车站TED如何讲话才能让别人听进去20190827

2021年1月24日发(作者：reborn)
如何讲话才能让别人听进去

2019/8/27

The human voice: It's the instrument we all play. It's the most
powerful sound in the world, probably. It's the only one that can start a
war or say
when they speak, people don't listen to them. And why is that? How can
we speak powerfully to make change in the world?

人类的声音
:
是我们所有人都弹奏的乐器。

可能是这个世界上最有力的声
音。

它绝无

仅有，或能引起战争，

或能说“我爱你”。

然而，很多人有这种
经历，

当他们说的时

候，
人们并不在听。

这是为什么呢
?
我们怎样有力地说

而
让世界发生某种改变
?

What I'd like to suggest, there are a number of habits that we need
to move away from. I've assembled for your pleasure here seven deadly
sins of speaking. I'm not pretending this is an exhaustive list, but these
seven, I think, are pretty large habits that we can all fall into.

我所提议的是，

我们需要改变一些习惯。

在此我为你们收集整理了，

说话的
七宗罪。

我没打算假装这是一个详细的列表，

但这七个，我以为是

我们相当
容易犯的坏习惯。


First, gossip. Speaking ill of somebody who's not present. Not a nice
habit, and we know perfectly well the person gossiping, five minutes
later, will be gossiping about us.

第一就是，流言蜚语，

在背后说某些人的坏话。

这不是一个好习惯，我们都很
明白

那

个说闲话的人在五分钟以后

就会在别人跟前说我们的闲话。


Second, judging. We know people who are like this in conversation,
and it's very hard to listen to somebody if you know that you're being
judged and found wanting at the same time.

第二，评判。

我们知道有些人在谈话中是这样的，

这让人很难听进别人的话，

如果你

知道你被人评判

且被认为不合格。


Third, negativity. You can fall into this. My mother, in the last years of
her life, became very negative, and it's hard to listen. I remember one day,
I said to her,
dreadful?

第三，
消极。

你能陷入这个泥潭。

我的母亲，
在她生命的最后几年里，

变
得非常非常

消极，很难让人听她说话。

我记得有一天，我对她说，

“今天是
十月一号，”
她说，

“我知道，这不可怕吗?” (笑声
)
当某人那么消极的时候
是很难让人听进去的。


And another form of negativity, complaining. Well, this is the
national art of the U.K. It's our national sport. We complain about the
weather, sport, about politics, about everything, but actually,
complaining is viral misery. It's not spreading sunshine and lightness in
the world.

另外一种消极，就是抱怨。

这是英国的全国性艺术。

是我们的全国性运动。我
们抱怨天

气，

体育和政治，几乎每件事，

但实际上抱怨是病毒性的悲催，

它
不会在这个世界上

传播太阳和光明。


Excuses. We've all met this guy. Maybe we've all been this guy. Some
people have a blamethrower. They just pass it on to everybody else and
don't take responsibility for their actions, and again, hard to listen to
somebody who is being like that.

借口。
我们都遇上过这个家伙。

也许我们都曾经是这个家伙。

有些人有指责癖
好。

他

们怪罪任何人

而不是对自己的行为负责任，

所以，
这又是让人难以聆
听的一种。


The sixth of the seven, embroidery, exaggeration. It demeans our
language, actually, sometimes. For example, if I see something that really
is awesome, what do I call it?
And then, of course, this exaggeration becomes lying, and we don't
want to listen to people we know are lying to us.

七件里面的老六，倒数第二，

浮夸，吹牛。

它有时贬低了我们的语言，事
实上。

比如，

如果我看见

什么真的很神奇的事情，

那我该说什么呢
? (
笑声
)
当
然这种夸大后来就

变成了说谎。

彻头彻尾的说谎，我们就不想听

这种我们知
道会说谎的人。


And finally, dogmatism. The confusion of facts with opinions. When
those two things get conflated, you're listening into the wind. You know,
somebody is bombarding you with their opinions as if they were true. It's
difficult to listen to that.

最后是，固执己见，

把事实和意见混淆。

当这两件事混为一谈，

你就像
在听风一样。

你知道，有人用他们自己的意见来强迫你。

这很难让我们听讲。


So here they are, seven deadly sins of speaking. These are things I
think we need to avoid. But is there a positive way to think about this?
Yes, there is. I'd like to suggest that there are four really powerful
cornerstones, foundations, that we can stand on if we want our speech to
be powerful and to make change in the world. Fortunately, these things
spell a word. The word is
not talking about the stuff that falls from the sky and hits you on the
head. I'm talking about this definition, to greet or acclaim
enthusiastically, which is how I think our words will be received if we
stand on these four things.

这就是说话的七宗罪。

我认为这些是我们需要避免的。

但有没有比较正面的呢
?
的确

有。

我想建议四种我们可以牢靠站立的

真正强有力的基石或者基础，

如
果我们想让我

们的言语有力

并且让世界产生变化。

幸运的是，这些事情连起
来是一个单词。

这个词

就是“hail”，它有着特别好的定义。

我不是讲那个
天上掉下来的

砸在你头上的东西。

我在谈论的是

“热情地致敬或赞扬”这个
定义。

我认为我们的言辞会如此被接受，

如

果我们坚持这四件事。


So what do they stand for? See if you can guess. The H, honesty, of
course, being true in what you say, being straight and clear. The A is
authenticity, just being yourself. A friend of mine described it as standing
in your own truth, which I think is a lovely way to put it. The I is integrity,
being your word, actually doing what you say, and being somebody
people can trust. And the L is love. I don't mean romantic love, but I do
mean wishing people well, for two reasons. First of all, I think absolute
honesty may not be what we want. I mean, my goodness, you look ugly
this morning. Perhaps that's not necessary. Tempered with love, of
course, honesty is a great thing. But also, if you're really wishing
somebody well, it's very hard to judge them at the same time. I'm not
even sure you can do those two things simultaneously. So hail.

那么它们到底是什么呢
?
看看你是否能猜到。

H
，
代表了诚实
(Honesty)
，
当然，

说

真话，直接了当并且清楚明白。

A
，代表了真实(Authenticity)
，做一个自
然而然的自己。

我的一个朋友把它描述为

坚持真实的自己，

我觉得这是一个
优美的表述。

I
，代表了正

气
(Integrity)
，言而有信，

说到做到，

成为别人能
信任的人。

L
，代表爱
(Love)
。

我不是指罗曼蒂克的爱情，

而是指对别人有良
好的祝愿，这出于两个原因。

第一，我认

为绝对的诚实

也许不是我们所想要
的。

我的意思是，天哪，今天早上你真难看。

那可

能不必要。

诚实是很重要
的。当然，适当地带着爱。

但还有，当你真的很希望别人好，

就很难同时评判
他们。

我不知道你们是否能

同时做到这两点。

那么

hail
。


Also, now that's what you say, and it's like the old song, it is what you say,
it's also the way that you say it. You have an amazing toolbox. This
instrument is incredible, and yet this is a toolbox that very few people
have ever opened. I'd like to have a little rummage in there with you now
and just pull a few tools out that you might like to take away and play
with, which will increase the power of your speaking.

上面提到的是你所说的内容。

另外，就像老歌里唱的，你所说的很重要，

还有
你的表达

方式也很重要。

你有一个很神奇的工具盒。

里面有难以置信的工具，

然而这个工具盒

只有不多的人打开过。

我愿意跟你们在这里

做一点儿探查，
并且找出几种工具。

你也

许想拿来试一下，

这些将会增加你说话的力量。


Register, for example. Now, falsetto register may not be very useful most
of the time, but there's a register in between. I'm not going to get very
technical about this for any of you who are voice coaches. You can locate
your voice, however. So if I talk up here in my nose, you can hear the
difference. If I go down here in my throat, which is where most of us
speak from most of the time. But if you want weight, you need to go
down here to the chest. You hear the difference? We vote for politicians
with lower voices, it's true, because we associate depth with power and
with authority. That's register.

比如说，
音域。

假声大部分时候可能是没用的，

但在两者之间会有一种是有用
的。

对

于在座的语音教练们，

我不会在这个问题上很深入。

然而，你能定位
你的声音。

如果

我把声音提到鼻子这儿，你可以听出不同。

如果我把声音降