halogen-lpk
Previously on The Big Bang Theory...
So I told my mom she just needed to
back off.
This is our wedding,
and if anyone's gonna design the floral
arrangements,
it's going to be my man.
Thank you.
I mean, I-I'm not
trying to be a Groomzilla,
but... this
is my specialty.
Everything okay?
Yeah, it's just Anu's doorbell camera.
I helped her install it.
You
can't look at it. That's spying.
Who
the hell is this guy?
Ooh, let me see.
So you're still talking to your ex-
boyfriend?
Yes, and I'm not gonna
apologize for that.
And you need to
delete that app from your phone.
Because you're hiding something from
me?
No, because you should trust me!
How can I trust you?! I barely even
know you!
Then what are we doing?
I don't know.
Oh! Aah, sad
man!
Oh! Aah, sad man!
This
is so great.
Why don't we do it more
often?
Because you have two kids,
I have Sheldon,
and Penny's
apparently in the gym all the time,
'cause damn, look at her!
Yeah, so impressive how you manage
to bounce back after having no babies.
Ah, another reason why we don't do this
more often.
You've come to a giant
metal door.
I check the door for traps.
There are no traps.
I use my
wizard eye
to see what's on the other
side of the door.
Hey, that's sort of
like how you used a doorbell camera
to
spy on your fiancee.
No, it's nothing
like that.
Your wizard eye reveals a
monster.
- Oh. Is it alone and unloved?
- I guess.
I open the door and say,
I have a bottle of champagne for you.
Oh, we didn't order this.
It's from the gentleman at the end of
the bar.
Oh. Well, if we drink it,
does that mean we're making a promise?
'Cause I am happily married, although I
will watch.
We're not gonna do
anything.
Really? So all that work's
for Leonard?
Why don't you just call
her?
I'm sure you guys can work this
out.
I don't want to talk about it.
Let's just play.
Okay, the cyclops
tells you
that the enchantress you seek
is staying
at the Inn of the Dwarven
Lords.
Really? An inn?
Anu
is a concierge at a hotel.
That's a
little insensitive,
don't you think?
I hadn't noticed that before you
mentioned it.
Well, now that I've
mentioned it, how do you feel?
Bad.
Shame on you.
- Hey, ladies.
- Zack!
Hi. You guys know Zack.
- Yeah. - Of course.
Did-did
you send this over?
I did. I asked for
the most expensive one they have.
They
said it was $$200,
and I said I want a
more expensive one.
And then, they said
it was $$300.
But it-it was the same...
Don't.
Thank you, but you
shouldn't have spent so much.
Nah. It's
cool.
I sold my company for a boatload
of money.
And then I bought a boat.
Then I got married.
Guess
where.
On your boat?
No, but
that would've been awesome!
Well,
congratulations.
Hey, you and Leonard
should come over and have dinner with
us on our boat.
Yeah, that would be so
nice.
Leonard was just saying how he
was hoping to have dinner
with one of
your ex-boyfriends on his expensive boat.
- Well, then this worked out perfect! -
Oh, yeah.
Hey. How was game night?
Oh, off the charts.
Literally. Sheldon rolled a number so
high,
it wasn't on any of these charts.
That's funny.
Wow. I should
not have driven home.
How was ladies'
night?
It was fun. Amy got drunk and
kept telling us
that Sheldon's chest is
smooth like a porpoise.
Well, it does
squeak when you touch it.
And we ran
into Zack.
Oh. Yeah? How's he doing?
- He got married. - Oh. Well, that's
nice.
Yeah, and he sold his company for
a fortune and retired.
Huh.
And you ended up with me, so everybody
wins.
Wait. You're not jealous of Zack,
are you?
What? Oh, absolutely not.
In fact, he should be jealous of me
because I have you.
And a dungeon with
over 30 rooms left unexplored
because
no one thought to search for secret doors
under the wizard's throne.
Oh. You know, I'd like to go exploring.
Really?
Well, I'll get the
dice back out.
Well, I'll get the dice
back out.
Go away, Raj!
Go
away, Raj!
What are you doing?
I'm winning you back Love Actually
style.
I don't know what that means.
Really? You've never seen Love
Actually?
If you want to watch it right
now, I'll just wait.
I have nothing to
say to you.
Look, we both made
mistakes.
I am so sorry that I spied on
you.
I didn't mean to, but I know it
was not okay.
Now, do you want to
apologize to me?
You also said you
don't trust me and that you barely know me.
I really thought this would be more of
a back-and-forth thing.
Honestly, Raj,
why do you even want to marry me?
You
know, family and India and stuff.
Here's what I think.
All of
your friends are married,
and you don't
want to be left behind.
And honestly,
that's not a good enough reason.
Uh,
okay, well, how is that different
than
what you're doing?
Worried that you
wasted
so many years dating the wrong
people, and now,
you're just looking
for a shortcut.
You're right. It's not
different.
Okay, so we agree.
- Yeah. - Great.
Wait. What
did we just agree on?
That we shouldn't
see each other anymore.
You know what?
Why don't you shut the door, and I'll
just do the cards?
Why don't you shut
the door, and I'll just do the cards?
Uh, do you remember Penny's ex-
boyfriend Zack?
Leonard, I remember all
of Penny's ex-boyfriends.
If you'd
like, I could list them alphabetically.
No, thank you.
Fun fact. You
would think
Zack would be the last one
on the list,
but she also dated two
Zekes.
Well, apparently, Zack sold his
company
for a ton of money and retired.
And that bothers you?
I
don't know. I mean...
I guess so. Yeah.
It doesn't seem fair.
I work
hard.
I'm really smart.
I've
made substantial contributions to my field.
But Zack gets to be rich,
while I'm still working for a paycheck?
Well, a lot of people you don't know
are rich.
That doesn't seem to bother
you. Mark Zuckerberg,
Sultan of Brunei,
Gordon Letwin.
Who's that?
He's one of the first 11 employees of
Microsoft.
Yeah, well, I don't have to
hang out with Gordon Letwin. -
Well,
that's too bad.
He helped create the
HPFS file system.
Oh, the stories he
could tell.
Penny told him we'd go have
dinner with him and his wife
on their
stupid boat.
Well, just tell her you
don't want to go.
Well, then, she'll
think I'm being jealous and petty.
So
you want to seem mature and confident.
I make one mistake, and she says she
doesn't want to marry me.
- Like she
never screwed up. - Did she?
Well, she
agreed to marry me.
Honestly,
I think you dodged a bullet.
I don't think she was right for you.
Howie, shh.
What?
You can't bad-mouth Anu.
They're gonna get back together,
and you're gonna look like a jerk.
I mean, remember when we broke up,
and Penny said all those mean things
about you?
What did she say?
I don't want to get into it.
Some of it was hurtful, most of it was
true.
So I'm just supposed to lie to my
friend?
I don't want you to lie to me.
No one's gonna lie to you.
Lie.
She says the only
reason I'm marrying her
is because all
my friends are married,
and I don't
want to feel left out.
Oh, that's
nonsense.
No. She's right.
Now what do I say?