qq的意思Love-and-Loving-Relationships英汉双语[完美版]知识讲解

2021年1月21日发(作者：celebrated)




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Unit4
The following text is extracted from Marriages and Families by Nijole V
Benokraitis. The book has been used as a text book for sociology courses and women
studies in a number of universities in the United States. It highlights important
contemporary changes in society and the family and explores the choices that are
available to family members, as well as the constraints that many of us do not
recognize. It examines the diversity of American families today, using cross- cultural
and multicultural comparisons to encourage creative thinking about the many critical
issues that confront the family of the twenty fist century.

Love and Loving Relationships
Nijole V. Benokraitis

1.

Love-as both an emotion and a behavior-is essential for human survival- The
family is usually our earliest and most important source of love and emotional
support. Babies and children deprived of love have been known to develop a wide
variety of problems- for example, depression, headaches, physiological
impairments, and neurotic and psychosomatic difficulties- that sometimes last a
lifetime. In contrast, infants who are loved and cuddled typically gain more
weight, cry less, and smile more. By five years of age, they have been found to
have significantly higher IQs and to score higher on language tests.

2.

Much research shows that the quality of care infants receive affects how they
later get along with friends, how well they do in school, how they react to new
and possibly stressful situations, and how they form and maintain loving
relationships as adults. It is for these reasons that people's early intimate
relationships within their family of origin are so critical. Children who are raised
in impersonal environments (orphanage, some foster homes, or unloving families)
show emotional and social underdevelopment, language and motor skills
retardation, and mental health problems.

3.

Love for oneself, or self-love, is also essential for our social and emotional
development. Actress Mae West once said,
I loved myself.
quite insightful Social scientists describe self-love as an important oasis for self-
esteem. Among other things, people who like themselves are more open to
criticism and less demanding of others. Fromm (1956) saw self-love as a
necessary prerequisite for loving others. People who don't like themselves may
not be able to return love but may constancy seek love relationships to bolster
their own poor self-images. But just what is love? What brings people together?
4.

Love is an elusive concept. We have all experienced love and feel we know what
it is; however, when asked what love is, people give a variety of answers.
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According to a nine- year-old boy, for example,
you have to run for your life.
talking about love for family members, friends, or lovers. Love has been a source
of inspiration, wry witticisms, and even political action for many centuries.

5.

Love has many dimensions. It can be romantic, exciting, obsessive, and
irrational- It can also be platonic, calming, altruistic, and sensible. Many
researchers feel that love defies a single definition because it varies in degree and
intensity and across social contexts. At the very least, three elements are
necessary for a loving relationship: (1) a willingness to please and accommodate
the other person, even if this involves compromise and sacrifice; (2) an
acceptance of the other person's faults and shortcomings; and (3) as much
concern about the loved one's welfare as one's own. And, people who say they are


6.

In any type of love, caring about the other person is essential. Although love may,
involve passionate yearning, respect is a more important quality. Respect is
inherent in all love:
and in his own ways, and not for the purpose of serving me.
are missing, the relationship is not based on love. Instead, it is an unhealthy or
possessive dependency that limits the lovers' social, emotional, and intellectual
growth.

7.

Love, especially long-term love, has nothing in common with the images of love
or .frenzied sex that we get from Hollywood, television, and romance novels.
Because of these images, many people believe a variety of myths about love.
These misconceptions often lead to unrealistic expectations, stereotypes, and
disillusionment. In fact,
the-oatmeal love
thrilling but is relatively mundane and unromantic. It means paying bills, putting
out the garbage, scrubbing toilet bowls, being up all night with a sick baby, and
performing myriad other ' oatmeal

8.

Some partners take turns stirring the oatmeal. Other people seek relationships that
offer candlelit gourmet meals in a romantic setting. Whether we decide to enter a
serious relationship or not, what type of love brings people together?

9.

What attracts individuals to each other in the first place? Many people believe
that
them together. Such beliefs are romantic but unrealistic. Empirical studies show
that cultural norms and values, not fate, bring people together We will never meet
millions of potential lovers because they are
rules on partner eligibility due ton factors such as age, race, distance, Social class,
religion, sexual orientation, health, or physical appearance.
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10.

Beginning in childhood, parents encourage or limit future romantic liaisons by
selecting certain neighborhoods and schools. In early adolescence, pear norms
influence the adolescent's decisions about acceptable romantic involvements
(
are cultured in the sense that societal and group practices and expectations shape
romantic experience. Although romance may cross cultural or ethnic borders,
criticism and approval teach us what is acceptable romantic behavior and with
whom. One might
us to

11.

Regan and Berscheid (1999) differentiate between lust, desire, and romantic love.
They describe lust as primarily physical rather than emotional, a condition that
maybe conscious or unconscious. Desire, in contrast, is a psychological in which
one wants a relationship that one doesn't now have, or to engage in an activity in
which one is not presently engaged. Desire may or may not lead to romantic love
(which the authors equate with passionate or erotic low). Regan and Berscheid
suggest that desire is an essential ingredient for initiating and maintaining
romantic love. If desire disappears, a person is no longer said to be in a state of
romantic love. Once desire diminishes, disappointed lovers may wonder where
the
longingly) about

12.

One should not conclude, however, that desire always culminates in physical
intimacy or that desire is the same as romantic love. Married partners may love
each other even though they rarely, or never, engage in physical intimacy. In
addition, there are some notable differences between love- especially long- term
love- and romantic love. Healthy loving relationships, whether physical or not
(such as love for family members), reflect a balance of caring, intimacy, and
commitment.



下面的文章选自奈杰尔贝诺克瑞提斯的婚姻与家庭。此书在美国的一些大
学里被用作 社会学和妇女研究等课程的教材，它强调了在当代社会和家庭中所
发生的重要变化，探索了家庭成员所面 临的选择，以及我们很多人都还未意识
到的种种约束。该书还审视了当今美国家庭的多样性，运用跨文化 和多元文化
的比较，以激发创造性思维来研究
21
世纪家庭所面临的许多严峻问题。< br>

爱和情感连系

奈杰尔·贝诺克瑞提斯


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