byul经典幽默英语故事(30个) (1)

2021年1月11日发(作者：郁文)
经典幽默英语故事（50个）
要求：
1、每天阅读两篇小故事，写出故事大意，尽量理解故事里的幽默点。
2、在阅读故事的过程 中，遇到不认识的单词，先不要查字典。阅读
完小故事后，可以查一查文章里的词汇，并做一些笔记。
3、开学后，请把这14页的阅读素材，装订成册，上交给各班的英语
老师。老师会根据你的完 成情况，给你的阅读作业打出分数。
姓名：_________ 班级：_________ 学号：_________ 成绩：_________
第一篇
My First and My Last
When George was thirty-five, he bought a small plane and learned to
fly it. He soon became very good and made his plane do all kinds of
tricks.
George had a friend. His name was Mark. One day George offered to take
Mark up in his plane. Mark thought,
several times, but I've never been in a small one, so I'll go.
They went up, and George flew around for half an hour and did all
kinds of tricks in the air.
When they came down again, Mark was very glad to be back safely, and
he said to his friend in a shaking voice,
very much for those two trips in your plane.
Gerogy was very surprised and said,

故事大意：
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第二篇
First Flight
Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents,
so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was

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very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe,
and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.
His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had
heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was
extremely frightened and closed his eyes.
After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to
his friend,

故事大意：
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第三篇
A Nail Or A Fly?
An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in
each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on,
the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor. When a waitress discovered what had
happened, she showed deep sympathy for him and decided to do him a favour.
So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nail
exactly where the fly had stayed.
Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident.
When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adn
slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her
great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand
bleeding!
故事大意：
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__________________________________ _____________________________________________
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第四篇
I'll See to the Rest
A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on
the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.
on, miss!he shouted. the door, please!
I just want to kiss my sister goodbye,she called back.
just shut that door, please,called the guard, I'll see to the rest.
故事大意：
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第五篇
Chaude and Cold
A patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded.
he complained.

Montreal.< br>

故事大意：
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第六篇
A Soldier's Brilliant Idea


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Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by
air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he
looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There
was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not
taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it.
When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said,

unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something
particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit
in.
Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice
and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The
soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside
himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip.
故事大意：
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第七篇

New Discovery
A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy
older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door
slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.
Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled,
故事大意：
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第八篇
A Bad Impression
Six people were travelling in a compartment on a train. Five of them were quiet and well behaved,
but the sixth was a rude young man who was causing a lot of trouble to the other passengers.
At last this young man got out at a station with his two heavy bags. None of the other passengers
helped him, but one of them waited until the rude young man was very far away and then opened
the window and shouted to him,
the window again.
The young man truned around and hurried back with his two bags. He was very tired when he
arrived, but he shouted through the window,
As the train began to move again, the passenger who had called him back opened the window and
said,

故事大意 ：
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第九篇
Sleeping Pills

Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescrib
ed some extra-strong sleeping pills.
Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He
took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: didn't have a bit
of trouble getting up this morning.
fine,roared the boss, where were you Monday and Tuesday?
故事大意：
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___________________________________ ____________________________________________
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第十篇
Creative


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Applying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications. Asked
about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in
computer programming classes. I got the job.
I had neglected to mention that I took the same course for three years before I passed.
故事大意：
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_____________________________________ __________________________________________
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第11篇
Reminder
In the veterinary office where I'm a technician, we mail out reminders when pets are due
for vaccinations. Bruno, a German shepherd, arrived for his annual rabies shot, and we
were required by state law to ask his owner if Bruno had bitten anyone in the last ten d
ays. yes, in fact that's why we're here,she replied. Surprised, I told her we assume
d they'd come in because of our reminder.
did,she explained. bit the mail carrier who was delivering your card.
故事大意：
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第12篇
Imitate Birds
A man tried to get a job in a stage show.



故事大意：
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第13篇
How Did You Ever Get Here
One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late.
was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two.
The boss eyed him suspiciously.

故事 大意：
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第14篇
Three Surgeons

Three famous surgeons were bragging about their skills.
off,

on, and today that man is a marathon runner.

was nothing left but a horse's posterior - and a pair of glasses. Today that man is seated in United
States Senate.
故事大意：
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_________________________________________ ______________________________________


第15篇
One Side of the Case

A judge asked our group of potential jurors whether anyone should be excused, and one man
raised his hand.



at a time.
故事大意：
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