允许他们从这个
“凌乱”
但又是通过触觉去发现的阶段中
得到乐趣。同样，在人的一生当中，每个阶段的发展都是
依靠前一个阶段的圆满完成。
Where one stage of child development has been left
out, or not sufficiently experienced, the
ch
ild may have to go back and capture
the experience of it. A good home makes this
possible---for e
xample by providing the
opportunity for the child to play with a clockwork
car or toy railway train
up to any age
if he still needs to do so. This principle, in
fact, underlies all psychological
treatmen
t of children in difficulties
with their development, and is the basis of work
in child clinics.
如果儿童发展的某一个阶段被忽略了，
或是没有得到充分的体验，
那么他可能就要重返那个
阶段以获得那个阶段所应获得的经验。一个好的家庭就会做到这一点。譬如在这类家庭里，
无论孩子的年龄有多大，
只要他们需要，
父母都会为
孩子提供玩具小汽车和玩具火车的机会。
这个原则实际上是对有发展障碍的儿童进行所有
心理治疗的依据，
同时也是儿童诊所进行治
疗的基础。
The beginnings of
discipline are in the nursery. Even the youngest
baby is taught by gradual stag
es to
wait for food, to sleep and wake at regular
intervals and so on. If the child feels the word
ar
ound him is a warm and friendly one,
he slowly accepts its rhythm and accustoms himself
to conf
orming to its demands. Learning
to wait for things, particularly for food, is a
very important elem
ent in upbringing,
and is achieved successfully only if too great
demands are not made before the
child
can understand them.
纪律是从一个孩子在育婴室时就开始的
。
当一个人还是婴儿时，
父母就会逐渐地教他等待开
饭的时间，
在规定的时间内睡觉、
起床和一些其它
诸如此类的事情。
只有让儿童感到在他周
围是一个充满温暖和友
好气氛的世界，
他才会慢慢地接受这个世界的节奏，
习惯地服从
这个
世界对他提出的种种要求。
在培养孩子的过程当中，
让孩子学会等待尤为重要，
尤其是对食
物的等
待，若想在这方面取得成功，在孩子还不懂事时，
家长应该尽
可能少地对孩子提出
更多的种种要求。
Every parent watches eagerly the
chil
d?s
acquisition of each
new skill---the first spoken words, t
he
first independent steps, or the beginning of
reading and writing. It is often tempting to hurry
t
he child beyond his natural learning
rate, but this can set up dangerous feelings of
failure and stat
es of anxiety in the
child. This might happen at any stage. A baby
might be forced to use a toilet t
oo
early, a young child might be encouraged to learn
to read before he knows the meaning of
the
words he reads. On the other hand,
though, if a child is left alone too much, or
without any learn
ing opportunities, he
loses his natural zest for life and his desire to
find out new things for himself
.
每一位父母都渴望看到自己孩子所获得的每一种新技能，
例如孩子第一次开
口说话，
第一次
在无人帮助的情况下走路，或是学会了阅读和写
作。拔苗助长、超前学习常常诱惑着家长，
但这会使孩子养成一种害怕失败，
焦虑不安的心理状态。
这种拔苗助长的情况在任何年龄阶
< br>段都可能发生。
婴儿有时会被家长过早的强迫使用卫生间，
小孩子会在还不懂得词语本身的
含义时而被迫进行阅读。但另一方面，家长如果对孩子
放任不管，致使他没有学习的机会，
那么孩子就会失去对生活的热情，失去对新事物的好
奇心。
Learning together is
a fruitful source of relationship between children
and parents. By playing to
gether,
parents learn more about their children and
children learn more from their parents. Toys
and games which both parents and
children can share are an important means of
achieving this c
o-operation. Building-
block toys and jigsaw puzzles and crosswords are
good examples.
互相学习是增进父母与孩子之间情感的有利源泉。
通过一起玩耍，
家长可以更多地了解他们
的孩子，
同时孩子也可以从父母身上学到许多东西。
玩具和游
戏是促进这一亲和力最重要的
桥梁，譬如建筑类玩具、拼图玩具和纵横字谜
（一种填图游戏）都是进行情感交流的好工
具。<
/p>
Parents vary greatly in
their degree of strictness and indulgence towards
their children. Some
may be especially
strict in money matters, others are severe over
times of coming home at night,
punctuality for meals or personal
cleanliness. In general, the controls imposed
represent the nee
ds of the parents and
the values of the community as much as the
child?s
own happiness and
wel
l-being.
As regards the
development of moral standards in the growing
child, consistency is very import
ant in
parental teaching. To forbid a thing one day and
excuse it the next is no foundation for
mor
ality. Also, parents should realize
that
?example
is better than
prec
ept?.
If they are
hypocritical an
d do not practise what
they preach, their
children?
may grow confused and emotionally insecure
when they grow old enough to think for
themselves, and realize they have been to some
extent d
eceived. A sudden awareness of
a marked difference between their
parents?
ethics and their
mor
als can be a dangerous disillusion.
父母在对自己孩子的严格或放任程度上差异很大。
有些家长对孩子在钱的方面上要求十分严
格，
而
有些家长在其它方面要求非常严格，
譬如他们要求孩子放学后要按时回家，
准时吃饭
或是要求孩子保持个人卫生。
总而言之，<
/p>
就像孩子的幸福和快乐体现了家长的愿望和社会的
价值的一样，对
孩子所施加的压力也体现了这一点。
在儿童道德标准发展的
过程中，
父母的言行一致是非常重要的。
第一天禁止的事情在第
二天
却照常发生，这样的事情是没有道德依据的。也就是说，家长应该意识到：身教胜于
言教。
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