爱碎了痴心TED英语演讲 为什么我们保持着联系却仍旧孤单Why we are connected but still feel

2021年1月17日发(作者：耐心的名言)
TED英语演讲
Whyweareconnectedbutstillfeelalone?
为什么我们保持着联系却仍旧孤单？
TED简介：我们对技术的期待越来越多，同时，我们对彼 此的期待却越来越少了？电子产
品和网络角色似乎正重新定义着人们的沟通和交流，SherryTur kle致力于研究这种影响，并
引发这样的深刻思考：我们究竟需要怎样的沟通方式。
演讲者： SherryTurkle
片长：20：51
|英文演讲稿|
Justamoment ago,tsaid,youwill
ythe
centralparadox.I'mawo manwholovesgettingtextswho'sgoingtotellyouthattoom anyof
themcanbeaproblem.
Actuallythatreminde rofmydaughterbringsmetothebeginningofmystory.1996, whenIgave
myfirstTEDTalk,
justwrittenabookth atcelebratedourlifeontheinternetandIwasabouttobeon thecoverof
eheadydays,wewereexperimentingwithch atroomsandonlinevirtual

,asapsychologist,wh atexcitedmemostwastheideathatwewouldusewhatwe
l earnedinthevirtualworldaboutourselves,aboutouriden tity,tolivebetterlivesinthereal
world.
Nowfa st-forwardto2012.I'hter''sa
epswithhercellphone ,'vejustwrittenanewbook,butthis
timeit'happened ?I'mstill
excitedbytechnology,butIbelieve,andI' mheretomakethecase,thatwe'relettingittakeus
pla cesthatwedon'twanttogo.
Overthepast15years,I've studiedtechnologiesofmobilecommunicationandI'veint erviewed
hundredsandhundredsofpeople,youngandol d,tI've
foundisthatourlittledevices,thoselittle devicesinourpockets,aresopsychologicallypowerfulthattheydon'tonlychangewhatwedo,thethingswedonow
withourdevicesarethingsthat,onlyafewyearsago,w ewouldhavefoundoddordisturbing,
butthey'vequick lycometoseemfamiliar,justhowwedothings.
Sojustt otakesomequickexamples:Peopletextordoemailduringco rporateboardmeetings.
TheytextandshopandgoonFac ebookduringclasses,duringpresentations,actuallydur ingall
talktomeabouttheimportantnewskillofmakin geyecontactwhileyou're
texting.(Laughter)People explaintomethatit'shard,stextand
doemailatbreak fastandatdinnerwhiletheirchildrencomplainaboutnoth avingtheirparents'
arecent
ventextat
veou rselvesfromourgrieforfromourreveryandwegointoourphones.
Whydoesthismatter?Itmatterstomebecaus eIthinkwe'resettingourselvesupfortrouble—
troub lecertainlyinhowwerelatetoeachother,butalsotrouble inhowwerelatetoourselves
'regettingusedtoanewwa yofbeingalonetogether.
Peoplewanttobewitheachot her,butalsoelsewhere—connectedtoallthedifferentpla ces
nttogoinandoutofalltheplaces
theyarebeca usethethingthatmattersmosttothemiscontroloverwhere theyputtheir
anttogotothatboardmeeting,butyouon lywanttopayattentiontothebits
epeoplethinkthat' canenduphidingfromeach
other,evenaswe'reallcons tantlyconnectedtoeachother.
A50-year-oldbusines smanlamentedtomethathefeelshedoesn'thavecolleagues anymoreat
goestowork,hedoesn'tstopbytotalktoany body,hedoesn'ays
hedoesn'twanttointerrupthiscol leaguesbecause,hesays,toobusyontheiremail.
Butt henhestopshimselfandhesays,know,I'mnottellingyouth etruth.I'mtheonewho
doesn'Ishouldwantto,butactu allyI'dratherjustdothingson
myBlackberry.
Ac rossthegenerations,Iseethatpeoplecan'tgetenoughofe achother,ifandonlyiftheycan
haveeachotheratadis tance,ttheGoldilockseffect:nottoo
close,nottoof ar,tmightfeeljustrightforthatmiddle- agedexecutivecanbea
p18-year-oldboy
whousest extingforalmosteverythingsaystomewistfully,someday ,butcertainly
notnow,I'dliketolearnhowtohaveaco nversation.
WhenIaskpeoplewrongwithhavingaconve rsation?Peoplesay,tellyouwhat's
splaceinrealtim eandyoucan'tcontrolwhatyou're
'g,email,posting, allofthesethingsletuspresent
oedit,andthatmeans wegettodelete,andthatmeansweget
toretouch,thefa ce,thevoice,theflesh,thebody—nottoolittle,nottoomu ch,justright.
Humanrelationshipsarerichandthey' remessyandthey'leanthemup
nwedo,oneofthethingst hatcanhappenisthatwesacrifice
rtime,weseemtofor get
this,orweseemtostopcaring.
Iwascaughtoff guardwhenStephenColbertaskedmeaprofoundquestion,ap rofoundquestion.
Hesaid,allthoselittletweets,do n'tallthoselittlesipsofonlinecommunication,adduptoonebiggulpofrealconversation?Myanswerwasno,the ydon'tinginsips
mayworkforgatheringdiscretebits ofinformation,theymayworkforsaying,thinking
abo utyou,orevenforsaying,loveyou,—Imean,lookathowIfel twhenIgotthattext
frommydaughter—buttheydon'tre allyworkforlearningabouteachother,forreallycoming< br>seconversationswitheachothertolearnhowto
ght fromconversationcanreallymatterbecauseitcan
sgr owingup,thatskillisthebedrockof
development.
OverandoverIhear,tI'mseeingisthatpeoplegetso
u sedtobeingshort-changedoutofrealconversation,souse dtogettingbywithless,thatthey've
xample,manypeo pleshare
withmethiswish,thatsomedayamoreadvance dversionofSiri,thedigitalassistantonApple's
iPh one,willbemorelikeabestfriend,someonewhowilllisten whenotherswon'vethis
wishreflectsapainfultrutht hatI'elingthatnooneis
'swhyit'ssoappealing
t ohaveaFacebookpageoraTwitterfeed—feelingthat
no oneislisteningtomemakeuswanttospendtimewithmachine sthatseemtocareaboutus.
We'redevelopingrobots,t heycallthemsociablerobots,thatarespecificallydesig nedtobe
companions—totheelderly,toourchildren,s olostconfidencethatwewillbe
thereforeachother?D uringmyresearchIworkedinnursinghomes,andIbroughtin these
sociablerobotst
onedayIcameinandawoman whohadlostachildwastalkingtoarobotintheshapeofabab y

ypeoplefoundthisamazing.
Butthatwomanw astryingtomakesenseofherlifewithamachinethathadnoe xperienceof
'experience
ngthatmomentwhenthat womanwas
experiencingthatpretendempathy,Iwasthi nking,robotcan'n'tface
n'tknowlife.
Andastha twomantookcomfortinherrobotcompanion,Ididn'tfindit amazing;Ifounditone
ofthemostwrenching,nIsteppe dback,I
feltmyselfatthecold,ctmorefromtechnolog yandless
kmyself,havethingscometothis?
AndIb elieveit'
'relonely,butwe'romsocialnetworkstoso ciable
robots,we'redesigningtechnologiesthatwil lgiveustheillusionofcompanionshipwithoutthe
tot echnologytohelpusfeelconnectedinwayswecan
'otso muchincontrol.
Thesedays,thosephonesinourpocket sarechangingourmindsandheartsbecausetheyoffer
, thatwecanputourattentionwhereverwewantittobe;two,< br>thatwewillalwaysbeheard;andthree,tthirdidea,
thatwewillneverhavetobealone,ethemomentthat
pe oplearealone,evenforafewseconds,theybecomeanxious, theypanic,theyfidget,they
lonefeelslikea
e,< br>esses,butitdoesn'tsolve,anunderlying
ethanas ymptom,constantconnectionischangingthewaypeoplethi nkof
'sshapinganewwayofbeing.
Thebestwaytode scribeitis,echnologytodefineourselvesby
sharing ourthoughtsandfeelingsevenaswe'reitwas:Ihaveafeeli ng,I
's:Iwanttohaveafeeling,blemwith
thisnew regimeofsharethereforeIamisthat,ifwedon'thaveconne ction,wedon'tfeellike
stdon'dowedo?
theproce ss,wesetourselvesuptobeisolated.
Howdoyougetfro mconnectiontoisolation?Youendupisolatedifyoudon'tc ultivatethe
capacityforsolitude,theabilitytobes eparate,deiswhereyoufind
don't
havethecapaci tyforsolitude,weturntootherpeopleinordertofeelless anxiousorinorderto
ishappens,we''sasthoughwe're
intothinkingthatalways
'reatrisk,becauseact uallyit'sthe
oppositethat''renotabletobealone,w e'edon't
teachourchildrentobealone,they'reonlyg oingtoknowhowtobelonely.
WhenIspokeatTEDin1996, reportingonmystudiesoftheearlyvirtualcommunities,I said,
whomakethemostoftheirlivesonthescreencome toitinaspiritofself-reflection.
Andthat'swhatI' mcallingforhere,now:reflectionand,morethanthat,aco nversationabout
whereourcurrentuseoftechnologym aybetakingus,'resmitten
'reafraid,likeyounglove rs,thattoomuchtalkingmightspoilthe
'upwithdigit altechnologyandsoweseeitasallgrown
'snot,it''sp lentyoftimeforustoreconsiderhowweuseit,howwe
bu ildit.I'mnotsuggestingthatweturnawayfromourdevices ,justthatwedevelopamore
self-awarerelationshipw iththem,witheachotherandwithourselves.
ysto
sacredspacesathome—thekitchen,the
diningroom—,w e're
sobusycommunicatingthatweoftendon'thavetim etothink,wedon'thavetimetotalk,about
portant,we allreallyneedtolistentoeach
other,eit'swhenwest umbleorhesitateorloseourwords
thatwerevealourse lvestoeachother.